Marce W. at the Eleventh Step Meeting – 1985

Some of you probably have not been to this meeting before. Hello Maxine! And most of you have, but I would like to tell you how it got started. When we started Brownwood, I was having a Friday morning Eleventh Step meeting with a small group in a little chapel in Midland. I came down here and I wanted to keep on doing my little Eleventh Step meeting. I didn't find many people that wanted to practice with me, so I would get one or two. First we just met in a little house someplace, and then we met in one of the little screen cabins, and then we just met all over the place. It's just been such a neat experience for me, and I realized that this was a way that we could get together. And be in practicing the steps together, and particularly the Eleventh Step, that we would be offering ourselves to God to be of service in any way that we could while we were here at camp. And it's a wonderful way to be supportive of the speakers, the chairmen, and everybody that will be in attendance. I found that if we get in this consciousness, that we're in a position to be a part of the community. And that's the main reason I believe that we keep doing this, and it's such a wonderful experience for everyone that comes, because we feel so in tune when we do this. And we are as a group practicing offering ourselves to God to be used for the weekend. And it seems that when... It's just kind of sexual. It's just sexual. Well, I'd just like to get the deterrent in the fourth person ardent, and I'mgta have a certain achievement. The transport. That sit halt walk. I wouldn't say it iOS halts他们. And that's certainly nice to have a t t handheld age on theließlich. They should be able to take care of those kinds of things thatриDo they know what that is? групп. I think it would be really nice to put the story in that culture. Just meet them at the wanage, be with people if they've got time. You know how bad it is to me a particular time in July. The tavalla doiyou think that stuck through years, since they had first, um, turned up t'mewon? up there speaking. There's so many ways that people make a contribution here. And to just be in tune enough to know when to go talk to that person or say something to a person, and everybody's good at that. But when we meet together like this, we are just more conscious of what we're here for. I'm sure there will be people here for the first time. And usually first-time attenders just really have an experience. And somebody came up to me not many years ago and said, you know, it's not happening to me now. What's the matter? I said, well, you're supposed to learn to be of service. Make yourself available so you can be there for somebody else. And when we have had that experience ourselves, then we want to do that. So that's kind of the way it started. We've done it. It's all different ways and all different places. I'm going to take you through the steps in the form of a prayer or in the form of a meditation. I found out years ago that if I wanted to be still and be quiet and practice the 11th step, the best way I could do that was to just mentally in my mind go through the steps. And then I was clear. And I was open. And I was ready to listen. So that's the way we're going to do it. And when we get to the 11th step, I have a song that many of you have heard, Into His Presence We Are Going Now. We played it woman to woman. And we hadn't played it here. And I thought I would like to share that with you. And it just speaks to our hearts. It just talks to us about what the 11th step is about. And then when that is over, then I'm going to go through the 11th step. And I would just like for each of you that care to, to say whatever. You don't have to. Everybody doesn't need to talk. Just share whatever you're feeling. If you would like to, if you have a need, if you would like to ask for that, if you just want to say whatever comes into your mind, well, just feel free to do that when we get through with going through the steps together. Also, the first step says we admit. And we come to believe. All the steps start with we. Which means to me that it's nice when we get together and do this together. That when we do it together, it's much more powerful than when we do it alone, usually. There are always exceptions. But I find that, I find that each person here has certain gifts that they bring to this room, your love and your understanding and your caring. And when we bring all of those gifts together, then we are lifted up beyond what, what we probably can experience alone. So that's, that's all the explanations. Hi, Suzette. I think we have every chair full. It must be time to start. We got one empty. Okay. If two come in, we'll motion to them in that way. So let's just, you think we'd like a better flight for out? I do. Uh-huh. I think so. Now, we don't need to put that down. That's okay. Yeah, that's more comfortable to, for meditation. Let's just get quiet for a moment and relax. And just take a deep breath and let it out. And get still, still within. Father, we come to you now, admitting that we are powerless, that our lives are unmanageable, without your help and guidance. We're like a rose that is cut off from the bush. If we are not connected with your power, just feel that powerlessness. And we admit father that as of ourselves, we are nothing. And we come to believe that this power that we choose to call God is restoring us to sanity, to deeper degrees of sanity than we have ever known. We are not alone. We are not alone. So, let us say this very lovingly to our God. And from our spirit, we believe that the only protection for peace and peace lies in God. He has to be strong, heavy subscribed, warrior, upon that sound priestius who has the power and it feels good to know that this is happening to us now we make a decision to turn our will and our life our thoughts our desires our problems our families our jobs whatever makes up our life we turn that over to God as we understand God father we offer ourselves to you to build with us and do with us as you will relieve us of the bondage of self self-seeking self-justification self-righteousness self-centeredness so that we may better do your will and take away our difficulties so that victory over them may bear witness to those we would help of your power your love and your way of life may we do your will this day this weekend and always and now we take a moment to go within to do a self-searching we look and