Mike C. at the California FOTS Toronto Step 11 Speaker Series – 2022

Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you thank you got it go away. OK went away. My goodness, my goodness. All that for me T. You guys actually asked me back. You asked me to come back again. it's good to be here i'm powerless over alcohol and my name is mike d i do that out of respect for alcoholics anonymous in the 12 traditions singleness of purpose and um people love me people love me there's a couple people on here that i've seen from around the globe and um when they heard i was speaking they said i'll be there what a blessing What a blessing. That's if you're a real one. Now, if you are a poopy or a crumb snatcher, just hanging out with us is okay. But for those of you that are in the real category, the real ones, You suffer from body, mind and spirit, threefold disease, needing a power to give you the power to recreate yourself. Welcome. Welcome. I am when Ali Ali had asked me a while ago if I would speak again and I was under attack. See, life and physicalities and emotional disorder does not stop because you come to AA. Does not stop, because you do a piece of work and you got umpteen sponsees and you've got a sponsor and you got service commitments and you're this and you know that no he has an agenda and the agenda is to hook me up again to put me in captivity thank god there's a god Somebody, somebody didn't hear that. Thank God there's a God. Because if it wasn't, I wouldn't be here. Now, somebody in this meeting of 170 people don't agree with that. That's okay. That's okay. You don't have to. This isn't an individual recovery process labeled and dedicated to you as the individual in this room. You need to find out what you're doing here, if you haven't already. because you if you're in the category of whom this book was written for both books 12 and 12 and the big book of alcoholics anonymous there's only one solution if you'RE in the real category I call it the club in the club we got some poopies running around, killing people. Killing people with their middle of the road solution bullshit. Somebody's dying. Okay, so here we go. You asked, Ali, so here i am caught kovic the end of july this is the latest this is this is the latest it says in the 12 and 12 step 11 it says but certainly there wasn't any evidence of a god who knew or cared about human beings from the beginning of time there's been a god caught kovic came through kovik a month after coming through covid didn't feel right at all physically you know when you're not right so we're gonna we're going to take it a level deeper deeper you know when you are not right physically mentally and spiritually and if you in the club in the club and you get a red flag pertaining to that there's something that has to happen because your buddy is setting you up didn't feel right physically no energy couldn't breathe couldn't do anything well without being exhausted i knew something was wrong here's spiritual intuition he is god doing what we asked him to do in the third step i said this don't feel right man oh it's just the after effects of of kovig and it it lasts different lengths of time for different people you'll be all right just hang in there with it and i hung in there with it as long as i could and as opposed to going to my primary doctor who would have given me referrals to specialists and to get tests done i took myself to the emergency room and i told him i couldn't breathe it killed me to walk from the parking lot to this desk something's wrong i'm talking about evidence of a god they said well you have a seat mr dolphin and it was within minutes that they rushed me to the back and did a series of different tests and found out that on both of my lungs i had blood clots As a result of having COVID, they had traveled up my leg, up my thigh, through my middle and up to my lungs and lodged themselves there. And the doctor said, oh my God, he didn't know what he was saying. Oh my God. It's good you got here. This could have killed you. How long have you been dealing with this. I said about a month, not feeling like myself and knowing something was wrong. He said it's good you got here. He said we got some stuff we can do for it, but it's really good you've got here young man. something's watching over you now he had no idea of the connection and the relationship that i have with the power much greater than me that has enabled me to tap into spirit world living because here we go that that's club in the club stuff that's fourth dimension stuff that's that other place that we go once we've completed some initial groundwork some boot camp stuff some kindergarten stuff and we put our all into it and we're serious about something's got to happen here man you got to show up and show me that you real, that you're real. And I've been treated. I was treated for two days in the hospital and I'm currently still on blood thinners, but they say, just do what we tell you to do. You'll be okay. I said, thank you, father. i call my god father third step says he is your father you are his child so i've i've come to a place in my life in my recovery being a recovered person i tie everything to spirit world why because they tell me in the tenth step we have you have entered the world of