Humility – Sandy – East Coast Convention – 2008

Okay, now we're on our second lecture. And before we get there, you'll notice that there's some holograms on the wall. And they're put up there so that you can have fun standing there waiting for it to transform into the third dimension. And I like to put them up there because they really remind me of what an awakening is like. And I'll tell you why I say it's like that. I had never seen one of these things. And I was in Baltimore at my son's house for Thanksgiving dinner many years ago, and he had one in the hallway. And everybody in the family was going, what's that? What's that? Oh, you're standing. You're standing in front, and you look, and then boo. And everybody was doing it, even my grandchildren, except me, saw it. So I'm getting up from Thanksgiving dinner. I've got to go to the bathroom again. I'm standing out in the hall looking at that thing. And I made a stay late, and I actually went home without ever seeing it. You know what I mean? You can't see it transform into the third dimension. And so I got home, and then I bought one. And then I looked up close. Some of us are slower than others. And finally, boom. And I went, oh, my God. And it really is kind of that feeling when you see what was there all along. And so when I got through with that, and I said, well, gee, maybe I ought to write a book. I said, well, gee, maybe I ought to write a book. Holograms for dummies. And how to look at a hologram. You know what I'm saying? So I thought and thought and thought and thought. And I came up with, you just stand there until you see it. And so it applies here. You just stay seeking. You just stay seeking. You just stay seeking. Until it happens. You see what I'm saying? In other words, there is no, the promises, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, always materialize if we work for them or if we stand there until it happens. And so as you stand in front of those, that's really what it's like. It's like one day you're looking at this world. And suddenly you see another dimension to the world you live in, whether you're up in New Hampshire or New York City. You just go, oh, look at this. And every one of those glimpses is a step closer to God's kingdom, which would be, what does the world look like? And what do we all look like through God's eyes? It's, you know, it's wonderful. It's wonderful. And the main thing that happens is the separation starts dissolving. And I know about a year ago I was in a, you know, a big gathering. And I don't know where it came from, but I suddenly realized that if I was rude to that guy back there, it would hurt me. Now, up until then, it was a theory. That if you harm somebody else, you actually harm yourself. Suddenly, I just went, yeah, it sure does. In other words, there was a less of a separation than there had been. And I saw that he really was part of God, just like I was part. And it wasn't a theory. And I think the same thing happens as we. Have these experiences. And we're that much closer to God. Which is the whole point of being alive. Is to end that separation. St. Francis calls it dying. You know, at the end of the St. Francis prayer. And dying simply means the end of my world. Not the end of my life. But my separate world. Where I'm the only one. And you're separated from me. And we're all competing with each other. It's a dog-eat-dog world. Watch out, watch out. And that world dissolves through this process. It's really that simple. There's nothing to understand. There's only something to experience. So you can't explain this in words. But you can experience it. And then you share your experience with words. So there's such a change in the traditional way of talking about things. As we go from the intellectual material world to the spiritual world. And knowing is one of them. We want to know more. Because we think that'll get us to the spiritual world. And we want to know more. And we want to know more. And we want to know more. And we want to know more. And we want to know more. And if you think about your own life in AA, you got there by unlearning. By getting rid of old ideas. You took apart what you had assembled. And then it was revealed what reality is. And that's really. Because our tendency is, even after this lecture, is I'm going to go back and think about that. I mean, I remember my sponsor goes, you understand your brain is broken. I don't know if your sponsor told you that when you were new. Your brain is sick. It's broken. It's absolutely broken. Now, do you understand that? And I said, well, I don't know. I guess I'll go think about it. I've just been told I have a broken mind and I'm going to go think about it with that broken mind. So we're so engaged in thinking towards the solution instead of experiencing it. And I find you've probably done this. You try to explain AA to a dear friend who sees the change in you. And they say to you, you know. You know, bud, what happened? You on a diet? Are you working out? Have a new girlfriend? I mean, what