Jerry C. – Steps 6-7 Defects – The Outcome Business and Character Defects – 2014

Hello, everyone. My name is Howard Lemonetti. Hey, Howard. Welcome to the ISNAC 9 Convention on Narcotics Anonymous. To the member, please keep in mind that your conduct is a reflection of Narcotic Anonymous as a whole. If you are unable to conduct yourself in a respectable manner, you'll be asked to leave appreciated a time must be war in hallways and public areas at all times please keep in mind not everyone stays up all night please adhere to hotels quiet time our 11 p.m. 8 a.m., please keep the noise level in your room to a minimum, the committee has provided a hospitality suite for the convenience of group gatherings, please smoke only in areas designed to do so to the press our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion we need always maintain personal amenity at the level of press radio and film if you are approached by a member of the media director direct them to the convention information table near registrations the clarity statement we are presented with a dilemma when any members identify themselves as addicts and alcoholics or talk about living clean and sober the The clarity of the N.A. message is blurred. To speak in this manner suggests that there are two diseases, that one disease is somehow separate from the rest, requiring special recognition. Narcotics Anonymous make no distinction between drugs. Our identification as addicts is all-inclusive, allowing us to concentrate on our similarities and not our differences." This is the workshop, step six and seven. And to introduce the first speaker, I guess... Yeah, this is six and 7. I guess I just take the liberty to introduce our first speaker since he's from my area there's no readings up here but if someone had a basic text I guess we'd probably be one of the how it works outside of the basic text. Good. Hi, family. I'm an addict named David. My first monster never told me to go anywhere without my basic text, so I got one. If you want what we have to offer and are willing to make the effort to get it, then you're ready to take certain steps. These are the principles that made our recovery possible. One, we admitted that we were powerless over our drugs. our life had become unmanageable. Two, we came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Three, we made a decision to turn our well-earned lives over to the care of God as we understood him. Four, we met a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Five, we admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Six, we were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7. We humbly ask him to remove our shortcomings 8. We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all 9. We make direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so it would injure them or others 10. We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it 11. We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out. Throughout having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we try to carry this message to addicts and to practice these principles in all our affairs. This sounds like a big order and we can't do it all at once. We didn't become addicted in one day, so remember, easy does it. There's one thing more than anything else that will defeat us in our recovery. This is an attitude of indifference or intolerance towards spiritual principles. Three of these that are indispensable our honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness. With these, we are well on our way. We feel that our approach to the disease of addiction is completely realistic, for the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is about parallel. We fear that our way is practical, for one addict can best understand and help another addict. We believe that the sooner we face our problems within our society and everyday living, just that much faster do we become acceptable, responsible, productive members of that society. The only way to keep returning back to addiction is not to take that first drug you're like us you know the one is too many in a thousand never enough we put great emphasis on this but we know that when we use drugs in any form or substitute one for another we release our addiction all over again thinking of alcohol as different mother drugs caused a great many addicts relapse before we came to an aim many of us viewed alcohol separately so we cannot afford to be be confused about this alcohol is a drug we are people with the disease of addiction who must abstain from all drugs in order to recover okay once again my name is Howard I'm an addict this speaker that I'm about to introduce is a friend of mine a sponsor brother of mine from Milwaukee and I watched his brother coming to the program and for me you know I seen him and he was inspiration to me. He's always been an inspiration and he still is. With no further ado, I'd like to give you Jerry C from Milwaukee. Good afternoon, family. I'm an addict named Jerry. And first of all, I'd like to thank my higher power for waking me up and getting me here. And I'd like to thank the ISNAC Convention Committee for inviting me here. You know, it's an honor for an addict like me to be invited anywhere. Today's topic is the sixth and the seventh step, letting go of the baggage. and in order to change we have to let go of some of the let go about old baggage and one of the things that I realized early coming in after working with a sponsor you know he took me back to uh the introduction you know and uh this is where i gleaned of where this step process was trying to take me uh says based on our experience we believe that every addict including the potential attic suffers from an incurable disease of mind body and spirit we were in the grips of a hopeless dilemma the solution of which is spiritual in nature therefore this book would deal with spiritual matters uh i was one of those individuals that that uh i was like everybody else