Interconnectedness of the Steps – 4 Seasons Workshop – Part 5 of 8 – Don

my sponsor made me no no no that's just like pride talk so we thought why is my sponsor made me do this might no they don't see we are fully accountable for this uh you know ourselves so i think it's important when we take a look at steps to align our will see that we do we do it because we want to do it but then there's consequences for those choices so what we want to do next is we want to take a look at this interconnectedness of the steps and so what we're going to do is this an overview remember when we talked this morning it's about harmony balance interconnected everything is interconnected to each other spirit and intent two roads see the red road the other road So we want to take a look at the interconnectedness of steps to see if they make sense. Because the steps, they're not designed for fear. They're not a fear-motivated process or something else. So we just want to takes an overview look at these steps. Then that person can decide, is this something I want to do? Because who would want to do something if you don't know what the outcome is going to be? Now, the big book, it talks about some outcomes. It says, having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, remember, well that's talking about the odds. So it doesn't say, maybe I'll have one, or kind of possibly am I. It pretty much states, it will happen. Like a law. You work the steps, you get the result. So if you're on a spiritual awaken, then do them. If you don't want one, then don't do it. But maybe you can get it another way. See? And then he talks about rarely have we seen a person fail. Now what are those odds? 50-50? See? 80-20? What? Like rarely have We Seen a Person Fail? But he doesn't say to do it any way you want either. He says rarely have WE Seen a person who has thoroughly done it this way. So the steps is about a precision way of doing very, very precise because as we see, the steps is about an implementation of laws from an unseen world about these principles that it talks about. So as we take a look at these steps we're going to just kind of make them like a building block to show how they all interconnect. So in step one there is two parts for this step. But every one of the steps it also has, each of the steps it has a principle. One of these principles that he's talking about so as we do these it says in step one that principle is an honesty. That's what that step is about about honesty. So there's two parts to that step the first part is to admit we're powerless over alcohol Then the second part is to admit our lives are unmanageable. So, you see, the thing about admission, admission is the key to power. You know there's this line that says, like, let go. As soon as you do, it's let God. Surrender, as soon as você forcer, para ganhar. so it's that admitting of that is what transitions us into that place of that power that thing we're looking for so in the first half we need to look at the powerlessness over alcohol now in this workbook on page 11 there are like guidelines as to where in the big book are the instructions for each part of those steps That's where the instructions are. So what we're going to do is just look at an overview of these steps. So we look at powerlessness over alcohol in the first one. And then in the second half of the first step, there are nine areas to look at in terms of unmanageability. Personal relationships, emotional nature, full of fear. so there's nine specific areas to look at in those steps that's one of the workshops we're going to do is a practice looking at those nine areas all we want to say right now is there are nine areas then when we take and look at step two step two that principle is hope so there's 9 areas of information that we look at in step 1 we bring that information to step two. So, we connect from step one to step three, those nine areas. Then that step that says came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. So, what we do in step two is we look at non-manageability and in step three it's came to belief that a part greater than ourselves could. So, one of the things we'll do in step two is we will create a vision in nine areas of our lives. So we bring, if I take a look at in step one, say for example the personal relationships and I'm able to see where they're broke, then I bring that to step two, then I ask myself this question, as he came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could, well what would this relationship look like if it worked? So I'm always asking myself this question, is there a power that exists that could make my relationship successful? See, if you take a look at the word sanity in the dictionary, it means having a sound mind, soundness of mind. So I see where the relationship is broke in step one. In step two, I take a Look at, well, what would it look like if it was working? How would I have me be in it? No matter what that relationship did, how would I have me being? So we recreate a vision in step two. And then the question is, am I willing to believe that there's a power that could make that happen? Or am I remotely willing to believe that there's an idea of a power that could make that happen? Am I kind of willing to possibly believe that maybe a million divided by ten, there is one zillionth of an ounce. Am I willing to believe? Any of those are more than enough to make it work. So what I end up doing in step two is setting a vision in nine areas of my life. Personal relationships. So the question when we do step two, is not how is this power going to do it? Or when is this power going to do it? But can the power, is there a power? Am I willing to believe that there's a power that will do that? So we create a vision in nine areas of our life. Now if we just momentarily go up and look at step 12, it says having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, the vision that you set in step two is the spiritual awakening that you get in step 12. And that's all you get, no more and no less for that pass through the steps. So once you set the vision, then these steps remove the obstacles that block, and when the obstacles are removed, you get that vision. So that vision that's set in step 2 is the spiritual awakening in step 12, if that makes any sense. Then once we do that, we'll go to step 3. of which that principle is faith. Now, I used to wonder sometimes about made a decision to turn my life and my will over the care of the Creator, God. Then I would say, why would I want to turn this will thing over anyway? And where is it? And why is it such a big deal to turn that will over? Because you see, from step 3 through step 11, all of that work is done on the will. That's where the work is it's done. It's not done on my brain, my mind and all that