is this? Oh, I'm in AA. Really? Well, what do you do there? You have an eating plan? What do you have there in AA? Oh, no, it's wonderful. It's spiritual. Very spiritual. It's wonderful. Well, how does it work? Oh, it's simple. It's simple. Like my home group, it's a discussion group. It's just great. We meet. We meet Monday night from 830 to 930 to cool. It's just wonderful. Well, what do you do there? Well, like one person will be the leader. Okay? And he gets a topic. Like resentment. And then he says a few things about resentment. And then we go around the table and each person talks about resentment. And then we say the Lord's Prayer and we go home. It's unbelievable. Would you like to go? Would you like to go? And they go, no. What? What? And then one day they do come. Maybe they come to a speaker meeting. Whatever it is. And then they go home and they understand it. Because they experienced it. They felt the energy. They felt the magic. They felt the spirit. And they understood it, but not through words. It has to be experienced. So God has to be experienced. It's almost a misnomer to say God as we understand him. But I understand why they put it in there to settle the dispute between Akron and New York. The agnostic atheist crowd versus the Jesus crowd. So they came up with a compromise. God as we understand him. And then both sides could claim victory. Well, clearly as you understand him as Jesus. And over and over. And over in New York. As you understand him. That means no God for the first year. Then we'll slide it in later. Because if we don't mention God up front, the net will be wider and more people will come in. You see what I'm saying? And so they came up with this compromise. But there isn't anything to understand. It is really a poor choice of words to really describe God. So anyway, my ego came up with contemplative AA. And I felt so good about it. I just said, that should bring a big crowd in. All the snobs, especially from New England. You know, the intellectual capital of the world. With all the Ivy League. And then I got reflecting on it. What the heck? What the heck is this all about? And so all I did was put together. Is this the page? Yeah. Some things to reflect on. And I thought a great starting point would be our line in the big book. More will be revealed. We're all familiar with that. More will be revealed. What is the circumstances or the setting where something is most likely to be revealed? I would say when we're in a reflecting, contemplative, wonder state of mind. Where we're just. We're just. Looking at the sunset. When we're just totally consumed by it. Which means our mind isn't. In that moment, we're very likely to feel the presence of God. And that's an easy one. The sunset. But it can also happen on simple reflection about various things. And so the first one I put down. Oh, that's not the first one. This is a definition of AA that I wanted to share with you. Which is the first line on the paper. In his later years, Bill wrote a letter to someone. And he said, as I reflect back on AA, I now feel that it's an utter simplicity. Which encases a complete mystery. And I just am so moved by that description. We call it a simple program. And it really is. There's nothing complicated about it. It's so simple. As a matter of fact, you could boil it down to its absolute essence. Which is let go. I mean. I think. That's the entire program in two words. Let go of your way. Let go of you running it. Let go. Let go. And then just see what happens. So that's the simple. I mean, that's it. That's all it takes. And then what happens? That's when a complete mystery appears. And of course, the complete mystery is God or the universe. Which can't be understood. And so we give up letting go. Trying to understand God. Just stop. Just let go. And instead, experience him. Feel the presence in everything simple. Feel it walking to the chow hall. Feel it walking to the chow hall. Feel your feet. Feel your feet on the ground. Feel your lungs breathing in the air. You see what I'm saying? We are simply nothing to figure out. So everything that we do is just an experience instead of a thought. It's just an experience. And I think that. And I'll mention this in the last lecture, I'm sure. I sometimes think that God's favorite prayer is wow. When you suddenly look at what he created and you go. And you really look at it. You just. And you go, wow. This is pretty cool. It's amazing. Look at all this. And so that was the beginning of reflection. In other words, we take something that has some substance or some particular meaning. Read it. And then just put it down and go. I wonder where that will take me. I wonder what it's like to just sit and let that. And of course, I already mentioned the experience I had. So I put that down the kitchen table. Where Bill and Abby were sitting. And I just described what happened there. That all of Bill's old ideas melted. When he saw his friend's face. And the reason this is so powerful to me. Is that I misread AA history. When I