Higher Power – Spiritual Growth Is by Subtraction – Part 2 of 4 – 2021 – Sandy B.

God's got worried about it, says mythology. And said if we leave them like that, total and complete, they're going to be like us. We better change that situation. And they did. They cut us right in half. Remember your creation stories? All creation stories, that split occurs. And we become separate. Incomplete. Incompleat. And so Carl Jung talks about this thirst to be whole again, to be complete again, to be all together again as spirituality. Getting it back together. I felt incomplete. You've heard me describe it before as I felt like I had a big hole in the middle of me with the wind blowing through it. And it hurt. I felt it severely. Everyone, I think, knows about their incompleteness or at least feel that they're somehow incomplete. But it doesn't seem to bother some people. You ever notice that? Or they find some quick and easy answer to it, you know? That's what we call civilians or normsies, you Know? I don't understand these people. They're too healthy for me. I never understood that kind of thing. Some of us, though, feel this need severely and deeply. We're really sensitive to it. What one psychiatrist calls stimulus augmenters, We feel this emptiness, this incompleteness, and this despair more intensely. And we're grasping. We really are thirsty for a way out of this whole deal, you know? And so we take detours. We don't take the path back home. We take detour. Detours. We detour with chemicals. we detour with sex we detOUR with food we detOUr with work we det Tour with all kinds of things and what makes these things so valuable every one of them I submit to you for some of us make us feel like we're all in one piece they create the illusion that I'm home. Alcoholics, when you were just right with the alcohol, did you feel like you were there? Everything's fine with God and man. Ain't got an enemy in the world. Ain't that what we said? Get along with anybody. Sing songs. Put our arms around people we can't stand. Huh? Go to places you wouldn't be caught dead in. Have a good time. Whole world's falling down around you. Take your needle. Shoot it. The world rebuilds itself. It's astounding. Huh? Want another detour? Fall in love. You know, there's an old lady up in Charlotte, a mean old lady, been sober too long, I guess. Says alcoholics don't fall in love, they come in heat. I said, that's a nasty thing to say. She's right. As one who's been in heat many times, let me tell you. It seems to be complete, doesn't it? Romance is powerful, y'all. Powerful drug. Huh? And when everything goes just right on that job, huh? Here's the illusion. It's all right now. It's wonderful. It's altogether. Alcohol, the effect of it leaves, doesn'T it? It's the effect of drugs, Lee. We fall out of love quick as we fall in. You ever notice that about us? Can anybody identify with that? You don't have to be a sex addict to fall in and out of luck. All you've got to be is a human being who's very sensitive to the fact that he ain't home and wants to go there real bad. Because every addiction on the face of this earth, in my opinion, begins in that void. Every one of them. And the void is spiritual, isn't it? And so the genesis, I'm saying to you, of every addiction, alcoholism, sex, any of them, is a spiritual kind of thing. It comes out of a spiritual emptiness, a desire to go home, Patty. I'll swear. And we get off one detour and get on another one. In the book Alcoholics Anonymous says that we sought an easier, softer way. Boy, ain't that the truth. You know? We get into AA, you know, and get a little dry behind the ears and fall in love. Right? Then we fall out of love. Right? And we figure we can smoke a little pot on the side because it don't say nothing about pot in the big book. Right? Taking every wrong direction on our lonely way back home. And then finally, it dawns on us. You want to get home, you have to get on a path that is designed to take you home. and if you're going to walk that path you cannot walk that path and detour at the same time you're gonna be out there looking for a short swift answer with your sexual life you cannot practice the 12 step program do you hear me you're gon' be out here smoking dope you cannot practice the 12 step program you're go'na be addicted to work you cannot practice the 12 step program you still ain't happy and you wonder why I'm N-A-A, are you? No, you've got to get on the path. And either you're on the Path or you aren't. I believe that. I didn't want to believe that Some of those detours were pleasant. I lost sight of the fact every one of them was deadly. You've got to get on the path and stay there. You just hear these old-timers and they talk about, say bad things about sex. You know what I mean? Tell the boys, you know, that under every skirt is a slip. No he-in and she-in I thought well hell He's so old He's forgot what it's like anyway No he didn't And then follow that With first things first And it didn't match You know they went right about one another in my head