Paige F. at the 164 and Beyond Group – 2025

About This Speaker Tape

A relief-seeking missile with shoulders worn as earrings, Paige F. describes the claustrophobia of the obsession of the mind. She paints a gritty picture of the "monster in the forest"—the mental obsession that relentlessly hunts the alcoholic, closing the gap until it takes a swipe and sends them crashing back to the bottle. For Paige, sobriety was not a solution but a fragile state that always ended at the edge of a cliff.

Facing a cloud of unknowing, she describes the leap of faith required to move from the wreckage of the past into a new way of living. She rejects half-measures, opting instead to dive into the inventory process like her life depends on it. By treating the Big Book as a map rather than a treasure, Paige details how the rigorous action of amends and the "letting in" of a Higher Power shifted her from a state of hopelessness to a neutral safety where the obsession is simply gone.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Paige P. opens by focusing on the final paragraphs of page 164.
• 4:15 Discussion of the 'allergy of the body' and the 'obsession of the mind' (Step 1).
• 8:30 The 'monster' metaphor: mental obsession as a beast chasing the alcoholic through a forest.
• 11:45 The practical leap of faith: starting the Fourth Step inventory with pen and paper.
• 14:20 Laughter: The 'admit one' ticket metaphor for the Fifth Step.
• 17:10 The fear of the Ninth Step and the 'unexpected' success of making amends.
• 21:00 Analyzing the 10th Step as a growth step rather than a maintenance step.
• 25:30 The 'relational view' of a Higher Power and the importance of daily connection.