studied our history. And read where Bill and Lois got evicted from Clinton Street. And there's the line that they couldn't afford the dray man. I guess which is the mover. And left the furniture out in the street. I assumed the furniture was lost. For a lot of years. Probably. I thought that for 30 years. And then my sister. And I went to Stepping Stones. And the person giving us the tour. We walk in the kitchen. He said, this is the table. And I went, oh my God. The table isn't gone. It's right here. It's a crappy old white formica table. I mean this thing has got no value at all. And I felt like I was at the Taj Mahal. I sat at that table. I got a photograph taken of me. Sitting at the table. I sat at the table. Because something of great moment happened at that table. Matter of fact, so big that you and I are here. And so I took the table. This cheap formica. God know they probably paid 10 bucks for it back in the 20s. And I just sat there. And it was like. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave. This was too wonderful to walk away from. That's what I'm talking about reflecting. Or wondering. Or contemplating. Is to allow the experience. To just appear inside. Where you just disconnect from everything else. And just stay in that moment of allowing that to. And of course. I had just all kinds of awareness. Of spiritual power. Because there I was. And there this moment was. And I was part of that moment. All these years later. And it felt wonderful. And you'll hear in the talk on the now. That that's a whole different way of looking at it. So. These are a random list. Of. Things you might use. And I'm just going to go over them. And. Give you some thoughts that I have. When I look at these. Contemplate wonder and ponder for the sheer joy of it. That's not something I would have thought up. Well what should I do for the next 15 minutes. I think I'll just. Sit in a state of wonder. Because it's going to be fun. You follow what I'm saying. I'm just going to sit. Because this is really fun. Wow. I'm just going to feel. The universe. I'm just going to sit here. I never thought you could just sit. And feel God. And. Start getting happy. Until I tried it. Just like Chuck said. Sit there and wait for guidance. So sit and wonder. And see what happens. Okay. And then it happens. Now try to describe it in words. You can't. You can come close to describing it. But people will see that you look calmer. They'll see something. And so that's what happens with. Spirituality. Reflect on the silence. What is silence? This thing's really divided into two parts. Silence. Is a rather interesting. Spiritual concept. Silence is the space. Between. Sounds. Even a note on the piano. When you hit it. It goes. It's oscillating. And there's. Equal amount. Of silence. With. An equal tone. So half of everything. Is silence. The trick is. To get into the silence. To get into that space. It's a very expansive. Thing. Silence. In other words. As your day. Gets crowding in. The events of the day. Are. Making you feel. Jammed. There isn't even elbow room. To be with all these things. That are happening. So we try and control the events. So there's fewer things happening. But it's also possible. To increase the space. That they're happening in. And lose the feeling. Of everything jamming in on you. That's where silence comes in. Through silence. Silence. We can increase the space. That we're in. And then it isn't so. You know. You don't feel so jammed in. Things aren't piling up in there. Because it's bigger. And this can be done. There's one technique. About meditating. If you're not familiar with it. This is really meditating. For amateurs. It seems. That the mind. And the ego. Will allow us. To take four breaths. Without interrupting us. Wanting to know what's going on. It doesn't realize. That anything of importance. Is happening. In four breaths. So we're able to generate. That much space. Where you're just at your desk. You're at a meeting. You're anywhere. And you just stop for a second. And enjoy the silence. Of four breaths. Four breaths. If that's done. A hundred times. During the day. You've done the same thing. As a 30 minute meditation. You've generated. That much. Space. Simply by taking it. From the silence. It's a fascinating. Way. To. Just be looser. In the environment. That you're in. So reflecting on the silence. Is a rather productive thing. Because all spirituality. Takes place in the silence. And in the present moment. God only speaks. In the silence. That's the only place. He can be heard. The more we're silent. Where our mind isn't. The more. Our intuitions. Can experience guidance. And. The silence. And. The silence. And. The separation. Starts to disappear. So silence is big. It's really huge. So reflecting on it. Is your own. Approach. To silence. Then. We came up with. I don't know. 12 or 13. Sentences. That are. The type of thing. That can be reflected on. Well there it is. Truth exists in the silence. Where thought doesn't exist. And. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. This is. This is. Where the whole. Spiritual world. Takes place. Is in the silence. In the space. Between. The thoughts. Stop believing. In what you believe in. I think that's where the. Saying. Give her. Try to describe something. That's really remarkable. And you say. It's beyond belief. That's a common. But you got to see this. It's beyond belief. That's not a bad destination. To go beyond. Whatever you believe in. Because beliefs. Are very limiting. That. We seem to build. Our. Foundation. On what we believe. But it's. Very freeing. To abandon them. And. Oh. Jesus. There goes my coffee. Don't worry. Chris. Get a nap. In or something. Did you notice the move. Was that. Beyond belief. Don't put on the tape. That I spilled the coffee. All over the damn. Blanket. Beliefs. Are normally. We feel. They're the foundation. Of ourselves. That's what I rely on. Our. Beliefs. They hold me together. Well. If you're going to let go. Those. Have to go. Do you follow what I'm saying. They. They will hold us. In a. Mental construct. Instead of allowing us. To go. Beyond belief. Thank you. When you're conscious of your. Oh. To be free of thoughts. Is meditation. Watch. Of watching. Thoughts. That's another. Great exercise. Is to sit back. Like an observer. And see what you think about. Just. Let's just look at him. Go. And you just. What am I thinking about that for. I mean. It really can be quite humorous. After a while. I think the same stuff. All the time. There it is again. Wow. That's amazing. Look at those thoughts. Then when you get. Reflecting on that. Who's doing the watching. Watching. Who is that. Who is watching. Your mind. Function. The mind can't watch itself. There must be another. Part. Of me. That is watching me. Think. This is the part that we want to live with. This is the part we want to get familiar with. This is the part that exists in the silence. And that's our spirit. So the more. Thank you guys. Oh that's this lecture. So we don't have to worry about that. Well it's a way of keeping everybody awake. Okay. Let's jump down to. I guess it's. The one after the breath one. There's no meaning in life. It just is. You may make up a meaning. But it does not come from life itself. What we waste more time. Trying to figure out what this means. Hey. The coffee just got spilled. What does that mean. That must mean this is a lousy lecture. That must mean. God doesn't want this lecture given. That must mean. It doesn't mean anything. There's. No meaning whatsoever. Meaning is an intellectual distraction. Life. Just is. It just is. So we can reflect on that and go. Wait a minute. Let me think of an exception. I'm going to come up with meaning. There has to be meaning. And as you do you might find yourself letting go. Of putting meaning into anything. Which is a big freedom. So you were trying to get free of. These things that are holding us. From our spiritual selves. Which are mental. Ego. Gymnastics. And these are ways of reflecting on them. So that we can let them go. And we'll see that they really aren't crucial. To getting through life. As a matter of fact. I meant to put in here. A trick question. Because we're talking about meaning. And the question. Is what was the cause. Of the Civil War. Jesus. Martin Luther King. The Rays losing the World Series. And the San Francisco earthquake. Now obviously you're going. Wow. What was the cause of that? Pretty hard to find it isn't it? Because they seem so disjointed. The answer is the Big Bang. The answer to. Any question that says. What was the cause of. The correct answer is the Big Bang. Because. You have to go all the way back to there. If you're going to look at cause. You can't stop with just today. Well what caused that was because she was rude to me. Yeah but she may have been rude to you. Because her husband just left her. And her husband just left her. Because he was suspicious of that girl over there. And she was. And pretty soon you've got to go. You've gone all the way. Around the world once. And we still haven't found the cause. Do you follow what I'm saying? And we. We try to. Put everything in little. Boxes. Little segments of time. In order to understand it. Let's give up understanding. There is no meaning. And there is no cause. There's another great freedom. I don't have to spend my time. What caused that? What's the meaning of this? Those are distractions. Those are distractions. From. Being free. From our mind. And so this is. This exercise is. Different techniques. On getting free. Of your own mind. And. You do that. And you've won the game. That's the. That's the winning the game of life. Is to be free of your own mind. So we're having some fun looking at this. The eye through which I look for God. Is the eye that God is looking at. Now there's something to. Try and get your teeth into. It reminds me of that. Story. Everybody's heard it. Of the real young fish. In the ocean. And the old fish comes by and says. How's the water boys? And swims off. And the other one fish goes. What's water? What's