Marty M. at the 7th International AA Convention – 1980

About This Speaker Tape

1930s England. Nine doctors, all men of eminence, tell her she is having a nervous breakdown or an anxiety neurosis. None of them use the word alcoholism.

Marty M. spent years running away from herself, moving from place to place, a "moral leper" hiding in the shadows. She describes the "double stigma" of the female alcoholic—the secret drinking in safe places, the crushing guilt of falling from a pedestal.

She recalls the danger of "hollow legs," that deceptive early stage where one can out-drink anyone in New Orleans without a hangover. For Marty, AA was the bridge back to the human race after being "kicked out." She views the program not as a mere technique for sobriety, but as a door to life and a way to fight the "built-in forgetter" that makes the wreckage of the past seem dim. Through a Higher Power, she moved from an antagonistic atheism to a spiritual awakening.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Al introduces Marty M. and the concept of AA as a bridge back to the human race.
• 4:15 Discussion on the definition of sin as separation from a Higher Power and other people.
• 8:30 Marty M. discusses the 'two people' she is: the professional and the alcoholic.
• 14:20 Historical context on the Washingtonian Society and the mid-1930s emergence of AA.
• 18:10 The 'double stigma' and the specific secrecy of women alcoholics.
• 22:45 Recounting the nine doctors in England who failed to diagnose her alcoholism.
• 27:10 The 'built-in forgetter' and the danger of forgetting the pain of active drinking.
• 32:15 Laughter: The story of the 1939 trip to Cleveland and the 'ridiculous' idea of national growth.
• 36:40 Marty M.'s experience with a spiritual awakening and her time with psychiatrist Harry K.
• 41:10 Closing thoughts on the bond of the disease and the importance of women sharing their stories.