Mary R. at the 2nd Great Plains Roundup – 1984

About This Speaker Tape

"I didn't get all I wanted, but I got all I could stand." Mary R. lived her early years as a feature dancer and a playgirl, moving from the nightclubs of San Francisco to a stock contract in Hollywood. She describes herself as "born scared," a people-pleaser who wore masks to get approval while drinking slow gin and vodka from a cheese glass. Her wreckage spanned the globe; as a USO girl in WWII, she once hit a captain in the ear during a drunken brawl in Germany, nearly facing court-martial.

Back home, she married a compulsive gambler—she drank his gambling money and he gambled her drinking money. She tried to "fix" her life through a series of vain attempts: a baby and a period of compulsive housekeeping where she cleaned appliances with a toothbrush. The bottom came in a cold gray dawn in an alley, shaking and disgusted. After a Higher Power led her to the rooms, she moved from hating women to running a recovery house in Honolulu.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Mary R. opens with a joke about not knowing the audience while they were drinking.
• 2:15 Recounts her time as a feature dancer in San Francisco and the hollow feeling of the nightclub life.
• 5:40 Describes her USO tour in Asia and the 'democratic' way she drank with everyone from yard birds to generals.
• 8:10 The story of hitting a captain in Germany and the subsequent court-martial hearing.
• 11:30 Discusses the 'emotional erosion' of alcoholism and her marriage to a compulsive gambler.
• 14:20 Describes the insanity of her 'wagon' phase and her obsession with perfect housekeeping.
• 17:50 The bottom: reeling down Ventura Boulevard and the look in the eyes of children seeing her.
• 20:10 The first contact with AA and the young man who brought her the Serenity Prayer.
• 23:40 Laughter: Discusses her first sponsor, Rita, and the 'woman's stag' meetings.
• 26:10 The process of praying for her ex-husband and making amends to him before his death.
• 29:30 Recounts her time running a recovery house in Honolulu and her daughter's struggle with addiction.
• 32:10 The heartbreak of rescuing her grandchild from dope tents and the struggle to stay sober with a broken heart.