water? And then some practical jokester says. Oh you got to swim about a thousand miles. You'll get to Bermuda. It's there. And then they go. Any water around here? No you got to go over there to the United States. And they're. They're all over looking for water. And that's all they live in. And so if God is everything. Then he is. The eye. That's what makes it so much fun. I'm using these eyes to try to find God. He's looking through them. Watching me. Trying to find him. And he's right. He's me. He's you. He's. There is no separation. There's no such thing as something. Existing separate from God. So this is just a. An illustrative way of demonstrating that. That we're like the fish in the ocean. Looking for. Water. And we're looking with our eyes. I wonder where God is. He's. Right here. And so we go to Tibet. Climb the Himalayas. Got up here. And the answer would be yes. Everywhere we go. Yeah he's here. Okay. To get an answer to a pressing question. This is. This is the heart of letting go. To get an answer to a pressing question. Form it. And then drop it into the stillness and wait. The answer will come. Or your question will disappear. How often. How often. Something very very. Urgent. Will have to be postponed. Due to something other urgent. And then we come back to it. It isn't urgent anymore. And we go why was I so excited about that. And so the same thing with questions. You see we form questions because we want answers. As if it's going to help us. In this. With anything. You know in understanding. Something. Since we can understand God. We can understand spirituality. And there's no meaning in life. Then questions are just delaying. Tactics. And so either. The answer will come. Or your question will disappear. And that type of language. Is what Bill uses. When he said. Our problems will be removed. Not solved. You remember that. Your problem will be removed. It isn't there anymore. I think. We got a lot of time. I think that. This is just a joke. That every AA group. Ought to have. A group of old timers. Called the problem panel. And if you have a problem. You have to come to the group. And present it. To the old timers. On the problem panel. And they can ask you questions. About the problem. Well tell me more about that. Okay. And when did that. Okay. Now you go out of the room. And we're going to vote. On whether that qualifies. As a problem. And then you come back. And they say I'm sorry. That does not reach the level. Of a problem. You must let it go. Do you see where we're going? What is a problem? It's something we made up in our head. Every day there are. Billions of events that happen. That we decide are not problems. No that's fine. That's fine. Ethiopia is invading who? That's okay with me. That's okay with me. That's okay with me. What? They're going to charge $12. For fishing licenses. Wait a minute. And we turn that. Event. Which has no meaning. Into a problem. Because. Our separation. Our ego. Uses problems. To create the world. That keeps us separate. And so that's why I think having a problem panel. Would be a lot of fun. And you say I'm sorry. That's not a problem. And I do that when I'm sponsoring people. They got a problem. And I. Okay. Let's talk about it. And I'm going to see if I can convince you. You don't have a problem. How do I do that? By looking at it differently. The first time that happened to me. With my sponsor. I went over. You know when you're new. The sky's falling every day. Bill. Bill. Bill. Sky's falling. Sky's falling. Sky's falling. I've got to come over. I've got to come over. So I go over. And I go through the whole thing. I'm probably going to get fired. My kids won't eat. We're going to. And he gets through. And then he went. Okay. Yeah. I see what you're saying. But don't forget. You got three months. And you're now the coffee maker. People really like it. When you show up at the group. And you've paid back. Some of the money. You're on your way to financial freedom. And you're doing this. And you know. And those people are talking to you. And then when he gets through. I go. Well. If you look at it that way. If you look at it that way. Okay. So. I like to do that with the people I sponsor. Well. Sit down. Tell me all about it. And then I go. Well. You know. You know. Don't you think this. Is just that you're looking at it wrong? And you go. Yeah. Maybe. Spirituality. Is the new pair of glasses. That Chuck talks about. So that when we look at it. It's not a problem. It's a wonderful world. It's a wonderful world. That's what. Is being talked about here. God is the essence of all life. Stillness is the language that God speaks. Stillness and the divine are one. I just find that. A sentence that. Makes me feel wonderful. It just sort of captures. Everything that we've been talking about. God is the essence of all life. All life. All life. Stillness is the language that God speaks. So. Talk. Talk. Talk. Talk. Talk. We won't hear anything. But if I go like this. If I go reflect over there. Go. Contemplate