He Tried to Be His Own Lawyer Fifty-Seven Times – Mike L.

But a lot of my good friends are here that know me better than that. I usually talk for two hours, but they treat me so nice here that tonight I have decided to cut this talk to an hour and fifty-five minutes because I am a great believer in that the mind can absorb only what the feet can endure. And so I'd like to give you a thumbnail sketch of just how far down the ladder a guy can really go. Now, some speakers, and I like to be called a speaker. Don't call me no damn AA talker. I'm a speaker, and if you have never saw an AA speaker before, take a good look because you told me that I could have anything in AA I wanted, providing I didn't take the first drink. Some speakers quote Shakespeare, others quote Hamlet. I'm a Baltimore truck driver and I have to quote J. Miller's joke book. And to let you know how far down I really went, I would like to quote J. Millet. It was the cold out in December, how well I will remember. My heart was in a flutter as I slipped into the gutter. a pig came up and lay down by my side. Two ladies passing by were softly heard to say, you can tell upon your boozers by the company that he chooses. And the pig got up and slowly walked away. Now you might look at me and say, well, just what kind of a joker was this guy? And I would answer by saying that I drank anything that was too thin to chew. And I didn't care whether it came from a tin can, or hose, or a bottle. It wasn't until I came into AA that I learned all about these dropping cherries and... Now you can imagine dropping cherries into a bottle of Rub-E-Dub because it was dissolving. Or could you imagine me spilling five minutes over a can of heat screws in the steel handkerchief and somebody say, wait, Mike dropped his carry-in. This couldn't be done. I've only been, and if there's psychiatrists in the house, I don't give a damn either. You're my friends too. But I've already worked before two psychiatrics in my life. One I lied to, and he put me in the United States Air Corps. He asked me if I had a problem with drink, and I was half-canned then, and I said no, I couldn't take it or either, and so he put me in. Twenty-two months later, when I was beat down so much that the Pentagon wouldn't listen the ideas that I had about knocking Japan off the earth. And if they had, you would have had Chinese traffic cops or Japanese traffic cops in Oklahoma City today. But they decided to send me before a psychiatrist and I thought this man could help me. And so I told him the truth and he kicked me out of the United States Air Corps with an habitual drunken discharge. So you see, I don't believe in psychiatry. I met the guy who went into the psychiatrist's office, sat across the desk from him, took a cigarette out of his pocket, took all of the tobacco out of the cigarette and pushed it up his nose. And the psychiatrist says, my good man, I can help you. And the drunk says, yeah, give me a match. And there was the other side character who was busy closing up his office one night in order to take his wife out to an early dinner, when he noticed two drunks out in the waiting room. And he thought he'd get rid of them in a hurry so he could meet his wife, and he said, Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. And the junk says, we came to you for help. And he said, all right, I'll give you a little test. Then he said to him, what does that remind you of? And the one drunk looked at it and he says, the hole in the donut. He says, go home, my friend, you don't need me. So he said the other junk, what Does That Remind You Of? And the other drunk, beady-eyed, said, Thursday. He said, Thursday? How in the world do you get Thursday out of that? And the drunk said, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. You know, I was the kind of a jerk who knew everybody's business but his own. I was charged in the criminal courts of the Baltimore City fifty-seven times. I tried all my own cases. I was my own lawyer. I lost them all, but I tried every damn one of them. All you had to do was walk into a bar where I was and I could straighten out your domestic life or anything you had. I had all of the answers. I was like the junk just up in Baltimore last week, three funny things happened to junks. A junk was coming down a one-way street and the cop said, hey, where are you going? He said, Dave, I know I must be over. Everybody's coming back. And while he was talking to her, another gentleman came down and hollered, Hey, didn't you see the arrows? And the gentleman said, I haven't even saw the Indians yet. That was me. I had all of the answers, the quick answers. The gentleman fell out the hotel window in Baltimore. right down on the main sidewalk. And a crowd gathered around him, and he started to brush himself off. The police walked his way through the crowd and said, What happened here? The drunk said, Damn fine, I just got here myself. You see, I wasn't the kind of alcoholic who drank for the effects or the smell. I smelled all right. But I didn't drink for the effect or anything. I drank until I became in what is known around Skid Row as the zombie type. The type that just walks and drinks and walks into a pole and then backs off and says, pardon me, sir, I never saw you standing there. And the whole conversation on street corners was nobody there. I don't know why they raise so much hell about this Russian going into orbit when I was there 30 years ago why there's 300 men right in this room tonight if Washington wanted to he could ask any one of them and they'll tell him everything