stuff. It is done on the Will. So let's just say that I could draw the Will in a box and in this Will there would be certain things that I do I could be dishonest, I could be selfish but there are certain things that's in my will. Now, if we had, say, a mountain and on this mountain there was a, say this was a lake, had water in it, then say down the mountain I lived in this house and that I would have, say a river would come out of that lake and I would take a little pipe out of the river and I would run that into my house and that's where I get my drinking water. So if that water tastes like crap, see, is there anything wrong with the faucet? Is there anything along with the river? So what I need to do is if it tastes funny, I need go back to where is it causing that to taste funny? So if the results in my life are not right, then I need to chase that back so the relationships between the lake so the lake is the will the river, the water I'm tasting is the results so if I want to change the results of my life then it might be to my advantage to turn the lake over to the creator as it is with all the junk everything exactly how it is so in step three it's just taking it as it is not cleaning it up you see very often we confuse this turning the wheel over with our feelings so we go through this thing we turn it over one day and then we say to the next day well I took it back then I turned it over and then I took It back what a day turning this wheel over and taking It back but you see when you take that third step it isn't that way once you turn your life over to the creator now the best way I've heard it said is this guy one time in AA he told me this story about he said he's talking about step three and he said there was these four frogs sitting on a log one day he said one of those frogs made a decision to jump in the water so then he said to me he said now how many frogs is on that log I said well there's three he said no there's four one of those frogs just decided to jump in the water but he said the difference is he said when you turn your life over the care of the creator then he would like that frog once you decide he makes that frog a different color he makes her frog orange so when that frog decides to jump in the water or we decide to turn our will over, the creator makes you an orange frog. You will never be a green frog again. So what happens if you get pissed the next day? You're a pissed off orange frog. See after you take that step. What happens if you get angry? You are an angry orange frog Once you cut the deal with a creator then you can't say well make me green I'm going to be orange. Well I'm gonna be green No. Whatever it is after that You are orange, so you go drink again. You're a drunk orange frog. So you cannot go back and forth. So we've got to understand that that is a decision. That decision is of the will. That I take that will and I turn it over to the care of the Creator. So we take this will like it is and we shift it to the carer God. So once we are able to do that, Then we come to the fourth step. And what the fourth step is, is a way to do an examination on the will. So we keep continuing to experience another principle. So in this first step, there is three parts to this inventory. There's a resentment inventory, a fear inventory, and a sex inventory. The resentment inventory is done in five columns. So you put the name of the person with whom you have a resentment against, second column you put what they did, the third column is where you actually, you put in the third column one or more of up to seven things. This is where your inventory, the ego, the eagle masks are revealed. The fourth column in the resentment inventory is where we come out with a list of character defects. You actually get the name. You get the Name of the Flaw that's in the will. So you end up with a list of those defects. Then the fifth column is, you get the Names of the person to whom you owe amends. That happens in the Resentment Inventory. Then The Fear Inventor is done in four columns. First column is the name of the fear, why do I have it, did self-reliance fail and what should I have done instead? Then the sex inventory is done in either seven columns or nine columns depending upon how sexually active one is. If there hasn't been that much happening, seven column works pretty good. If you've been tearing it up, then nine columns seems to be better to do because you can see the patterns. Because in the inventory you want to be able to see the pattern. Then in the sixth column of the sex inventory is where you come out with a list of the names in that area of amends, that you make amends. Then we take that inventory when we are done and we do that fifth step. We admit to ourselves, to the Creator and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Then when that is done we do steps six and seven. Six and seven, the information for steps six and seven comes out of the inventory. So in the fourth column of the resentment inventory is the list of defects that you take to steps six and seven. The fifth column of the inventory is the list of names that you take to Steps eight and nine. It's all linked together, it's interconnected to one another. now all of this work is always done see the the steps are after step three the steps are all done on the ego they are not done on you know how you say like sometimes you write inventory you say well you got to write the truth about yourself you're really not writing the truth about yourself you're writing about the lie about yourself you know the saying says that truth shall set you free well if what you are writing about doesn't make you feel free then you must be writing on something other than the truth whatever it is you're writing it's not the truth you're riding about the lie does that make sense so you really you're relying really all on ego it is all ego information that you're writing on. So as you progress up through these steps, another way to look at it is you kind of go through a tunnel in this sense. You work steps one, step two, step three, step four, step five. And when you do steps six and seven where you ask the creator to remove the defective character and you're willing to have him do so, it is at that point that a transformation takes place in the will. So let's say that I discover in the inventory that I have a lot of selfishness in the Will. And in a way, what this whole process on the Will looks like, you ever remember a long time ago they have this style where you'd buy these coffee tables and you could put pictures on them and you can paint that plastic on there so you could see the pictures but you couldn't get to them. That's kind of the way the will is. At first some stuff gets in there and then you can't get at it so you're just that way