Ninth Step and Financial Amends – Big Book Workshop – Part 2 of 2 – Cass N.

We're in the middle of two employers, and we're definitely going to finish this chapter up tonight, and we'll probably going to get into a vision for you. We're on page 143, the first full paragraph. And while this chapter is addressed to the employers, the directions in it, just like the directions into wives and the family afterwards, actually applies to practically every relationship and especially applies this chapter to working with a sponsor. If your man accepts your offer, it should be pointed out that physical treatment is but a small part of the picture. Though you are providing him with the best possible medical attention, you should understand that he must undergo a change of heart To get over drinking will require a transformation of thought and attitude. We all had to place recovery above everything, for without recovery we would have lost both home and business. And basically this has taken us back to the doctor's opinion. We have to go through a personality change sufficient to recover from the disease of alcoholism and this psychic change. I remember I was told when I came into this program, the same person who put the cork in the bottle will take it out. There has to be a different person there. And sobriety has to come first. And damn, I certainly wasn't used to living my life around meetings every day. and especially talking to a sponsor about how I really wasn't handling life on life's terms. Can you have every confidence in his ability to recover while on the subject of confidence? Can you adopt the attitude that so far as you are concerned, this will be a strictly personal matter that his alcoholic dereliction, the treatment about to be undertaken, will never be discussed without his consent. It might be well to have a long chat with him on his return. To return to the subject matter of this book, and once again this is, you know, a promo for the book, it contains full suggestions by which the employee may solve his problem. To you, some of the ideas which it contains are novel. Also to the drunk, perhaps you are not quite in sympathy with the approach we suggest. By no means do we offer it as the last word on this subject, but so far as we are concerned, it has worked with us. after all you are not looking for results rather than after all are you not looking for results whether your employee likes it or not he will learn the grim truth about alcoholism that won't hurt him a bit even though he does not go for this remedy we suggest you draw the book to the attention of the doctor who is to attend your patient during treatment. If the book is read the moment the patient is able, while acutely depressed, realization of his condition may come to him. Now here they're telling the doctor, they're telling the employer to get involved with the doctor and there have been times when I was working with women and they were seeing a shrink or they were seen a counselor or They were seeing a psychiatrist, a psychologist. And most of these professionals were really sympathetic towards the approach that we were taking here in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and didn't offer things that were contrary. There are some, especially psychiatrists, who don't realize that they're not God. They really think they are and sometimes it's, I'm not going to go off on this tangent, Sometimes it's really hard when it's your sponsee who's working with them. And one of the things I've found that works very well is I've turned around to a sponseee and said, why don't you have your psychiatrist give me a call? So the psychiatrist knows where I'm coming from. And I've never received a phone call. and what has happened is the sponsee had an easier time now I don't know if that's just coincidence or what but I'm not here to fight a doctor I'm here to work with the drunk we hope the doctor will tell the patient the truth about his condition whatever that happens to be when the man is presented with this volume It is best that no one tell him he must abide by its suggestions. The man must decide for himself. You are betting, of course, that your changed attitude plus the contents of this book will turn the trick. In some cases it will. In others it may not. But we think that if you persevere, the percentage of successes will gratify you. As our work spreads and our numbers increase, We hope your employees may be put in personal contact with some of us. Meanwhile, we are sure a great deal can be accomplished by the use of the book alone. And again, it's an advertisement for the book. On your employee's return, talk with him. Ask him if he thinks he has the answer. If he feels free to discuss his problems with you, if he knows you understand and will not be upset by anything he wishes to say, He will probably be off to a fast start. In this condition, you can remain undisturbed if the man proceeds to tell you shocking things. And they're alluding here to the fact that very often we have to go back to these employers and do a ninth step with them. He may, for example, reveal that he has padded his expense account or that he is planning to take your best customers away from you. In fact, he may say almost anything if he's accepted our solution, which, as you know, demands rigorous honesty. And the statement of rigorous honesty, I know I've said it before, Rigorous means just that And it's in every area And the only thing I can tell you That is in any way a loophole Is sometimes we feel We're being asked