that's on that moon and don't believe about these little people who don't think hollering take me to your leader they don't even talk they just go I was told by some of the jailhouse boys that as much as I was coming into the jail and as smart as I was I had a brilliant education I spent so much time in the 7th grade that the other kids said now the teacher and both of you get out but yet I would stay in the boy room and tell a man how dumb he was and how smart I was a man would have a nice car a nice home to go to and I would be telling him how smart I was how dumb he was with the March Wind blown in the back of my dungarees and out the front. And if they would turn away from me in disgust, I would say, if you're going to be a dummy all your life, don't listen to me. Everything was centered upon me. One day walking up Hillen Street, one of my colleagues graduated from the same college I did, the Greystone Manor, otherwise known as the Baltimore was sitting in jail. I'm sorry that my sponsor can't be here tonight. He's in jail, he's the warden. And as I was walking up and I recalled year after year the yearbook over jail used to have me in it as the most likely to come back, and I made it every year. And as i was walking up and saw one of my colleagues being arrested and a crowd of people around, I went to the officer of the law and told him that as a taxpayer of the city of Baltimore, I demand to know why you are arresting this citizen. Now, you can picture a dirty sweatshirt that hadn't been washed for about six weeks, not much beard, and the other guy smelt as bad as I did, when this cop looked me over and said, well, if you're a taxpayer, hang around and you'll find out why I'm arresting him. Now, when we came to our step where we asked God to restore us to sanity, it took me like a glove because I didn't have to stand there, but I did. and so when the wagon came he said it's both of them and the cop on a wagon says I thought you only had one he says when I called I only had two I only have one but I've got two now and this is the kind of life I lived in I lived in the world of what I'd like to say alcoholic synonymous to me is like coming out of a life of make-believe into a life of reality In my drinking days, a couple of drinks and I could put myself on even par with any man regardless of his stature in life And I lived this life of a bum and a professional panhandler and a thief and a cheat and any other thing you want to call it. I stood outside a Shriver's meat market on a Saturday and I had panhandled enough to get five fifths. But the old alcoholic instinct try one more, Mike, he might give you a buck. Now the professional panhander doesn't work like the ordinary panhandlers Give me a nickel for a cup of coffee They know you're lying anyhow Ask them for a buck I was talking to one man Trying to get a buck And another man with bats I said wait a minute I'll be with you in a minute You had to be scientific If you didn't You didn't make a living and so I'm passing out cards on a Saturday morning and doing good little white cards saying I am deep and done getting a quarter and a dime and then the man came out with a couple bundles he's going to hand the blue search suit on you ever forgive I handed him the card and he says what would you rather have a quarter or a drink and I said I'll take a drink he was a plainclothes dick when he arrested me and I was given 60 days in 59 of them 60 days I wondered what went wrong mind you not booze But on the 59th night, I found out what went wrong. I found that I was the only decent, dumb man in Baltimore who could talk. And so I lived this life of make-believe. But today, ladies and gentlemen, at your wonderful conference here in Oklahoma City, I am in my life of reality. I am with the only people on God's earth after the curial courts of the state of Maryland after the priesthood of my church my family, my doctors and everybody that condemned me as a jerking bum and that I would die a jerkin' bum people like you gave up a Sunday afternoon in November of 1947 when you could have been home listening to the television or listening to the radio. You could have been out with your family, but you gave up a Sunday afternoon to come over to the Baltimore City Jail where a guy who was condemned to death saw you and you said to me, take us by the hand, Mike, and come out of the gutter of drunkenness and walk upon this payment of happy sobriety. Ladies and gentlemen, if there was only any words in my vocabulary that I could express the gratitude that's in my heart, not only for me but for the wonderful family that you have reunited me with, no ladies and gentlemen these are not the things that are bought with money. These are the things that only come by the grace of God on a level where the jackasses and the giraffes can both get at it. No, ladies and gentlemen, no man in this audience knows any better than how I sit in the back today and listen to you absorb what another man had a feeling of this when Gil talked. And how nice it was when I heard him say some of the things that I know. He said one of them was, he don't know where they're getting the statistics. And I don't either. Because all my life there were statistics. Get this bum's record out. It unfolded. So now that I'm sober, who the hell wants to listen to statistics. All I want to do is be with you. I want to wake my hand in the hand of God and my other hand in yours. I will be an all-American, not one who goes through college, but an all American playing on the greatest football team that God has ever put on the face