Jerry E. on the Permanent State of the Disease and Staying Sober — Session 9

About This Speaker Tape

A Weekend with Jerry E. - 2017

A former government employee for the FDIC Jerry E. reflects on a life spent hiding behind masks and the slow process of stripping them away. He recounts the terror of returning stolen leather briefcases and HP-12C calculators to a rigid supervisor named Cesar fearing prison after reading a newspaper clipping about a former colleague's sentencing. The narrative shifts through the geography of his recovery—from the plains of Kansas to the basements of New England—emphasizing the brutal reality of untreated alcoholism through stories of a man who died in his garage and a woman who stepped in front of a plane. Jerry describes his spiritual evolution not as a sudden leap but as a series of small clumsy steps moving from an 'evangelistic' phase of force-feeding the program to a quiet humble existence where he finds peace in picking up trash in a parking lot without telling a soul.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Opening remarks and acknowledgments of the weekend organizers.
• 12:15 Jerry discusses the 'honest desire' requirement for membership and his own mask in 1977.
• 17:40 Story of a man who died of carbon monoxide poisoning in his garage; discussion on the absolute nature of the illness.
• 25:10 The tragedy of a young woman who stepped in front of a plane; the progression of untreated alcoholism.
• 34:20 Step 9: The anxiety of returning stolen FDIC briefcases and calculators to Cesar.
• 48:15 Reflections on the kindness of people in New England and the 'evangelistic stage' of early recovery.
• 58:30 Laughter: The story of Father Bill and the 'bless you' response to a road-rage driver.
• 1:10:15 Discussion on the 12 Traditions and the subordination of the individual will to the group will.
• 1:18:40 Step 11: Jerry's struggle with prayer and meditation and the 'healing spirit' prayer from Don P.
• 1:32:10 The story of meeting Don P. in Denver and the 'AA friend' vs. 'Sponsor' distinction.