until I began to understand what they meant, you know? Priorities, priorities, priorities. What are your values? Where are your failures? Have you learned any patience? Can you wait? Are you still going to have that alcoholic mentality that says I've got to feel good every minute of every day and every second of every minute and if I don't feel good, it's not working. I've never met an addictive person that wasn't very impatient, by the way. Y'all including me. We want it now. Pleasure. Not purpose. Pleasure." And then we begin to realize that maybe the pleasure comes from the purpose. If we get on the path and we walk the path and we do a little good for somebody and learn how to love somebody, really love somebody a little pleasure comes along. that it's not the central thing. That's a bonus. What kind of path is going to take us home? And why don't all of them take us there? You know, I wondered about that. There are a lot of wonderful paths. Some of you have heard me talk about them before. The Ten Commandments, you know, Well, that's very stern, but if you follow those principles, you're going to get home. The Sermon on the Mouth or the SermON on the Plain in the New Testament and the Bible, those are paths that lead to home. This place that the spiritual teachers call this home heaven, that was their term, or utopia or nirvana, you know. You know, one Indian guy one day when I was talking said, don't forget happy hunting grounds. There's a wonderful one, okay? This is that goal that we're talking about. And there's some good ones to get there. There's some Good Psychologists. Do you know that? Some wonderful psychologists who worked out some pretty good systems which are really paths that are designed to take you home, although I don't know if any of them would admit it. Abe Maslow probably would and Carl Rogers probably would. Okay? But there's some good psychological systems. There are some good religious systems. In other words, there are many paths that we can take that lead us home. Any of you ever have this experience? You get on one of those paths. Were any of y'all compulsive churchgoers in between every two drunks? I was very compulsive about going to church and getting right with God. That's Baptist, okay, to the core. I tried that path very, very hard. I didn't play at that path. I really worked at that pass. I put myself down for years on that. I seriously studied the Bible. I seriously studies the Christian path. I tried my best to walk that path because I knew it led where I wanted to go. And it did not work for me. i got on one of the psychological paths i worked hard with a good doctor and i knew that path was supposed to leave me home and i tried and it did not take me there why you ever wonder that why won't psychiatry work for me why won't religion work for mary they seem to work for some people Why not me? I think it has to do with which path you take depends upon where it is you're starting from. I had never thought of that. Which path you takes and which one works depends on where you're started from. I really believe that. Now, if you're studying from a neurosis or a psychosis or something like that, psychological path that's going to take you home or in the direction of it, there are some good ones. And if your problem is deeply religious, one of those religious paths will take you back and take you to the eighth full middle path of Buddha the way of Tao. They'll take you Home. But if you're an alcoholic or an addict or an addictive person of any kind, your starting point is from addiction not schizophrenia. Not neurosis of the common variety. And you ain't got a religious problem, per se. You're an addict. And so you start in on that 12-step path. Now I'll tell you what. Lo and behold, I have found out, and you're going to discover this if you stay clean and sober, okay? Do you know that all those paths converge? At a certain point, every good path converges with every other good path. There are certain principles that are common to every one of those paths. And I didn't know that until I got on the path of sobriety and spiritual growth and began to grow back, okay, from way out yonder somewhere to where I was supposed to be in the first place, growing down. And lo and behold, here comes people I can understand walking a different path. And here come people I understand walking the different path and the first thing you know we're on a different past but we're all on the same path and it's all coming together. It's almost like coming home. The 12-step path works real good for addiction. It works better, I will not hesitate to say that, than anything else to ever come around. At some point on the path, some of you members have probably killed me for this, but at some point along the path it may be necessary for you to parallel your path with a psychological path. It may be necessary for you to parallel your path You know With a religious path And that is your business Okay Just keep in mind where it is you're going Home Where is that? A place of relationships With