see and admit to ourselves we focus on safety and we seek to see provided that and we seek that in the ITU repeating ideal rights we look and see and admit to ourselves the nature of our wrongs if it brings me to think about something a little cellular simple sentence because divorce in that facility we call harm and services at the same time 350,000 children were subjected to child abuseッnaught an television showолжi against the law nddirra We look and see if there is anything left out of our searching and fearless inventory. And whatever you see, admit it to God and to yourself now. And if you need to, make the commitment to find someone else and tell them about it this day. And now we make a list of the people we have harmed. And we could certainly be part of that list. Many of you are. Many of you are. Many times we harm ourselves. By our negative attitudes, our feelings of inadequacy. Maybe we have not had time for another or for ourselves. Maybe we have had Ноah bearance and we are not yet stupid enough for that person. Be creative now. And you can start to do more from your mind. And believe well. But, but not then. Remember, the last thing we should do is make a list for ourselves today. The record man saw stake. And I want you to bring your words to some Alpha and Mini Horn. Give them a secondary note. May they be easy. Your mind needs to live with them. mind that you are sorry for any hurt or any harm you have ever caused them. Then ask them to forgive you for any hurt or any harm they have ever caused you. Then if need be, go to that person. Or write to that person and make the amend as well as the living amend. The way we live our lives is one big amend we make to God, to ourselves and to others. Amen. Amen. Amen. And know that you and others were doing the very best that they could according to their light that they had at the time. And not only do we forgive them, but we need to forgive ourselves. And just say to yourself, I forgive myself. You'll forgive me if I open up my mouth. If I don't think of the words that I'm going to make up. You'll help me to do them all over again. I will believe You. But just say He forgave my transgressions against me, except I can begin to take them to my Lord forever and again. I expecton you to pray this morning without having tossäu developing any pull. I don't know. Yeah. filling up all the spaces, showering you with his love and accept that love and we thank you for it, Father, for your guidance and your love and your light that are always present with us when we can make room for it and acknowledge it and keep the negative things out of our mind and heart that cut off the space and the sunshine of your spirit. Now we take a moment to continue to take inventory to see if there's anything we have left undone, if there's anything in our lives that cuts us off from the sunshine of God's spirit. And if there is, just admit it and release it. Now, Father, we are seeking to know you better. We are seeking to love you more. We are seeking the knowledge of your will for us. We are seeking the knowledge of your will for us. And we are seeking to love you more. And the power to carry it out. You are our Father and we are your children. You are the potter and we are the clay. Now as we listen to this song, just let it speak to your heart. Amen. Amen. it held your hands. All you do would be a blessing. You put your hands onto God's heart and go друг-a-ling. Bana.카� III Nag�iels ich Barnabas I am that world. Chakrani. Into His presence Into His presence Would I enter now Would I enter now For I am surrounded For I am surrounded By the love of God By the love of God By the love of God By the love of God Let me be still Let me be still Let me be still Let me be still Let me be still and listen to the truth and listen to the truth and listen to the truth Let every man Let every man let every man let every man every hope But what be still in me But what be still in me Let me remember Let me remember Let me remember I am one with God I am one with God I am peace to my brother peace to my brother Who is one with me Who is one with me Let me remember Let me remember What my brother What my brother is Let all the world be blessed with new spirit be blessed with new spirit and life and that I share with him I am sustained by the love of God All that I give is given to myself I thank my Father for his gifts to me Let me remember There is no little lost God He is with me Forever I am saved Let me remember There is no lost God I will stand there and let you lead the way me into His presence Lord I enter now for I am surrounded by the love of God Let me remember that I am with God Let me be still and listen to the truth Let every voice of God be still in me Let me remember I have once been gone Peace to my brothers and sisters and sisters and all the world who is one with me Let me remember what my heart does feel Let all the world be blessed with peace to me Let all the world be blessed with peace through me Let me remember that I am with God Let me remember that I am with God Let me remember that I am with God and I will remember that I am with God and I will remember that I am with God and I will remember that I will remember that God is with me and I will remember that for my life I will remember that I am with God and I will remember that we are blessed and filled with peace and love and hope and that nudge that you give us, to that guidance, to know when to say something, to know when to listen, and when to talk. We offer ourselves to you for this conference to make it a spiritual experience for everyone present here. And now I would ask that each of you ask or share whatever came to you. Father, I'm grateful for a friend that listens to my anger and unabashedness and anger. And I'm grateful for a friend that listens to my anger and unabashedness and anger. And I ask that each of you allow each other an opportunity to let go of your anger and ask God to take away some of your anger and let me get it out so that then there's a place then to ask you to come in and fill that up again with your love and your peace so that I don't have to feel that anymore. And this is a special place for loving people. And I'm grateful for their love to me. Father, oh dear, your guidance in helping our loved ones reach a decision, a career, a place to go. Thank you for this past year and for these past years. God, dear Father, I am so grateful to be here with my daughter and with all of my sisters