inappropriate questions I was taught I still can't lie The only thing I can say Is I think that's an inappropriate question Or, I choose not to answer that. And that doesn't always fly. A lot of times it doesn't. But I don't have to lie. Can you charge this off as you would a bad account and start fresh with him? And remember something, they're talking to the employer and if the employer is in there making amends and talking about stealing a computer or a program or padding the expense account, You don't make these amends until you're prepared to make the amends. And that amends is a financial amends, and it doesn't matter if you're talking $10 a week. I came into this program owing $125,000 in amends And because I didn't have the thousands to pay this person and that person, the whole list of them, as a result, I made no amends. And then it started getting absolutely absurd. And now there's actually in the neighborhood of about $5,000 that has been knocked off in amends, and I only started doing this a couple of years ago, And I've had financial problems for several years. But when you walk into somebody, and even if you're paying $10 a week, you know what? They don't care. And there's a woman who says that, you know, the A... She calls it the AA payment plan. It's a dollar down and a dollar a day. You know, and that works for her. I lost my plate okay can you charge this offer if he owes you money he may wish to make terms if he speaks of his home situation you can undoubtedly make helpful suggestions can he talk frankly with you so long as he does not bear business tales or criticize his associates what a concept so I can go into work and that means that anytime I want to deal with my boss I am not supposed to criticize my associates that was a hell of a concept for me to grab with this kind of employee such an attitude will command undying loyalty the greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resentment jealousy, envy, frustration and fear. And here's another list of what will take us out. Wherever men are gathered together in business, there will be rivalries and arising out of these a certain amount of office politics. Sometimes we alcoholics have an idea that people are trying to pull us down. Often this is not so at all. That's because we're paranoid. But sometimes our drinking will be used politically one of the questions I've often been asked is should I tell my boss I'm an alcoholic and when I'm filling out an application do I put down I was arrested well the laws are real clear on things like that that. And if it's under 18, you don't have to put it down. The law of the land says that. If it's over 18, I really don't know any way of avoiding it. And there's a guy who was sitting for his law test he was sitting he was taking the bar exam and he had to fill out the the application to take it and yeah he was arrested and yeah, he put it down and yeah. He's a lawyer and it's the craziest thing in the world and I can't explain it and none of us have ever been able to but it happens I just don't know a way around it one instance comes to mind in which a malicious individual was always making friendly little jokes about an alcoholic's drinking exploit in this way he was slyly carrying tales in another case an alcoholic was sent to a hospital for treatment only a few knew of it at first but within a short time it was billboard throughout the entire company. Naturally, this sort of thing decreased the man's chance of recovery. The employer can many times protect the victim from this kind of talk. The employer cannot play savers, but he can always defend a man for needless propagation and unfair criticism. And back to the idea of whether or not you tell your boss. Usually I tell people go with your gut. If you have to, tell them. Is it impacting your job that you have to see a doctor? Do you have go to a rehab and you have to do something and there's no way to conceal it? Yeah. If you don't have to it's your call. I work for numerous employers and I'd say maybe two or three know I'm an alcoholic. It's just not necessary to tell them. And it's really a judgment call. And it is the kind of thing I would strongly suggest that before you do something like that, speak to your sponsor. That is what sponsors are there for, to help direct your thinking. Okay, the next paragraph is going to talk about why employers like us so much. We are described as energetic people. And actually, we're obsessive-compulsive. But that is an asset for most employers. And it's something we actually have to work on. As a class, alcoholics are energetic people. They work hard and they play hard. Your man should be on his mettle to make good. Being somewhat weakened and faced with physical and mental readjustment to a life which knows no alcohol, he may overdo. He may start becoming a workaholic. You may have to curb his desire to work 16 hours a day. Usually sponsors do that. You may need to encourage him to play once in a while. He may wish to do a lot for other alcoholics and something of the sort may come up during business hours. A reasonable amount of latitude will be helpful. This work is necessary to maintain his sobriety. And in some cases, this is where bosses do know. And most of the time I found that I could usually find five or ten minutes, sometimes 15 or 20, to talk to somebody who's calling me at work because they're in trouble. and worst case scenario, I have a lunch hour and I can take my lunch and I can speak to them then. After your man has gone along without drinking for a few