of the earth. I know God as my quarterback and you people as my line. And And I want to huddle with you now and then, so there is no weakness for John Barney Corn to come through to knock me for a loss. These are the things. Oh, I know why I'm in Oklahoma City tonight. Not because I've got the gift of jobs. Not because of anything, ladies and gentlemen, except one thing. There goes that bottom platygon. one thing I am here tonight ladies and gentlemen because I am married to a woman who never lost faith in God my wife Edith and I have dedicated my life that the happiness that I get through you and the AA program I shall extend on to her until the day that God takes her away Oh, I'm not too sure that this thing started over two men talking over a cup of coffee. In fact, I know that's not the way it started. I know through prayer and meditation of the wives, the sweethearts, the mothers, the husbands, the brothers, and the children of we the alcoholics have prayed somewhere, and if you don't think you're a lucky individual. Remember how many people are walking the streets of Oklahoma tonight that hasn't had the break that you and I have had. And I believe through prayer and meditation that God said the same thing to Bill Wilson as he said to his disciples. He said to His disciples, go ye and teach all nations. He didn't say the Catholics, the Jews, the Protestants. He said all nations. And so I want to believe sincerely it was God who rested his hand on Bill Wilson and said, kill ye, Bill, and help these Jews through prayer and meditation. Don't tell me it was a coincidence that Eddie stood in a doorway. don't tell me it was a coincidence that the good lady got between Bill and Bob. These are not coincidence ladies and gentlemen. God in his infinite mercy could have gave this to the men of science, he could have give it to the man of religion, he can give it for the men of education but he didn't. He gave it to a drunk laying on the town hospital, and he gave it to me the same way through you, laying in the Baltimore City Jail. I was told by the criminal courts of the state of Maryland to stay away from my family. They wanted nothing to do with me. In fact they didn't even want alimony. They couldn't got it anyhow. What the hell? I never worked. This was a smart judge. He knew that. And so they blocked off a four-block radius around my home. And they said, if you go over that four- block radius, drunk or sober, you will be locked up. And I said, they can't do that to me, but they did every time. And so I was in jail one day and the judge says, why don't you take your case uptown? Now this sounded good and big to me. A practicing lawyer before on many bars. And so I couldn't wait to do that 30 days to get out so I could get locked up to take my case uptown. And you tell me that this step we ask God to restore to sanity don't fit me, it fits me like a glove. For there I was, not too long after, standing before a man who I personally knew, who the best I could have gotten was 10 days. And I said, take my case uptown. And he said, Take this bum back. Now when you take your case up town to the criminal court, you have to go over to the city jail and wait to be And so I waited 15 days on my own time, this don't count. This is my time I'm waiting on it. And all of them 15 days I'm planning my defense to walk before these 12 men and women and tell them what a sobbing story I had. I could picture them front row in that jury box falling right out on their faces, crying and going into spasms and everything else. And they brought me in on the 15th day in the Criminal Court Part 2. Them bums never even asked me my name. They looked down at me and said, 60 days. So here was a smart chicken that could have cut 10 days and went out, but now I had to do 15 days to get 30 days on top of 30 days. Wonderful. This is the kind of life I lived and this is the kind of life that I believe. Standing in a barn, no thought of three wonderful children, a wonderful wife and a sister who I dragged through the muck and mud of the saloons and the skid rays that I was on. Never once did I ever give them a thought. When I stand in a bar and I say, I'm going home now, and if she ain't got supper ready, I am going to raise hell. And if she is, I ain't gonna eat it. Always had to have that last word, the big shot. Live in me, live in me. Do it my way. I even tell two wonderful, they tell me there were two of the greatest engineers that ever worked on a dam. They were building a big dam in the state of Maryland. I got mixed up with them two bums one night. And I was telling them how smart they were. And they walked away from me. And I said, you ain't so smart. You started the dam on the wrong side of the river. Nice of me. And so I would tell everybody that looked at me, and then they would say, Mike, with the family that you've got, why don't you straighten up and fly right? And mine was the standard alcoholic answer. Why don't your minds your own business? I'm not hurting anyone but myself, but deep down sincerely, I knew what I was doing And I didn't know no way out. And as I said in the beginning of the zombie class, I hear people coming into AA and say they're confused. I was so confused I was like the man standing on a street corner with a piece of rope over his shoulder. Didn't know whether I lost a horse or found a piece of rope. This is the zombie And so when I got the bright idea that here, the criminal courts told me to stay away, I'll leave my family and let them starve to death. While her up to that time, four years, was taken in Washington, my