and brothers. Thank you. How I long to be together in your presence with all these dear people. And thanks for sending me another word for the meaning, together, which is togetherness and love. And I am so grateful for your great assistance to the healing each person. Thank you, God. Almighty God, we thank you for our beautiful day. Would you have brought us all here safely? Would you guide us, be with us, direct us? And make it one of the most beautiful weekends that we will have to remember. We thank you for your presence, Father, and the growth that we have seen among so many over the years. Keep us close, keep us safe, and we ask this in Jesus' name. Amen. Thank you, Father, so much for answering my prayer last night. Amen. And I really know it's up to the God. Amen. Amen. And I know it's up to the God. And it's just here. And thank you, Father, for all the beautiful people around me, and that I do fit in. And I just lift all of us up into the light, and I love each and every one of you. And I really want to thank you for this wonderful day. And I definitely have got several, whole few people already are gone. However, my Blessing right now is to have you as a legacy, very precious to彼我. Thank you. Thank you, Father. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. For thy love and thy peace. Precious Father, thank you for the words that come out of my heart. Joy, love, togetherness, blessings, happiness, compassion, and all of the things that you have made it possible for me to feel again. Thank you for the people who were here when we came so many years ago and who are still here and still blessing their lives. Thank you for Marceline. You somehow have the magic to bring you so close to God. You make you such an important part of our lives. Amen. Amen. Amen. Thank you. Thank you. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. You might ask the Father within, what would he have you do this weekend? What is your assignment? And if you don't know right now, tell him that you'll be listening, that even though you're talking and having fun, that there will be a part of you that will be open and listening. And that you will feel that you're listening. And that you will follow his directions. Now, does anyone else have anything to say or to share? I would like to tell you something that Henry Walcott, Bob's sponsor, said the first year we were here. He said the people, and this was the first retreat type conference that was started in Texas. There were two others in the United States that we had heard about, Blackstone and Cook's Forest. And he said the people that come to this are going to be the grassroots of the program. He said they have the big conferences and the dances and the parties, but the people that will come to this, that pray together. Places they would come to that would always be very, very grand. And the people I said that are going to come here are the ones that will pray together and eat together and sleep together and set themselves apart for a retreat like this. And the people that are going to hold AA and Al-Anon together. We have a lot of fun, but it's not fun and games here. And the real seekers are the ones that we hold. And John Lammen said, we're not so difficult. There's a lot of people like... That's the key word. But that little let to all this is the ministry. Okay. Оllan zu Anson Zeon ノ that come here. We are the grassroots of the fellowship and I have seen that happen time and time again that we have somehow coming and experiencing. We have developed that spiritual muscle that will take us through whatever is necessary for us to walk through and it will also give us the words to say whatever we need to another person to carry that message. It's like we are more or less the appointed ones many times to do those things that are whatever reason maybe others might not be doing so I really feel that we're all very privileged to be here to be a part of this and that it's a wonderful assurance to know that we are willing to be used that we are open and receptive to being of service to God and to whom much is given much is required and sometimes some of us work real hard here but when we see what happens and through the year we hear people stand up and say I went to the lakeside conference and this happened to me it makes it all worthwhile it makes it all worthwhile you know it's a it's a loving service that we give it's a joy from our heart and the sometimes the accommodations could be better but those things just don't matter they just really don't make any difference because we have when we come here we're really putting for first things first and we're really open and ready to give to people to serve to receive and sometimes I have come here just so exhausted or maybe I've come here so needy and I have come here to find somebody to take a step with I have come here in all kinds of different situations but it's a place that I can come to be renewed to in in any of these different jobs and I always leave different than the way I came and that's the magic of this place bonnie Marc 하고 se s På muito des Beauty para selvagem a long time atrás into already a chord I pentru te,rade, formerly in school a long time ago at our new team of things and I 곧 내가 given of yourself for these many years i missed the first one but i have only missed two since that time thank you bonnie we thank you for being here thank you it was just one of it was one of my assignments i just it was just mine to do and it's been a joy to do it anybody else have anything to say well having had a spiritual awakening as the result of us being here together and practicing these steps we will try to carry this experience this message to others and to practice the principles of loving and caring and giving and sharing and honesty and blessing in all of our affairs thank you david my name is joe clary and i do sell magazines and i caught a little hell last night because i didn't mention it the meeting in brownwood the a brownwood meeting so i'm going to talk about it again tonight i started this 24 years ago i discovered that tom lovin was one of our big speakers from north carolina and and sudi and a dozen people and bob white and his mother and hell nobody was taking the grapevine and so i took some grapevine subscriptions and they subscribed to it i got all the speakers they weren't taking them either and that's what started me selling grapevines and i've been selling for 24 years and i've had several nice remarks