the spirit so in the big book tying up page 45 says that means we have written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral And it means, of course, that we're going to talk about God. Somebody ain't buying this because what you've got has been enough. It suffices for the dilemma that you were in and are in as far as your recovery. But a dollar to a donut. Somebody on this meeting tonight, you need more. You're suffering. You haven't truly tapped in into the nucleus of what happens here in this place and the physicality of mission of meetings, which is taken over by spirit. The Spirit of God for the real one. they could never find a way out i didn't find a way out for 20 something years if not no more than that that was my active concrete pavement movement before that i dibbled and dabbled in a bunch of stuff finally got to a place where i knew something's wrong with this picture This wasn't the way you were brought up. This wasn' how you were meant to turn out, but it's interesting exactly what we're talking about. The evidence of a God was presented to me in my early pre adolescent days in a little church I grew up in in Harlem, New York. When my mother was an evangelist. My grandmother was a mother, and my godmother was pastor of that church. They infused and tapped into me spiritual God knowingness. And I believe today they knew exactly what they were doing. They didn't know if I would accept it and move into it as a way of life, which I didn't. But they knew if we could just get this into him to some degree, that sooner or later when it came pushed to shove, he would relate back to what was given him. and he'll relate back to what he experienced and what he saw in this edifice and be willing to believe that if there was a God that did it for us, he'll do it for him. Thus the journey has continued. I had a, okay, I'm going to go there. It might offend some people, but i'm sorry um i had a prophet tell me the other night he said you got a book in you he said, you got to book in back from those days in richardson memorial with luanna that was my godmother he said you got book in and you need to bring it to surface and give it to the world And it was only confirmation for me, because I already have an autobiography that's audio that needs to be transformed into paperback, which I need to take the steps to do it. Confirmation. So I get to see the evidence of God, the power of God in a bunch of stuff. That's if you're in the club in the Club. If you're not in the club in The Club, you don't pay it no mind. You just think it's everyday living. You don't tap into the nucleus of what happens here. the healing that happens here as a result of witnessing the experiences outside of you and dealing with you, you don't tap into that stuff. You just be a witness. You don't realize that that connection and that partnership, coupleship with that God is never ending he's going to continue to keep you in this physical form for the rest of your days and what he will do is alleviate you from the domestication that has been oppressed upon you by your family, by society, by churches, by institutions. He will give you the power to grow into who you are to be. And when that begins to happen, you'll know automatically what to do. the intuition go to the hospital tell them what's wrong with you that was spirit sent i'm convinced of that there's no wiggle room in this for me today but i've also gotten the opportunity to go back through my life and see all the near-death experiences that that I had that didn't end up in death, that proved to be as a result of moving through the 12 steps of recovery. They process a recovery that proved to be evidence of a God in my life from somewhere around two years old when I had pneumonia and they thought I was gonna die. And they took me to the hospital and they needed all types of, all kinds of blood for me in order for me to live. I was on death's bed like I was a few months ago. And God showed up, evidence of God. Family members rushed to that hospital. The love poured out. two years old evidence of god i was revived and i began to live a life of fulfillment i've moved from a life of wondering to a life for fulfillment i don't wonder for very long what's going on in the moment anymore because i know what to do If I don't understand, which I still have days of not understanding, days, minutes, hours, I know what to do. March 9th, 1987, coming up on 36 years, does not exempt me from the unmanageability of my life. God still needs to show up for me the same way he did in those early days of my recovery. I thought about all the street stuff that happened to me. Teresa talked a little bit, we from the same place, Harlem, New York. Dangerous place to grow up in. Late 60s, early 70s. i wedged and forged a guy called mr hunt 12th street to live in that darkness and that chaos those skyscrapers and concrete and and and tar pavements i forged him to be able to walk and stand against anything And I survived what I got the opportunity to look back and see all the life threatening experiences that I had, and come to a realization that only a God brought me through that evidence of God. That night I snuck over from Brooklyn, because what they were what they was selling in Brooklyn was bunk and I wanted some