Living a Life of Faith Rather Than Fear – Russell S.

About This Speaker Tape

KISS Group - 2013

A lawyer with a penchant for 12-hour bar marathons and a fragile ego describes the mental prison of the alcoholic. He recounts the humiliation of delivering what he believed was the worst fourth-step meeting in history only to discover a newcomer stayed sober because of a line he didn't even say. Through a series of blunt often abrasive interactions with his sponsor Bob S. he learns that the 'real disease' is the mental noise and paralysis of fear that persists even after the booze is gone. He moves from a life of vanity and 'nothingness'—masking his insecurity with degrees and cars—to a spiritual surrender. He argues that living 'one day at a time' is not a cliché but a tactical spiritual exercise to kill the noise and shift from a life of fear to a life of faith eventually facing a prostate cancer diagnosis with a level of detachment that would have been impossible in his drinking days.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Russell S. introduces himself and discusses the unpredictability of what a room needs to hear.
• 2:15 Laughter: Discussion of the 'please love me-a-holic' and the desire to impress people he doesn't like.
• 6:40 Description of the 12-hour bar circuit and the 'alcohol code' used to lie to his wife.
• 11:20 The interaction with sponsor Bob S. and the 'dog knows about his father' metaphor.
• 17:30 Analysis of the 'real disease' as the mental noise and anxiety that feels like sobriety.
• 22:10 The story of the 'worst meeting' and the newcomer who heard 'chicken on the roof'.
• 30:15 Discussion of the 'prerequisite' of desire and the danger of 'old ideas' about being unique.
• 36:40 The 'emperor of AA' complex: sitting in the back of a room waiting to be recognized.
• 42:10 Explaining 'one day at a time' as a spiritual exercise to combat the 'NORAD' style of defensive thinking.
• 48:50 Facing a prostate cancer diagnosis through the lens of a life of faith versus a life of fear.
• 53:10 Closing thoughts on the Sermon on the Mount and the necessity of a Higher Power.