about how i look tonight and i am again wearing my best and and i just had a good year selling grapevines i explained that to one or two of them anyway if anybody wants to send a grapevine subscription into new york i'll be very happy to take it i think it's a great 12 stepper next to you personally and my motto and i've been ex-officio member of that grapevine committee for many years in new york and and if uh i'll be happy to send it in and my our motto and everywhere we go is uh when anyone reaches out i don't know how to say it i haven't said it recently when anyone anywhere reaches out for a grapevine we always want a grapevine to be there thank you very much my name is also joe c and i'm an alcoholic and it's through the grace of god and the help of many people like you in this program that i haven't had a drink since the 14th of december 59 and i'm very very grateful for that the president asked me to talk about the our 25th year as a lake brownwood conference first four or five years it was the lake brownwood retreat this came about i talked about it last year and i tried to do some recall again last night and today and and i don't have any particular notes on it but some a few names here and the we had two girls in 17 and i had a couple of girls in 17 and i had a couple of girls in 17 and i had a couple of girls in 10 group back in 1960 who went to the blackstone retreat in virginia and they came home all excited it was lee lois looney and millie howard and they were really excited about that and a bunch of the folks from 710 were having a little party one night shortly thereafter at uh uh margaret grahams home and they were talking about this and wanted to do it and i think marceline somebody said well why we can't go back there to virginia and do through this all the time, why don't we do something about it here in Texas? And Dick Claiborne, who was the first Christian church minister then and who talked here last year and was one of our original directors, but couldn't be here this year, and he is a minister and he retired. And Dick was a great friend of A.A.'s in Midland, and he spoke up and said, well, I can get our camp for you. I'll be glad to get the camp. You have a place to meet if you want it. Five churches in West Texas at that time owned this property and owned this camp, first Christian churches in surrounding towns, including Midland. So that got it started, and Bob took that over. Bob White took over right away on that and started promoting it a little, and they talked to Tom Lovering, who was a great retreat man in the churches and a big friend of A.A., as you all know, in Dallas. And they got a hold of Tom Lovering, who had a lot to do with running Blackstone. He and a Methodist minister by the name of Dutch Whitley, and got a lot of advice for them, such as, I remember once Tom said, don't let them get too big. Be sure and controlled. Tom said one time, and I guess this is, I don't think I'm exaggerating, they had one retreat in the church that got up to five or six thousand people, and it just got out of hand. They started with five hundred, and he said they could handle up to twenty-five hundred or three thousand, but when it got up to five or six thousand, they lost all identity with the weekend they wanted of fellowshipping and friendship and all. And they couldn't tell people in the church to stay away like we can tell people in A.A. to stay away here. So they warned us about limiting the facilities and don't have too big a facility, and a lot of other things about reservations and how to handle it and things like that, and agreed to come down and help us. Now, when I say us, I was not a director, I was not an original director, I was one of these gopher boys, particularly for Bob White, and I was gopher for quite a few years. And he enjoyed it. And so that got it started. And they had several meetings around, and Bob didn't want Midland to run this thing particularly, he wanted it to be statewide, and hopefully that it would grow, and when we got big enough, they could start another group someplace and have this. The original one was Cook Forest in Pennsylvania, the next one was Blackstone in Virginia, and as far as I know, we were the third one in the United States. And we were for quite some time. So the thing got underway, and we started with the board of directors, we met several times, and Bob did a pretty good job going around the state and getting people. And here was the original board of directors. One of these is here tonight, and is a survivor. And I got a list here. I'm going to get him up here after a while. He dressed down and I dressed up tonight. From Midland, they had Bob White, Dick Claiborne, the Methodist minister, and Lee Lois Looney, who brought the message back from Blackstone. From Dallas, Tom Schiff was the director the first year or two, the first few years, talked several times. From Kilgore, they had Burton Crawford. From Texas City, they had Sam Harkins. From Lubbock, they had Cotton James. San Angelo, Ethel Bryant, and Walter Tucker. O'Neill, they had James. From Midland, they had Bob White, Dick Claiborne, the Methodist minister who brought the message of the Old Testament. From Home, theyfor10 Dingle Lane. Springfield, they had Adam Hampton. They had Sam Whitley. From Stuttgart, they hired another OFF guy FC Sandoval for time O. Ozone, Ralph Jones. Houston, Homer Ramsey, been selling cigarettes throughл and Paul Hannah from Seville, Dallas. They all brought up a list. And this is all from town. O' Ozone was always a trade. We just came out of region. President Koenig was there to serve us здесь. Jim Scha tinha to do some business. We were in the halt selling cigarettes.iversity.com I right at 100 people in 1961 at this site. We didn't have these new dorms, but we had the old barracks out there. And the next year we had about 200, and it's been full ever since. And we think it's been a great success. Now we handle 275 people. They made a lot of rules that have worked out by research, by what the people advised them to do from Blackstone and from these two ministers we had here. And if you attend Brownwood, you are sent a letter, an invitation, for three years to come back, invited back. If they don't hear from you, you're dropped from the mailing list, and you are given a certain length of time to send in your registration and money. And then it is open, and it's first come, first served. And as far as I know, that's never been violated. And