months, you may be able to make use of his services with other employees who are giving you the alcoholic runaround provided of course they are willing to have a third party in the picture. An alcoholic who has recovered but holds a relatively unimportant job can talk to a man with a better position. Being on a radically different basis of life, he will never take advantage of the situation. I've never seen that happen, but I know of cases where alcoholics have been asked to talk to colleagues. And again, all this stuff is, can you be of service? and if you think you can talk to the person your man may be trusted long experience with alcoholic excuses naturally arouses suspicion when his wife next calls saying he is sick you might jump to the conclusion he is drunk if he is and is still trying to recover he will tell you about it even if it means the loss of his job for he knows he must be honest if he would live at all you know the early A.A.s put a lot of stock in honesty and it is the foundation of this program he will appreciate knowing you are not bothering your head about him that you are no suspicious nor are you trying to run his life so he will be shielded from temptation to drink if he is conscientiously following the program of recovery he can go anywhere your business may call him and I'll tell you a story about this I was working for an employer who was really into everybody's life and things like that and like in most jobs accusations are made and they were made on a parallel line somebody in the same level of authority as I was was making an accusation against me. And I just practiced the principles of the program, and that's the way I approached it. When I screwed up and they wanted to know who did this, I sat there and said, I did. And it was pretty embarrassing, and there were times I ate humble pie. And there were other times that, you know, that was the end of it. They just wanted to know who did it. And no, I never looked good in those situations. And it was one of the women I was working with was having a conflict with me. And she mentioned something to the boss and the boss called me on the carpet. And I looked at my boss and I said, that's not true. i said i don't know where you got your information she told me where the information came from and i said what and i'm not allowed to criticize and i'M NOT ALLOWED TO USE LABELS and i was in good spiritual condition that particular day and i looked at my boss and i said And I don't know why she has that impression, because I didn't do it. That woman was called into the office with me and the first words out of my boss's mouth to her was, Kat says she doesn't, she did not do this and Kat doesn't lie. And, you know, I just sat there and went. And that's simply because in the day-to-day operation, I was putting my reputation on the line. And when I made a mistake, I owned up for it. I didn't volunteer. I mean, I didn' t walk in and say, oh man, I screwed up on this. But if they asked me, yeah, I said I did. And I didn''t explain. That was in the years when my sponsor wasn''t letting me explain anything. Um, you know, you laugh, but that went on for years. I mean, I am a slow learner. And it wasn't fun. Where am I? In case he does stumble, okay, now we're on to slips. In case He does stumble even once, you will have to decide whether to let Him go. And guys, this is a decision we make in our relationships every day. Remember, every relationship we're in and our job is a relationship involves a choice. And when it stops working for us, it may be time for us to get out. in case he does stumble even once you will have to decide make a choice whether to let him go if you are sure he doesn't mean business there is no doubt you should discharge him if on the contrary you are surer he is doing his utmost you may wish to give him another chance but you should feel under no obligation to keep him on So your obligation has been well discharged already. A lot of us work with other alcoholics, especially if we're employers. We tend to hire our own. And I lean a little bit towards, you know, a little more sympathetic to the drunk who's trying to put their life together. And I will make allowances. And I was in a situation where I was the boss and I had a recovering alcoholic working for me. And the reason I knew was we went to the same meeting. I didn't hire her. Oh, I did. That one I did hire. And she was screwing up royally. She wasn't meeting her deadlines and I was jumping through hoops to do her work because it had to be done. And I went to a meeting And I really, and my words were, I don't know how I can be of service to her any longer. I am going nuts. She is driving me crazy. And one of the guys in the room who's got marvelous sobriety, he shared right after me, and he said, I do not know what you are talking about, Tess. Being of service for her. You are the boss. She is the employee. She is not doing her job. Read to the employers. Get her ass out of there. Oh. And I do my favorites. And yeah, I did get rid of them. There is another thing you might wish to do. If your organization is a large one, your junior executives might be provided with this book. You might let them know you have no quarrel with the alcoholics of your organization. These juniors are often in a difficult position. Men under them are frequently their friends. So for one reason or another, they cover these men, hoping matters will take a turn for the better. They often jeopardize their own positions by trying to help serious drinkers who should have been