who? With others And with God I used to hear preachers talk about in him we live and move and have our being did you ever hear them say that it's a wonderful statement isn't it I never understood that statement I didn't, it just sounded wonderful I hear wonderful things a lot of times they don't make no sense to me and all of a sudden the light goes on I believe the reverse of that is true A story told by Chuck C. out in California once I never will forget He told me there's three little fishes Living in the ocean, Pacific So these three little fish Are swimming around one day Playing, you know As a big fish came swimming by I said, hi y'all They said, hey He said, isn't it a nice day? They said yeah, it's a nice date He said well isn't the water nice? And he swam off first little fish turned to the second one and said what's water he said I don't know he turned to the third one and said you know what water is he said no I don' t know and he said these three little fishes swam around the Pacific Ocean for the rest of their life searching for that in which they lived and moved and had their being and we're told God's closer to us than our next breath and we say how can that be and we are told the kingdom of heaven is right in the middle of you and we ask how can it be And we go looking for it like we're looking for Easter eggs. That's natural. When we talk about the spiritual teachers, you have to seek in a different way. What you've been seeking externally, you must seek inside. That is where it is. You are the answer to what you're looking por. I'm nuts, I guess. I believe each of us that God lives and moves and has His being in us. I believe that. That we are expressions of God. I really believe that! Do you realize that when you can accept that and look at that and even begin to think about that, how the question of purpose kind of comes real clear for you? you are here and I am here to express God and so is every created thing and I believe that and that's heavy isn't it and we think oh bummer got to express God you know well if you think about it that way it's a bummer but I believe laughing at myself and getting out there and cutting the fool and being happy and joyous and free and being serious and hugging some necks and kissing a few people and just plain old doing the best I can do today is what I'm supposed to do. And when I'm doing that, I'm okay. With who? With you, with me, and with God. I'm home. Now, I don't know when you get home to stay. Seems like I've visited it many times. Y'all know what I mean. I've visited it many times, and I just wonder, when am I going to get there to stay? I don't know. I really don't. But I do know that if I'm going to take this new path, I've got to get off the old. What that means to me is I've Got to die, if you will, to the old path and to the Old Self. And I've GOT to take that new path. It's Got to be closed. Do you understand what I'm saying? And I've got to begin a process of growth which we call an addiction recovery. And recovery, to me, is a movement back home. It's a progressive series of steps that takes us right back where we started. Right back to the bosom of the Almighty. Am I getting too religious for you? Sorry about that. Until we reach a point where we have what's called a spiritual awakening which is like, good Lord, I am His kid. it's wonderful it is absolutely wonderful good God I am even me terrible me classic story let me share it with you about going home if I were a woman see I'd read the Bible and I'd even read the big book and I would say them people are chauvinistic here but you've got to remember when these things were written okay and there's a classic story about going home which pretty well says the way it is. Okay? And all of you are familiar with it. It's called The Story of the Prodigal Son. You remember that story? You want to hear the revised Brady version of The Big Prodigial Son? It's a wonderful story. Not from a religious point of view. From a coming home point of vue. From a spiritual point of vu. Now listen to this. This kid, see? Evidently his father's rich. and so he goes to his father one day and he says I would like to have what is coming to me I want to be a man I want to run my own life I want to get out of here off the home spread and go out and try my wings you see I remember one night I told my daddy give me what is mine I was going to be the prodigal son I want to get out of here and daddy looked at me and said you're wearing what is yours my daddy said that a sweet man said that you wearing what's your gotta notice a lot of things as this story goes along that i didn't notice before the father did not argue with the kid not one word oh i don't want you to go oh stay home with me oh you know respect it's almost equivalent with godly love respect he says here probably said good luck I love you kid goes off and he detours you understand into a far country ever been there He said he wasted his substance in riotous living. He blew his wad, y'all. He's broke. Probably hung over. Pusher wouldn't speak