good sister, who had passed away a couple of years ago, worked her fingers to the bone, and you ask me about material things. My sister, ladies and gentlemen, stood in a criminal court in the city of Baltimore and shouted from the back row, them children will never be put in a foster home as long as God gives me a breath in my body. What does it mean to me that I am united? What does it mean to me to have a sister in an oxygen tent dying and asked me to lift it a little bit and get closer to her? She wanted to tell me something. And here's the woman that I dreamt through the muck and mud all my life, telling me, Mike, keep in AA. You gave me 10 of the greatest years I've ever had. These are dividends, ladies and gentlemen, that only God in a way could give to an alcoholic like me. And you ask me, what? Am I grateful? I wish that should explain how grateful I am. My wife Edith was taken suddenly on a Saturday night to a hospital with a heart attack and collapsed in the lobby of the hospital. And before they took her on a stretcher upstairs, She said to me, Mike, don't forget the Ornstead night meeting tonight. What can a guy ask? You mean to tell me that there's any old man either in Texas or Oklahoma could ever put out enough money to get something in return that I got from a dying sister and almost a dying wife? What do I want? I want nothing, ladies and gentlemen, except to be your friend. You picked me out of the muck of the gutter, and you put me on the pavement of happy sobriety. And my daughter, who stood while I laid on an old sinking studio couch and overheard her say, Mother, he'll never be around for my graduation. He was never around for my brothers. He won't even be around to give me away in marriage. He will be drunk, dead, or in jail. This is the kind of children that I drag. Three children couldn't play with no other kid. They went to school together and came home together waiting for one another because the only thing they had was criticism from the other kids. I saw your old man locked up. How much time did your old man do in this time? Who'd your old be? Who did he rob? And my children's little were down on their chest all during their school days while I was trying to tell people how smart I was, and how dumb they were. Oh, gratefulness, ladies and gentlemen. Gratefulness that only God in AA could give to an alcoholic like me. These are the things I strive for. these are the things that I want and these are the things I can get through the grace of God and you people oh as Lib said and I might finish I left off something there my daughter told this to my wife and you people came along in the meanwhile and lifted me so that I was there for her graduation and so has lived in her nice husband's town. And with all the friends that that girl had in school, she walked past everyone including her mother and walked to me at the curb and said, Dad, it's so good to have you as my graduate. What do you want? What are we looking for? Isn't that enough prize for a guy who wasn't nothing is not enough for any man in his right sense to say, Oh God, give me the grace and strength that I may go to Oklahoma City and meet more of a friend who has united me with such a wonderful family. Oh God give me this strength to associate with people. This is it ladies and gentlemen And I did give her away and marry, and I had the damnest time getting one of them Hickey suits on you ever saw in your life. They took me down to this place where you hire these white jokes and all, and I must have tried five of them more, and they all fit me, but I said they didn't because I could see that there was war before. I wanted a new one. And I got a new one. And people at that wedding said they wondered who got married, Mary Catherine or Mike. They laid a great big white carpet down in the church. In hell, I never put my foot on it. When I got out of limousine, I was in the air. All the way up, all the way back. And then a great thing opened up. In my church when anybody's married, the family sits on the right and the friends are on the left. And the ushers ask you when you come in, a friend or a family. And as I turned from the altar, my family was on my left. They were there, my whole family. The same family that dragged through the gutter with me with a broad smile, looking at a man that only got an A.A. to give the privilege of giving his daughter away. Now, you say, well, men give them away every Saturday night, but them men ain't like lawless. I'll guarantee you that. And this was a big privilege for me. I don't know whether I'm looking at this damn watch or that light. One of them's getting on my nose. And so, that's how I am all week, I've got enough of him all week. And so my daughter was married, God bless her. But what else has AA given me? Ten grandchildren, all since I've been in AA. Now there's not just Mike on Skid Row. Now there is not just Edith doing washing, which stayed with a little support. Now there are 16 of us, and one of them is in AAQ, my youngest son, who last week I went to a meeting where he spoke. And I sat in the back of the room, and I'll tell you what my son said. He said that during his drinking, he hated his father's guts because his father had something that he didn't have. and he told that same audience that tonight my father is the most beloved father in this world give it to him ladies and gentlemen that only God and AA could give to an alcoholic like me and I get him for what for trying to stay away from the first drink and for trying to live a better life than I lived before. By the inch it's a