Mike S. at the Luck of the Irish Roundup – 2005

About This Speaker Tape

A 1956 Volkswagen crawling through side streets with the lights off, hiding from a phantom police tail. Mike S. grew up in a New York family where the liquor business was a heritage of crime and gambling, a world where uncles bet they could chug whiskey and drop dead.

He didn't just drink; he drank in blackouts from the first sip, a "frenzy" that led to a life of wreckage, multiple marriages, and a deep, constant lonesomeness. He recalls the grit of a Las Vegas trip that ended with him waking up in his own vomit, a pathetic image of the "cool stud" he tried to be. After his wife and mother found Al-Anon, Mike finally hit a wall of incomprehensible demoralization.

He describes the raw shift from the chaos of speed and booze to the "higher degree of mental comfortableness" he saw in a sober butcher. Guided by a sponsor who forced him to mop floors and shake hands, he traded the bars for a quiet peace of mind.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Mike S. opens with a joke about his identity as an alcoholic and a dream involving St. Peter.
• 10:15 Discussion of childhood in an alcoholic home and the family's history in the illegal liquor business.
• 18:30 Description of early drug use, 'bennies,' and the paranoia of driving a 1956 Volkswagen.
• 26:45 The Las Vegas blackout and waking up in hotel vomit.
• 33:10 First AA meeting experience and the embarrassment of men holding hands and praying.
• 41:20 The 'Eskimo' intervention: Jim stops Mike from leaving the treatment center.
• 46:50 The 'Butcher' speaker and the realization of what serenity and peace of mind look like.
• 53:15 Sponsorship with Don H. and the requirement to mop floors and meet strangers.
• 1:02:10 The beach house craving and the prayer that ended the urge to drink.
• 1:12:40 The process of learning to serve his wife through small acts like making coffee.
• 1:22:15 Career transition from probation officer to District Attorney and the role of a Higher Power.
• 1:35:00 Reflection on his father's 16 years of sobriety and final thoughts on peace of mind.