good stuff. So I snook over to Harlem to get some good stuff. But I was sneaking because I had contracts on my life, too as a matter of fact. was up on the roof and the roof door opened and alfred opened the roof door with a pistol cocked and put it to my head alfred was a hitman from the neighborhood knew him grew up with him knew what he did knew who he worked for knew what had done he didn't pull the trigger that night instead evidence of a god he took me to big jimmy who was his boss and jimny said to me oh so you the guy we've been looking for he said what's your name and i told him my name i said my name is mike dolphin he said dolphin and he said, I went to school with a dolphin, Bred. They called my oldest brother Bred, B-R-E-A-D. Bred means money in street slang. Oh, you Bred's brother, huh? I said, yeah, I'm his youngest brother. He said, we went to the school together. Know him well, call him on the phone. evidence of a god he called my brother and said we got your little brother down here and he owes us a bunch of money but because he's your brother because he is your brother we are not going to do anything to him and i'm letting you know we're gonna work out some arrangements and that's based on the relationship that we've had growing up together the evidence of a god that was a god interaction that was god stepping in i owe dope dealers money the same way kenny bione did caught him one night and threw him off a five-story tenement building splashed into the middle of the street why didn't that happen to you mike all this comes as a result of moving through a process of recovery you begin to wake up and you begin to see the evidence of god you on the streets mike but you were never truly homeless you had family members if they did no more than let you sleep on the couch you had somewhere to sleep even though you had to leave in the mornings somebody in here tonight you're a real one just like me you got evidence of god in your life that you haven't even tapped into yet wardron community bully block bully walking down the middle of the street somebody walked up to him and blew his head off with a shotgun in the middle of the street could have happened to me i had numerous altercations out there in concrete and pavement evidence of what happens here that has probably been happening all your life and here you sit taking it for granted Why taking it for granted because you might not have a sponsor. Something horrific could be going on in your life, and you've made a decision I can't tell them that I can become that vulnerable and that naked. What will they think about me. Will they still love me will they still want me around. I'm so grateful that my angels God sent me angel, because they were properly armed with facts about themselves. were not ordinary men. They had been touched by the hand of God to give a message of depth and weight that stuck to your bones like oatmeal. My grandmother used to make us eat oatmeal in the winter months before we went to school in those streets of Harlem, New York so we wouldn't get cold. It would keep us warm. That's the information that was passed on to me. that stuck to my bones and when it was passed on it made perfect sense i could say that's me thank you i felt like that thank you i've thought like that thank you I've lived like that, thank you. Thank you for the wake-up call somebody's suffering the night and you just need to tap in a little bit deeper to the evidence of a god working in your life because there's a bunch of stuff that's probably going on that ain't got nothing to do with you or nothing outside of you that's how i firm up that foundation when miracles happen Miracles do happen, you know. We do get the opportunity to live, breathe and be in this physical casing and be at perfect peace and have a hold on serenity. in this physical casing we might not be able to keep it but my god we get glimpses of it and we get to live in it for periods of time but again the big book gives us everything that we need tells us to continue to watch for selfishness dishonesty resentment and fear we've done all kinds of work some of y'all been around here as long as i have some of you all have done as much work if not more than i have you have a recovered life that is centered in that being recovered but life still shows up for you put that foundation those teachings that bedrock that i must stand on in order to stay recovered and in staying recovered i get the blessing to help god's people i get a blessing to be an instrument and a vessel that god uses and flows through to touch the world my god my god and the only way that has happened is the reality and the understanding and the connection with god working in my life could not have happened on my terms i lived on my turns for some 30 something years my terms i was the master of my ship like that that's that saying goes the master or my ship the whatever of my destiny well if that had been fulfilled i sure wouldn't be here with you guys tonight i don't know where i'd be as a result of surrender surrender finishing up the power of now with one of my guys thank you stitch for showing up and we read about surrender today surrender i needed to hear it see god gives you exactly what you need in order to breathe sometime for