on. Moons. Or. Planets. Whatever it is. Just. Wow. How'd that get started? Isn't that interesting? In that silence. I may suddenly feel. A great peace. That comes over me. Now I have to reflect on. Where did that peace come from? Wasn't that. What an experience I just had. Like the one I had with the kitchen table. Stillness and the divine are one. When we're in the stillness. We're in the presence. Of our own creator. What a lovely. Lovely. Reason. For. Learning how. To get silent. So that I'm when the presence. Of my higher power. Then. I just threw this question in. We have the fourth dimension of existence. In our big book. We were catapulted into the fourth dimension of existence. And I. Asked the reflective question. Is that the silence? Is that the silence? It's just something. To think of. And if that isn't. Then where is the fourth dimension of existence. Which we read about in our big book. See there's a lot of things that we. Have in our big book. That we never reflected on. Never. You know what I mean. You just use them. They're useful things. Tell the new guy. You'll be catapulted into the fourth dimension of existence. Hoping he doesn't go. Well what is that? You know. I have to ask my sponsor. So then we reflect on it. And I'm just telling you as I've reflected on things. And the same thing probably has happened or will happen to you. And I'll give you some examples. This too shall pass. I thought that was a very positive thing. And I've started reflecting and reflecting. And I went. No. This too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too can be let go of. The reason it's not passing. I'll not let go. I got it like this. When's this going to be over? Oh. How can God remove it if I'm holding it like this? When am I going to get some relief from this hot coal? Oh. So I shifted it around in my mind. This too can be let go. This too can be let go of. Happens in God's time. Okay. Well, let's check that one out. Here's God. And he's wearing a watch. God, what time is it? Well, it's right now. We come back in an hour. What time is it now, God? It's right now. God's time is only right now. You see what I'm saying? So we're adding this dimension of time, which is a man-made thing. And now we have God involved in it. Like time has any meaning to him. The starting place for all reflection. When do we stop, Chris? Oh, all right. Well, I'll go for ten more minutes. We're all getting tired. The starting place for all reflection or contemplation is the fact of your own existence. The question to be asked is who are you? There is only one fact that each of us can be 100% sure of, that I exist. That is one thing that I know from personal experience. Whether you exist or not, that could be an illusion. But I know that I exist. So all contemplation should start there. What is it that exists? What am I exactly? And as we reflect on who am I? Not who am I, I was born Richard Beach, 1931 in New Haven, and I am the . I'm a 77-year-old male. I am that. that's not the answer to the question. The question is, who am I? And that comes in the silence. That's where the answer to that will be found. And most final answers come from St. Francis, it's by dying that I awaken to eternal life. And I understand that I'm eternal. That I, the who am I, is forever. I'm a human being, I mean, I'm a spiritual being having a human experience. The human experience is 80 years. Well, I was a spiritual, before I got here, I was a spiritual being not having a human experience. And after I finish here, I'll be a spiritual being who just had a human experience. And the human experience, was a beep in the totality of this existence. So, coming as the reflecting on who I am, who am I, it suddenly becomes unbelievably big. And that's who we really are. Not this limited, made-up story that our ego put together, and that our program smashes. Smash, smash. Or if you don't like smashing, we started out with a clear view of God and the universe, and then we slowly made up stories. I mean, how do you make up a story? We look at the universe and we go, I don't like the universe. Okay, so now we put that up. I live in a universe that I don't like. Up until I didn't like it, it was just a universe. And I also live on a planet that I don't like. And I live with two parents that I don't like. And I got a job and a boss that's very unfair. You see, all of the modifiers to everything were created by me. And the modifiers slowly blank out the sky. I got so many. Every thought creates a modifier. An adjective. Wonderful, lousy, but it's a modifier. And I'm not saying that I'm not a modifier. I'm saying that I'm a modifier. I'm a modifier. I'm a modifier. I'm a powerful, lousy, crappy, unfair, victim. Boom! Bam! And pretty soon there is no reality coming in. The light from God can't get in this place. And since it can't get in, we have the illusion there's no such thing as God. You get totally into self-centeredness and you could put a lie detector on someone and say, have you ever experienced God? And they'd go, no. and it