Meg M. – 12 Traditions – Not the NA Sponsor Poster Child – 2014

This is 12 Traditions of N.A. We keep what we have only with vigilance, and just as freedom for the individual comes from the 12 steps, so freedom for the group springs from our traditions. As long as the ties that bind us together are stronger than those that would tear us apart, all will be well. One, our common welfare should come first. Personal recovery depends on N.A. unity. Two, for our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority, loving God as he may express himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants. They do not govern. Three, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using. Four, each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or N.A. as a whole. Five, each group has but one primary purpose, to carry the message to the addict who still suffers. Six, an N.A. group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the N.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise. Less problems of money, property, or prestige diverts from our primary purpose. Seven, every N.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. Eight, narcotics should not be used. Nine, narcotics should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers. Nine, N.A. as such ought never be organized, but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve. Ten, narcotics anonymous has no opinion on outside issues. Hence, the N.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy. Eleven, our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion. We need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films. Twelve, anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our communities. We need to be able to recognize our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities. Understanding these traditions comes slowly over a period of time. We pick up information as we talk to members and visit various groups. It usually isn't until we get involved with service that someone points out that personal recovery depends on N.A. unity. And that unity depends on how well we follow our traditions. The twelve traditions of N.A. are not negotiable. They are the guidelines that keep our fellowship alive and free. By following these guidelines in our dealings with others and society at large, we avoid many problems. That is not to say that our traditions eliminate all problems. We still have to face difficulties as they arise. Communication problems, differences of opinion, internal controversies and troubles with individuals and groups outside the fellowship. However, when we apply these principles, we avoid some of the pitfalls. Many of our problems are like those that our predecessors had to face. Their hard-won experience gave birth to the traditions, and our own experience has shown that these principles are just as valid today as they were when these traditions were formulated. Our traditions protect us from the internal and external forces that could destroy us. They are truly the ties that bind us together. It is only through understanding and application that they work. Thanks for having us. Thanks for having us. The format of this workshop is to have two addicts share their experience, strength and hope on the topic. They will each share for about 20 minutes. The floor will then be open for sharing. The first speaker is from the South Shore area, and that is Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Meg M. Text on screen Thank you for your ideas, and Friday, June 19, 21st being the only?" Charlie verschaulyremmitsandimolajabunky said... That too. When I came to my first convention, I had right around 30 days clean. And I saw the people up at the podium speaking. And I thought, I could never do that. Through the grace of my higher power and through you people, here I am today. I thank you for that. Sponsorship to me is a very, very important part of my recovery. My first sponsor is sitting in this room today. And if it weren't for her, I would not be here today. She helped me gain belief in myself, belief in my higher power, and belief in you people. Jamie, I love you. Our literature says that in It Works How and Why, it is through sharing with each other that we find our own answers, our own higher power, and our own path of recovery. In the path of active addiction, the only way I would like you is if you had something I wanted. The only way I've come to like you people in this fellowship is, again, because you have something I want. And that is the ability to say, I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Stay clean one day at a time. I did not trust women when I came into this fellowship because you would take from me what I prized the most. Usually it was a man. Then it got to be anything because I lost more and more the longer and longer I used. So when I got here, I did not trust you women. I did not trust a whole lot of men. But I trusted the men more than I trusted the women because at least I trusted you women. At least I could count them using my feminine wiles. Through sponsorship, I have come to know that I can trust women. I can learn how to love women and learn how to be the woman I want to be through their guidance, through their love, and through their understanding. I've got the book, It Works Out Why, up here. And every single step I take, I'm going to be able to do it. Every single step says in here how important it is to work that particular step with your sponsor. Because I know from experience when I try to work these steps on my own, I can justify and rationalize them to mean anything I want. So I go to the literature like hopefully most of us do. And it says