no matter what you do. But then you take that will and you turn it over. In other words, you change those pictures, whatever that is. You're going to have the creator do it. So the first thing that happens in the inventory is I start to identify what those particular instances are in the will. When I do a fifth step that would be like going to that table with a big chisel and chipping off that plastic coat that won't let you get to it. That's what the fifth step does. It makes it available. So fifth step, it removes the plastic but the pictures are still there. When I do steps six and seven, once I see like I'm selfish or judgmental or I lied, when I become willing to have the creator so my job is to not remove it. My job is to be willing to have him do it. So if I say am willing to have him remove my selfishness then he takes that away remember it's a polarity system what do you think he will put back in my will? Pardon? Probably. So if i'm dishonest if i am irresponsible so what happens is he starts to put those principles from the red road back into my will now have you ever noticed for those of you who have worked step 6 and 7 you ever notice right after you do it everything turns to shit so when he says it didn't work but when he turns to crap it means it did work because you see when I go through that tunnel of steps 6 and 7 when I come out of it I come up with a will change in other words what happens is my will is changed but my head's got the old stuff in it yet so a conflict occurs so the concept is conflict precedes clarity when I have alignment to the will when my will says I choose to be an asshole and my head says you are one I have no conflict isn't that right but when the will changes now all of a sudden I'm in conflict because my head doesn't know yet the creator made a change so it always seems to be worse but it's not worse I mean it is worse but that's healthy that says now the will is going to start to drive the change. Because now I'm trying to figure out who am I now? Because I don't know who I am and I won't start to see that until after I start to get that feedback that conflict occurs. So in step six and seven it seems to be worse. Then it gets better. That's because of that tunnel that we go through so the will has transformed right here. Now, very often we really struggle in steps six and seven. You see, there's this story, it says about this person that's baking a cake so they get all the flour and sugar and all that and they put it in this pan, you know. Turn on the stove, get to 350, get that stove all heated up and they pour that batter into this pan and smooth it out with a spatula or whatever. They take it to the stove. Open up the door. It occurs. So I step six and 70. It seems to be worse. then it gets better. That's because of that tunnel that we go through so the will is transformed right here. Now very often we really struggle in steps six and seven. You see, there's a story it says about this person who's baking a cake so they get all the flour and sugar and all that and they put it in this pan, you know, turn on the stove, get to 350, get that stove all heated up and they pour that batter into this pan smooth it out with a spatula or whatever they take it to the stove, open up the door they stick the cold cake in there and close the door now if you want that cake to bake what you have to do is leave that door shut well what would happen if I put that thing in there well how is it, well how's it doing now I open it up if I keep messing with it in other words I keep examining it and keep questioning it well when's he going to do it well obviously it isn't today it's been going on now you see 14 out if we keep doing that in other words you have to put yourself in the oven and don't peek let the creator bake you whatever happens even like you get pissed off that doesn't mean this step didn't work it just means you become pissed off but if we take that and then we start to peek in that trying to do something about ourselves see the step says you just become, you just say to the creator, I am willing to have you remove it. That's it. That's like nothing more to do. Let him handle it. But if I start to peek in there, so you keep interfering with it, then it takes longer. So, we get the list of character defects Step 6 and 7, column 5, and then there's, I think, column 4 in the sixth inventory is the list of the amends for step 8 and 9. And it's from 8 and nine where we make our amends. So when we look at that process of looking at the steps in a circle, then it says we are now at that point in the steps where in 8 and 9 that's where we start to set ourselves right with other people. First we set ourselves we find a relationship with the creator then in the south with ourselves and then step 7, 8, and 9 we look at our relationships with others. That's where we start too. See at the level of spirit and intent if you remember that if I'm out of harmony with you and we're interconnected, I'm also then out of harmony with myself. So when I go and set myself right with you, then I set myself right with me. So I really get the ability to be at one with the Creator from you. It's by setting myself with you if I have an amend to make? See, I cannot pretend. Like, I can't be mad at you and pray myself into being at one with the Creator because we're interconnected. So it's when I set myself right with you, then all of a sudden I set my self right with me. And that's why we need to look at making those amends and then we set our self right with others. Then we come to these maintenance steps, steps 10 and 11. and these are the steps where then we maintain that new picture. It's a daily maintenance step where we pray every morning, check ourselves during the day and then we also constructively review the day in the evening. Then a 12th step it says we go give this away. So the steps are just they're an interconnected system in a very orderly fashion. these are all laws that allow us to change ourselves. So can you see where this would be damaging? It's like finding the pay value to do the steps. That's why you can't skip around because there's information that you need from the one before it to go ahead and to make it work. Then that's why I started to see they would say do them in order but it didn't make sense to me until I started to see the whole picture Indians are stubborn as heck sometimes now I understand why it has to be done in order now I'm willing to do that because I didn't know it was interconnected you see, in this way around that whole circle is how all these things would happen so now I say I'll do it I want to do it like that so is there any questions on this interconnectedness of the steps in relationship to what yeah you always start in the east at least that's the entry point and we