My Sponsor Put His Foot on My Throat in the Front Yard and Said Good That’s Step 1 – David B.

About This Speaker Tape

David B., sober since January 2, 1981, shares his story from the Going to Any Lengths group in Tulsa. He grew up the youngest of three brothers in a sports-obsessed Chicago family where his father drilled winning above all else. Short, chubby, and unable to measure up to his athletic older brothers, David felt he never fit his father's expectations until he took his first drink — slow gin followed by oblivion — and felt 40 pounds drop off his shoulders. From that moment he spent years chasing that effect, blacking out, passing out, or running out every time he drank.

His drinking career peaked at Northern Illinois University in DeKalb, where he lived in a filthy apartment with moldy dishes and crusted carpet, dressed up as a Baseball Fury with a four-foot closet pole at a costume party and came home terrified he had hurt someone, and walked to a November art final in cutoff t-shirt, shorts, and thongs because the sun was shining. Back home, a blackout party trashed his parents' house again; strangers beat a lockbox behind the furnace trying to get at the house papers. His father told him, with a son like you I don't need any enemies. On January 2, 1981, David said words he had never said before: if I'm going to stop, I'm going to need help.

In AA he learned the difference between good and bad examples, got a sponsor in Norman who literally put a foot on his throat in the front yard to teach him Step One, and worked the steps. He met Susan on AA Row, botched a proposal in bed, nearly drank on a Saturday night drive-by of the Shaw's Trivial Pursuit game, and eventually married her on August 3, 1985. They renew their vows and do a third-step prayer on their marriage every year in the chapel at the Canyon Conference.

The tape closes with the miracle of his mother's sobriety: she was dying of alcoholism in Sarasota until his father found her drinking vodka at 3 a.m. and called for help. David flew down to hand her a one-year chip, then a five-year chip. At his own 15-year birthday, his father — the same man who once called him an enemy — watched AA in action and told him at the airport that he had been called to a higher order.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction — David B. from Going to Any Lengths group in Tulsa, sober January 2, 1981
• 3:00 Growing up with two athletic older brothers and a Cubs-minor-league father who only cared about winning
• 6:30 First drink of slow gin — 40 pounds drops off his shoulders, chases that effect ever after
• 10:00 Northern Illinois University — Baseball Furies costume party with closet pole, terror of hurting someone
• 14:00 Walks to November art final in cutoffs and thongs because the sun looked warm
• 17:30 98 partygoers destroy parents' home; lockbox beaten behind the furnace
• 21:00 Father says 'with a son like you I don't need any enemies'; David admits he needs help January 2, 1981
• 27:00 Norman sponsor puts a foot on his throat in the front yard — first real Step One
• 32:00 Botched proposal to Susan, drive-by the Shaw's Trivial Pursuit night, nearly drinks at 4 years sober
• 40:00 Hands his mother a one-year and later a five-year chip in Sarasota; father sees AA in action at his 15-year birthday