fired long ago or else given an opportunity to get well. The last line is kind of tell. You either get rid of them or you give them an opportunity to get wealth and you threaten a person with loss of employment or you stop covering for the drunk who's your buddy or stop doing his work, you know what? you're telling the guy you your behavior is unacceptable and unless you do it you're putting off his bottom that's a piece of it after reading this book a junior executive can go to such a man and say approximately this look here ed do you want to stop drinking or not you put me on the spot every time you get drunk. It isn't fair to me or the firm. I have been learning something about alcoholism. If you are an alcoholic, you are a mighty sick man. You act like one. The firm wants to help you get over it and if you're interested, there is a way out. If you take it, your past will be forgotten and the fact that you went away for treatment will not be mentioned, but if you cannot or will not stop drinking, I think you ought to resign. Turn that around. If you're not willing to clean up your act, I'm not going to cover for you anymore. The junior executive may not agree with the contents of this book. He need not and often should not show it to his alcoholic prospects, but at least he will understand the problem and will no longer be misled by ordinary promises. He will be able to make a position, take a position with such a man, women. He will be able to take a position with such a man which is eminently fair and square. He will have no further reason for covering up an alcoholic employee. And this next paragraph, this is what this chapter boils down to. It boils right down to this. No man should be fired just because he is an alcoholic. If he wants to stop, he should be afforded a real chance. If he cannot or does not want to stop he should being discharged. The exceptions are few. And you know the other thing I want to point out to you notice that throughout whenever Bill is talking about getting rid of a guy or pulling the rug out from under somebody or making a determination whether or not they want the program or not. He keeps using the word if he cannot or does not want to stop. He doesn't judge. We never know when that time is when they're going to get the message. We think this method of approach will accomplish several things. It will permit the rehabilitation of good men. At the same time, you will feel no reluctance to rid yourself of those who cannot or will not stop. And that's another way of saying stop being a people pleaser. Alcoholism may be causing your organization considerable damage and it's a waste of time, men, and reputation. We hope our suggestions will help you plug up this sometimes serious leak. We think we are sensible when we urge you to stop this waste and give your worthwhile man a chance. The other day an approach was made to the Vice President of Large Industrial Concerns. He remarked, I'm mighty glad you fellows got over your drinking, but the policy of this company is not to interfere with the habits of our employees. If a man drinks so much that his job suffers, we fire him. I don't see how you can be of any help to us, for as you see, we don't have any alcoholic problem. The same company spends millions for research every year. Their cost of production is figured to a fine decimal point. They have recreational facilities. There is company insurance. There is real interest, but humanitarian and business in the well-being of employees. employees but alcoholism well they just don't believe they have it and that attitude is still prevalent today especially since a lot of our middle managers on in today's economy a lot about middle managers are in their late 20s in their 30s and they haven't been exposed to alcoholism and they really don't believe. It's a problem in their company. Perhaps this is a typical attitude. We who have collectively seen a great deal of business life, at least from the alcoholic angle, had to smile at this gentleman's sincere opinion. He might be shocked if he knew how much alcoholism is costing his organization a year. That company may harbor many actual or potential alcoholics. We believe that managers of large enterprises often have little idea how prevalent this problem is. Even if you feel your organization has no alcoholic problem, it might pay to take another look down the line. You may make some interesting discoveries. Of course, this chapter refers to alcoholics, sick people, deranged men. Not very kind to us. What our friend the vice president had in mind was the habitable or whoopee drinker. As to them, his policy is undoubtedly sound, but he did not distinguish between such people and the alcohol. It is not to be expected that the alcoholic employee will receive a disproportionate amount of time and attention. He should not be made a favorite. The right kind of man, the kind who recovers will not want this sort of thing. He will not impose. Far from it. He will work like the devil and thank you to his dying day. Today I own a little company. There are two alcoholic employees who produce as much as five normal salesmen, but why not? They have a new attitude and they have been saved from a living death. I have enjoyed every moment spent in getting them straightened out. Okay, we're going to start A Vision for You, and A Vision for You is pretty much an overview of how it works, and it's going to talk a little bit about the history of Alcoholics Anonymous, the stuff that was included in the prefaces prefaces in the forward