to him. Bootlegger didn't want to see him. You know? Because it said there came a great famine in the land. Oh, Lord, I ain't got no booze. Great famine in the land and no man gave unto him. You ever been there? And he says, I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. I got the shakes real bad. I've got to get somewhere with all to take care of myself. So like you and me, he got a job. I used to get jobs just keep temporary long enough to get one paycheck so I could get drunk and then I'd disappear. I went to work for Goodyear Tire and Rubber Company one day. I worked about two weeks with them. Went out to lunch one day and the man didn't see me again for ten years. It's God's truth. And then I was sober. He said, I always wanted to ask you, where did you go that day? I could have said on a long journey into a far country, you know. And this kid, and we forget this, you know, we Gentiles forget this. This is a Jewish kid they're talking about. He got him a job. You remember what his job was? Jewish boy tending hugs. And Jews and pigs don't go together. Except one, my friend Manny Berger. He's dead now. He used to live up in Columbia. One of the finest aid members there walked on two feet. And every time I was down there, Manny wanted to talk to me. You know, I was about the only one he had talked to. And he'd say, come on over to the house and we'll give you a kosher ham sandwich while we talk. Got a job tending hogs, right? He's working but he hadn't got his first check. Evidently it was one of those jobs where they withheld your first week's pay. I hated them. And he's still hungry. And I love the Middle English language, you know. It says, He fain would eat the husk that the swine did eat. I know what they're talking about. They're talking bout pig slop. The boy gonna eat pig slop, and he's a Jew, and his tins are hogs. Are you ready for that? The shit done hit the fan. You understand what I'm saying? I mean, that's like hitting bottom, isn't it? Wonderful thing. It says he came to himself. You ever think about that in terms of the second step? He came to Himself. Now, think about the second step. And he said, self, you're in a hog pen. It's all gone. Now, he says, Daddy's got the big spread back there. and he says and listen I'm not fit to be his kid anymore but maybe he'll let me work as a servant because the servant has got plenty to eat and wear and a place to sleep so he heads on back with his tail between his legs you know because he's no damn good well we put off on God a lot of stuff You know, I put off my judgment on me, on God. You ever notice how closely your self-concept relates to your God concept? If you haven't, please do. If you think you are rotten, you're going to have a punishing God. There is no other way. If you Think You Need Judgment, You're Going to Have a Judge for a God. And this boy went home saying, I ain't worthy of being his son. What was he looking for when he got there? What was He expecting? an angry father, right? Story says when he was a long way off the father saw him. Sound like a judge? Sound like he's mad at the boy? Just waiting to get him? No. And went running out. He saw him when he's a long way off. Went running out, hugged his neck, kissed him. The kid's probably standing there mumbling, saying, I ain't worth being your boy anymore. You know, I Ain't Worth Being Your Boy Anymore. Punish me, punish me, punishment me. Well, we do a number on ourselves, and the Father's kissing on him. Put a ring around his finger. Symbol of God's love. No beginning, no end. And God's Love says, Whatever you do, I love you. Nothing you can do is going to change that, ever. Said, I missed you. I'm glad you're back. My brother came running up and says, What are you making a fuss about this boy for? He's been out there blowing his wad. You know, he's a bad boy. My father says in effect, Hush, I don't want to hear that. He said, Go on back there where we keep the fatted calf. I think they called him. That's U-H-D-A choice, y'all. That's the one for the cookout. He said go back out there and kill the fattied calf. We're going to have a party. Your brother was dead and he's alive again. I'm happy. And that's the journey. We go out, and the Father waits. We go out and we try our wings, you know, and we take some detours, and we end up in our personal pig pen, and we're hungry, and we sick, and we're tired, and we're shaky. And we head on in saying to ourselves, I'm not worth two cents. And on the journey, on the path we grow more and more and more back towards being a child of the Father until we get home and the Father says you're still a child you're a child you're silly growing down coming back. I don't care how you put it to what you were in the first place. And then trying to stay on that path, trying to stay on it and grow some more and grow somore and grow somore. You want a break for a little while? I know the smoker's about to die for a cigarette. It's about ten minutes to twelve. You want a break for lunch, do you, Jerry? You all want a break and get