starts there again so I see what you're saying so you want to start the steps over yes so your says your question that do I need to go make all those amends I made to someone else again? No. But did you miss any? Obviously I must have missed you a lot, otherwise I wouldn't have gone out. So this is why I'm finding it very fascinating in looking at it from a different angle. Well maybe when we get through that we'll talk about slipping and how does it happen does it happen spiritually? Any other questions on this? Alright. Then the last thing we want to do is look at, look at the enemy to the steps that isn't an enemy once you see what the enemy looks like, quite seems like an enemy. And that enemy is ourselves. But every time, like when we make any type of a change or we look at going for something, you notice there's this, sometimes there's a tension or stress system. It just starts to kick in and you just, it feels like this, it can't be right. So one of the things we want to look at next is we want to take a look at how information is stored within our mind and then what happens to us after that information is scored in our mind, what happens to us if we start to mess with it or make changes. So we're going to take a brief look at that. So, we're gonna look at thought process, how thoughts are processed. There's three parts to a thought process. One of them is a conscious process, one is our subconscious, and one is something called the creative subconscious. So how information gets inside of us is through our senses, our eyes, hearing, smell. So in other words, as I go through the day, I'm always looking. I'm also always smelling. I'm always listening. So I have like a little radar system that's constantly scanning the seen world. So I have senses for the seen world then I have a sixth sense for the unseen world. So I'm able to see, I'm able to sense in the unseen world but the biggest value of these senses are just so I don't run into tables and if I don't stumble into things other than that there's not a whole lot of value in terms of trusting that what I see is really there. But I do have the ability to function in the seen world, listen, smell, taste, touch. So it's through my senses that information comes into me. Then I take that information that I see and I store it in terms of beliefs, habits, attitudes, expectations. Or maybe I could call that my version of truth. So you'll hear us say, let me tell you a fact. Let me tell You the truth. Well, is it really the truth or is it just your version of it? Is it in terms of the truth? Or maybe we could call this it stores and it creates reality. So I put these in quotes because it may not really be reality. it may only be my version of it so as i perceive a situation there's two questions that we as human beings are constantly asking ourselves all the time so one of the questions i'm always asking myself this thousands of times a day is have i seen anything like this before so i'm also doing some type of an association have i heard anything like this before have i smelled anything like this before, see? So my mind has a following system. So as it watches during the day, it's always asking that question so it knows where to put it. It's a following system. I'm always asking, have I seen anything like this before? So let's say for example that I live next to somebody here in Albuquerque. They're really a jerk. Geez, I just can't stand them. Right next door. So you have nothing to do with them. You just ignore them. So let'S say one night the phone rings and a friend from Denver calls up and says, hey, guess what? I just won the lottery. I'll pay. Party time. Come on up. See, I'll play for you. So you hop on a plane. So you go up to Denver. You go to stay with that friend early Saturday in the evening. You hear a little noise downstairs. You got your snagging clothes on. See? Go downstairs. You go in the kitchen and get a little drink, a little snack. And you walk in the living room where the noise is and all of a sudden you see this person looks like that person who lives next door to you at home, that jerk. And you look like that at that person and you step back into the kitchen, you know, lean against the wall, you chug your drink and you say, I don't believe it. I thought God would only make one, but he surprised me, he made two. One in Albuquerque, now here's this jerk standing there in the living room. Now you know absolutely nothing about this person. Not truth. It's the first time you've seen them. Then you talk to them. But see, the mind is saying, have I seen anything like this before? Yeah. One in Albuquerque? No, here's another one. Right? Then it goes on to ask another question that we usually don't know consciously, but we're doing a type of evaluation, so we're always asking ourselves, we perceive, see, we associate, then we ask, is this going to be good for me or will this be bad for me? bad for money then we decide I'll have nothing to do with him either it doesn't matter if I talk to him I can smell jerks this one is a jerk now you really know nothing about them right now let's just say for example another one let's say I've been in six relationships over the last two years seem I can get those little hummers but I can't keep them so I get in relationship number one you know you smile at her and she smiles at you and you do all the kissy-poo and everything is really good and then you have a little snot, you know, a little fight and then your makeup and it gets a little bit worse and you bawl and you promise to stay together and then pretty soon the knock-down drag-out comes and zippo, that one's gone. So all of that experience is recorded here. All the things you think about what is going on is recorded to here in relationship number one and you get out of it. You say, no problemo, lot of fish in the sea for me. It's nothing. Let it go. So then you go down to the place and you find relationship number two, whatever that is. So you get relationship number three and you go through relationship number four and there's all the... And then you're irritated and then you break, lose them. Zippo, that one's gone. I just hunt in a different part of the ocean. There's a lot of fish in the sea. So each one of these relationships, all six of them, you go through them over a period of two years, and pretty soon you say, I've got to get myself together here. I've Got to Take a Little Break from Relationships. So you decide to take a break. So you get on to the bookstore, you get all the self-help books, I'm okay, you're okay, you're dysfunctional, I'm dysfunctional. You get all these books, these self-helped books, to get yourself together, and you read them all. And then you stay home painting, you know learn a little music or whatever but you do nothing so you say