for most normal folk drinking means conviviality companionship and colorful imagination it means release from care boredom and worry that's exactly what it does and there was never a time it was that for me it is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good but not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking the old pleasures were gone they were but memories never could we recapture the great moments of the past there was an insisting yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it there was always one more attempt and one more failure And this is the idea that we can drink like normal men, normal people. This is the ideal that has to be smashed. And I don't know, I know when I walked in here, I had no intention of smashing that idea. I mean it wasn't until I saw the kind of lives that you were living and the attitudes that you had and the fact that you knew what happiness was and it was a regular state of being in your life? Hell, I mean, I didn't know that. And all I had to do was work 12 steps and nothing to lose. And I told you if I didn' t get happy, I was leaving. The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of king alcohol, shivering denizens up his mad realm the chilling vapor that was loneliness settled down it thickened ever becoming blacker some of us sought out sordid places hoping to find understanding companionship and approval momentarily we did with that first drink then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous four horsemen terror, bewildering frustrations of despair I'm happy drinkers who read this page will understand, every time I read that paragraph it just brings back the memory of what it was like in the worst moments now and then a serious drink of being dry at the moment says I don't miss it at all, feel better work better, having a better time as ex-problem drink as we smile at such a sally. We know our friends is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take a half dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He can't picture life without alcohol. Someday he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it then he will know loneliness such as you do he will be at the jumping off place he will wish for the end you know one of the things that i i found um i worked with a woman for a couple of years and this has happened with more than one woman and I couldn't understand why they weren't happy something was missing couldn't figure it out and I spoke to my sponsor about it, and I asked them directly you know, what's going on and my sponsor said her experience, and she's got over 20 years her experience had been there's something they're not telling me they may have done a fifth step but they left something out or there's something that they're not willing to take and that happened to be true with one of them and with the other one it was I just couldn't put it together because there wasn't any of those things and what it turned out to be was she didn't have a real relationship with her God. She hadn't really practiced the third step, trusting a God, really trusting God, finding out what the difference is between faith and trust. Faith is I believe. Trust is I'm okay and this is happening to me. And I know I'll be okay in the end, no matter what the result. Don't have to like it. I'm going to be okay. That's trust. And that was the missing link with her. And, uh, I know, I pass it on to you for what it's worth. Um, we have shown how we got out from under. You say, yes I'm willing but am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum like some righteous people I see? I know I must get along without liquor but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute? And here's the answer and the answer is the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous which is different from the program. yes there is a substitute and it's vastly more than that it is the fellowship in alcoholic synonymous there you will find release from care, boredom and worry your imagination will be fired life will mean something at last the most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead thus we find the fellowship and so will you And that is because one of the things that happens, this happened to me, and I think, I suspect it happens to all of us. When alcohol started not working for me, it took me away from the things that made me human. It started putting up walls between people I loved. I wound up severing the maternal bonds with my two kids. I mean, I just wasn't responding like a parent. I couldn't connect with another human being on any kind of honest level. And that's what relationships are all about. It's being vulnerable, it's letting people in to see who I am and saying, I'm letting you look and I sure hope you're going to accept me. And when I'm let to look, they're saying the same thing to me and I'm making a choice. I'm Making a choice to be vulnerable. To let somebody see exactly who I am. And alcohol didn't force me to throw a facade up. And there was always a different person behind the facade. Because there was no way you could know who I was. Because I was a drunk. And I was insane. And there were somethings wrong with me. Because this thing was controlling me. and I had no control over anything and I lost touch with all real relationships and I was alone and what we have here is this is the first level I related I walked in here and you told me that God still loved me no matter what I did and you told me that I didn't have a choice when I was hurting everybody