Higher Power and Spiritual Experience – Big Book – Tim – Workshop – Neptune, NJ – Part 8 of 18 – Local AA Speakers

Good evening, everyone. I'm a recovered alcoholic called Big Book Tim. We skipped the announcements tonight. No, we forgot about Leo. We forgot about Neo. Can you imagine if we could forget about Leo? Me and you. Sorry. We have a business meeting next week right after the thing that you mentioned, Matt, right? There's some other stuff. I have an announcement, too. We'll put that up there. My home group, which is the Tuesday night Atlantic Highlands Turning Point Group in Atlantic Highland, New Jersey. And we are having our celebration meeting as well as our group anniversary on January 31st. So if you feel like taking a nice two-hour ride down to Jersey, you can come and join us for some food fellowship fun and maybe some dancing, maybe some definitely inventory taking, that's for sure. We'll definitely be going on there. Excuse me, you are correct, Bobby. December 31st, not January 31th. December 31th, New Year's Eve, the last day of the year. That's right, this guy's his name. And so, you know, and we won't be there all night. So you can go and count somewhere, you'll know the wonderful stuff. So we are on page 44, chapter 4, Re-Agnostics. As I like to call it, the God chapter. Because here's where we're going to kind of present God and we're gonna pull you into God and step 2 is in this chapter and we finish up step 1 within this chapter and we present some things in here. to me it's kind of the turning point chapter and here we are we're at page 44 right 44 so we had 43 pages in doctor's opinion four forwards and a preface to get us to this statement here in the preceding chapters you have learned something about alcoholism let's hope so because I mean really like 43 pages and you know four forwards a preifice a doctor's opinion And, I don't know, like if you haven't, like read it again or have somebody read it to you because that's what I do with people that I take through the book because it reads differently to me than it does to people who are coming in and then he's, yeah, I'm getting that back, you know. I want to see my new beard, huh? See change is possible. We're going to have it in just a week, you now. So, and then it goes on to say, you knows, he says, we hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic. Okay? And that was kind of the purpose of the preceding pages and chapters, to make that clear. So that way when you get to this point, you're really not going, um, I'm not really sure. Can you tell me what an alcoholic is? And it's kind of like, no, I can't. You know, if you haven't gotten it by now, you know, or maybe you're in denial or something like, let's go step over to your bar room and try some controlled drinking, you knows. Oh, look, you're an alcoholic. How's that? Okay, so then there's some qualifiers here, right? He says, if when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. Okay,so he redefines it for us again. So those are qualifiers when people are walking through the door and thinking that they're supposed to be here. Maybe they were sent by the judge and maybe they were sent by, you know, maybe they have a back problem, you know. They just want their wife off their back or their husband off their butt, you know? So these are qualifiers because ultimately Alcoholics Anonymous is supposed to be interested in alcoholics and giving a treatment for alcoholism. Not for sick people who have other issues that just come here and treat something like the fellowship and the coffee and they go, I feel a part of, you know... Okay, so... Which is all great, you know that's fabulous but, you know our purpose, our main purpose, our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. Okay? So that's what we're doing here. So now we can qualify people. We can say, hey, listen, when you drink, can you 100% of the time successfully predict the outcome of a night? Now I know what you're thinking. You're going to get some smartasses that say, yeah, I'm going to eat a junk. Right? Okay? But that's not true either. Right? Because there are some of us who are alcoholics of the hopeless variety, real alcoholics that we drink and we keep drinking and drinking and drinking and we don't get drunk. Right? I mean, I recall, I remember being at a party one time when I was drinking and you know, one of the things that like my party drink as it were were Budweiser long necks. Okay? Because I used to smoke too so I could hold the cigarette and the beer in one hand and just circulate with the other and be very emphatic about things I'm saying while smoking and drinking. So, no, that was the whole point. So at one point, you know, there was this girl there that I was trying to impress and, you look, that's what you do. And at one moment she says to me, aren't you drunk yet? I was like, no! Like indignant, right? And she says, wow. I'm like, what are you talking about? I've only had like a half a case of beer. Right? Half a case a beer! Well, you know, like the people, you know, the government, the experts on alcoholism, NIA, which is the National Institute of Alcohol Addiction, you know, they say that you're a spree drinker or you're having, you're binge drinking if when you're female you have more than two drinks in a setting. Two! Right? And if you're male, more than three. Okay? So I had four men's worth and I still wasn't drunk. Okay, so I really couldn't successfully predict at the beginning, you know what? I'm going to have 12 beers and be drunk because I wasn't and I was pretty much kind of hoping I wasn't at that point either because that annoyed me. Like, the quicker I got drunk, I would get annoyed at being drunk too soon. You know, too soon! I always like to be drunk at the end of the night. You know? Not at the begining because then you get thrown out of places, you're causing a You know what I mean? Like, you