you're out of relationship six months one night you sit and your phone rings Jesus is your friend from Denver you never believe this I won the lottery twice we're going to really party this time why don't you come on up you say hot dog I'm ready see I've been on my own six months so you fly up to Denver see same deal upstairs hear a little noise downstairs put on snagging clothes come back into the kitchen get a little drink little snack. And you walk into the living room with your drink and your snack, and all of a sudden you perceive this relationship. She's looking at you, there's a big pearly show on, see? You're not sure it's you, so you look to make sure. So you've got to always do that. Make sure, you know, that it's YOU, because we've all seen that before. And as soon as you sense that it is you, well, the senses perceives a relationship. Have I seen anything like this before uh-huh six times and what is this leading me towards well nothing good you know something you tell yourself there are no good indian men left you know some all the good ones are taken there ain't none left in fact so and so said so-and-so said so and so else said there's none left if i ain't no good man left anywhere they're all junk I am destined to live forever with junk. All the men are bad. Now, is that the truth? Well, have you talked to those 80 million that you have not met yet? Well, no. But have you seen anything like this before? Uh-huh. And what is this leading me towards? See, nothing good. So we decide. Now, we need to realize that this version of truth that's recorded in our minds also is recorded in three dimensions. It's recorded in words that trigger pictures that have with it a feeling or emotion. So you have the words that picture in guilt feelings. Words picture joy feelings. Words picture fear feelings. So this version of truth is always recorded, you see, in three dimensions as my version of the truth. And we are always asking ourselves, now the point we need to know about how this thought process works is we are always making now-time decisions based on past, previously recorded information. Right? We're always evaluating what's going on now based on passed, previously reported information. We need to know we work that way. Now, when we look at this creative subconscious, it has some functions. One of them we're going to talk about is one of the functions of the creative subconscious is to make sure that I maintain sanity. Sanity means that whatever my version of truth is, this creative subconscious' job is to make sure I act like that version. And anytime I act different than that version of truth, it will introduce anxiety, tension or stress into my system. Anytime I act different than the picture. So I have, for example, many pictures or images of who I think I am. As long as I act like that picture, I'm okay. If I start to act different than that picture, tension, anxiety or stress occurs in my system. If I started to think about acting different, tension and anxiety and stress will start to occur in my system. So if I say that I walked a long time on this black road and I just started thinking of becoming spiritual or I start thinking about it, as soon as I even start thinking about it, tension starts to occur in the system. You see, this creative subconscious, its job is to always make sure I act like the picture. Like for example, let's say for example, I have a picture or an image here that I believe I'm a shy person. I can't talk in front of people. And that's the picture? The creative subconscious' job is always to make sure you act like that picture. But let's just say, for some reason I had to get up talking in front of people. Ever notice what happens? See, as you get up to talk in front of people, a little while before you get up there, your palm starts to get sweaty, get real sweaty palms. Then you'll notice that your stomach will start to flutter. You get like butterflies in your stomach. Well, it sends a signal from the brain to release gastric juices into the stomach even though there's no food and it starts to make it flutter and it'll even affect your respiratory system so pretty soon your breathing just gets out to sink. You just can't seem to get your breath. And it'll go to your mouth and it'll shut off the flow of saliva. So you get what's called cotton mouth. No spit. Your tongue gets big. Grab a glass of water. You drink it. And you swallow it and nothing gets wet. It just goes straight on down. And it will go to your vocal cords and it will stretch the muscles in your vocal chords. So it stretches so when you talk your voice cracks or it sounds funny. And even though you have that information about the subject of which you want to talk about, it might be something you just love and you know a lot about it, it will shut down the function of recall. When you get up there, all of a sudden your mind goes blank. So there you are, there already, sweating and ready to puke and you're making funny noises, you can't remember shit, and all of the sudden you see, now what is going on? Why does that happen? The creative subconscious, when the senses see you acting not like you, That's when it happens. It goes to correct for the mistake, and that's how it does it. Psychologically, physiologically, it will do things to your body to get you back to act like the person you believe yourself to be. If there is a fight between success and sanity, which one do you think wins? You can count on it. Sanity always wins. until I change the picture. So you see, when we come in and we start working steps, we need to know this is going to go on. And what we're going to really be looking at is not the truth about us. We're goingto be looking about the junk. We want to find what is inside of our minds, what words, pictures, and feelings, what situations, where have I been living my life out of harmony? I want to know that. You see, what is causing my life to be unmanageable? Give me the name. Give me this story. I'll take it. Because I need to know that in order to fix it. So we need to learn We need to understand that this process is going on inside of our minds. So when you get that fear feedback, that's not fear. It's just a tension system. It's a feedback system inside of your mind. just the thought of changing sometimes. See, we'll do it. Let's say, for example, you have somebody who's been in an abusive relationship. Say for, I don't know, five, six, seven years. Just had a hell beat out of them. Stomped on makeup. I promise, I love you if you don't. But over a period of time, you just really end up with an image of self or feelings of low worth and all that. then let's say you dump that person take a break go to a safe house or wherever get everything back together then you say I'm going to start dating again have you ever