who was crossing my path you were also real quick to add that I was responsible for all the harm I caused but I didn' t have a choise and I wasn' t a bad person alcohol takes away our choice It determined how I treated everyone. And it's here that we find out that's okay. This is a disease, a body, mind and spirit. And you said to me, do what I did and you're going to be okay too. Because God doesn't love me more than he loves you. You can have this thing. And that's what we do. And that is why this book tells us that when God is working through us, we have the power to help another alcoholic when no one else can. And it's all about connecting. And the first place I learned to connect was with you. And then you gave me your list of rules and regulations about living skills and still trying to figure that one out. You are going to meet these new friends in your community. Oh, how is that to come about, you ask? Where am I to find these people? You are gonna meet these friends in the community. You are meeting these new people in your own community. Near you, alcoholics are dying helplessly like people in a sinking ship. If you live in a large place, there are hundreds, high and low, rich and poor. these are future fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous among them you will make lifelong friends you will be bound to them with a new and wonderful time for you will escape disasters together and you will commence shoulder to shoulder your common journey then you will know what it means to give of yourself that others may survive and rediscover life you will learn the full meaning of love thy neighbor as thyself. All right, and I want you to go to page 19, very last line on that page. Most of us sense that real tolerance of other people's shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others. Our very lives as ex-problem drinkers depends upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs. That's pretty damn clear cut. My life depends on my constant thought about how I can meet other people's needs. and the most important question I can ask in this program is what can I do for you it may seem incredible that these men are to become happy, respected and useful once more how can they rise out of such misery bad repute and helplessness the practical answer is that since these things have happened among us they can happen with you should you wish them above all else and be willing to make use of our experience we are sure they will come the age of miracles is still with us our own recovery proves that our hope is that when this chip of a book is launched on the world tide of alcoholism defeated drinkers will seize upon it to follow its suggestions many we are surer will rise to their feet and march on they will approach still other sick ones and fellowships of alcoholics anonymous may spring up in each city and hamlet havens for those who must find a way out in the chapter working with others you gathered an idea of how we approach and aid others to help suppose now that through you several families have adopted this way of life and if you notice the book is always talking about, not just the alcoholics, the families. And the thing, you know, I've said this before, sobriety is contagious. You can't treat a person with dignity and respect their opinion and have them jump all over your case time and time and time again. It doesn't work that way. People return in kind the way they're treated. And so my job in every relationship is to bring to the relationship what I want to get out of it. And if I want understanding, then I've got to bring understanding. And it doesn't matter if the other person is criticizing, criticizing, and criticizing. That's their side of the street. My job is to understand, and one of the things that I like about this, and I had to bring it back to me. I came into this program when I was 44 years old, and And nobody interfered with my career in alcoholism, although a lot of them would have liked to. And God said, Cass, I'm going to leave you alone until you're... Maybe you gave me a chance one other time and I passed it by. But I was 44 when I accepted the invitation. And God set it was all right for me to be out there that long. so who am I to tell you when it's time for you to get your act together that's trusting God and I have to take it to that level there is an exception and you got to read all 164 pages when a person is impacting on my sobriety and that includes my serenity when I allow that person to hurt me I am co-signing that person's insanity and before I make a decision to cut a person out of my life I go to a sponsor and I talk about it because I still have a disease of thinking and I'm still looking for the shortest way out and I mentioned this before I have never sponsored a woman and had her do a four step inventory that whether she was married or in a relationship she did not want to shed that relationship and it's because guys, it's easier I did the same thing I want out of the relationship and I'm talking about in sobriety I'm in a relationship and I am doing a four step inventory and first thing that occurs to me well obviously this relationship has to end you know and I was still in resentment you know I wasn't on page 69 every single time so I tell them they are stuck until they do 164 pages okay years ago um okay this is now we're going to get into some of the history of Alcoholics Anonymous where Bob and Bill meet and one of the things that was left out in the early part of the book where the history is presented