have to pace your drunkenness. Anybody identify? So then there's the other qualifier, okay? If, when you honestly want to, you cannot quit entirely, okay, and we've touched on that. There's many qualifiers earlier on in the book of that phenomenon of craving that gets kicked off and we drop that in there and here we go. And, man, I really want to stop drinking, but I can't. I just can't. And I'm only going to have two. Isn't it amazing that's all we ever drank was two? Have you been drinking tonight, sir? Two! Okay, so then, now he sets it up, okay? You're probably alcoholic, probably alcoholic. Now if this be the case, if that be thecase, if you're alcoholic, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. Those are important words right there. Okay, that's Alcohol Synonymous' opinion about alcoholism. If you are an alcoholic, there is only one solution to it that's going to kick its ass. Because that's what conquer means. It means to defeat. It means To Overthrow. It means get to the other side of it. To not suffer from it. For it not to be beating you. Because we do get well in here. That's the whole purpose. We can't stay sick our entire lives. If we're going to be sick with 20 years of sobriety, go drink, please. We need to be beacons of hope for people who are coming in who are sick. That they're not going to suffer the rest of their life from alcoholism. We have something that will conquer it. And here's the key. And Bill does this throughout the book. He says only. Okay? Because as I've talked about over and over and ever again, if you're going to give me a third choice, the easier, softer way, I'm always going to take that. I'm also going to do it because now you're presenting, again, you're representing me as a spiritual experience which means, oh God, I've got to get a God now. What are you talking about? There's got to be a different way. No. If I'm an alcoholic, a real alcoholic of the hopeless variety and I qualify, I can't control my drinking when I'm drinking. I can enjoy it. You know, if I'm trying to control it I'm not enjoying it. If I'm enjoying it, I'm definitely not controlling it. All this stuff, if I have that phenomenon of craving and at the same time the allergy to it and I have an obsessive mind with a compulsive body, only one solution. There is only one solution. And we read about that in the chapter called There is a Solution. Two alternatives, not a third. Right? It's about that. It's without breaking it down. So then he continues. He says, To one who feels he is an atheist or an agnostic, such an experience seems impossible. Impossible, right? I don't believe in God. Really. Well, here's the thing. I always get these people. You know, like, I get the atheists and the agnostics. I never get the people who come in and they're just like lit up and on fire about God, you know? Because there are those people. They come in and they get it. They're like, oh, God's the solution. Yes, I know. Okay, good. I'll put down the drink and I'm going to do these things. I'm not going to stop praying and meditating or I'm only going to be a part of it. I'm just going to go through these steps because it tells me, you now, I get that people are like, yeah, well, prove it. That's what I get all the time, you know? So fortunately for me, my higher power is so cool that my higher powers gave me, God, my God, gave me a solution to that. There is one God that I have found that is not some sort of deity, there's not some kind of deity that's not from some sort of spirit in the sky, There's not some sort of czar of the heavens. That is not some guiding parent or a man walking around in Birkenstocks in the desert. You can let me know. It's funny. I have been given a solution to that, right? There's one that conquers all of them. It's pretty cool, right. And you all know what it is. You all absolutely know what it is and you're all slaves to it. You are all denizens of it, just like myself. So it's a great starting point for people who can't get the other sort of deist sort of God. Now, I'll explain it to you. There is one thing that has power over absolutely every living thing on this planet. Right? Living and dying. You cannot see it. You cannot smell it. You cannot touch it. You cannot taste it. You can see its effects all around you. You can seen its effects in your life. You cannot precisely measure it. The best that we've come to do is agree upon it. And it has outlived every other God that has been presented to us in human form and continues to do so. And it runs our life on a daily basis. All day, all night, we never escape it. Pretty cool, right? What did you say? That's the answer. Time. Time. That's why I sit up here and I'm sure for those of you who were here that night may have remembered me saying that time is important. Time is, you know, that's the measure of things. Okay, we celebrate time. Right? Because if all we had was just today, what's the point? I'll just drink, because all I have is today, right? It's not going to get better. It's going to be the same. It's gonna be Groundhog Day. It's just gonna loop over and over and over again. Okay, so time is something that for the people who cannot get that spirit, you know, that moves the people like myself, who actually have that kind of relationship with my God, time is a great starting point. Right? Because what do we tell people who are new, who are white-knuckling it, who just can't get it. And they're like, how could you tell me that the solution to my problem of drinking is God? Right? Because that's really alien. It was definitely alien to me because I was raised with God that didn't work and I was up yours and all that stuff, right? And I had this intellectual mountain that I was standing in the shadow of and so people would say things like, just keep coming back. Just don't drink today. 