noticed people who have been abused what type of relationship they usually end up in again very similar or one that's married to an alcoholic will go and marry another alcoholic but you ever notice if you know some of them like let's just say that one of their dating that they, say an abuser they end up with a person who's just really good to them Jesus guys he sends them flowers and always trying to hug them and touch them and be intimate you know it's very often what will happen there they will sabotage that relationship very creatively do something to drive that relationship away and your friend will come by and they'll say excusez-moi that one was the keeper that was the one you should have took home to mama why did you do that I don't know you know he just drove me nuts he just irritated touching me and telling me this shit you know I don' t know I don''t know it just drove me crazy but do you see if you have that picture and you know how you should be treated in your sense to see you being treated like you shouldn't be treated, what's going to happen? The creative subconscious will put anxiety, tension, or stress in your system to correct for the mistake. It's a mistake for you to be treated good. It's an error It's not a mistake for you to be treating kind. So very creatively go with things to do to correct for it. You see, somebody who's been abused can go into a room of say 500 healthy men. Three of them are sick. They can walk in that room just stand there and if there's three sick ones in there for them they'll have them lined up right in front of them in about 30 seconds without saying a word how the hell do I get so lucky I always pick the same one and very often your friends will say you know that's the seventh one you picked only thing you change is the color of their hair everyone's always this one's different and then six months down the road you say, how come I didn't see it? How can I be comfortable with somebody like that? See, you can be comfortable living in hell once you get used to it. You can be uncomfortable being treated like crap. To be treated good can be uncomfortable. Got creative subconscious always correcting for the mistake until we change the picture. So when we look at these steps, all we're doing is we're going and looking at misinformation, not the truth about who you are, But the junk that keeps us in a way. You take many of us are raised in native communities. What kind of mistruth do we have in there about who people told us that we were and we believed it? You know the story, you see on television the story of the Wizard of Oz? Everybody see that? There's Dorothy, Scarecrow, the Tin Man, right at the line. They got lost. They wanted to see this good witch or whoever it was. They said, we're lost. they said, well, go to the land of Oz. There's a wizard there that can help you. He'll help you get back home. See, so off they went to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz? They went out to see the wizard because of the wonderful things he does. He's got the power, you know. What do you suppose he could? Oh, yeah, the wizard could. Yeah, he can do that. So if you remember when he got to the land of Os, first of all, that wizard didn't have the power. That wizard was a fake. he even had to hide behind a curtain so the lion got up there wizard found out the lion was a coward and the lion said or the who said said the wizard said he says for all the brave things you've done for Dorothy and Toto I, the wizard of Oz I grant you this medal for bravery now if you went you see in the morning he was a cower talk to a who said a wizard said changed his belief and off that line went thinking the truth. I now have it. See, scarecrow had no brains and the wizard said every smart person has a diploma. I, the Wizard of Oz I grant you this diploma to be smart. See, so our lives sometimes are very, very impacted by these wizards these who-sids but I don't know what I don' t know now I know what I d'on' t kno. You take a person that goes through medical school, say, for example. And one week before they graduate, you wouldn't go to one of these students and say, hey, I need an operation, right? Do something to me. Patch up my stomach. No, you wouldn'T think so. Seven days later, no more training except they go through a who said. Right? They have a little circumstance, right ? They put on their gowns and their tassels and have music playing and bands and all this stuff. And as they walk across the stage this who said by the power given to me by the state of New Mexico I grant you this diploma to be a doctor see now go cut him open and we let him see how come not because they know more it's because the wizard said now it's okay before then the wizard didn't say cut you open but now he said you could now we let him. You see? The Tin Man had no heart, so this wizard said, anyone that has a heart, you can hear it tick, so he gave him this clock and affirmed, you see, the alien heart. Now, the difference between Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Lion, and the Tin Man in many of us, many of us native people, is they went to see a positive wizard. The wizard they went to see that they gave the power to. When he had a problem, gave him brains. When he didn't have a problem gave him courage. But too many of us were raised by are married to hung around with counseled by negative wizards. Who said of the greatest magnitude that told us the truth? And told us and told us and told use. And it could have been a dad who was a teenage, four-year-old teenager telling us the truth. Who are you to think you will amount to anything? And there's other messages that we get as native people. You nod, but it's because I love you so I tell you this, see? And so we start accumulating all of this crap belief inside of ourselves. Could have been a counselor or should have been counseling telling you the truth could have been an older brother. See, an older Brother, two years older than you, is a Husayn. Right? A 12-year-old is a husayn to a 10-year old. So we have a lot of stuff in here. A lot of images, a lot OF pictures built within ourselves and that is not who we are. That is junk information that some negative wizard told us and we somehow sanctioned it and put it inside of ourselves. And that's what we're straightening out in the steps. It's really finding out who we are. It's like if I told you and you didn't see me do it, I said there's a pencil behind my hand. Well, I don't see it. Honest to God, there is a pencil behind my head and there's no hand. Well, I don' t see it You are one of the most beautiful, creative, beautiful children of the Great Spirit. You're just something awesome. Well, I don't see it. The steps is about removing that blockages. Oh, now I see me. That's what we get restored