they talk about the fact that Bob Bob got sober after he met Bill and they just glossed over it Bob refused to do nine step amends he drank and then he got sober and it's here that we find out that both our sponsors were not one time winners years ago in 1935 one of our number made a journey to a certain western city from a business standpoint his trip came off badly he had been successful in his enterprise he would have been set on his feet financially which at the time seemed vitally important but his venture wound up in a lawsuit and bogged down completely the proceeding was shot through with much hard feeling and controversy Bitterly discouraged, he found himself in a strange place, discredited and almost broke. Still physically weak and sober but a few months, he saw that his predicament was dangerous. He wanted so much to talk with someone but whom. One dismal afternoon, he paced a hotel lobby wondering how his bill was to be paid. At one end of the room stood a glass-covered directory of local churches. Down the lobby, a door opened into an attractive bar. He could see the gay crowd inside. In there he would find companionship and relief, unless he took some drinks he might not have the courage to scrape an acquaintance and would have a lonely weekend. Of course he couldn't drink, but why not sit hopefully at the table, a bottle of ginger ale before him. After all, had he not been sober six months now, perhaps he could handle say three drinks, no more. I love the way he does that. First of all, the mind says this alcoholic thinking. Well, I'm not drinking. I'm going to sit there with a bottle of ginger rail before me. Very next thought, perhaps he could handle, say, three drinks. I mean, he's not even trying one. He's jumping to three. He was on thin ice. Again, it was the old insidious insanity, that first drink. And one of the things that Bill really understood, He truly understood the insanity of the first drink and that that was the drink that had got us drunk. With a shiver, he turned away and walked down the lobby to the church directory. Music and gay chatter still floated to him from the bar. But what about his responsibilities? His family and the men who had died because he would not know how to get well. Ah yes, those other alcoholics. there must be many such in this town he would phone a clergyman his sanity returned and he thanked God selecting the church at random from the directory he stepped into a booth and lifted the receiver his call to the clergyman led him presently to a certain resident of the town who though formerly able and respected was then nearing the nadir of alcoholic despair It was the usual situation, home in jeopardy, white field, children distracted, bills in arrear and standing damaged. He had a desperate desire to stop but saw no way out for he had earnestly tried many avenues of escape. Painfully aware of being somehow abnormal, the man, and we're talking of course of Dr. Bob, did not fully realize what it meant to be an alcoholic. when his friend related when our friend Bill related his experience the man agreed that no amount of willpower he might muster could stop his drinking for long a spiritual experience he conceded was absolutely necessary but the price seemed high upon the basis suggested he told how he lived in constant worry about those who might find out about his alcoholism he had of course the familiar alcoholic obsession that few knew his drinking. Why, he argued, should he lose the remainder of his business only to bring still more suffering to his family by foolishly admitting his plight to the people from whom he made his livelihood? He would do anything, he said, but that. He refused to make a ninth step. And the literature I've read on this which is Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers and A.A. comes and Bill Wilson's story, Pass It On it doesn't seem that Bill really pushed him that much remember A.I. was just beginning they still had to wait a few more days for Bob to get sober being intrigued however he invited our friend to his home sometime later and just as he thought he was getting control of his liquor situation he went on a roaring bender what happened was there was an AMA convention in New York and Bob went to the convention and he was sober and he respond and he bought everything Bill was saying and on the way back they met he got off that train and he got drunk as a skunk and they sobered him up because he had surgery the next morning and Bill actually gave him a beer to settle his hand. And he performed the surgery and he left his wife and Bill in one room, went out another room and went to every single one of his patients that he was afraid he would lose. Admitted he was an alcoholic, They weren't getting the best possible care from him, and so on and so forth. And he made his amends. And that was June 10th, 1935. And that's the birthday of Alcoholics Anonymous. And he never drank again. What? Oh! It's Lansing City. I was just corrected. Sorry. Lance Exotic. For him it was the spree that ended all sprees. He saw he would have to face his problems squarely that God might give him mastery. One morning he took the bull by the horns and set out to tell those he feared what his trouble had been. He found himself surprisingly well received and learned that many knew of his drinking. Stepping into his car, he made the rounds the people he had hurt. He trembled as he went about for it might mean ruin particularly to a person in his line of business. At midnight he came home exhausted but very