24-hour living, they call it. Right? And I had to break it down further than that because 24 hours was too much for me. 24 hours, that's a long time. Right? I was very fortunate when I started getting sober, I had a job. Okay? And I worked in the restaurant industry. So my shifts were 10 hours. So that was 10 covered right there. Oh, cool. So now I'm only down to 14 I got to cover. Well, I had like... You know, in the beginning, I would say eight hours, but that's alive because I didn't sleep much when I first got sober. Okay, so then I had a meeting. I would get a meeting in somewhere. So that's an hour just for the meeting. And then I'll have the meeting before the meeting, which was usually like a half hour, meeting after the meeting which was actually two hours. So there's three and a half gone. Right? So now I'm getting my day smaller and smaller. Okay? And what I would do, and this is something that was very important to me because I had to because my mind was so obsessive. my mind was constantly thinking about drinking I need to drink, I need to drink that's how my mind was I'm sure nobody else experienced that so what was I going to do with that? I couldn't fix that and what you were presenting me was you can't fix that. You need a God to do that because my head is telling me you've got to drink Got a drink, got a drink. That's going to fix it. That's the only way I'm shutting up. You need to give me a drink or I'm not going to shut up. Right? So, I would combat that with this wonderful thing. I would say, it's okay. I can have a drinking. Right? I would give myself permission. I can drink. I can't have a drunk. I just won't drink right now. I'll drink later. I'll have a drinking five minutes. And then that five minutes would go by. I was like, look at that. I did it for five. I can do it for another five. I can see it for an hour. And that's what I needed to do. I needed to do that. And that went on probably 18 months. Even after going through this process and the steps and having a spiritual experience and a spiritual vision, I still had that obsessive mind doing that, right? So I needed something and time was the answer for me. Okay, so for people who can't get to that nebulous spiritual connection that this book talks about, it's a good starter point. Pass it on. people struggle with that. Right? You can do it. If I can do it for five minutes, so can you. And that starts to develop hope. That starts to develop faith. Because it's starting to change your belief system. Right? Because if you can believe that you can stay sober for another five minutes and then you do, that's kind of powerful right there. You start to have a spiritual experience. And that's starting to conquer or your alcoholism. So that's pretty key, right? So that is an experience that I was blessed to be given and I pass that on to you and I hope it helps people that you may be helping or somebody in this room that may be struggling with it, right. Okay, so then he goes on but to continue as he did means disaster especially if he is an alcoholic of a hopeless variety, okay. We are not interested in the people who can stop on a non-spiritual basis. That's not what AA is for. That's Not What This Book Is For. That's not to whom it applies. That's nicht zu we want to touch, that we want to reach. Ex-problem drinkers, good for you. Don't drink, go to meetings, have fun. Spiritual solution. Hopeless variety alcoholics is what we're dealing with, right? Now here it is again. Now he's going to present the same thing with different words again. He says, to be doomed to an alcoholic death. That's choice one. Or, to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face. There isn't a third. Two, that's it. Die or get gone. Right? And most of us have to think about it. Right? Who's God? I don't know. Dying didn't sound too bad to me. Because that's what I was after anyway. You know, I was there for God. I was here for Jeff. Because this, how I was living was just awful. because I was continuing, it meant disaster if I was continuing the way I was, right? Okay. So then he goes on to say but it isn't so difficult. Isn't that nice hope right there? It isn't too difficult. About half our original fellowship were exactly that type. At first some of us tried to avoid the issue, hoping against hope we were not true alcoholics. So even back then there was still the don't drink and go to meetings people prior to the meetings. Okay, he's still looking for that alternative. Well, if I just change my behavior and as you know, if you're an alcoholic of the hopeless variety, the problem is not your behavior. Right? That's your solution. It's your behavior The problem is your belief. The problem's your mind. The problem' s your thought. Center's in the mind. You've read that, right? Alright, so He says, but after a while we have to face the fact Oh, a fact, right that we must find a spiritual basis of life or else. Dum, dum, dum. Okay, so three times on that page she gave us, this is it. If you're here, if you're stuck, you're screwed, and this is your only answer. Right? Because this is where we generally lose people. Where they want to go and do some research and development and find a different way because there's plenty of other groups out there that are willing to give you a solution for your alcoholism without God and without steps. Okay, cool. If they work, good luck. God bless you. I'm all for it. I'm ALL for it! But I know this is what worked for me and I needed to do this or else I was going to die, right? Perhaps it is going to be that way with you. Here's some more hope, right?" But cheer up! Cheer up! Something like half of us thought we were atheists or agnostics. Isn't that cool? He's letting you know, hey, don't worry, we were just like you. Our experience shows that you need not be disconcerted. Oh, cool. Now here's another argument against don't drink and go to meetings. If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. Right? But we couldn't. and he says