by following the suggestions of our sponsor, instead of only our own ideas, we learn the principles. We learn the principles of open-mindedness and willingness. Our sponsor will help us work the steps of recovery. A sponsor to me was somebody that just could be a guide through the steps. Somebody that I could call and say, okay, I'm done with my step. Did I do it right? I wanted validation. I wanted to know that I was on the right track. I didn't want to take her suggestions on anything but the steps. And I apologize for that. Today I have a very good friendship with my first sponsor. I have since found another sponsor. And she is also a blessing in my life and I love her dearly. We don't always see eye to eye, but I do listen to what she says and I learned how to do that by my mistake not listening to my first one. I am also a sponsor. I have had in the three years that I've been here, I have had about 35 sponsees. I don't see most of them today because they made the decision to either seek a new sponsor or to seek a new level of a bottom. I pray for those women on a daily basis. The women that I have in my life today help me live one day at a time. I am in an area in my recovery as to where with my sponsees, they seem to be a little bit more comfortable. I have a lot of them. My sponsees, they seem to have all caught up to where I am at. And I really don't know what I am doing. So I seek the suggestions and the strength of other women that have more time than me and more recovery. Just recently here I went through a, I call it a mini crisis, although it was very heart wrenching. My sponsees with the most clean time, we had a little, argument, disagreement, misunderstanding, lack of communication, and I almost lost two of my sponsees due to my own inability to stand up for what I believe in. And I found when I try to please everybody, I can't please anybody. I have since then made amends to my sponsees, to my higher power, and to myself. And through this wonderful thing we call sponsorship, I know that it's okay for me. It's okay for me to make mistakes. I do not have to be the N.A. sponsor poster child, let alone the N.A. poster child. I try real hard, but it's okay for me to make mistakes as long as I learn from them. And I learn not to repeat those mistakes. The women in this fellowship mean more to me than, sometimes than I do. They mean more to me than I do sometimes. They teach me how to love myself, they teach me how to love them with their character defects, with their inability to get honest with themselves first, others. But then when they do get honest, they teach me how to be even more honest. As a sponsor, I am not out to make you do what I think you should do. I'm not out to make you believe what I think you should believe. I'm not out to make you do anything that you're not willing or incapable of doing. As a sponsor, I'm here to love you with all my heart unconditionally. As a sponsor, I'm here to guide you through the steps to the best of my ability. As a sponsor, I'm here to tell you, you might want to take a look at that. And then I talk to my sponsor and I hear the same things. Sponsorship is an integral part of this program because like I said, we can justify and rationalize anything. And I need somebody that I trust enough with those six secrets that the Just for Today talks about on February 25th. Those six secrets I could not tell all of you, but I could tell one of you. I learned how to trust myself through learning how to trust someone else. I get that in sponsorship. I learned how to love myself through learning how to love someone else. I also get that through sponsorship. I learned how to be a better friend through sponsorship. I asked myself a question a few weeks back, what are my motives when I take on a sponsee? Not sure I really liked my answer. What were my motives? One motive was to be the NA sponsor poster child. Number two was to help that woman in her recovery to the best of my ability. Number three was hopefully to develop a friendship with that woman in recovery. I don't know that all my motives are pure, but again, I talk to my sponsor about it and she guides me and she guides me well. If it wasn't for sponsorship in this program, I don't think anybody, any of us, would be able to do it. I'm not sure I would be able to do it. I'm not sure I would be able to do it. I'm not sure I would be able to do it. I'm not sure I would be able to do it. I'm not sure I would be able to do it. I'm not sure I would be able to do it. I know I can use any reason to walk back out that door. I know I can use any reason to walk back out that door. Like I said I did not trust you women because I did not trust myself. Today I do. Today I also love myself. Learning on a continual basis, I talk to people in recovery every single day. Usually it's one or more of my sponsees... It's because... It's because of this fellow here. fellowship, I've started going to college, and I've had to cut down on my meeting attendance, but I still contact other addicts every single day, because without this program, I will die, and I do not want to do that today. That wasn't true quite a few years ago, but today I do not want to die. My sponsors, I went through a difficulty in my relationship a few weeks back, and I didn't know what to do, and of course I called my sponsor. What should I do? I'm in pain. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to feel. I don't know what to think. I just want to give up. I want to stop. I'm scared. I'm hurt. I don't know what to do. My sponsor gave me a really great suggestion. She said, if this was not happening in your life right now, what would you be doing? I told her what I would be doing. She goes, then do it. I didn't know that. I have to hear these things from my sponsor so I know what to do, so when the women that I sponsor come to me, I've got a suggestion, or we can look in the book and find it together. Like I said, I'm at a place I've never been before, and yeah, I'm scared, but I'm also excited because it's a path that we can take together. This is a journey that I cannot take alone. I need the lights that guide me on this path, and the lights are through sponsorship. I'm in a place where I can talk to other recovering addicts, and through my higher power and through this literature. Every step is a step that I've never taken before. Even if I've worked it before, I've never taken it before because this is the first time I'm working this step for the second time. I am so grateful that this fellowship exists in the form it does. I am so grateful that we have what is the Narcotics Anonymous program. I have sponsored people with different sexual preferences. I have sponsored people of different races and different religious beliefs. It doesn't matter. An addict is an addict. And if there's anything I can do or say that can help you, it works. And if there's anything you can say or do that will help me, I have the ability to ask today. Because first, I had to ask my sponsor because I was too afraid to ask you. But I can ask today. Recently, I've asked my closest people to get off my bandwagon and be my friend. When I'm messing up, when I'm not doing the right thing, when I'm acting out on this character defects, tell me. I can't call all those people sponsors, but I can call them friends and I'm grateful for that. I have one sponsor. My sponsor is a female. She works the Narcotics Anonymous program. She has a sponsor. That is female. She has a sponsor. That is female. She has a sponsor. That is female. That works the Narcotics Anonymous program. There are men that I talk to in this fellowship to give me that perspective because I need to know I'm in a relationship. I don't know how to interpret men, Mars, Venus, whatever. I don't know. I didn't read the book. I've got a book that I can read that'll help me out and I've got friends that'll help me out too. When I want to work the steps, I talk to my sponsor. I get guidance. I say, am I doing this right? Is this the right concept? Do I have it right? She tells me where I need to go, what I need to look at, who I need to talk to. My sponsor does not have all the answers. My sponsor is not on a pedestal. My sponsor stands beside me and she also stands behind me. She supports me no matter what decision I make. She trusts me to know to come to her when I'm hurting, to come to her when I don't know. She's always right. Just like my mom. She's always right, but I didn't believe that until I was 25. I'm coming to find out that I talk a lot like my mom. I'm starting to talk a lot like my sponsor. I think that's a good thing. We've developed a very close relationship and we've developed a very close friendship. I don't always see her. I don't always talk to her, but I know I can hear her. I know I can hear her in my head when I have that dilemma and I can't get a hold of somebody. What would my sponsor say? And then I get the answer. Do the right thing. That's what I'm taught in this fellowship. Do the right thing. Get a sponsor. Work the steps with your sponsor. Call your sponsor when you're having problems. Call your sponsor when you're feeling good. I called my sponsor just to check in, let her know how it's going. She had a problem she needed to talk about. I actually had the ability to help my sponsor. Judy, I love you and I thank you. Jamie, I love you and I thank you. Alicia, I love you and I thank you. Ellen, Shante, Kim, and Sherry, I love you all. You now knowris есть Hernandez and I love you. I don't really relate toonnen hypersensitivity, so I don't mind you. I do understand that yourはは I think you're screwed about it. That's the same problem we're kind of trying toточ, it's not the same problem we were trying stuff. You know, I don't really just like it. Are you mom? Do you know the part? No. Oh... to underzing good hardship yeah to minimalism. . . . . . . . I think was the best I've meet her for who knows? have is John H. Wow how am I gonna follow that? I don't think that's gonna be a problem. My name is John and I'm an addict. And my sponsor taught me to say that and he taught me to say a lot of other things. I've had two sponsors while I've been in recovery and that's real important to say. I'd like to be that perfect person who recovered and got clean the first time and stayed clean and got a sponsor and did everything right but that's that's just so not true. Like Meg I'm just real nervous up here and I know that God's gonna take over in a minute and everything's gonna be okay. My sponsor also taught me that. One of the first and most important things that my sponsor taught me was how to be a member of Narcotics Anonymous. When I first cleaned up I had gotten I was in the middle of getting to the hospital. I was in there for the first time with the short-term drug. I was in there for the first time with the short-term drug. I was in there for the first time with the divorce and didn't know which way to turn and I was a single father and I met this man who talked to me, who showed me what it's like to just sit still and listen to other people and how to share and how to love. And then I asked him what he thought about sponsorship and he said, it's a good thing. And he turned around and walked away. And I had to chase him down and I finally asked him if he would be my sponsor and that was a turning point in my life and in my recovery. And