Kenny D. at the 12-step spiritual retreat – 2006

About This Speaker Tape

Behind a McDonald's in Seattle, between two buildings, is where Kenny D. used to shoot speedballs for hours. He recalls standing there years later in nice clothes and new Nikes, looking into the eyes of a homeless man and seeing his own soul.

He took off his shoes and gave them to the man, a visceral reminder of how quickly a sober person can forget the grit of the gutter. Kenny speaks of the "spiritual potential" inside every drunk, a latent power that exists even when a person is a "basket case." He describes the wreckage of the 12th step—the "RIP list" of sponsees who died and the guilt of withholding a set of tapes from a man who eventually overdosed. For Kenny, a spiritual awakening requires being "spiritually asleep" first; the deeper the slumber, the louder the wake-up call.

He views the Big Book as "Special Education AA" for those who need the truth read word by word to survive.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Kenny D. discusses the influence of Marianne W.'s writing and prayers on his own spiritual practice.
• 2:15 A poignant story about arranging a final phone call between Marianne W. and Darlene before she passed away.
• 6:40 Kenny discusses the 'Special Education AA' approach and the need for a loud wake-up call for those 'spiritually asleep'.
• 10:15 Discussion on the 'RIP list' and the tragedies common in recovery, including mentions of suicide.
• 13:30 The story of Gary G., the car salesman, and the guilt over the Joe and Charlie tapes.
• 17:45 The relationship with Brendan and the emotional impact of a Father's Day card.
• 22:10 Laughter: Kenny's obsession with the Seattle Mariners and his irritability at the ballpark.
• 25:30 The encounter with a homeless man behind a McDonald's and the gift of the Nikes.
• 28:45 A participant, Dave, shares his feelings of hopelessness and newfound hope.
• 31:10 Kenny explains the 'Return Prayer' and the importance of returning to the world to help others.