we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us no matter how much we tried right, and how many times you hear that in meetings with people these poor people who are just going through the revolving door and relapsing all the time because they're not being given the solution and saying here, follow this I'll lead you, I'll guide you I'll walk through it with you and the room is just relapsed again he doesn't go to enough meetings he eats a coffee commitment he's got to get involved in service no he needs a spiritual experience or else he's going to be doomed to an alcoholic death I'm not making this stuff up it's right here, I'm reading it to you and I didn't write this book unfortunately I wish I did I'm that just brilliant this is incredible this is miraculous stuff we could wish to be moral We could wish to be philosophically comforted. In fact, we could will these things with all our might. But the needed power wasn't there. Uh-oh. Power. We're getting to the problem here, huh? Our human resources, as marshaled by the will, were not sufficient. They failed utterly. So even a group of drunks, you know that cute little hook that they give you? You know, God is a group for drunks. Well, that's a human power too. And that's not going to save you either. I never understood that anyway. I'm going to put my trust in a whole bunch of people who have no power, I'm gonna give them my power. Makes no sense to me whatsoever. That's cult mentality right there. Okay? And here it is. Lack of power. That was our dilemma. Hmm. Now a dilemma. What's a dilemma? It's when you come through a fork in the road and a decision must be made. You cannot go backward. You cannot stop. You have to go left or right. You know, remember Yogi Berra said when you come to a fork in the road, take it. Right? Because that's where we are. It's a dilemma. Now what are we going to do, right? Lack of power is my dilemma. I get to that turning point and the best that I can do, even today after over 21 years of recovery, the best thing I can say to myself, the best things that I could do today without God is make the wrong turn and go and drink. That's the best that I can do today. But I have power today. I have power because I have God in my life, and God gives me power to make the right decision. We have to find a power by which we can live. And it has to be a power greater than ourselves. I love this. Obviously. Like, duh. Right? But where and how were we to find this power? It's an excellent question, right? Well, that's exactly what this book is about. Really? This book? This book, this book is going to give me access To a power greater than myself That's going to live my life This book right here Owes you big book thumpers Sounds like it's a book that's going To save a life I can tell you for certain it saved mine I've seen it save other people Yeah, I'm going to send you this book Because I can't give you that power That you need I can Absolutely not I can show you what I do I can share the tools that I use and then say, here, here's how I use that. Do you want to use it? Give it a try. It may work. I can't tell you what's going to keep you sober. I can. I can tell you from my experience that if you have a God running your life that you have the power that you believe in that you are a man that you turn to everything in your life you've got a much better shot at today. Much better shot. And your life starts to happen and roll in a way that you can never do yourself. I mean, I couldn't. We talked about that on page 25, right? The central fact in our lives today is that he's entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. Well, there ain't no group of drunks in there. It's God. It's cool, right ? It's awesome. So then here he says its main object is to enable you to find a power greater than yourself which will solve your problem. Well, what problem ? Oh, my alcohol problem. Oh, so I get a higher power to solve my alcohol problem? Hmm. Aren't we sick all the time? Don't we never become recovered? Okay, that means, aha, we have written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral. It means, of course, that we are going to talk about God. Wow. Look at that. We're going to start talking about God? Oh, no, I can't do that. All right, well, go drink and we'll be here you know because how many times do you hear that in meetings there's too much God stuff in meetings it's going to scare the newcomer away bye the alcohol will scare him back right ok so here difficulty arises with agnostics oh I'm sorry no I'm right it arises with agnostic many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems, his weight in our fellowship. But a space falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especially when we mention God. For we have reopened the subject which our man thought he had neatly evaded or entirely ignored. Ha ha! Gotcha. Right? Because that's our sales pitch, really. I mean, we have ourselves as an example. Our lives, the fulfillment of our lives the new freedom, the new happiness we have the nine step promises that come true in our life and the ten step promises that come through in our lives and all of these promises that shout great tidings that Eddie Thatcher came and sat down with Bill Wilson and what happened? The man was sober and he shouted great tidINGS shouted great tidings that's like wow that's the power we have that's incredible Right? And then what happens? People see that and they're like, yeah, I want that. How'd you do that? It's like, oh God. Really? Now I'm at church again? That doesn't work for me. Jesus didn't work. I know I was raised Jewish so I have to get away from that because my mother was Jewish. You know, no, no. I'm Muslim and that doesn't matter. Gosh. On and on and on. Okay. Well then you don't want what we have. But that's what we had. We know how he feels. We've shared his honest doubt and prejudice. Some of us have