to in step two. It was there all along. So the steps is about removing those blockages, not about becoming something but discovering that which has been inside of us all the time. you see this information it blocks us our ability to be able to see that then this causes certain results in my life because once I get the image and I start to act different than that image tension or anxiety occurs in my system so let's say I have an image I can't talk see I have no feelings but you've been whipped upon beat upon all that other and also you can't talk you can feel well what happens and you try it. Tension, anxiety or stress occurs in your system. I just can't do it. It just doesn't feel right to me. So when we take a look at these steps this is what we need to know that this process is going on but I'm able to look at that in a step knowing what I'm looking at is not the truth but it's the truth about the junk. Does that make sense? but that's how our minds work in relationship to these steps. Any questions on this? Let me see. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. We want to use this tool called, to do the workshop, we want to tool called mind mapping. Mind mapping is a way of taking notes using whole brain. It's a whole brain way, very, very quick, easy, fast way of gathering information. So we'll go through a quick example how to do it and then we're going to break up into groups. let's say that I have a friend that is going to be speaking say to some university and they're going to talk say this one particular night at 7.30 so they ask me they say would you come over and support me because I'm going to be giving this speech I'm kind of afraid talking in front of people say sure I'll be there what time well be there by 7 because they've got to talk at 7.30. So you say, okay. So you go on to the place where they're at and as you walk in the door, one of the bellhops gives you this note, little envelope. And you take the envelope, you open it up and it's from your friend. It said, I had an emergency. Sorry. I have a favor. Will you give the speech? So here you are in a very short amount of time and there's this P.S. Talk about anything you want and by the way, you've gotto talk 20 minutes. so what I need to do is figure out how do I gather a lot of data or information very, very short so let's say that what I decided I would talk about is sailing that would be the subject I was going to talk about so I've got to gather a whole lot of information about sailing very, very quickly enough to organize and put together information so the rules of mind mapping instead of doing line, list, sequence, logic order, instead of doing it that way, the mind map process works is that you draw a picture or an image of the subject that you're going to talk about in the middle of the page. So let's just say this was a sailboat. I'll put a little flag on it. Maybe I'll put a heart around it because I love sailing. Now if I say sailing, what is one key word that would trigger in your mind? Water. So then I would draw, so my mapping says then you just draw a line and you put that key word on there, water. What does water trigger? Waves. What else does it trigger? Sharks. Saw up with jaws. That's a shark. What else? Does water trigger cool? Cool blue? What else does it trigger? Fishing? Okay. What does fishing trigger? Huh? Eating? Alright. What might be another key word about sailing? Wind. What does wind trigger? What else is wind-trigger? Clouds. I'll draw clouds to me. See, my math's kind of nice. You use symbols or whatever. What else does wind trigger? Cold. Cold could trigger rain. Ah, it rained. Somebody says knots. What else? Storm. What might be another word sailing would trigger? Sailor. All right. Drowning, so I could make a wave and put a person underneath the water. Now do you see that mind maps, remember the mind always remembers by association, by association by association. alright what does see wind would trigger storm what does storm trigger fear what does fear trigger what does anger trigger what does stress trigger pardon panic what does panic trigger so so do you see when you use that key word the natural process it tells you in the mind where the next association is filed now even my associations alone is what would trigger but you will trigger different ones than you we won't trigger the same ones that's because we're all different so do you see that in a very few minutes I could accumulate enough information to give a 20 minute speech so then I could take a look at it and say I'll talk about this first and I'll tell you I'll not talk about fishing and I'LL TALK ABOUT SAILORS I'LL TALK ABOUT WIND I' ll TALKABOUT STORM So using the mind map process, I'd be able to gather a lot of information very, very quickly. Sometimes the information that I want to hook on to might be second or third level information. Does that make sense? It would be further on down. So this is what I'd like us to do. I'd like us to count off first by fours. Can we start here? One, two. Where did we leave off? One, two, three, four, one, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 65, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 78, 79, 80, 81, 92, 83, 82, 83. Are we all the way through? What is the number? with four so you'll be number one and two alright now I want you to break into these groups we missed back here so we left out with two is there group three you're number three four Okay, so everybody have a number? Did you get a number from one? No, L. Did you give a number to me? You didn't give a name. She didn't? So where did we leave off? You'll be number group one? All right. Now, I want you to get in these groups and I want you to do some mind maps. And this is what I'd like you to the mind maps on. Group 1, you know the first half of the first step we admitted we were powerless over alcohol? Just because I just thought of something. I want to just change the rules again. I would like men on this side and women on this other side. Men, here you are. Men to the left, my right, women to the right. Two groups. Only two groups. This is where I want you to do your mind map song. As we get into looking at the steps, as the first half of the first step says, we admitted we were powerless over alcohol. I would like you to then take your piece of paper, draw a symbol over that subject It could be, you know, alcohol or whatever. But then I want you to do a list of key words that to you means powerlessness over alcohol. How did you know that you were powerless? What was going on? So I would like you to explode your ideas for you on how you experience powerlessness over alcohol? You get the idea? All right. Whatever your symbol, you have to have an object or a symbol. The topic is we admitted we were powerless over alcohol. So