it's proved to be very successful. They men in blue around here, that was a thought that came along, and that was created, and they've been a great part of this conference every year. And you know that's spread around the United States. You'll see that in other conferences. And things like that that they did really seem to work out. Of course, I'm real thrilled to be here. I may not sound excited like I am, but I'm really excited, because Brownwood is very close to me and very close to the heart. And I've just been happy ever since I arrived yesterday, and, you know, just keep seeing. I've been seeing friends and seeing faces and seeing people in it. There's a lot of fellowship, and it's gone on for a long time. And I've been one of the fortunate ones. I've been able to be here for 25 years and not miss a meeting. And as a result of this, seven or eight years after we started, and they're about 18, 19, 20 years old now, Cedar Glen, some Amarillo people wanted to start a conference. Bob and Marceline went up there and helped them, and they got Cedar Glen started. And I know I went. I went to Cedar Glen, and a lot of people from this conference went up and helped them the first year or two or three, and I went for five, eight, or ten years regularly. And after that, Bob finally, some people around Dallas and that area wanted a conference, and they've had the Brazos River Conference the last four, five, or six years, and that's about 450 people. I think Cedar Glen's over 200, isn't it, Johnny? Something like that. Highly successful. I love them. I've got a picture here with, I can't call her husband's name. I know Benoit always. Tom Shaw. But I remember her real well. And they've started to find conference, and we'll not. This will be your fourth year next year, and I don't know. It's growing, and it's at Canyon, Oklahoma. So this is really beginning to start in the United States, and I don't know about going other places, and I don't want to take a lot of time tonight because we have about five people, including me, who were here at the first meeting and who have been here all the time. And I'd like to have some of those people come up and talk a little about this. And I think that's a good thing. And out of this thing, I think the young people in AA are meeting all over the United States this year in the last few years, and I'd like to ask Marceline after a while to tell you a little bit about that. And so I think, but we have one person who's been most faithful here. She and her husband, Ralph Jones, they started, Ralph was one of the first directors for Mozona, and Mary Lee, and they got ahold of some fine sheets, and they started to get some good ones. And they got some good ones. They got some blankets and pillowcases and things the first year, and they've been very faithful. They've been here ahead of everybody every year and made up those beds for those speakers and people, and it's just been great the way they've handled that situation. And she's been a great asset and great, shared with everybody and been great over the years, and I want Mary Lee to come up and say something, too. Well, I'm Mary Lee Jones from Mozona, and this is a surprise. You have no idea. You have no idea how good it makes one feel to see all of you out there and to know this has been going on for 25 years. Yes, I was here for the first meeting, and I've been here for all of them except the year Ralph died in 72, and this has been, it's just wonderful. It's too good to be true. Each year we have so many new faces, and we have so many old faces that come back all the time. I was just thinking today, it's hard to believe that 25 years has passed, but it has, and I'll soon be 80 years old, and I'm still coming. And the ones of you that do remember Freeman Yao, go put your name on the little card that we have back there. Bonnie has it back at the desk. And Freeman calls about once a month, and he's still sorry he cannot be here to shine your shoes, and he's sorry that he lives in Florida, and in one letter I had from him, I don't know what he intended to do, but he said, I'm sorry I ever left Texas. And of course he never lived in Texas. But he will be happy to know that you're all thinking of him. And that's all I have to say, except I'm just so happy to be here, and I'm happy that this thing has just grown and grown and will continue. And I'll keep on coming back, and next year it'll be a little better. Well, I don't have to say anything, Mary. You can see they love you. Now, the first year, Cotton James, who was our new director from Lubbock, had a new baby, and his name was Johnny Brooks, and his wife, Octavia, and Johnny had been sober a few months, and he brought them to Cedar Glen, and this is their 25th meeting. And I'd like for Johnny to come up and tell them a little bit about his story. I just have a very few words to say. I don't really know what I'm doing down here. No, in all seriousness, only in AA could you do that and get away with it. In all seriousness, I give this conference credit for saving not only my sanity, but my life, and certainly I thank Octavia's sanity. Cotton did bring us down here. Incidentally, I am Johnny B., and I'm an alcoholic and a pill head. Through this wonderful program that we're going to be talking about tonight and a lot of wonderful friends, both in and out of AA, but most of all, a kind, loving God. I haven't found necessarily using one of these drugs, crutch, since the 60s, the May of 1961. Cotton and Ernstein brought us down here in September. And I had firmly made up my mind that, incidentally, we had to borrow the money to come down here, and it was all $25 apiece at that time. So I told you something about our finances, and I don't know. We thought we were going to have to borrow this year, but we didn't. Progress, progress. But anyhow, anyhow, I was going to try this because I'd already made up my mind that I couldn't stand the stress. I wasn't having all that problem with the booze part, but the drugs were a greater part of my life than I cared to admit. And even though I had cold herpidum, I was dreading the day when I'd start back. And right over here in the old barracks where I came in, as I recall, we came down on a Thursday that time, too. And another one of these coincidences, that they talk about in AA. I sat down on the bed, and I occupied the only bed. I mean, there was nobody else in there. A little fellow came in, in place of getting down the corner or any place else. He got