been violently anti-religious to others. The word God brought up a particular idea of him, with which someone tried to impress them during childhood. Anybody have that kind of guilt in their life? That punishing God? If you don't clean your room, you're going to hell? Right? that, oh, I'm going to use God to teach you. No wonder people go, oh, no, no. Because they found that drink and that drink became God. And that worked much better than God that mom and dad or sister or father or mister or missus or all those authority figures were using to subjugate. Right? It's awful. I love my God. My God is so cool. I hope you have one like mine. Really, for yourself? I have such a great relationship with God. I really do. It's wonderful. Perhaps we rejected this particular conception because it seemed inadequate. With that rejection, we imagined we had abandoned the God idea entirely. We were bothered with the thought that faith and dependence upon a power beyond ourselves was somewhat weak, even cowardly. We looked upon this world of warring individuals Warring theological systems And inexplicable calamity With deep skepticism We looked askance at many individuals Who claimed to be godly Rightly so, I think How could a supreme being Have anything to do with it all? And who can comprehend a supreme thing anyhow? Yet in other moments we found ourselves thinking When enchanted by a starlit night Who then made all this? there was a feeling of awe and wonder but it was fleeting and soon lost yes, we of agnostic temperament have had these thoughts and experiences let us make haste to reassure you we're going to reassore you right we found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a power greater than ourselves right, willingness remember I talked about that it's eager compliance a cheerful choice. Okay, I'm ready. Here we go. Right? We commence to get results. Commence. Oh, there's that word again. Commence to complete something old and start something new. Even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that power. What power? Oh, he tells us. which is God. See, so AA defines God, doesn't it? Tells you what it is. It's that power. What is it? That power. What power? You know, that power Which power? You know that one You know we understood them I know people who call their God as I understand him Okay, cool Does that work for you? Yeah, cool Great, groovy It's not them, it's not human Next. It's pretty cool. Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider another conception of God. Yeah. Much to my relief, too. Anybody else have that experience? Right? You know, like, you better get this God. You're going to hell. And they throw scripture at you. That's fun. Which is even great because I tell them that's not what it says. Our own conception, however inadequate Was sufficient to make the approach And to effect a contact with him As soon as we admitted The possible existence of a creative intelligence A spirit of the universe underlying the totality of things We began to be possessed Of a new sense of power and direction Provided we took other simple steps like ten of them we found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek him, that's pretty cool right? God doesn't, humans do you know if you want to be a priest you need to go through seminary school you needto know all this what are you talking about? and then there's things that you just go right online and you sign up and now you're a reverend because that's how they did it before You know, somebody just said, I'm the priest. Well, what do you know? Well, God's telling me. Oh, okay, well listen to him. And then we'll write it down. I mean, that's how it started. But now we have these books. We have thesebooks with which we need to know this stuff, this stuff. And then you get a collar. Your collar says you know that stuff. Right? Okay, that is fine. But God doesn't tell us we need to do that. God just says, hey man, I am here. I am there, dude. What do you need? Oh, you need some relief? Okay, cool. Oh, you don't need to drink today? We should do that together. Just rely on me. Every time you think you want a drink, think, hey God asked me not to drink. I'll take care of it. Right? That's pretty cool. That's my experience. Right? Like that, going through your head. You know, and humans would be like, what's your problem? You! Right? But God goes, hey man, come on in I got it Thanks, yeah, you know, good You have another day? Cool, go to sleep I'll be here tomorrow when you get up Cool It's wonderful It's not too hard, it's awesome To us Meaning Alcohol Synonymous The writers of this book The realm of the spirit is broad Roomy All-inclusive Never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is openly believed to all men. That's pretty cool, right? It doesn't require that you believe a particular brand, just that you believed something. That's awesome, right ? When therefore we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God. This applies too to other spiritual expressions you find in this book. Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms to deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you. I have to start, this was all we needed to commence spiritual growth. There it is again. Commence ending in something old, beginning something new, right? To affect our first conscious relation with God as we understood Him. Our first one. That's pretty cool. Afterward, we found ourselves accepting many things which then seemed entirely out of reach. That was growth. but if we wish to grow we had to begin somewhere so we used our own conception however limited it was so he said it again because he said that on the other page too it's inadequate because ultimately really who's going to know God? The arrogance of being able to put God in a box to me is just that I have my conception it's adequate it works it gives me power and it's constantly growing, right? But I like that. It's kind of that, you know, it's a seed. We start here. We put the seed in the ground and then we nurture it. And it grows and it grows and it goes. And once we stop nurturing it, it dies. It's a pretty simple concept, right ? No, it's different with God. Well, it is not. Try it. How about that? Try it because I was an agnostic temperament. I mean, I wasn't an atheist. I wasn' t, you know... I knew something. I knew it wasn't me. I knew something was there, you know, the lucidances, all that kind of stuff. Stuff I couldn't explain. It could have been gremlins or whatever, you know. Oh, what? That's ridiculous. We believe in angels, you know. But, you know, don't say you believe in garden gnomes, Leo, you know. Especially you, Leo. Awesome. So now here we go. we're about to get into a step we needed to ask ourselves but one short question do I now believe or am I willing to believe that there is a power greater than myself so I put that to all of you in this room at this moment do you now believe or are you willing to belief so if your answer is yes hey guess what you just did step two that's pretty cool huh simple right aha as soon as a man can say that he does believe or is willing to believe we emphatically assure him he is on his way you're on your way was that emphatic enough? okay good alright it has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone a wonderful and effective spiritual structure can be built that's pretty cool right cornerstones for those of you who don't know They get laid in the foundation of the building, that first ring of the building. And in our particular case, we're only building an arch. So that's pretty cool. So it's this arch. So It's not that wise, nice, we could put our cornerstones in place. Because we've already laid the foundation of step one. We've already placed that. We knocked down the old structure. Because that's what was required of us to do. We had this old dilapidated crap house that we were just blotting out the miserable existence, right? We were putting patches on things. Oh, look at that. There's a hole in the wall. Let me close it down. Okay? So we had to bulldoze the entire structure if we expected to live long and prosper and to have a spiritual life, right ? So we have to lay this wonderful foundation, right, and we didn't skimp on it. So now we can put our cornerstone in place. We can put another cornerstone into place. and now we're we emphatically say hey look at that you have your cornerstones on your way ooh I'm getting chills about it I love it right wonderful now there's there's a an asterisk there at the bottom of the page that applies to my favorite appendix appendix two the spiritual experience feel free to read that on your own phone or not you know, I've been asked this and I'll touch upon it briefly you know it talks about the people who want to you know say no there's no God and they're going to struggle and all this okay it's very simple what we just did about do you now believe or are you willing to believe okay are you will are you going to believe you how are you so serious are you are you can you believe that you're not God well yeah I'm not God okay good shut up right but there's that petty arguments syllogistic logic you're all like oh my god, we just can't argue about anything man so it comes down to that educational variety and I've said it also the educational variety may be gathering information for your argument for God because that's what you're doing with an educational variety. You're just, oh, okay, that's a good, yep. Oh, okay. I like that. Ah, I got God. Right? But ultimately, when you get to that point, it's going to be sudden and profound because you finally let go. You let go of all your old crap and you commence to grow spiritually. So even the, you know, the educational varieties are still sudden ones. Next. So, and we can just keep going around and we'll just like, you know we'll play paddle ball with it. Ha ha ha ha. You know, it's about like, okay, where are we going to stand and this is my belief. Next. Because if we just keep sitting there, we're still stuck on step one and we have reservations. If I want to continue to argue the God thing, the God theme, oh, I've got a step two problem, step two problems. Then you have a step one problem. That you still have a reservation. Right? Why don't you go drink and see if maybe that will get rid of that reservation for you. Right? Okay. This was great news to us. For we had assumed we could not make use of spiritual principles unless we accepted many things on faith, which seemed difficult to believe. When people presented us with spiritual approaches, how frequently did we all say, I wish I had what that man has. I'm sure it would work if I could only believe as he believes. But I cannot accept as surely true as many articles of faith which are so plain to him. So it was comforting to learn that we could commence at a simpler level, right? I'm sure you've heard that. Like, do you believe that I believe? Well, yeah, okay, so look at that. You believe now you're kind of like, you're tethered to a belief, you know, which is a nice beginning because if you want what they have, you want to do what they did in order to get what they had. You know, I say this all the time. You know? Like when Bobby sits over there and every so often I look over, I'm like, you know, and I still haven't asked him because I'm not ready to. Like, how do these arms get like that, man? He's got great arms. Right? But he's going to tell me that I have to do something I don't want to do. So that's why I don' t ask him, you kno? Because I'm, I'm no stupid. I don''t like to get arms like that. It's hard work. I don ''t want to work that hard. I just want to go to sleep and wake up with arms like th at. Kind of what people do when they walk through the room. Oh, I' m here in AA. I was a drunk yesterday. Now it' s over ten years. He