my sponsor goes straight to the literature all the time. He has started and participates in my home group, which is a literature meeting. Um. My sponsor has a sponsor who has a sponsor who has a sponsor who are all men and are in Narcotics Anonymous. Every year our sponsorship family gets together and I can see plenty of you out there and we have a sponsorship retreat and we go camp out every year. And every year in the mail I get a list of about thirty-five men in the program that I can call at any given time and who know me, who have seen me, who have heard me and who have loved me in this fellowship and brought me up to be what I hope to be the qualified member of Narcotics Anonymous. It gives me enough experience to help other men come up in the fellowship. And it's been through that that uh, uh, I have felt, I have felt very honored to be sponsored by the program. I really don't care for the word sponsee because it seems like a child term. And uh, one thing I'm not is I'm not a dad. You know, these are, I have to tell myself that I can't tell these men what to do. They're grown men. And uh, and all I can do is be there for them when they're happy, be there for them when they're sad, listen to them and love them. And hopefully. That I can pass on some of the things to them that was passed on to me from my sponsor. And uh, one of the most important things I saw my sponsor do was cry. And uh, I have a hard time with not crying. You know, real men in Narcotics Anonymous cry. Um, and it's probably the most freeing thing that I've ever done in my life. I probably cry once a week. And if it's at a meeting, it's at a meeting. If it's not, it's not. It's with my wife. It's with my sponsor. It's with the men in the program that I sponsor. And if I can pass that feeling of what it feels like to let go of my emotions. And uh, if I can pass that on to another man, then I'm doing something. You know. And uh. Um. Um. Um. To sit there and talk with a man that I sponsor in Narcotics Anonymous, it has been, I did it this morning two times. And it, every time, you know, I don't care if we're working a step or we're just sitting there talking about the weather, talking about motorcycles, talking about whatever we're talking about. I learned something. Um. I go through that first step. I go through that second step. It doesn't matter. I learned something. I learned something from you. And I learned to see things in the way that you see them. I didn't have a problem with God when I first walked in these doors. Um. And I've since learned that a lot of uh, a lot of men come in these rooms having a problem and not relating to uh, a higher power. And I know. I know. Um. I know. Um. I knew that I was a good person. I knew that I was a good person. I knew that I had a great life, that I had just the ultimate experience when I first cleaned up. And I didn't have to place, I didn't have to place that higher power on the group. And I didn't have to place that higher power status on my sponsor. And I didn't have to place, you know, I had God firmly in place. And I was talking with another addict. And he talked about um, being real upset with God. Um. And I saw it for the first time, and I felt that pain. And I also feel that pain when I talk with my wife about this subject. And it was real, just it was so enlightening, I couldn't believe it. I got to see firsthand what it's like not to have that faith that I have, and that's just really disturbing. My faith in a higher power, my faith in a greater power, my faith in a greater power has been on my sponsor for a while. And within the last year, I grew up in Narcotics Anonymous. I stopped physically and verbally and emotionally abusing my wife due to the direct help of my sponsor. I grew up with my children, and I learned how to be a father. And I grew up, and I think this is the most important, to stand beside. My sponsor, and be able to be a sponsor, just to another man in the program, that I could, hopefully, that I could impart some of the knowledge that I've gained in Narcotics Anonymous. And, you know, it's not about using. I have a drug problem, but it's not about using. It is about being three years clean, and not going to meetings, not calling my sponsor, not going to my sponsorship family camp out for the first time in years, and not participating in Narcotics Anonymous, and about losing my mind, and going crazy, and seeing what it's like to live in active addiction without the drugs. And that's what sponsorship has been all about for me. And I heard Tyrone share it, and I heard the afternoon service, and I heard the speaker today share it. And I'm glad I didn't have to wait until five years clean to experience that. I know what it feels like to be sponsorless, without a home group, without a meeting, without any of the tools that Narcotics Anonymous gave me, and wonder how I got to where I am. And I never want to feel that way again. My sponsor stood by and let me do that. And he told me afterwards, that he prayed to God that I would come back and talk to him. And I did. And I had to do it in a moment where I was either going to use or kill myself. And that's what it's about today. It's no longer about the drugs, you know. I have a drug problem. But it's no longer about the drugs. It's about keeping my sanity, and keeping my loving wife, and seeing my children at the end of the day, and tucking them into bed, or spanking them, or whatever I got to do to them. And, uh, and, and seeing life that way. And I think that, uh, without the, without that direction, I wouldn't be the man I am today. And I'd just really like to thank all the men in the fellowship for being who you are, and giving