here when in active addiction we didn't practice no spiritual principles here uh and i wasn't uh i didn't i my uh active addiction was a learned behavior when i got here i realized i had to learn the uh narcotics anonymous way of life in order to have a new life in you know one of the things when I came into narcotics anonymous was that this disease that I suffer for from always wanted me to move This disease didn't want them VCRs and TVs and stuff that I was taking or anything that I was stealing. It wanted my life. So when I got here, and this awesome gift of recovery was offered up to me, the first thing the disease told me was you waited too late. You know, that at 52 years old when I came in, that it was too late for me to recover. But six years later, I'm still here, you know? So... And in a sense, this has been the best years of my life. It says, step six, we were entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character. And I think the first thing that I had to realize was that the defects of character, I wasn't going to be able to remove them. I had a God in my understanding, so I had to go through the step process and that's why they have a first step, second step a third step a fourth step and a fifth step so that i would be able to have an understanding of this sixth step when i got here and the understanding is that uh defects of character i can't remove and another key word in here is these defects of characters these coming from this meaning that which is near and present the defects of character that uh i am asking the god of my understanding to remove other defects of characters that are causing me pain that are caused in the the same things that i wrote about in the fourth step shared about in the fifth step that has been causing me pain and misery and these defects of character means that these things that are affecting my life now uh because i asked god to remove these defects of character i may be honest in in one area and completely dishonest in a in another area You know, I look at these defects See, these defects of character that I have The dishonesty I can remember as a young boy Getting my butt whooped for not telling the truth But I got the same whooping when I told the truth But sometimes the line works, you know. So what am I left to deal with? You know, I think of these defects of character as when I came into Narcotics Anonymous, my defects of characterize were my defense mechanism. And what was hard for me to understand was that I had to let go of them, you You know, when you start working these, you know, like the 12-step tells us to practice these principles in all our affairs. Well, I started getting honest on my job about, hey, if I made a mistake on the job, I'm a machinist. If I made an mistake, I wouldn't just put the part on the shelf so they wouldn't know who did it I was going on up to it come review time that kind of honesty didn't pay you know that kind honestly didn't pay at all but I was able bit being an addict like me I was one of those addicts that that never had any peace of of mine you know i was always worried about what lie i was going to get caught in next you know and to be able to well you know so it didn't pay much you know like but when i came into narcotics anonymous i got a hundred percent pay raise i took the mill man right out so being honest about my my work made me more vigilant at the work so in the long run it it pulled me up you know defects character another defective character that I had not alone with the dishonesty was trying to present myself I guess that's decided to trying to present myself as something that I'm not you know I am so grateful to Narcotics Anonymous and the step process for allowing me to be me. For so long, I never knew who I was, you know? I was always trying to be what I thought you wanted me to be in order for you to like me. And the real thing was I never got in touch with me so that I could like me, so I needed you to validate me so I could be me, and still wasn't me if you understand that you know but when we admit the exact nature of our wrongs and they are fifth step the step process slowly tells us that the exact nature of our wrongs are our character defects you know and my my shortcomings you know a lot of people give this thing of character defects is having a car with bad brakes and the shortcoming is driving that car knowing that the brakes is bad my first sponsor always gave it to me real simple my shortcomings are the effects of me acting out on my defects I cannot I can ask god to remove my character defects there's a spiritual principle that has to be put in place in order because this is a spiritual program in order for my character defect to be removed first of all i have to start practicing the spiritual principle of willingness i have to become willing to do what is necessary uh for the god of my understanding to work with me you know uh this program of recovery is a move away from being self-centered and to be in a god-centered individual so i'm when i'm asking god to remove my defects of character i got to practice the i got to be willing i got to be willing to do what is uh necessary for me to do in order for for the god of my understanding to come in to remove these defects i i myself am not in the defect removal business you know and but What I understand here is that when I ask God to remove a defect, I've got to be willing to put in some work. You know, our literature talks about so many times we are... So many times addicts have sought the rewards of hard work without the labor. So these steps do not work by magic. You can't get them by osmosis. And what you put in to the sixth step will be, the willingness that you put in will be directly proportionate to the freedom you receive out of the step. You know, it's a wonderful thing if you're one of those people that always had a cloud hanging over you because uh you just couldn't do it you just couldn't live right you just couldnt do things