Offering a Phony Step 3 Prayer While Feeling Like a Moral Leper – Barney M.

About This Speaker Tape

Woodland Hills, California. A television news anchorman with a swimming pool and fancy clothes, convinced he couldn't be an alcoholic because he was too successful. Barney M. describes himself as a "moral leper"—not just a sinner, but someone who thoroughly enjoyed the sin. He spent years bullshitting his way through a career in broadcasting, masking a terrified little boy with a slick, worldly persona. He recalls the "magic discovery" that drinking made him feel like a million dollars, leading to blackouts that left him waking up in Jamaica with no memory of how he got there.

After a divorce and a "horrible sobriety problem," Barney entered rooms he hated, mopping floors and mocking speakers. He admits to offering a phony Step 3 prayer to a phony Higher Power just to stay sober. He urges newcomers to leave their heads at the door and "put your ass in the chair," arguing that action is the only way out of the wreckage.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Barney M. opens by discussing his roots in West Virginia and his history with the Canyon Club.
• 4:30 Discussion of his childhood in a Catholic Irish neighborhood in Chicago and the influence of the nuns.
• 8:15 Barney M. describes himself as a 'moral leper' who enjoyed sinning.
• 14:20 The 'magic discovery': the realization that drinking makes him feel better regardless of his life state.
• 18:45 Laughter: Story about waking up in Kingston, Jamaica, with no memory of the previous 24 hours.
• 24:10 Barney M. describes his 'horrible sobriety problem' and his first call to a sponsor.
• 31:00 The 'floor mopper' incident: being told by a meeting leader to mop the floors instead of providing 'better' literature.
• 36:40 Barney M. discusses the 'redhead with the greatest legs in North America' as his primary motivation for attending meetings.
• 42:15 Advice to newcomers: 'Put your ass in the chair and leave your head outside.'
• 48:30 Mention of the Third Step Prayer and the concept of a 'phony prayer to a funny god.'
• 54:00 Reflection on the 'Our Father' and the involuntary nature of a father's love for his children.
• 58:10 Closing thoughts on the essence of AA as 'one drunk talking to another drunk.'