me the stuff I got today. Because without you, I wouldn't be here. When I first came in the fellowship, I didn't want to be around any men. I was raised around women, from a single mother, to a sister, to, you know, dad split, my brothers have died, and, uh, I didn't, I didn't know what it was like to be about, around a man in the program. And, the only man that I was around in the program was my sponsor. And he taught me, and he told me, you need to get with men in the fellowship. Stop hanging around with women. You need to get with men in the fellowship. And that was, that was a direct, that was a direct sponsor order, if you want to put it that way. You know, and, uh, there's not too many suggestions. You know, when it comes down to live or die, I don't see a suggestion in there anywhere. And, uh, he told me I had to get with men in the fellowship. I got married. And I still wanted to play the field in my little way. I wanted to be around women. And that was the worst period of my life. The first year of my marriage was horrible, because I made it that way. And, uh, my sponsor said, my sponsor told me that. And he told me what I had to do. And I didn't follow that suggestion. And it got worse and it got worse until at three years clean I wanted to die. And then I started reversing that. And I started hanging with men in the fellowship. No matter how much it hurt, no matter how much I was embarrassed, no matter what I thought I didn't have that equaled up to the rest of you, I did it. And it, and, and that's, that's what it was all about. And, you know, I have a long way to go. There's still a lot of things I have to learn about being a sponsor, about being a husband, and about being a man in the, in the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous. And, uh, there's one section in the text, it talks about, in, uh, what can I do? And it talks about sponsorship being a two-way street. And my sponsor's told me that many times. And I never felt what it, what it was like until just a couple days ago, talking to a man that I sponsor in the program. To have a man that, that is just coming into the fellowship and, and who's feeling all that pain can, can give me the urgency to do what I need to do to stay clean. And it talks about if you don't have a sponsor to place that sponsorship on the therapeutic value of one addict helping another in a meeting. You know, that's where I got mine for the longest time until I found out, found out that I had enough, uh, of what it takes to, to walk up to another man and feel equal and ask him for help. And feel equal and ask him to, you know, be my sponsor. And, uh, if you don't have a sponsor, get one. And if you're a man, get a man in the fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous. Make sure he's grounded in the fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous. And I think that's all I got. Thank you for listening to me share this afternoon. Thank you, Dr. Harrell. Thank you, Jen, for sharing with us. Um, that leaves the podium open for anybody who wants to, uh, share. So... Thank you, Felicia. Thank you. Hi, family. I'm an addict named David. Hey. Real grateful to be in another ISMAC clean. You know, I wasn't gonna come up here, but Adria pushed me this way, so I guess I was supposed to get here. You know, I came to these rooms through grace twelve years ago, twelve years ago when I was in my first rehab and narcotics anonymous found me there with an H&I subcommittee and I'm eternally grateful for that some of the members of that committee one of which is still clean and still doing H&I a couple of other members are back out there but anyway one of the things they told me was to get a sponsor the treatment center was telling me to get a sponsor they were pointing me at two fellowships but they were telling me to get a sponsor and me being one of those intelligent people you know I could read and I could figure out what those steps meant it just didn't apply to me because I wasn't like you guys and as a result of that I bounced in and out of these rooms for a few months until I figured out I needed to try something different you know like maybe get a sponsor because they were telling me a sponsor was the guide in the step you know like maybe get a sponsor because they were telling me a sponsor was the guide in the step so I got a sponsor that had an NA sponsor and this guy was a spiritual little fellow he lied about everything but he had a glow about him you know he had that aura he didn't lie about recovery and he didn't lie to me and I asked him to be my sponsor and he said call me tomorrow why just call me tomorrow and it's like the next day I called him and I found out later on that he had to kind of ask his sponsor and it was like I do that thing to people today myself but uh one of the things he told me was don't use no matter what call me before you use seems simple enough but I couldn't do either one and I had a history of seven years with that man and I wish I could tell you I had 12 years clean today but I don't the last time I was in my third rehab and another HNI committee was there on the very night I went in my fear was realized because I wasn't supposed to be in a rehab I was supposed to be a mental unit and God had put two angels in my life as barmaids and they took me to what I thought was a the sixth floor of the hospital which was the psych unit and the I got off the elevator and it said first step recovery you know I started crying because I knew I was home I knew the war was over and that night here was HNI and I'm reading why are we here without the reading you know it was tough using with recovery in your heart in your head the drugs