happy. He had not had a drink since and as we shall see he now means a great deal to his community and the major liabilities of 30 years of hard drinking have been repaired in four. But life was not easy for the two friends. Plenty of difficulties presented themselves. Both saw they must keep spiritually active. One day, they called up the head nurse of a local hospital. They explained their need and inquired if she had a first-class alcoholic prospect. She replied, yes, we've got a corker. He's just beaten up a couple of nurses. Goes off his head completely when he's drinking. But he's a grand chap when he's sober. So he's been here eight times in the last six months. Understand he was once a well-known lawyer in town, but just now we've got him strapped down tight and this became alcoholic number three. He was a prospect, all right, but by the description none too promising. The use of spiritual principles in such cases was not so well understood as it is now. But one of the friends said, put him in a private room, we'll be down. Two days later, a future fellow of Alcoholics Anonymous stared glassily at the strangers beside his bed. Who are you fellows and why this private room? I was always in a ward before, said one of the visitors. We're giving you a treatment for alcoholism. Hopelessness was written large on the man's face as he replied, Oh, but that's no use. Nothing would fix me. I'm a goner. The last three times, I got drunk on the way home from here. I'm afraid to go out the door. I can't understand it. For an hour, the two friends told him about their drinking experiences. And again, we're not telling him about his or asking a lot of questions about it. Over and over he would say, that's me, that' s me, I drink like that. The man in the bed was told of the acute poisoning from which he suffered, how it deteriorates the body of the alcoholic and warps his mind. There was much talk about the mental state preceding the first drink. Yes, that's me, said the sick man. The very image. You fellows know your stuff all right, but I don't see what good it'll do. You fellows are somebody. I was once, but I'm a nobody now. From what you tell me, I know more than ever. I can't stop. At this point, the visitors burst into laughter. Said the future fellow anonymous, damn little laugh about it that I can see. The two friends spoke of their spiritual experience and told him about the course of action they carried out. They're showing him how the 12 steps work. But first they form that identification with him. I'm a drunk just like you. I know exactly what that feeling is, that's your feeling. He interrupted. I used to be a strong churchman, but that won't fix it. I prayed to God on hangover mornings and swore that I'd never touch another drop, but by nine o'clock I'd be boiled as an owl. Next day found the prospect more receptive. he had been thinking it over maybe you're right, he said God ought to be able to do anything then he added he sure didn't do much for me when I was trying to fight this booze racket alone on the third day the lawyer gave his life to the care and direction of his creator and said he was perfectly willing to do everything anything necessary his wife came scarcely daring to be hopeful but she thought she saw something different about her husband already he had begun to have a spiritual experience so in three days this guy does a third step we can do this program in lightning speed and just remember we can go through all twelve steps I know people who've done it in two weeks it doesn't mean that you're never going to do an inventory again it doesn'T mean you're not going to remember some new people you harmed in your past and I know that a lot of people say oh I do a fourth step once and that's fine that works for them you know they use written ten steps or verbal ten steps and that truly does work for them. It doesn't work for me. I've got to see it in black and white. That afternoon he put on his clothes and walked from the hospital a free man. You know, one of the things this book is always saying is we can be happy and we can do something and we're going to be free. And so if you're in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and not just an alkanaut, you know, orbiting the rooms of AA. You're, we expect you to be happy. That's what this program is about, you now. And I get beat up a lot in the rooms with AA for that because I have one guy turn around at a meeting and he said, I know people who are half ingenious and free. They were all in Creedmoor, a mental institution. They're not free then. No! Hey, thank you! See, you do get your answers in the rooms of AA. But that's what this program is about. It's about... we absolutely insist on enjoying life. And we're not bad people. And the freedom comes from a relationship with a God of your understanding. And if you've got a God who isn't working for you, get rid of him. Get another God. You know? Borrow ours. Okay, that afternoon he put on his clothes and walked from the hospital a free man. He entered a political campaign, making speeches, frequenting men's gathering places of all sorts. He went back to the stream of life, often staying up all night. He lost the race only by a narrow margin, but he had found God, and in finding God, he found himself. That was in June 1935. He never drank again. He too has become a respected and useful member of his community. He has helped other men to recover and is a power in the church from which he was long absent. Vision for you, and we're on the very last paragraph.