y'all I had to get out of the outcome business that's what the real deal is I had to get outta the outcome business my dishonesty directed me to con and manipulate people places in situations so that things would come out the way I wanted them to come up and and and if I did invite didn't go over the second step with a minimum amount of concern and I did a thorough third step and in that third step decision it's a it's the key thing that in that third step decision that I'll make a decision that the decision that I made in the third step was that hey instead of our seeking Jerry solutions I'm going to seek spiritual solutions I'm gonna have faith that the God of my understanding is going to want the best possible scenario to come out of a situation for me without me having to fix manage and control the situation so that the outcome will be to my liking all I have to do is do the right thing for the right reason and allow the God of my understanding to work in my life so that I can reap the benefits, this defect of dishonesty of conning and manipulating people, places, and situations so that I can get the results that I want. And a lot of times when I would con up on and game up on things, there was never anything lasting. You know? It didn't benefit me, you know? And And I realize that I know that now I've become aware that I'm a slipshot artist, that I'M dishonest. I'm aware that I don't put myself in those kind of situations. that, you know, I can ask for God to remove those things from me time and time again, but until I become willing to do something about it, I can't get anything out of it if I don't allow the God of my understanding to work with me. and willingness is the key thing in here. I've got to be willing to let go of those defects of character, you know, and like the way I see it, the defects of characters that I'm willing to Let Go Of, if I get willing toLet Go Of them, I stop acting out on them. There, ergo, the shortcoming, I can peel two birds with one stone right here with this step by becoming willing and doing what I need to do. You know, I don't think that the God of my understanding does not just bust tables. You know, I got to get up and do something. You know? There's something that I got to do. I got put something in. If I don't put nothing in, how can I expect anything else? You know there's this thing that's been hitting me from the first step and it works out why which what I do in the first step carries on through and through this program you know it says that the spiritual part of our disease that part that we may recognize only by a feeling of emptiness of loneliness when we first get clean is perhaps one of the most difficult aspects of our addiction because this part of our disease affects us so profoundly. We may, profoundly and so personally, we may be overwhelmed when we think about applying a program of recovery to it. However, we keep in mind that recovery doesn't happen for anyone overnight uh that's why it's very important to practice the uh spiritual principle of willingness so so uh if i become willing i align myself i'm aligning myself up to receive the gifts that this program has to offer this disease that i have wants to cut me, cut me out of it. You know, I have to, I'm at work and I know that I want to manipulate where I get the best of everything. So when they're gossiping about how bad this dude does on the job and how bad this dude does on the drop I can't get you know it's very easy for me to get caught up in that and put another person make another person have a bad name so that I can so that I will reap the benefits of it you know but today through through our through the help of this program I'm able to be able to have enough faith in myself that i can do things on my own you know that uh that the god of my understanding will do things will help me shine without me i don't have to tear your house down in order to make mine look good just basically like that you know and uh basically where I am with the sixth step is that I come to understand from doing a fourth and fifth step about things that were limiting me in growth you know how these things happen over and over again but when i come to the sixth step and it talks about we became entirely ready to have god remove these defects of character i'm talking about the defects of care that are wreaking havoc and causing pain today uh recently uh talking about this dishonesty stuff again and I really don't know. But recently, in June, I had a back operation, okay? And they're going to give me some money. And it seemed like I can't, because I know in the back of my mind that if the pain is still there, the money is going to be greater. and I don't know really sometimes whether I'm manufacturing this thing or you know but I really don't care all I want right now is the money to be paid see and like I have to be able to look at that just the way it is and say it just the way it is. I know I've asked God to remove this defect of dishonesty, but that ain't in that arena. That's in this arena. You know, I'm okay with it over here. That is why I understand that what the steps is that we became entirely ready to have God remove these defects of care to those that are present and near that are causing havoc in my life now. Those that are, that same defect is because the disease of addiction affects every area of my life, that saying defect is over here working. And when I become entirely ready to have that defect removed over here I have I know that the God of my understanding will work with me there but the key is I have to be willing to do that unwilling to do it here over here I'm not willing I'm willing because it isn't causing me any pain over here you You know, so if I ask for something to be removed, you ain't ready for it. I ain't really ready for that. You know? Give me my money. You know. So the thing that I realize is that there's spiritual principles embodied in the steps and the steps is is our solution