weren't working it's real obvious why suicide became my way out and like I say my God intervened and I. I asked one of the committee members who I had taken to a state convention a year before to call my sponsor and he did the next day my sponsor was there and I asked him if he would still sponsor me he said he's letting you know tomorrow and what I found out was he had to ask his sponsor a sponsor sponsor and other addicts what the hell he was going to do with me and he basically told me one of good sponsor of things because I'd been around the fellowship for a few years by then. And he told me, he said, you're not a newcomer. Don't try to act like a newcomer. You know what to do to stay clean and you know what got you out the door before. And you don't know how many times in my recovery I have found myself at the edge of the cliff where I was going to either jump or work a program. And I can tell you today, I've chosen to work a program every time and run from that cliff. Run to a meeting, hit my knees and pray, call somebody, call somebody I don't like. You know, because they might tell me, yeah, go ahead and use it. I'll be here if you make it back. You know, that's happened to me. And resentment will help you stay here sometimes. And you know, I worked the first five steps with that sponsor. And I had some shit in my fourth step that nobody knew but me. And my HP. And it was like, that was the first things I had down. It only took me about four years to work that step. Three and a half, I don't remember. But when I shared that with my sponsor, it was like I achieved that freedom I heard you all talking about. The freedom from the past. The boogaboos. The shit up here, you know. And I'm eternally grateful to that man. At the time, he had a life. He had a job, a wife. Three kids and a dog. And he was drifting away from the fellowship. So I changed sponsors. And I got somebody in the middle of the boat. I got somebody who was involved with service and had that glow. Had what I wanted. And I worked the other seven steps with that man. I just finished my twelfth step with him last month. And he told me he was proud of me. How do you feel? I was proud of me too. And it's kind of funny. In the last year, I've gone from one sponsee, who happens to be black. You know, we told her the first year that that couldn't happen, you know. Some of the racism issues in our rooms. And all of a sudden, I've got five sponsees. It's like they must see a glow or something. And it's like they asked me to sponsor them. I tell them, call me tomorrow. They're doing it. They're doing it. Because it's like, I want to see if you want what we have to offer. Are you willing just to pick up that phone and call? You know? I got one that's a little mop top. I'm going like, look at that hair. You know, I told my old sponsor that. He said, have you looked in a mirror lately? And it's like, just like I got one that's been on the fourth step forever. I talked to my old sponsor. I said, I'm ready to fire his ass. And that was a couple of years ago. He said, I didn't fire you. You know, I didn't fire you. It's like, damn. We're each other's eyes and ears. You know, but it works better to have that sponsor. The guide in the steps. The one to call whether you're feeling good or bad. Because sometimes when you're checking in, they might be in a world of shit. And they just need to hear your little ray of sunshine. Your achievement. Got a new car. Got a raise. Got this. Got that. And that's where the two-way street comes in. You know, I used to be in a relationship. And it was like I wasn't using my sponsor much. And she had four years clean more than me. It was working pretty decent program. And she used to tell me, you act like you're sleeping with your sponsor. I was trying to. And I suffered some consequences there. And I'm grateful to have had that woman in my life. You know, I learned some valuable lessons about relationships. And I learned a lot about the disease and other things. It's kind of funny. My sponsor, old sponsor one time, came to me for advice about relationships. He was separated from his mate and came to me for advice. And I think I might have been with or without that mate at the time. I'm going like, all I can tell you is how it don't work. He said, yeah, well, evidently I need to hear it. And again, that's the two-way street. Yeah. Sponsorship is a very valuable tool in this recovery process. It's the eyes and ears of the steps. Let us know if we got a grasp of that step and the spiritual principles therein. And I'm a sponsor that will throw traditions out there with the people too because they were given to me. I had a sponsor from the old school. I'm an old school sponsor. You know, it's basically if I hear a bunch of bullshit, I might come up with work the steps or die, motherfucker. Just that simple. It was given to me. The first time I think I heard that was from a twelve-year-old at a function called the Ad Normal Weenie Jam. They were like, he listened to me for an hour, half hour, I don't know how long, and when I got done, he just said, you got a sponsor? I think I told him, yeah. He said, well, use him. And the rest that I just said and I thought I was looking at a midget. What I was looking at was another addict who had been through the horrors of addiction from early on. from early on. Like I heard one of our speakers talking about starting at six or two, whatever, and it's like, I feel like I'm going in circles now. I'm thankful for the speakers that spoke before me and the people that helped pave the way. I'm thankful for the two sponsors that helped me change my problem, which wasn't the four relationships before I got here