wouldn't move. So we start cleaning the windows. House cleaning. Our house cleaning steps. A little bit of light coming in. That's our first glimpse of the kingdom that we left. It's not some new place that we're going. We're going home. And then the more you clean away, the more you say, how could I have forgotten this? How could I have forgotten who I really am? See, that's the house cleaning process. And we all get to a certain point. The total surrender to alcohol and the perfect release from alcohol cleans off that. And that's where we have the glimpse of the kingdom. That's the first opening is when the disease of alcoholism is spiritually removed. And we know that I haven't thought about a drink in 43 years. It never comes into my mind. And when I think about alcohol in the middle of some terrible situation, my wife ran away or whatever it is, I look at it and I wonder how it could help me. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't even know why this would be of any use. Now, 15 pancakes with a quart of syrup. Yeah, I could see where that would do something. I could see go to Las Vegas and play in the slot. Yeah, I could see that. But I can no longer see how the heck could alcohol help me? That's freedom. It's in the league with strychnine. It's just, why would you ever even consider it? That's a perfect release from alcohol, which means that spot has been cleaned off. And I have a glimpse. So now, life sometimes will hammer us so we're forced to clean off something else. But the thing I mentioned earlier, which is the great turning point, comes when I decide to clean them off when I don't have to. I'm going to take my own initiative. I'm going to take my own initiative. Chuck calls it uncover, discover, discard. He loved finding out something else he was wrong about and get rid of it. Because every time he got rid of it, more light came in. And the more light that came into him, the more light that went out from him. And that was the beacon. So the more we scrub away, the more people will come to us and want to know, how'd you do that? And then we show someone else. And we show someone else. And so, that's what can come out of a sentence like that. You see what I mean? That we're reflecting and just letting it sit around. Oh, I made this one up. Just to show what awakening. A perfectly spiritual being falls asleep. You got to buy my hypothesis. It's here. Perfectly spiritual, he falls asleep and dreams that he's imperfect. And of course, he believes and feels accordingly. As soon as you believe that you're imperfect, then you're going to feel imperfect. Because our feelings all come from our thoughts. And beliefs come from our thoughts. So now we have someone who's dreaming. And is experiencing imperfection. And all of the suffering of imperfection. How does he return to spiritual perfection? Waking up. As soon as he comes out of the dream, he's back to perfection. So all that's separating us, it's not this arduous, I got to get better at this and I got to get better at that. No. I just got to wake up. Wake up. It's so much simpler than we thought it was. Well, I have to fix this and then I got to fix that. And then I could stop lying and then I could do this. And Chuck's going, no, no, no, you're going all those things. You solve the one problem of separation and they all go away. They all go away. Because you made up all that stuff because you were separate. Because you made up all that stuff because you were separate. Because you were separated. That's what caused you. The separation made you be asleep. And that's where all these came in. So you see the simplicity in all of this. Notice how every one of these things comes back to something incredibly simple. Which is what Bill was talking about at the top. An utter simplicity which in case is a complete mystery. Here's the meaning of life. The bottom line of life is that everything is most wonderfully inexplicable. So in other words, it's telling us don't try to explain anything. Just see how wonderful it is. Stop trying to explain it. It just is. And then the last one and then we'll stop. The mystery of life is the mystery of me. So again, I went back to the only thing we know for sure is that I exist. Now I'm asking the question, well, who is this that exists? As that's revealed to me, the entire mystery of life is revealed at the same time. Because that's what the mystery is. It's who am I? The old Ellery Queen. Tonight we're going to try and solve the mystery of who are you? And so those are just some thoughts on reflecting and contemplating and wondering and holding things in a state of wonder. There's an infinite number of things you could seek and find and a sentence in a book and just take it and see what it says to you without thinking. That's what this is. It's just allow the. Moment to take you over. We were at the end of the hour, so let's wrap it up a little bit early. I hope Chris has announced. I hope everybody enjoyed it and we'll be back here at some time tomorrow morning. Thank you all. Yes.