Making Friends with Reality – Marilyn S.

About This Speaker Tape

A child bursts into tears over a Christmas present, sobbing that he didn't get "just what he always wanted." For Marilyn S., that was the story of her life. Born in Ohio, she felt like a stranger to the wholesome world around her, eventually seeking refuge in the esoteric language of science. She describes her early adulthood as being a "sick and hideous parasite," attaching herself to people like a "tick on a dog" to suck out their life.

The technicolor allure of alcohol turned her career into a blur of lab-coat arrogance and missed research, eventually landing her in a garage, relegated to where she couldn't cause harm. After years of "visiting" meetings while still drinking, a preschool director's cold remark about getting her head "screwed on right" sparked a shift. Marilyn describes the "superorganism" of the fellowship that carried her through the wreckage, including the devastating suicide of her son. She concludes that the only way to live is to make friends with reality.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Marilyn S. opens with gratitude and mentions her sobriety date of February 8, 1972.
• 2:15 A childhood memory of her son David and the feeling of never getting 'just what I always wanted.'
• 5:40 Descriptions of her early career in science, the Fermi Institute, and her 'confirmed atheist' worldview.
• 10:15 The 'technicolor' shift into heavy drinking in the 1960s and the loss of her science career.
• 14:30 Laughter: The 'troubled moms' therapy group and the moment she fell out of her chair.
• 17:45 The first 12-step call from Lorena and the 'remarkable coincidence' of meeting her sponsor Marion.
• 22:10 Discussion of the Pacific Group in West LA and the importance of a strong sponsorship ethic.
• 28:30 Reflections on the joy of active service and the 'technicolor' nature of a sober life.
• 31:15 The tragedy of her son David's suicide and the immediate support of the fellowship.
• 35:40 The role of her friend Diana and the 'superorganism' of the fellowship during grief.
• 38:10 Applause: Closing thoughts on the 'ripple effect' of her story and the hope that the best is yet to be.