and the bosses that were picking on me and the police officers that were pulling me over for no reason. You know, today I know that David's my problem and the steps are my solution, and the sponsor's the guy that checks me on how I'm at, where I'm at with it. I'm on step one today, and I'm debating on whether getting a new sponsor. It's like the one I got now is in love, and he's hard to reach, and it's a good time to change. I'm right on the first step, and I'm not going to change. I got a couple guys picked out that got that glow, you know? They got that knowledge, and I want what they had to offer, and I'm going to keep coming back. Thanks. I'm an addict called Derek. I just briefly want to share an experience that I had last summer because I haven't heard it today, and I don't know if you've heard it. I'm an addict called Derek. I don't hear it often enough, and some of you have heard it. I was working on eighth step last year, and I got stuck in these steps because I wasn't willing to make amends to myself because my fourth step was about me and self-centeredness, and what I realized after thinking about finding a new sponsor or a new home group or whatever was going through my head at the time was that I wasn't willing to be sponsored, and that was real important. I was going to be sponsored, and I was going to be sponsored, and that was really important for me to realize at that time. And members of my sponsor family said, look, Derek, you know you can call me any time, and I never thought of that. I have a sponsor, and that's the person that I work steps with, and I never really gave much merit to the idea that I could call any one of you. And so they opened up my eyes to that idea, and I got involved with a men's group that worked from the step study guide, and I began to get better because I got willing to be sponsored. So if you have a sponsor that's busy, if you have a sponsor that schedules conflict with yours and you're having difficulty getting with your sponsor and working steps be willing to be sponsored and you will find the help in narcotics anonymous that you need thanks that's all I got I am recovering addict whose problems can I have a sponsor who has saved my life more times than I can calm my fingers and toes and I love them dearly for it I've come to a point my program that wasn't்ладe almost finally come true is been this has been dedicated to hilarious just choose me zoals tackle fellowship. See I came to NA when I first decided to get clean but I think I heard too much truth and I want to consider myself an addict. Well, I'm tired of trying to feel different, trying to not be who I am. I wish the guy I wanted to ask to be my sponsor was here but I know where to find him. I'm finally home. I love you. Thank you guys. I'm Alicia and I am an addict. I'm grateful to be here today. I want to thank the two speakers that came up today. Thank you Meg, thank you John and everybody else that came up and shared. If that's all we want to close with a hug circle and reversion. We're all okay. Yeah. Oh yeah. . Badger or something! Oh you didn't mean it that. . I hope you didn't see the hugs on the floor. . Wake up! Just a moment of silence. God still suffers inside and outside these rooms. Followed by the reversion of the serenity. God grants us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. The world is coming back. The world is coming back. The world is going to live it. There you go, I heard that. Nice to meet you, my name is Carol. Good to know you. Nice to meet you. Turn over about. Hey. Right. You too. You guys are good. You guys are good. Nice to meet you. Hey. Hi. Nice to meet you. Thanks to crowd. Can we all take a photo together? With body parts. Can Marek wear? Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. That was great. That was great. Oh yeah, I'm Jamie. You're a Knox boy. Let me know if you're a Knox boy. That's Tim's brother as well. He's wearing the blue hat. What? He's the kid that's with Robin and... He's outside smoking. Is he? Did you ride that bike down here? No, I wanted to. It was killing me. I made a commitment to Britain to sit down and wheel. I got to sit on the side. Checking the weather channel. I put my shirt in the front. You went to my league on January and I told you to stick around. I'm going to Montana for two weeks in July. You can put that up with the black belt. You know those little baby things up there? The guy upstairs. He's talking to him. He's like, what's up? He was just coming by. He took my shirt, placed it down, he rolled it in the snowplow. He signed it. So now we can have it by ourselves. There you go. I have 100% I went down to where you were. It was awesome. Thanks again. It was good to talk to you. You're welcome. I'm going to see you all. See you. See you. These good guys. He's going to be a newspaper. He's got some cute clothes. I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that. He's very proud of me. I'm very proud of him. All right. Okay, man, I got to get ... Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you'd better bring ... Yeah. We're using it out there. But we'll bring it back in before you guys' meeting. Yeah. Right here. They wanted podium and mic out the dome, they told us. As long as you can put it back in here for the speaker meeting. No! You want to be difficult, so can I. I'm not trying to be difficult, but people tell me I am. I don't know where we're going. I'm going to move. In the 10 years I've been in here, I've went through some massive conventions. This is one of the easiest going. I like you guys. Thank you. It's a guy. It's a god. Everybody can come out of this workshop going, wow. All of them. I'm like.