goes, ah, no. Okay, no? Alright, so, besides a seeming inability to accept much unspeak, we often found ourselves handicapped by obstinacy, sensitiveness, and unreasoning prejudice. How dare they! I'm not sensitive. I'm just cautious about my feelings. well why do you feel that way well I just do well why did you vote for them because I felt that they were the best candidate what do you have any facts about that no I just feel that way I like their tie that's pretty unreasoning prejudice isn't it go for Dan he's got a great time obstinacy right we all know what obstinancy is I love it, especially this time of year. You know, you go shopping and you see that optimistic kid, man. Come on, come on, go! No! You know the weight drop? Come on we gotta go! No! Right? Wouldn't that be cool if we could just do that? At work? Listen, I need you to finish this report by 5. No! I'm gonna try that. But it says handicapped. We're handicapped by those things. which means it's not good, right? You know, no matter how much we want to spin it and we want To Empower Handicapped, yes, we want t o do that, but there's a reason that we want to empower handicapped because it's not, it's removing power is handicapped. You know what I mean? Like, if they're not, it's like a benchmark or something and they're handicapped because they're not at that benchmark. So, if we're handicaped by obstinacy, sensitiveness, and unreasoning prejudice, phew, that's a lot, right? That's just tons of stuff. Because we need to accept things on faith. Right? Okay, now what's faith? We haven't gotten to faith yet. We're still at belief. We're stil at belief and belief is the path to faith. Belief is knowledge without proof. Okay, that' s what a belief is. It' s knowledge without proof . I know something. Right? Well, prove it. I can't really prove it, I just believe it. That's it, I believe it, okay? And that's going to be my guiding force. And that is what our job here in AA is, to challenge people's belief systems, explode them, and replace them with our belief system, which is God, is going to solve all your problems. Okay, so now, now that we believe something, we don't have any proof, right? So what's faith? Believe in something you can't see. partially. It's a good beginning, right? Because what ends up happening is that we have, for every person in this room, we all have a definition of faith. So there's a guy out in California, he's an acronym guy, and he will, you know, so I'm stealing it from him, and his answer to that is finding answers in the heart. That's pretty cool. Finding answers intheheart. I can believe that because I believe what it says on page 25. That God has entered into my heart and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. So if I'm looking for God for all my answers and He lives in my heart, I'm finding answers in my mind. I have faith. Okay? Makes sense to me. I could groove with that. But then, if I want to get metaphysical, if I wanna get philosophical, you know, faith is simply trust without reservation. trust without reservation because ultimately how many times do we hear ourselves say well you know I mostly trust them I trust you with all these things I don't trust you with this there's no like half trust there's faith there's trust, you trust without reservation and that's why we cling to things because if we have faith If we truly believe that God is going to take care of us, and getting a little ahead of ourselves, if we believe that, and then we make that decision, we make the choice to turn our thinking and our lives over to the guidance of that thing that we believe is going stop the insane thing in our life. Now we're going to trust that without reservation. We're going give all of ourselves to that and be guided by that. And when we're not, we're trusting it. We have a reservation. So guess what step we're back on? It's like playing chutes and ladders, man. You know, you go for that cookie jar and you're back on like square seven. Like manifest. Yeah. The belief. Yeah. So ultimately what it does is that once you plant that seed, that seed of belief and you start to nurture it, it bears faith. It brings that fruit of faith because people see that. People see that and they either do one of two things. They accept it and go after it and want what you have? Or in my case, they usually challenge it. You can't really have that much faith. And then they might just like argue and say, oh, what about this? Oh, here's more information. I'm just out of here with that. Don't care. This is what I believe. I have faith in that. Next. Goodbye. Yeah, but you, I don't have to prove anything to anybody. Okay? I live my life with God in it. That's it. And I like when he says when we talk about God We're talking about your own. So when I say God, it's because I'm lazy and it's three letters. Right? I don't want to walk around, my higher power, my higherpower, my lower power because I might offend somebody. Go to hell. How about that? Are you offended now? Okay, so then he continues. He says, many of us have been so touchy that even the casual reference to spiritual things made us bristle with antagonism. Isn't that a great description? ourselves. This sort of thinking had to be abandoned. Though some of us resisted, we found no great difficulty in casting aside such feelings. Why? Because faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open-minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. In this respect, alcohol was the great persuader. Here's a great statement. it finally beat us into a state of reasonableness sometimes this was a tedious process, we hope no one else will be prejudiced for as long as some of us were what a great statement, it finally beats us into a state of reasonable-ness, because what's the first step? We have to fully concede to our innermost self that we were alcoholic fully conceding, remember I talked about that like the