the bunk right next to me. And we got started talking. And he didn't tell me he was a doctor, but actually who it was was Dr. Gene Seale. So we got talking, and something came up about drugs. And I told him the problem that I was having, the fact that I had insomnia, something terrific. I could not sleep. And he told me, he said, never in the history of medicine has anybody ever died of lack of sleep. He said, get your butt out of bed and walk whenever you get this period. And he said, just the physical tiredness will make you sleep. And sure enough, he was right. But in addition, he told me what these drugs were doing to me and asked me what I'd been taking. And I told him. And he said, well, the fact that you've been taking these over this long period of years, they built up in your system until you exhaust them, from the tissues in your body, you're going to be just as nutty as a fruitcake like you were when you were taking them. And sure enough, he was right. And as I recall, it was somewhere November, December that year that I did start really getting my sanity back. But another one of these coincidences that we talk about in AA. So that is the reason I say that due to a kind and loving sponsor and a very loving wife, and most of all, to this coincidence down here, I believe that it literally saved my life. I'd be remiss without reminiscing a little further. At that time, we left two kids at home, a boy of 15 and a little girl of 11. Well, 25 years later, this little girl is here with us with five years of sobriety. Vicki? Five months, I'm sorry. I'll have a hell of a time with that. But anyhow, that's what Brownwood Conference has meant to me and mine over the past 25 years. Thank you very much. Thank you, Johnny. Octavia, will you come up, please? Oh, man. Isn't this fantastic? I'm like Mary Lee. I can't describe the feeling of being a part of the 25th year celebration for Brownwood. It's where, it all started for me, where it's been every year. And I had learned so many things here. This is back in 61. And Al-Anon and AA was not the same in 61 as what it is today in a lot of ways, especially, I think, Al-Anon, because it was just beginning to grow. And I met Mary Lee that year. And she helped me with so many things. We talked. And I cried a lot. And she loved me a lot. And she told me, I need a sponsor. And I thought at that time, we didn't talk about sponsors in Al-Anon. I thought that was just for AAs. And explained to me what it was. And so I said, well, would you be mine? And she said, yes, she would. And I lived in Lubbock and she lived in Ozona. But she was my first sponsor, my first Al-Anon sponsor. And isn't it fantastic that I have my first sponsor still today? And that's Mary Lee. And we see each other several times a year. And we talk on the telephone. And she's still part of Brownwood and she's still part of me. And I love you, Mary Lee. One thing that sticks out in my mind is that when we first started having Brownwood, we Al-Anons were here, but we didn't have a speaker. We didn't take part in the program. And on Saturday afternoon, Marcy was always real instrumental in passing the word that if anybody that wants to, we'll have an Al-Anon meeting, you know, over on the grass. And we'd get on the grass or if it was raining, you know, we'd get somewhere else and we'd have an Al-Anon meeting. But we brought cookies and cakes for the hospitality room. And I think, if my memory is correct, that it was the third year that we had an Al-Anon speaker. Our colleagues asked us to be a part of the program and we began to have an Al-Anon speaker up here at the program as part of it. Now, that was a big advancement. And that started the ball rolling. It was several years later before in our home groups we were allowed to have an Al-Anon from the podium with alcoholics. In the audience, you know. But to me, it started here. The ice was broken here that you alcoholics brought us into the program and allowed us to have the privilege to be a part of your program, really a part of your program with you. And I am very, very grateful for that. And I've told that story so many times because it started in Brownwood, you know. Everything started in 61 as far as I'm concerned, you know. Everything started then. And, uh, it's always been a real, real important thing to me to come to Brownwood because I learned about a fourth step from Brownwood, you know. I learned about a fifth step. Everything I learned, it seemed like, were things that I could learn and take back home with me, you know. And not necessarily that people at home accepted it in the groups, but, well, we sure tried. And, uh, Joe and I were talking last night. And I said, you know, I said, you know, I said, you know, I said, you know, I said, you know, I said, you know, he thought that you might enjoy this. I don't know whether you will or not. But it seems like that no matter what, we're going to come to Brownwood. Borrow money or what else. We're coming to Brownwood. We go to the other conferences that have started from this. And one year, I can't remember which year it was, but one year, I had fallen and broke my arm. And everybody kept saying, well, you can't go with that, you know. How are you going to bathe? How are you going to change? How are you going to change? How are you going to change clothes? Well, at that time, I had three little girls, new little babies. And I said, y'all are going to Brownwood. And sometimes some of them will, you know, do exactly. And I think, you know, like we did. And so they came. They did come and their husbands that year. And now this may go be a little far, but one of them was a hairdresser and she kept my hair fixed. One of them I loved dearly and wasn't too modest in front of her. And she scrubbed my back and dried my feet and, you know, got me in and out of the shower. The other one helped dress me. Now, what more can love can you show than to do that for a sponsor, even though they've asked you to, you know. That was with the broken arm. A few years after that, I was in a car accident. And got my back and neck all screwed up. And I was going to, had been taking treatment for quite a while. And the doctor said, you know, that I had to go into the hospital and go into traction and let him try all this different stuff. And I said, well, I can't go until I get back from Brownwood. And that year, Cotton had a station wagon at the front seat laid all the way back. So Cotton says, they're going to go in their