some lunch? Do you? Okay. How long would you need? About an hour. I'll be back here at 1 o'clock. Okay. Any questions? Sure? Have I made any of you mad? Nobody? Huh? Okay. See you at 1 O'clock Remember Meister Eckhart and his statement that the soul grows not by addition but by subtraction, and the whole idea that we're trying to get across here, and I hope you're into the flow of it because it's almost unexplainable, that it really is, spiritual growth really is a process of growing down. i talk to professional groups sometimes many of whom are not recovered people and give them a pitch about how abstinence is the essence of recovery you know you abstain from whatever drug it is or whatever addiction it is that's got a hold of you but that the quintessence the pure form of recovery always and ever is spiritual growth and that you cannot maintain an abstinence without growing spiritually, and you can't grow spiritually without abstaining. And so those things are intimately connected in this growth process, this business of growing down, if you will. And a lot of the growing down has to do with what William James called deflation of the ego. Some people balk when you say deflate ego. They almost equate that word with annihilate ego, you know, destroy ego. We're talking about... Okay, let me put it this way. In Little Red Hen language, which is the way I understand things best, there is in me, there was and there probably always will be a little spoiled brat that lives right inside of me, about eight fingers above my navel. Okay? He sits in his high chair and he beats on it with a spoon. And he says, do it and do it now and do It My Way or I will retaliate. Now, we are talking about, in recovery, if you will, turning the brat into a child who is simply sitting in his chair. Not directing things, but living his life calmly and quietly and allowing those around him to do likewise. So we're talking about getting healthy here. We're not talking about killing the kid. That's a big jump. We're nicht talking about that. But in a certain sense, the kid dies. The kid dies any person who recovers has to sacrifice and sacrifices are that's a nice word i guess for death you know there's giving up to do here and some of the things that accompanied you know my addiction my drinking problem uh my inability to abstain were some of these things were very precious to me you see some of these things are very precious and you have to die to those things there is no spiritual growth i don't believe without a death seems to me for rebirth to occur you know there's got to be some demise somewhere and with most of us it's like the influence of of the spoiled brat is reduced little by little and the little kid begins to increase more and more so it's like a balancing kind of a thing that makes any sense at all okay a balancing a bringing down the word anonymity do you know the root of that word any greek scholars in here i hope not any greeks i use greek words sometimes i had a student in the class one day that was a Greek, and she said, you're wrong, and she had to straighten me out. Anonymous. Anonymity says the 12th tradition is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personnel. Anonymacy is the greatest ego deflator on the face of the earth. That's what it's for. It says when we're outside that door out there, we're many different people, many different statuses, if you will, as society has us in these levels of society, whatever they may be. But when we walk through that door, titles disappear. Educational status disappears. Male and female even, ideally, disappear. Particular religious beliefs, which we honor among each other, are left outside that door. And we come in here equal. Okay? We come in there equal. Anonymity, okay, means I'm no better than you, I'm no worse than you. In the truest sense, I am you. What happens to you happens to me. What happens to me happens to you. It is the greatest bonding mechanism on the face of the earth. And we read through those twelve traditions and we read about anonymity, and many of us consider anonymity like a band-aid, you know, a protective covering that you put over a sore called alcoholism or addiction of some kind. Not a celeb, an ego deflator. If you will take the time someday to look at all of the 12 traditions, please, from an ego-deflation standpoint, you're going to see what the 12 Traditions are really for. All of those 12 Tradutions are saying, individual, reduce the ego. Fellowship, keep the ego reduced, or we will destroy one another. It's a very important kind of process. It really is. So we're trying to take the spoon from this poor brat and say, Hey kid, we love you. You know, don't tell us what to do. Settle down a little bit. And the irony of spiritual growth is that only the kid can grow that way. Only the brat can lay down his spoon. I can take it away from him, but he'll pick it up again as soon as he gets a chance. Only the prat can laydown his spoon." Now, each of us in this process of growing down are carrying with us a certain attitude, a