that it's our process which we grow to grow and that uh there there come a day when i'm ready to work that you know i'm not going to get a diploma from this you know and and uh there there'll come a date when maybe i'll be ready to uh work that step over there you know and i know that uh i know that i'm not going to be graduating from narcotics anonymous and that that uh I'm gonna have to uh work steps all of my life you know. And uh this the steps is an ongoing process you know, and i would just like to close with Just letting a new person know that this step process works for anyone and that you don't have to be anyone special to get this process because the message of our program is that an addict any addict can stop using drugs lose the desire to use and find a new way of life it's available to us all man and that's why we we come out and share our experience strength and hope and i hope that someone got some kind of insight on how to apply this six and seven step in their life and with that I'll keep coming back we have another speaker I don't know much about it no more than a name but without further ado I'll give you, Linda. Hi, family. My name is Linda and I am an addict. It's so good to be here. I want to thank everyone for being here to share with me this weekend because that's how I grow and change, is being a part of this fellowship. And it demands rigorous honesty. It demands rigorous honestly from you people too. You know not to co-sign my bullshit. So you know that's helped me a lot in working with the defects that I have of my character. got a lot of them i'm telling you and i'm so glad that this is a process that this isn't an event that i know that as long as i stay pliable i don't know if any of you've ever worked with clay but when you have to get clay wet and you have to work with it you know to form it and i want to stay that way i want my higher power i want god to feel that i'm saying welcome dude please help me and that's what i feel now i'm so glad that the steps are written in it in the way that they are because if i would have come to this step like if this if six would have been one I don't want out the door, you know, and that's the beauty of this. You know, I like to think that, well, there's an old song, it goes, I'm just a big hunk of coal, but I'm going to be a diamond someday, and that's what a diamond was at one time, just a hunk of coal. And it got compressed and it allowed itself to be worked into this beautiful diamond. And that's what I'm doing. I'm just making myself available for God to work in my life on daily basis i'm glad that my higher power has a sense of humor oh man because we were sharing on the way here today driving here from ohio boy i get behind that drivers or i don't even have to be behind the steering wheel okay i could be in the back seat driver's seat and the other drivers can just wear all my patients away and i'm like gee money god what are you doing you know what who taught you to drive you know and i m like because all that does to me when i allow myself to get caught up into all that is make me sick it hurts me physically it hurts me mentally. It hurts me spiritually. And sometimes I think, oh, those little things don't matter, but those little thing do matter. It's all that little stuff that adds up at the end of the day. When I sit down and I think over my day and I think about maybe some things I might have said that I didn't have to say that. Sometimes I was rude, you know, on a daily basis. I look at that. And then I am allowing God to work in my life when I'm doing that, when I am not open to that like Jerry was sharing, when I are not making myself open to the influence of God. To that influence, to God's love working in my heart. I'm not going to go anywhere. I'm never going to change. And we never outgrow our need for change. Never. it's about change daily I need to change I need the change and that's where the sixth and seventh step comes in for me it says we were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character well you all know what something that an addicts had a hold of looks like when somebody's trying to Take it away from them. There are claw marks all over it. I mean, this thing is raggedy. Raggedy! And I am just not letting that happen, okay? There's a lot of defects of character that I have that I'm not allowing. Or I'm allowing little bits at a time, like we were talking about. It's a process. It's the process. They call it shortcomings, but they're really long goings, okay? Because it's a lifetime. It's going to take a whole lifetime for me to change. It is not going to happen overnight. And I got to remember that and that is why I am glad my God has got a sense of humor because I will get up in the morning and I be like well I don't want to be as arrogant today you know and then I'll find myself nose up in the air just like you know and I'm like oh I didn't want be that way today but I was if I don't change if i live my life in dishonesty i'm going to use and that's i know that and i came here at the end of my rope okay the end of the road i came because i needed this program i didn't know i needed this program when i walked in the door the first time of course but i learned how much this could change and that i didn't have to pick up i didn' t have to use today but if i'm not working these steps in my life on a daily basis i don't have any choice i'm going to use I'm sharing up here today because first someone else was supposed to share that had a number of years clean who used and what happened people put her up on a pedestal okay and that's a lonely place to be you're up there and you're alone and it's so important that we got do that people in the room when we talk about old-timers and newcomers you know we're all equal we are all equal we all get a daily reprieve from this disease just a daily retreat and the day we think that that's not true that we have some arrogant we got some time you know we know what's