car, but we have to borrow this station wagon. So that I can lay down. And I came laying down, you know, looking up like this. And Johnny brought a lawn chair. And I had it sitting in the back. And I laid in the lawn chair the whole time. Just dying to want to, you know, to get up. But I laid in it most of the time for the meetings. But I was doing exactly what I wanted to do. I was at Brownwood. And I could not stand to miss Brownwood. And I feel like God knew that. And so it was okay. And I got back. And I got back home. And the next day, I went in the hospital and stayed for six weeks. And that was fine. This year, Johnny had some surgery coming up. And the doctor said, there'll be a four to five week recovery period that you can't ride or drive or, you know, lift, do any of this stuff. So we got the counter and we took it down there. And we said, now look, this is when Brownwood is. And if he has it here, can he go back? And he said, no, he's not going to be there. And the doctor looked at it and he said, that'll be four and a half weeks. I don't think it's any problem. And Johnny said, well, let's get it on with it then. Get it over with. That was the main thing. And to me, that's the way it's been with us. Because so many things have started here for us that we've been able to use and to carry on. And I am grateful and really excited. You know, first edition things have gotten to be important to me now, the older I get. And I feel like Brownwood is a first edition. And I'm a first member. And I'm proud of that. I really am. And I want to thank all of you for being here and for letting me share with you. Because I feel extremely grateful that I've been allowed to be here for 25 years and to get up here and look at your beautiful faces and say, thank you and I love you. Now that couple has helped their regular at Cedar Glen and their regular at Brownwood. But they've also helped me out here at the canyon. Right? The next person I'd like to come up here is our only surviving director. And we're real proud of him. And I said some nice things about him last year. And I mentioned the fact that he's been a trustee of Alcoholics Anonymous and that he'd done a lot of fine things in New York and gone to Europe and that he'd been associated with the National Council on Alcoholism for many years. And he's going to spend his time tomorrow with the prison system of AA, which he's been in for many, many years. And when he got up here, he thanked me for all that gold. So I'm not going to tell you any of that tonight. Don, come up, will you please? I went up there. I'm rooming with him. And I dressed up tonight and he come in and dressed down. Thank you, Joe, of sorts. My name is Don Austin. I'm an alcoholic. By the grace of God, I helped this program, particularly in Brownwood. I'm Lake Brown. I'm sober today. Unlike Johnny, I know why I'm here. I'm here to show up Joe's new clothes here. He told me to put on my old clothes so he'd look better, you see. Anyway, no more bullshit. Joe is a great fellow, really. And if you don't believe him, ask me. He's a great fellow. If he's got a greater wife, and I'm crazy about her, I can assure you that. Um, they should have, of course, you old-timers remember, Homer Ramsey, who died several years ago. And he was one of the first directors. I wish he'd been here or we'd call him down up above. He could really tell you that. Great storyteller. And he could tell more about this in his early days in five minutes than I can all day. But, um, as far as remembrance, my, I lost my memory. Years ago, I remember one or two things. First of all, as Joe said, it was very small, about a, I don't think there were a hundred people. I don't think there were a hundred people. I don't think there were a hundred people here that first year. And then $25, that appeared, that appealed to all as tightwads. And, um, but then another thing that, that, and this is a little confession. I've got to confess this on the people. I remember several things that, that, uh, we in the boondocks, and I lived in the boonies down there, we'd heard about these damn people from Midland. They, God, you'd think they were the 12 apostles. The whole, the whole bunch of, really. I, I, I, I can't, uh, use a polite burr. I didn't think much of them. And we got up here, and Bob, the great, great white father, took me a long time to get used to him, but he, he finally got through my thick skull what a great fellow he was. And we, the whole country's indebted to Bob because he, he and Marcy pretty single-handedly ramrodded this thing. But also on the, on the female side, we from the country, um, we don't know how to dress very well down there. And a bunch of girls came up here, and those clothes horses from Midland, those girls, about 12 of them, God, they, they looked like they'd come right down from Neiman Marcus here. And that gave those girls from the country, they, an awful pain. And, and some said they, damn them anyway. Why don't they go home and take their clothes off and dress like us common people? So those are two, two main things I remember about the, about the early days. Apparently the, the spiritualities program didn't sink in on me for quite, quite a while. But, uh, I'm a person who does things by rote. I've, I've come here, I think, every year since then. And I'm, I'm deeply grateful to everybody here. And the, uh, those early days, they were known as the good old days. I can't say that, uh, they're any better than they are now. But they, we, we, when you get to be older, and Mary Lee, I'm delighted that you, you mentioned that, 80 years, because I'm just behind Mary Lee. And when I get to be 80, I want you to all stand up and clap for me like you did for Mary Lee. Thank you. Well, that's Don. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, Well, that's Don Austin. He, uh, we changed this meeting till tonight, tomorrow night. He's got to leave tomorrow and go spend a good many hours with the prison system here at Gatesville. And he won't be able to get back until 10 or 11 tomorrow night. So we didn't want to have this without him. He's our only surviving director. Thank you, Don. Now, there isn't any question, we went over it very thoroughly last year, in memory of Bob. And Bob and Marcy had a great deal to do. And really are responsible for Brownwood after the girls came back from Blackstone and planted the seed. And I'm going to ask Marcy to come up now. And I hope she tells you a little bit about young people in AA as a result of this conference. Hi, everybody. I'm Marcy White, and I'm still a recovering Al-Anon. Hi. Um, my memories of Brownwood were so important. I remember hearing speakers at the top of Texas talk about, and I went to Blackstone, and this happened to me. And I just couldn't wait to get to Blackstone, but we didn't have the money to go. So when somebody else got to go, and I heard about it, I said, why can't we do it here? And Joe told you about that part, and I was so excited to get here. And Mary Lee just told me back there that there were 64 the first year instead of 100. Alcoholics have a way of exaggerating a little bit sometimes. She has a lot of speakers. That's right. And I remember, too, that there wasn't enough money to pay some of the speakers. So some of them said they'd just put their own bill, which was wonderful. And I remember some of them, some of the people dug down in their pocket and put a little more money in so we could make some money. And I remember, I remember the first time I was there, and they said about emotional as well, about emotional as well, that there was almost nothing left at all, that people were like the totally best musicians in the place, but we were children and we didn't have that. Though we still had that money. So we're so grateful that the staff it wasn't this, we shared that joy with them, and I need help myself, and sometimes I'm here for somebody else, but there's always neat things that happen, and I know that it will continue to be that way. Joe asked me to talk a little bit about young people. We met some young people here along the way, and Bob and I were traveling a good bit in Texas, and I would find one young person in one group and another one in another group, and about 18 years ago, I knew about nine young people in the state of Texas, not any two in the same group, and a couple of those gals wanted to come to Lake Whitney to meet for the weekend. One lived in Houston, one in Fort Worth, and we said fine, and after a little while, I thought it would be a good idea to ask them about young people. I went to the other young people down to meet these two young people. So I wrote a letter. I had room to sleep nine people, so I wrote a letter and invited the nine people that I knew, and the word got out, and others called, can we come? And it ended up that we had 22 young people for the weekend, and Bob was chairman, and he called on everybody to talk, and we started talking. And I was sitting in the big room around the fireplace, and David Williams was there. He was sober about a week or two. Four days. My daughter Susan was sponsoring our teams, and she called me, and I had asked her. She called me and said, a guy named David has come in. Can he come? And I said yes. That'll be okay, but some of them are going to have to stay at the lodge. And, everybody loved that meeting, and they all talked about where they were, and the hard time that they were having as young people, because they didn't know any more young people, and they changed addresses with each other. And they said, can we do this again in three months? And we said, sure. They came back in three months, and there were about 40 some odd. At that time, they began to say, I couldn't have stayed sober if I hadn't had Grady's address in Austin, and David's in Dallas, and all of that. And they said, why don't we make this the Lake Whitney Young People's Conference? And they did, and they met every three months in our house, as long as we could get them in the house. And it grew, and when we got to about 100, they couldn't, there wasn't even room for bodies on the floor anymore. So they had to move out to the lodge. But, people came to those meetings, and it was gut-level honesty, still is. And people came from Florida, and they went back and started there, and they came from other places, and they started it. And there was one guy, Flint somebody, and they call him Johnny Appleseed of the Young People's Conferences, because he moved around. He was a city planner, and he moved from city to city, and every place he went, he started one. Bob and I had the privilege of attending sort of an international Young People's Conference in Tennessee, three or four years ago. And they began to get up and tell their story about, well, I went to Whitney, and then I went home, and I started one, and then somebody else came, and they started one, and we got to see how this had spread all over the country. And now, and I don't know how much that had to do with young people in AA, but I know that it really had a lot to do with young people in AA in Texas staying sober. And it really was fun to watch them come, and Bob would tease them that they would come in bread trucks, he said, and they would come in Volkswagen, and their old cars wouldn't start, and they would come dragging in and say, my car won't start, and he'd go out and help them get started. And some of them, couldn't make it home, and he'd loan them a little money, or give them some sandwiches for their pocket, or whatever they needed, but they kept coming back. And now they have split in Whitney, and there's the Young People's Conference that meets four times a year. There's Young Minds that meets four times a year, and now there's Narcotics Anonymous that meets four times a year. So there is a Young People's Conference at Lake Whitney every month. And it's a really good event, and it's a very good way to celebrate the new year. And we had no idea what was going to happen from that, just like we had no idea what was going to happen from this. But that's the exciting thing about staying around long enough to be able to watch it unfold and to see what happens with God's ideas when they're put into action. And it's just wonderful to be here, and I love every Brownwood I've ever been to. I missed one, and I was very ill. I was packed to come, and she was very ill, and I just could not leave. And I remember Bob calling me. She was out of the crisis by Saturday night, and he said, come on down here Sunday morning, and it will still count that you've been here. Isn't that the con for her? And I said, honey, I'm too tired to come. But that's the only one I've ever missed. And I have gone to many lengths to get here. And I'm going to get here too. And that's what it takes sometimes. We have to be willing to go to any lengths to come to these things where we get fed and get our bucket full so we can go home and pass it on to others. And I love you all.