whatever that picture or symbol you choose in the middle is good. Then start doing those key words. How did you know? How are you able to admit powerlessness over alcohol? All right? Okay, so you'll need someone to do the mind map or more than one. Okay, do I have a pen? Is there one you can see from... The mind map was looking at powerless over alcohol. And we looked at it from two perspectives. One, you'll see we look at it from a male perspective. And the other, you will see we looked at it from a female perspective. So we'll see if there is a difference in how even gender-wise we look a difference in powerlessness over alcohol in the first half of the first step. So Jerry, would you be willing to go over what the men's group did in looking at powerlessness? so if you remember from the thought process it says Thank you. cause certain results that we will see. So if you could go over some of the key words Okay We started with the eyeball or sign Started off with drunk Degradation Lying, cheating Stealing Stealing fraud Stealing also means jail We have no choice, cornered, compulsion, defiance, helplessness, infancy, sadness, homelessness, shame, emptiness, dirty, stinky, and low self-esteem. hospitalization jaundice adultery AIDS cirrhosis and hepatitis another self category with guilt shame and slimification the book talks about that unhappy drunks will relate to that bewildered tired immoralized impending annihilation loneliness arrogant willful scared fear anger depression anger again branches off to on the run vomiting blood ulcers hissing in the pants frozen DT, wine sores plasma center hustling suicidal, homicidal matricidal, patricidal revenge resentment, anger, jealousy and self-will misery, sick addicted, uncontrollable egotistical foolish, false pride disconnected can't stop I've pretty much covered most of it so you get that sense or the feeling of powerlessness a bloodshot eyeball where's the marker Oh, here's one. So in looking at that first half of the first step, you see there's this process that says recognize, acknowledge, forgive, and change. so when say I'm working this understand what we're doing here is just working together to get an idea of everybody's experiences to get a idea of what various words triggered for powerless over alcohol so a person could even personalize this but when I look at admitting powerless over alcohol I have to admit this is me. I have got to recognize what that is. I need to acknowledge that's me doing that. That is a result in my life. It's not her fault or its fault. So we admit we are powerless over alcohol, that when I look at these things am I able to admit that? That this is powerlessness. okay could we have the women come and look over or share what they looked in terms of their powerlessness Our symbol is the whiskey ball and the spiral like a tornado cyclone kind of on. It tells how our life, as it starts at the bottom of the bottle, when we start drinking, there are certain things that we feel like we feel good, we feel euphoric, we feel a part of, we're feeling accepted, we'd feel powerful, we'll feel sexy, intellectual, Fearless. We feel in control, we feel talented. We feel like that we're a good driver. A good dancer. Some said the best dancer. Better than best. I feel like you could talk a lot more, a lot easier. Sex is a lot better. And let's see, you feel brave. These are the things that, you know, after we started drinking, we felt like this is how it made us feel. But then as we continued to drink more and more, the turmoil began to start inside of us and it just exploded. And powerlessness to us was no self-respect. One word was speed, DUI, death, cops. Then powerlessness over our bodies, bathroom habits, hygiene, eating habits. We were powerless over our behaviors. We were powerless over our language. Families, values, we lost our sense of beliefs over our, powerless over our spirituality, just powerless over our lives as a whole. The other word was misery, which was a sadness in the facial appearance, was suicide. I don't know what that word is. Loves, oh suicide loves I mean misery loves company. Misery was depression and secrets. Then another word was relationships abuse which out of the relationships abused come neglect sexual, mental, physical abuse no self-respect generationally divorce, murder, jail, loneliness, prison sexual, promiscuous, incest, rape the truth was just totally obliterated there was no truth in who we were and what we represented stealing, lying, cheating put ourselves in physical danger couldn't see that abusive relationships was harming us and as a result we're totally spiritually bankrupt does that make sense? yeah good job I really like how you brought that out of the bottle I haven't seen that approach before because that really puts it in perspective because it kind of was that way at first and then just slowly it gets worse. And I don't know how anybody else sees this, but I watch in AA, sometimes you just watch. I think that the women, when they go downhill like that, they really go down. And God, they come and they're so painful. I don' t think that men understand the pain that the women come when they come to the program it's just i think they just go down faster and they go down further i think their pain intensity of that is this awesome from i can see you know because it just it goes that way but you see even like how men how women look at it a little bit different from one another in some regards i think that's why it's good that when you get help in the steps, women work with women, men work with men for a general guideline because it's not the same. It's different. But when a person can recognize that, acknowledge this is what I've done, then I'm able to admit powerlessness over alcohol. Does that make sense? And you know that doesn't need to be analyzed. A lot of times when we work the steps, you know, what we do sometimes is we analyze too much. See, this is about process. It's sort of like, you ever get lost in some town, like say a rental car or something, some strange town, you get lost. Then you open up the golf compartment and you get a map out. And when you open up that map, there's two pieces of information is needed before movement can take place. What are those two pieces of information? Step one is where I am. Step two is where I'm going. That's a relationship. That is two pieces of information that is needed before a movement can take place. And I think sometimes this happens, you see, the mind is only interested to move, you know, to get going. It's interested in two things. Where am I now in relationship to where am I going? It needs step one, where is it built and what's the fix? We're going to look at that next. But too often, one time I was stuck, I was struck in this place and this one I'll do