Jack G. at the 53rd ICYPAA – 2011

About This Speaker Tape

Long Beach, fog rolling off the bay, and 4,000 of the undead celebrating inside while the doomed wander the alleys outside. Jack G. doesn't start with a soft touch; he starts with the wreckage. He spent years as a "book guy," tearing the Big Book apart line by line to control the program and pin his Higher Power down to a single phrase. It took a Jesuit brother telling him to shut his mouth and walk on the beach to realize he was just trying to manage the chaos.

Jack paints a gritty picture of the "fatal illness"—a gun to the head with the trigger cocked. He mocks the "golden ovary syndrome" of the sober who suddenly dislike drunks, claiming he loves the defiance of the wreckage. From living in a house where insanity was the norm to the "scam" of the Big Book's pitch, Jack describes a life of warrants, purple hair, and a bong hit that erased 30 days of sobriety. He credits his sobriety to a man who didn't lecture him, but died at 21.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Jack G. opens with the image of the 'undead' celebrating while the fog rolls in.
• 4:15 Laughter: Jack describes his phase of judging other members for not doing the program 'right' based on his research.
• 7:30 The turning point: Brother Charlie tells Jack to stop talking and walk on the beach to listen.
• 11:45 Jack breaks down the 'small print' of the Big Book's promises and the reality of service.
• 15:20 Stories about his mother's enabling and the 'insanity' of his home life.
• 21:10 Discussion on the 'fatal illness' of alcoholism and the danger of court-ordered sobriety.
• 26:40 The 'bong' relapse and the 'strange mental blank spots' mentioned in the Big Book.
• 31:15 The emotional weight of Don L.'s death and Jack's sobriety date: January 8, 1989.
• 35:00 Closing thoughts on the 'inner resource' and the importance of loving others to save oneself.