going on you know we work the steps that's scary and this this step especially the sixth and seventh step helps me to stay in touch with where I'm really at how I need to keep changing how I keep I need to keep growing in the scholarship we humbly ask him my god that is such an important word humbling ask to remove I have to work every day to allow myself to be humble and when I can do that and when i can look at everyone through the eyes of the seventh step then i can humbly remind myself that i don't have to do those five cent inventories you all know what i'm talking about where you you know we're so busy taking other people's inventories and we're not looking at ourselves i can go on and look at that person and realize that they also are working on letting go of their shortcomings that they are open to change and when i can look at that when i that attitude of gratitude to to look at someone realizing that they're trying they're working on changing the same as i am then then i can get rid of one character defects that arrogance it keeps me alone okay that trying to my disease he wants me alone in the corner to cut my throat that's what my disease wants and my disease is constantly working to try to make me feel like i'm not a part of this fellowship okay this disease is always telling me uh well like jerry was sharing you know he thought he came in here and it was he was too old to be here you know well you know my disease wants to tell me you don't fit in here you're older you know you you just don't fit and you know what just for today i'm not going to let my disease drive because i fit here this is all i have where am i going to go if i don't have na i earned that seat and I'm going to keep on coming back because I want the spiritual beauty that is offered in this program. I'm dying of thirst here. God, you know, like I said, I didn't know what I was going to share when I got up here, but I sure needed to share. And that's what I'm sharing for myself here today. You know, it's so important for me that I stop trying to be something that I'm not. Just so I can feel like I'm going to fit in here. I find myself doing that. And I don't like that feeling at all. You know that ugly feeling. You know like, I want to be myself today. even with all I accept my shortcomings that's really important I have to accept it because through acceptance comes understanding if I don't accept yes I have these shortcomings i don't even know what i'm asking god to take from me and if i keep this up on a daily basis daily basis staying in today keeping it really simple that's all i can hope for some more insight uh i can feel god changing me sometimes you know it's like a nudge a pool i mean like you don't need this anymore i can feel that and it's yeah okay and it feels good but then i take it back because i just feel sometimes um like i'd be lost without some of character defects they make they make me who i am and that's a scary scary i mean there it is fear i'm working through that fear though i got 12 years clean okay whoever got up earliest this morning has the most clean time in this room this morning and if you didn't go to bed i don't know how you'd figure that one out but whatever you know as we get some time we can get more hope we can look forward to things and know that that quite possibly in another month you're going to be able to go to the indiana convention you know or you know but But I don't want to ever get too far ahead of myself here, okay? I've got to stay in today. I keep on doing what I'm doing, hopefully, and open up to change. I always say we'll never outgrow our need for change. If we're not in here, oh, thanks, dear. I've Got So Many Friends in this fellowship. I really do. and they really care for me now my disease wants to tell me these people don't care for you okay I just went through some really bad times where I was I was at the Worldwide Convention our worldwide workshop that we just had up here in Chicago and I went there's some emotional stuff and I'm laying there dead and and I'm feeling all I think all the hell with it I'm just gonna get up I'm gonna go down the bar I'm going to use and it was like yeah you're gonna go out and use your at them in a worldwide workshop and you know you're going downstairs you know and and i laughed at myself about that you know but today you know I can I have little fleeting things like that but today I don't want to take control of my life okay I don't have to act out on all those bad feelings that I have okay but there I was but you know I what I did was reach down deep inside of me where my higher power lives and I felt God's presence surrounding me and holding me and saying it's gonna be okay breathe Linda breathe and the next thing I knew I was waking up okay and it was morning But to find such comforting shelter with God, the God that I ran through from so much. I didn't want to face God in my act of addiction. I did not want that and God didn't want me i was sure god didn't love me but i found out in recovering that god never abandoned me that god is what is there when i take away the distance that god is always with me and god is working on me as i speak up here God is beautiful and going to make me beautiful oh yeah if I allow it and it's all up to me you know this recovery is my responsibility nobody else is going to come down here and work my steps for me call you know call people when I need to it's all up to me it's a hell of a responsibility it really is but it's mine and I have to own you know we were I ran from responsibility I ran for my children when I was using I didn't want you know I didn t want anything in my life that was going to get in the way of my highs didn't want you know hell with that no i went to work when i felt like it i didn't i never held a job very long everything but today is a whole new ball wax today i know what i need to do and for me that's what how those principles work in my life is i take personal responsibility just