Mike F. at the Freedom From Bondage Group of AA – 1st Annual Speaker Fest – 2023

About This Speaker Tape

Buffalo, New York, 1985. Mike F. is breaking into a house to find a gun, not for a heist, but to end his own life. He is a 25-year-old "bum" who has spent a decade attending meetings without ever hitting thirty days of sobriety. He describes himself as a "master case of manipulation" and a "punk" who stole the right to happiness from those he loved.

The turning point arrives not with a white light, but in the grit of a Texas apartment. His sponsor, Big John, gives him a brutal reality check: "If you want to get sober, I'll go to hell and back with you. If you want a drink, you can go to hell alone." Through the "golden thread" of a Higher Power, Mike moves from the darkness of a cave toward the sunlight. He trades stolen pants for tailored suits and a "debating society" ego for a life of service, eventually finding a lasting marriage and 38 years of sobriety.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Opening: Mike F. discusses the 'concern to crisis' loop and the 'divine order' mantra.
• 4:30 Family history: Growing up in an 'AA house' in Buffalo where police dropped off drunks on the sun porch.
• 8:15 Early struggles: First detox in Children's Hospital and the 'problem drinker' introduction at a meeting.
• 12:40 The bottom: A public humiliation at graduation where he is yelled at as 'Drugs!' and subsequent suicide attempts.
• 16:20 Turning point: A prayer for help while hiding in a house he broke into, followed by helping a woman onto a bus.
• 21:10 Sponsorship in Texas: Meeting Big J. and the 'go to hell alone' ultimatum.
• 26:45 The Big Book: Mike F.'s struggle to read and his study of the 'psychic change' in the Doctor's Opinion.
• 31:20 Marriage and family: Meeting Joy and the transition from a 'taker' to a husband and father.
• 35:10 Laughter: The story of the 'glistening' meatballs and Big J.'s encouragement.
• 40:15 Grief and Service: Using the 'golden thread' exercise with his dying brother and mother.
• 44:30 Closing: Defining a Higher Power as love and service as love in action.