Knowing the Shepherd Instead of the Sheep – Cecil C.

About This Speaker Tape

Blackstone Reatreat - 1970

Cecil C. maps out a life of running—from the discipline of his childhood home to the army, the navy, and a series of failed businesses. He describes a pattern of avoiding responsibility, punctuated by a chaotic stint in the Canadian Navy where he accidentally ordered fire on his own aircraft. After hitting a bottom marked by a brutal bar fight and a hospital stay, Cecil works through the steps, specifically dismantling the illusion of 'sanity' and the ego of the 'middle member.' He details the grit of a three-dollar amend for a stolen case of beer and the spiritual wake-up call provided by a dying cousin. Cecil's narrative centers on the transition from knowing the 'sheep' (the outward appearance of recovery) to knowing the 'shepherd' (the internal spiritual condition), urging the listener to stop being 'too intelligent' and simply be stupid enough to follow the program.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction by the MC; laughter regarding Cecil's appearance and dress.
• 5:15 Story of the parrot and the plumber; laughter.
• 12:40 Cecil describes his first drink at 16 and the feeling of becoming 'bigger than anybody in the crowd'.
• 18:20 The South Pacific incident: firing on friendly aircraft and getting kicked out of the Navy.
• 25:30 The bottom: a bar fight with a 265-pound man and the subsequent hospital stay.
• 32:10 The 'middle member' experience and the void of being 'nothing' in the group.
• 38:45 Step 1: Discussing the unmanageability of money and debts in Canada.
• 45:10 Step 4 and 5: The 'pencil and paper' struggle and the trick of writing a list of people you dislike.
• 52:00 Step 7: The story of Shy W. and learning how to get down on one's knees.
• 58:15 Step 9: The three-dollar amend for the stolen case of beer.
• 1:05:30 Step 10: The spiritual crisis of becoming a 'big wheel' and the wake-up call from cousin Fern.
• 1:18:00 Step 12 and the closing story of the actor and the minister (The Shepherd vs. The Sheep).