surrender part you know, you're getting into that fight, you fight oh he's getting the better, okay I surrender and they let you go and you hit them You know, like, okay? It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness. Right? So here's alcohol. Bang! I'm not quitting! Bang! I'm NOT QUITTING! Bang! I'm like, oh, okay. Alright, I quit, man. Right? Because what's the definition of reason? It's a basis or motive for action. Right? A basis or motivation for action, so now I have a reason. Because before, I wasn't reasonable. I was running on feelings. I was handicapped by my obstinacy and my sensitiveness and my unreasoning prejudice. And he says, we hope none of you were prejudiced as long as we were. Like, it's going to kick your ass now or later. So you can give up now and, you know, kind of keep some of your health or you can just let it kill you for the next 40 years of your life. I quit. I surrender. I concede. Right? the reader may ask why he should believe in a power greater than himself okay, well why? we think there are good reasons oh, basis is of Moses' interaction let's have a look at some of them okay, so now he's going to get paid and he's coming to address the intellectuals the practical individual today is a stickler for facts and results nevertheless, the 20th century readily accepts theories of all kinds provided they are firmly grounded in fact. Now, I'd like to address that word. Fact! What is a fact? It is simply a piece of information that two or more individuals agree upon. That's a fact. One and one is two because we agree it's two. Right? One and well is two. Isn't that something you can prove with anything? No, you can't prove anything. Nothing can be proven. Right? Can't be proven? One and one is two. Why? Well, because we've got this and we've just got this too. Well, what's two? One and what? Well, why are they there? Well, it's because we agree that's what we're going to call them. So now we just name something. And we have all these different languages like one, uno, ice, un. Okay, so that's all the same thing, isn't it? But spoken in different languages. So, why do we, because one of the, and people say, oh, math is the universal language. Well, it's not really. It's mostly, because we have different base systems also. If you work in construction, you deal with a base 12 system, right? One equals 12. Wait a minute, I thought you said, what is that? No, one is 12 inches. So now, oh. Now you're getting, yeah, because those are facts. Those happen to be the facts of that realm. Facts of this realm. Facts. So we get to a point about, okay, are we going to agree about this? And if the answer continues to be no, then like, oh my God, just go away. Or say, all right, you know that cute, pat answer that we have now, the new age, 21st century answer, well, it's a degree to disagree. And then you kind of write them down as crazy, right? One in one is two. No, it started spot. All right, yeah. Did you take your meds today? You know, like it just becomes facts. Because it talks about throughout the entire book and the entire process that feelings is why we got drunk. It talks about it in the doctor's opinion. Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. They like how it makes them feel. They don't like the facts of the alcohol. They like the feelings. Because feelings are nebulous. and what's the argument all the time? If you're in a relationship of any kind, friend or especially romantic, you can't tell me how I feel. It's how I feel. It's not wrong because it's how i feel. And it becomes like, okay, well we'll agree to disagree, huh? Okay, because the fact of the matter may be that somebody lied to me. Okay, and I said well why did you lie? Well, because I was afraid that you were going which you didn't have. So it's my fault you lied? Well, yeah. And now how are you going to argue with that? Because that's not based on fact, that's based on feeling, right? Okay, so my alarm went off, so let me finish up this thing and then we can argue about feelings. We have numerous theories, for example, about electricity. Everybody believes them without a murmur of doubt. Why this ready acceptance? Simply because it is impossible to explain what we see, feel, direct, and use without reasonable assumption as a starting point. And that's really it. Okay? It's about a starting point. Like if you have, if there's some other way you want to get sober, if There's some other way that you think you can do the job or hats are off to you, go out and do it. Start a whole nother program like moderation management and then kill two people drunk driving and We'll say, oh, that works. Okay. Like, it becomes about a reasonable starting point. Are we going to agree upon this? Because if we're not, leave me alone. I'm not going to argue with people who are going to tell me that I'm never going to be recovered. I'm just not. I'm going to go away is my answer. Would you like to know how you can become recovered? Because if that's what you want to do, I'll help you. If you just want to argue, you know, become a lawyer. That's their job, to argue. And the better you do it, the better a lawyer you are. I want the best lawyer, I want what's the best arguer I want if I have to go to court. Okay, that's really what comes to, oh, here's my brother. You know, and people said that to me. Why don't you be a lawyer? I don't like arguing. But, isn't that funny? You know, but it becomes about Like where are we going to start Right Where are we gonna start If you want what I have You need to do what I did In order to get it Simple Right there If you don't want what I have Go to somebody else That's okay I'm not offended Go right ahead Okay So You know That's the beginning So we already started You know We did step one We're in step two We're grooving We got God Boy I hope that carries us On into next week You know So We can talk a little more About it Thanks