for today i can only do what i need to do today to take care of myself you know i like to look at it this way god is not going to come down here and put new tires on my car when i know i need tires on the car okay but god's going to be there with me when i'm standing at the side of the road crying in the rain because i have a flat tire and i don't have a spare because i didn't take care of what i needed to take care of and it's the same way in working my program if i don t work these steps if i don't go meetings if i don't call people if i don't do what i need to do to recover and to change and to get rid of these defects slowly over a lifetime i want to emphasize that slowly over a lifetime god's still going to be there with me god is there and it's always going to be there so I just always want to remember as long as I stay open and honest and willing that I will change and it doesn't take all the pain it used to when I was really in recovery I remember saying to my sponsor I said, God, I wish it wouldn't take pain for me to want to change. And she said, why don't you ask God if it could take less pain for you to change? And that has stuck with me. And today it does take. I don't have to be laying on the bathroom floor, kicking and screaming and crying And feeling totally schizoid, it doesn't take that much pain now for me to realize that I need to make some changes in my life here. And such simple things can trip us up. I mean, it's amazing. We're addicts. Things really, I mean we make mountains out of molehills and I find myself doing that a lot. Still today it's a process so you know we'll just keep on coming back. You know if you've seen me around I'm losing my eyesight, I've got an eye disease called macular degeneration and and I'm losing my sight and you know I found out about this ten years ago and it's been a slow process till now I'm like I can I can almost see my friends here in the second row but just because I know who they are but if I didn't know who were I wouldn't know okay but I didn' pick up over this my disease wanted me to my disease said oh look you got clean okay what good did it do you you're going to be a blind person go on these damn meetings but you know I didn't have to pick up over this and I'm learning to ask for help I've even got a cane now of course a lot of that that that cane is for another problem I'm having. I'm telling you, this aging process. I'm not kidding you. You know, I mean, when I was 40 and I came in these rooms, oh hell, I could go to these things, I could be in the room, I could share a room with 12 people, step over bodies, you know, to get to the bathroom. Today, no, I can't do it, okay? I gotta have a mattress. i have to have quiet i have to have a bathroom that's available when i need it you hear me i mean just a little while ago there's one of my character defects they had a sign up over the woman's bathroom that said temporarily out of order i'm like you ain't talking to me okay i went in that bathroom i didn't care who was in there because i had to pee and i had to pee now okay see and that is it you know i mean i could have really embarrassed somebody in there that was in there you know I don't know why would they do that to me see they did that to me I had to pee and they put up a temporarily out of order sign that's my disease thinking and the day I think I don t have disease thinking I better recheck everything because something is wrong. So I don't know what time it is. I hope that you all will keep on allowing God to change you, to mold you and remember that it's going to take a lifetime but you're gonna be a diamond someday just don't pick up because that'll cancel every damn thing so I love y'all thanks for being here for me and there's no chair so i'll just say uh i guess we're leaving Hi family, we still have 15 minutes if anyone wants to comment. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can't, and the wisdom to know the difference. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It's not devilish. Thank you. You know, it's like, keep going. I think there's more often than you can work out what the heck they do at the end of the day. Discussion. Oh, okay. I mean, no, I didn't work out. I worked here during the war. Discussion process. Just because I was right doesn't mean I wasn't a fish. So what is that? How do you know? It's like a monster. Yeah. Check one in. They're like monkeys and stuff. Okay. I don't know why we're here. I'm just north of where he is. Yeah, you got there. No, no. Oh. Why are you blue-tailed? I was there. Yeah. I came in on that. 70 and then took my pants to 55. And it's 250 miles in three hours. I was running late, so I was pushing my way through. Oh, well, besides that, we might need to get behind the snowplow. We should get out of here. It's snowing. It's pouring. We're getting a few lights in the face. I think it's the time of year where you have to have a blizzard. I've never had a blister. Well, if I do, it's like, okay, that probably wasn't good. I thought Ohio was going to stick around, not the track for being on the interstate. You know, they get out in the passing lane and they just kind of separate themselves They got eaten. As I already know. Yeah, just to go out and play with a little buffalo. Buffalo had their ass kicked. They started early. I saw that! Yeah, I went back to Australia and I had a house affair from Toronto. Well, I don't know. well thanks for being here hey what happened to my phone i was going down Oh, I'm going to go back to the room. Are you guys coming out together? And I'll call you. I mean, I was just going to kind of hang out and head out and learn. I could have went somewhere along the line, you said when you were going to the bank. You're going to bank right? Yeah. Are you going to go to the Bank? Yeah, I'm going to Bank right now. So I'll call you and I'll tell her and we'll get together. Okay. What time is it? I'm out here. No, she's got one hour. Thank you, thank you.