Mary M. on the Disease, the Insane Asylum, and the Heavenly Mandate

About This Speaker Tape

Eight admissions to Bellevue Hospital in a single year marked the distance between the 'insane asylum' and the life of service Mary M. eventually found. She describes the wreckage of a 'fighting drunk' who once wore a fur coat over nothing and was dragged into a legal hearing for indefinite commitment to Rockland State Hospital while wearing a stringless Johnny coat.

The turning point arrives not through a sudden epiphany but through the cold reality of a social worker admitting there was nothing the medical system could do for her. Mary dismantles the illusion of her own 'smartness' and arrogance eventually finding a peace that transcends her history of straitjackets and black eyes. Now a volunteer at a nursing home she views her sobriety as a 'heavenly mandate,' moving from a rebel without a cause to a woman who can finally look in the mirror and call herself a friend.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Mary M. opens with a song and a story about washing a friend's underwear.
• 4:15 Laughter: Mary discusses the 'charming' nature of alcoholics and the 'butterfly wings' found in recovery.
• 8:30 Mary describes the history of Dr. Bob and the early days of treating alcoholics in hospitals.
• 12:45 Mary discusses the 'peace that passeth all understanding' and Bill W.'s spiritual experience.
• 17:20 Mary describes her 'bitching' and the resentments that signaled her readiness to drink again.
• 22:10 The story of the legal hearing at Bellevue and the humiliation of the stringless Johnny coat.
• 30:15 The 'equinox of sobriety': the social worker admits the medical system is powerless to help her.
• 36:40 Mary describes her early sponsorship in Teaneck and the 'no women allowed' charter of the five men.
• 42:10 Mary reflects on her time as a 'rebel without a cause' and her current volunteer work at the nursing home.
• 48:00 Closing thoughts on the 'girl in the glass' and finding friendship with oneself.