certain outlook on life. Did you know there's an addictive outlook? I believe that there is. I sit down with people. One gentleman was mentioned he was bulimic. I'm an alcoholic, but I bet that he and I could sit down and talk in terms of attitudes and outlooks feelings and values and beliefs and we're right on. We're right on. I found my detour in alcohol. He found his particular detouring in food and in binging on it. Okay? We carry with us a certain outlook, and we don't come into the world with the outlook. And we're talking about getting back to where we were to begin with, okay? Through a process of called rebirth along with regeneration, being made all over again. That's the process of going down, rebirthing, going all over, again each of us deals with this thing right here. Do you ever stop and ask yourself, what is reality? It's a wonderful word, isn't it? We use it all the time, don't we? Daily. I love Lily Tomlin's comedy. You know her character, the bag lady? Bag lady shuffling along. She knows what reality is. She turns to the audience and says, reality is a collective hunch. And if they tell me if you get too close to it, you get all stressed out. It upsets you. I like that. A friend of mine who's a marvelous doctor, spiritual doctor in California. Reality, he says, is we all live according to our own personal myth, he said. And if enough people agree on it, we call it reality. it's paul brenner you ever get a chance to to read any of his stuff uh one book he wrote called life is a shared creation another one that he wrote health is a question of balance in which he says mind-boggling things like isn't it a shame that we never notice we have a thumb until we jam it in the door he's a nutty doctor he's brilliant absolute genius to hear him talk as a gas, I'll tell you. Okay? And he became anonymous. He was the head of female cancer service at a very large university and got bored with it and started treating people with prayer and meditation. He'll spend a day or two or three days with one patient. Okay. Somebody tell me what reality is? Anybody? Nobody wants to tell me what reality. Am I going to have to go home not knowing what reality is. Patty, tell me what reality is okay the way things really are and not the way you won't see him. Yeah? Wait, what? Everybody hear that? You know, back when I was in school, they taught me grammar. They always trained my left brain. Did you notice that? Oh, my left brain really got it. Logic, grammar, rhythm check, all this kind of stuff. Reality is a subject and is is a verb. Remember what kind of verb that is? Small English lesson here. They call it a linking verb now, don't they? The verb to be. And after a linking verb comes a word that describes the subject. Yeah, okay? Reality is now. You said you make your own reality. I agree. I fill in this blank. I could go around this room and take a secret poll right on a piece of paper what reality is. Everybody here would have an opinion about what reality is and some of them would miss each other by miles and someof them would come very close together and if we got into certain aspects of reality they'd start coming even closer together until we got the addictive view of reality but just for now let's say this reality is for me what I see it to be I agree with you reality is for me what I see it to be i behave according to what i think don't you and reality or my view of it and my behavior are intimately connected example this is a bad world i was i was doing a group up in ashville north carolina you ever see one of these there's not one here I'll make sure before I say it one of those little old ladies and they're cute and they've got blue hair you know how they put that stuff on their hair and they get it all blue and everything she's the prettiest little thing you ever saw absolutely denied she was an addiction she'd been on an addict she'd be on Valium for 23 years right she could not be addicted to it because it was prescribed by her doctor okay one of them bless her heart I hope she's still alive and I ask her what is reality And her response was, do you really want me to tell you? I said, yes ma'am, I do. Are you sure? Yes, I am. Yes, sir, I'm going to tell him. Are you really sure you want me? I almost had to pull it out. Yes, Sir, I want to hear what reality is. She said, okay. Life is a plunger and we're all pieces of shit. You hear that? That's the way she filled in that blank. What kind of life do you think she had, Carol? God, what a bummer. You know? You think your view of reality doesn't affect your behavior? And the lady did. She had a rotten life and she was depressed a lot, you know? And she was anxious a lot and valium was indicated. Wanted to detour. You see? I make my reality. I live according to what I see. If I see you as friend, to my behavior toward you is quite different than if I see you as enemy, etc., etc., etc. And it is I who see you that way. Alright? Then this brings up a question. If my behavior is so intimately related to my view of reality, who's responsible