My Grandmother Poured My First Drink at Nine — Family of Origin Did the Rest – Amy O.

Let's have an AA meeting. My name is Kat, and I'm an alcoholic. Hi. Welcome to the Monday Night Blue Chips speaker meeting at the NABBA Club, where a member of Alcoholics Anonymous with one year or more of sobriety tells his or her story. And Frank is going to come up and introduce our speaker tonight. Everybody, I'm Frank Waters, and I'm a recovered alcoholic. And our speaker tonight is Amy O. And I always refer to her as Miss AA. Angry Amy. When she came in here, she was... I'm trying to watch my language, but I wasn't really prepared for this. She was getting close to Amy. It was like getting close to a pissed-off hedgehog. You know, it's like... You know, there's spikes everywhere. There's just sarcasm and just fear just dripped off of her. Being that I had a little time, I knew better than to confront her. Just let her have her rants. And... To... To this day, she's one of the most loving, sweet people I've ever met. Complete turnaround from what she came in here as. You won't find anybody that's more huggable, well, maybe me, than Amy. She is a dear, dear woman. And she's an example of what, you know, of what happens if you come in here and stay here. Yeah, that'd be Amy. My name's Amy, and I'm an alcoholic. This Friday date is October the 13th. It's the year of 2000 as well. That's not my first sober date. My first sober date was 2005. And I could get no more than a couple of months in between. They say, and it's true, that when you get relapsed, you pick up right where you left off. And that's how it happened for me. I'll tell you a little bit about me. Um, my real parents, my daddy was a full-blown alcoholic. And my real mother killed herself. I was adopted. I was given a great life for the best that they could do with me anyway. My first drink was nine years old. And all I know is my grandmother gave it to me. And I instantly loved it. It made me feel warm and tingly. And I knew I liked the way it felt. I had my first alcohol poisoning when I was 13 years old. What did they do? They put me in the hospital. They put me back together. Oh, there's nothing wrong with her. We can fix her. We can't fix something that don't want to be fixed. So I continued to drink, work, and drink. I was what they called a functioning alcoholic. I did everything and covered it up with drinking. Thank you. They took me to church. They prayed. They did all the stuff that they thought that they needed to fix. But I didn't want to be fixed. They gave me that courage that I wanted. I had some wild times. They always bailed me out of trouble. My mama wasn't working for the DA. My daddy worked for the sheriff's department. So they always bailed me out. Until I stole my daddy's police car. And proceeded to wreck it. And still, they bailed me out of trouble. That's what he got when they said, Oh, you're too drunk to take your car. We're taking your keys. Okay. All he knew is, I went out the back door, and he heard the car crank. Don't tell me I can't ever do something. Um, time went by. I graduated. Worked. I married the most worthless man in the world. The most worthless man I could never marry. And had the two kids that I later on gave up. But that was the only thing that I do, I did right. I used to put them in the car. I used to say goodbye to them. They're teenagers now. They graduated high school this year. And they're alcoholics. And their reason, my daughter's reason behind it, is mama, I like the way it makes me feel. Couldn't argue with it. But they're in the program now. She's one of us. And she's doing really good. That was what it was like. And what happened was that I would think I would hit my bottom. And I would do good for a while. And life got to me. I wouldn't, like Frank said, I wouldn't let nobody close to me. You thought you knew me? You didn't know me. Because I would never let anybody inside. And I went home for quite some time. I would come to meetings. I'd sit right there where Lisa is. And never say a word. Nobody, I don't even think they knew my name at first. But I'd come. And I would sit there every day. I didn't plan on something to make me keep coming back. And I was in and out for a few more years. But relationships. I didn't know how to have them. I had victims and hostages. And I don't know who was dumber. Me or them. Because they never would leave. I would get them and use them. Now go. But you wouldn't get them to leave. And time. And I continued to drink. I hit my last bottom when they found me on the side of 285. Abused. And in a diabetic coma. And the little woman in their face. Tell me. Oh, he found a dead body. So they put me back together. Once again. And something had changed in that. Because after that, I knew I didn't want to live like that no more. Put my things back together once again. Put myself in detox. Went into a halfway house. And I knew it still had to change. I kept coming to meetings. I actually talked to people then. And I knew. All I knew. Is I didn't want to live like that no more. And so. I want to focus on what it's like today. Today. My life is pretty good. My friends that are here. There's something that never really happened. They've seen me go through some ups. Some downs. Pull me out of my stuck places. But they always got my back. And in between all the times that I come in and out. Back and forth. The thing that stuck in my head. Was keeping simple. Keeping shit simple. Was easy. It was like black or white to me. There wasn't no in between. Gray matter. Whatever y'all want to call it. And I got the tools of the program. And I started using them. I started using all the little suggestions everybody's had. Because everybody's got a suggestion. But then I had to realize. That suggestion ain't got nothing to do with me. That's the one you put Doug aside. Eventually you gonna use it. And got a sponsor. That I actually called this time. Or text. Or something. I got a network of friends now. That I can just call. And just say hey. And it's important. I got one that checks in with me almost every day. I don't know if it does our good. But it sure does me. And if anybody knows me. I don't talk much. Because I'm nervous. I'm scared. But I'm not angry. Anymore. I was like Frank said. I was angry for a very long time. Cat can tell you. She goes can I hug you one day. No. And she backed away. It's like. It's different. But it's a good different. Having people. To support you now. And see all the good you're doing. Gives you so much gratitude. Things happened in my life. And I went back to my three quarter house. Not because I drink. Because life gets really hard. And it's not. And therefore while I thought. Going backwards. Since I've been there. I finally looked at the whole picture. Not just the one thing. About going backwards. The whole picture. Was showing me. How much I've grown. What AA has taught me. Growing up. And changing. And how to love myself. Because at one time. About suicide was my answer. And I know I'm telling all over the place. But you wouldn't know that about me. If you actually ever talked to me. But today I come in here. I have a home group. That I'm really involved in. If there's usually a function. You will usually find me there. And today I have parents. I have work. I have my family. It actually talks to me now. I'm my AA family. It's always going to be there. For all you that want to know. How I came out of my little cage. That I was so wrapped up in. And so mad. And prayer works. And when I started. I didn't know how to pray. But in those days. It's God helping. And that's how I got to where I am today. I know I didn't talk the whole 45 minutes. Or whatever. But anybody knows me. I talk more now than I ever have. I want to thank Tim. For asking me. And thank you all for being here. Good job Amy. I love you.