another moment Forget about minutes and hours and days for the moment, because life attacks. I laid in that hospital, and I said my God, I'm on my deathbed. As a result of what attacked me, I could be dead but thank you Father for showing up. thank you for intuitively giving me direction and what to do and not wanting to fight it wanting to align myself with it wanting to follow the direction that's why it's so important to follow directions of your sponsor not the suggestions the directions because god is going to show up one day and give you a direction that will be about you saving your life god don't come down and tap people with magic wands and sprinkle fairy dust he intuitively gives you what you need to live in essence he gives you the power to recreate your life He gave me the power to continue with living life and recreating it on another level to have another story to tell about the power of God and what happens in the nucleus of these 12-step programs. We got a bunch of fringe benefits, but what's really going on here? Why? Why did they create this years ago was reading with another one of my guys in the 12 and 12 in tradition 10 I think it was or 11 talked about the Washingtonians who had the primary purpose, but they deviated. There's no deviation here. The divine intervention of a power greater than themselves inspire the writing of the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous inspired the writings of the 12 and 12. No wiggle room there, there had to be a God that did it. had to be why because it's touched people all over the world and i don't know how many countries and how many different languages tap in tap in tap in 73 years old coming up on 74 36 years of being recovered and i've made a decision which i've stayed away from for not while there's three operations that i have to have for quality of life and i stayed away form them because i didn't want them cutting on me again i've had one a hip replacement but i need two knees and i need my other hip done and i was rambunctious about them taking me under the knife again well as a result of that i paid a physical price and it's time i surrender so the beginning of beginning of the year i begin a series of three operations why for quality of life why because god wants me here he wants me he's given me purpose and meaning he's giving me an assignment he uses me as an instrument in a vessel for somebody there's a bunch of people on here that this talk is probably just going over your head because that's not where you're at but a dollar to a donut somebody's hearing me somebody's here in me i've been awakened to the power of god and what that power does in human lives and i need to i have to i want to be anchored in evidence that god has not left me he will never leave me because in this human casing i have moments of doubt my agnostic temperament creeps in every now and then how could god fix this what is this about my god i've done everything you've asked me why ain't this happen what because you done put on the god suit mike let it go you ain't running nothing you ain'T in charge of nothing your life is a blessing whatever is in the moment is exactly the way it's supposed to be acceptance and move from there and i look up and everything that i need i'm giving five minutes i knew it was coming i knew it i knew it okay no i don't need to make it bigger so i want to admonish you guys and you women i used to call women guys too right that's the new york thing until that slapped me upside the head one day they ain't guys might they women they're females they are completely different from you in numerous ways stop it the evidence of god their children of god too might treat them that way horrific horrific man oh man man oh man i am so blessed ali i love you man teresa i love you saw a couple others on here i don't know how many others are on here i know stitch is on here and i know john john is on here and i don' t know who else is on here that i sent your flyer to but i want to let you guys know that i love you i need to tell you that now because i might not get another chance we don't know what tomorrow may bring those blood clots crept on crept up on me and could have taken me out but they didn't And I know why they didn't, because it was with reason and purpose to have something else to tell you guys about the evidence of a God. Was in that hospital and the nurse said, man, she said people are in and out of here dying from COVID and dying from blood clots. And I didn't. So for any of you, Any of you that are wondering what's going on. Stop wondering what is going on and tap in. Ask the question. Ask the God of your understanding, what's going on here? Why, why am I here. Probably because there's more teaching that needs to be done. Anybody that comes into my life, comes into My Life as a teacher with lessons. long as i stay open to the lessons as long as I stay willing that's something else I covered today with another one of my sponsors that's in step two willingness willing to believe watch God work and watch in the evidence that he presents before you you. It becomes concrete fact that he is and he'll continue to be there for you. God bless you tonight. Thank you so much. I enjoyed it as usual. Thanks for letting me share. God bless. Thank you.