for my behavior? That one hurts, doesn't it? Me. That's right. The eminent philosopher Pogo put it very well, folks. I have found the enemy and he is me. I form my reality. I live according to what I form there. Okay? Now, what does it tell us to? If, suppose, what can I use for reality here? Let's just use this key. Now, what Lisa sees is different than, what's your name? Jerry, than what Jerry sees. Isn't that different than what you see in the green cap? What was your name? It's different from what I see. Every one of us in here sees a piece of that reality. Is that not right? Then, what lesson can we learn from this? Reality's point of view? Another lesson. If I want to know more about what really is, I must relate to you. There is simply no way for me to find out about the fullness of life and reality, okay, without you. That's a magic word, we again. But we egomaniacs believe that our point of view is the only right point of vue and we run around trying to convince everybody else that it is because we're so afraid that it them. Any of you know any AA fanatics? I was one. I know what they're like. They secretly walk on water, or try. You see? Any of y'all know any religious fanatics, certainly? There are fanatics everywhere, frightened, egocentric people who are determined that their point of view must be supported by everyone else. Okay? So we need each other. Each of us is responsible for his or her own behavior, and we behave according to what we see reality to be. Are you with me so far? Now, we have widely differing viewpoints on what reality is, and yet many people share a common point of view. I ran around with a bunch of people who shared my view of reality. Did you all not do the same thing? I was admitted to a fraternity in college because ostensibly I shared their point of view. I went to the Baptist church and sat next to old Miss Sims because ostensively I shared her point of review. I fit. and I ran around with Egghead and Jump and Ducky and that bunch that I ran with, you know? Crazy names we had for each other. They was calling me Sweet Lips beside them instead of Pudding Head, by the way. And I shared that point of view. Now tell me something. You run around with a drinking or drugging crowd, you share that point-of-view, you go into treatment or you get sober and you stay sober two weeks and you go back with that crowd and you drink again and it surprises you. Why should it surprise you? And these old uglies around the program say, change your playgrounds, change your playmates. Well, they don't like my people. It's not that. It's that if you're going to fit, you're gonna have to share that point of view. If you share that part of it, if you share the point of you, you're gone do again what you were doing before. There's no two ways about it. And boy, people differ in their points of view of reality widely. We differ in this room widely in some respects, okay? Philosophically, there are differences. About psychology, there're differences. about what human beings are and are not. There are wide differences. We know this. But certain people share common views of reality, essentially common views of reality. Did you know that? We talk about certain religious groups and they share a common view and certain philosophical groups and they chair a common views. But there are two other groups of people that share a commons view of reality that I never thought of until I really got thinking about this. Healthy people and unhealthy people. share a common view of reality. Any of you ever understand healthy people? I mentioned this last night. I just never understood healthy people. I didn't know how to be healthy. I had to have someone to teach me who had had to learn from somebody else, who had to learned from somebody other. Yes, we do need one another. Let's do a little scenario here. The healthy guy. The alarm clock goes off in the morning. Then he reaches over, and he cuts it off. And he sits up on the side of the bed, and he's not too happy about getting up. You know, he's still a little heavy-eyed and everything, but he wipes his eyes and says, Oh, well, time to get up. Wish I could sleep longer, but got to go. And he's up off the bed now. Goes in the bathroom and passes the mirror and sees his image. He says, You're not the prettiest thing in the world, but you're not that pretty. You're the ugliest one either. I believe you're enough. Whatever comes up today, I think you can handle it. This is the healthy person talking to himself in the mirror. I never understood that. By this time he is singing, right? He hasn't been up ten minutes. He's humming a little tune to himself while he, you know, begins to shave. This is a healthy person. And he's talking to himself, dialoguing. And he says, uh, got to go in the office today and you've got that job to finish and Sam's trying to, you now, get in your way here. There's always going to be somebody trying to get in our way. Don't let it bother you. go ahead and do the best you can. It'll be all right. You're going to make mistakes.