cent, and by the yard it's hard. And I take it in every day, day at a time. And all of these things come in. And now when a truck driver cusses me, I'll cuss him right back. Now they tell me about tolerance in AA. Oh, you show me the truck driver with tolerance and I'll show you the perfect man. They told me they'd take Charlie's inventory and I got to thinking, how the hell do they know I'm taking Charlie's unless they're taking mine? And so I had good coaching. There's one of my coaches, God bless her, who in time will never know what the loftiest clan, and I call them a clan now, 16 of them, boy, if them girls and boys don't stop singing, I'm going to die in a holy. They'll never know the reunited of a family that thought everything was gone, that thought the judge would say this child goes to this family And this child knows about it. No, he just came in and he said, we'll give Mike Loftus a chance. We'll give him a chance, and he did. And I'm here today. Oh, we have our spots like libs there. Just my false teeth right in his own. started two groups in the city of Baltimore. Two groups! Now, you say this is impossible? It is not! I went...I was scared to death about getting my teeth pulled and they sent me to a drunken dentist and that made me feel better. And we went to a discussion one night and the chairman was all in the dinner. He said, I haven't got a subject. And I thought, well, and then he started on the table, and nobody had a subject to talk on, to discuss. So he said to me, Mike, have you got something? Hell yeah, let's talk about my false teeth. Well, don't you know, that was a good meeting. Yes, they were showing scars on their legs, cuts off the back, up on their head, horse feet, holding them out. Look at this setting. Look at that setting. These cost me $100 and a half. These are only $75. And got a wonderful response from that audience who didn't know what to discuss. But there was two men there that night said, Hey, this wasn't an AA meeting. And I said, I told them, just as it was told to me one time, if you don't like what the hell's going on in this group, start your own. And so I said to them, start you own group, because next week we're going to talk about broken legs. And they went out and started two new groups. and who do you think was the speaker of both of the groups? Me and what do you think they told me when I came in the door Christ don't talk about your teeth here we got new people this is wonderful all of this changed I wanted to rewrite the big book and the first thing I bought with my own money when I came into AA and went to work I bought a big book and I went to my friend Mike Webby one night and I said Mike, there's a page you know I don't like boy I don' t like what that guy has to say old Mike left it me to love him he left it in me him beautiful eyes ahead and he's an old man. And he said, Mike, is that your book? I said, yes. He said, did you pay for it? Who knew I stole it? And I said yes, Mike. I paid for that book. He says, well, it's yours. Tear that damn page out of it and don't worry about and this is exactly what I needed I needed this kind I needed men to tell me them kind of things when I told them that the 12 steps was entirely too long they told me to rewrite them And up to this day, I haven't even started doing writing. I'm looking for suggestions if any of you new people would like to give me a break and start me. I love short stories. Mostly, I'll tell you what I like. When I first came into AA, I wondered whether any big men of history were alcoholics like I've never heard anybody say that Washington was, but he sure as hell was standing up in my boat in the middle of winter with his cloak open. Roll, roll, roll. But outside of George, I didn't know whether everybody else was or not. But when I first came into AA, they told me, Mike, get yourself a hobby. Well, where in the hell is a guy going to get a hobby never done nothing for 30 years but drink. And somebody said reputation, drunk sober, drunk sober. Drunk sober, that's reputation. And so I became the reader of high class literature. Sometime I'd give as high as a quarter for them kind of books. And writing them books, I found my answer. And you can find your answer to anything you want to know. Because there in a quarter-comment book, I read the story of a great man we all know. He's dead now, but he's gone many years. But he was as big an alcoholic as I ever was. His name was Christopher Columbus. He was a man who started off for somewhere he didn't where he was going. When he got there, he didn't know where he was at. When we got back, he didn't knew where he had been. A woman paid the bill and he wound up in jail. So who am I, a measly old truck driver, to rub elbows with a guy like old Chris or George? It's wonderful. And how that meeting opened last night. What a blessing you had a chairman like that. He said, live it up. That's what you want to do? Put the black coat... I'll take these damn things off or that other white light and I'll let you see you win on this. Put your black clothes back in the cupboard, ladies and gentlemen, and bring out the clown suit. We're no different from anybody else when we're sober. Read the story of Dr. Silkworth. God bless his soul tonight. Read his story where he says not only are you an alcoholic, but you are also a human being, and you will have the chance to be a human beings until the day you die. I first came into the AMA and left the meeting and said, this is a simple program, I believe you'll get it. I believe you'll get it! Simplicity, that's the word itself, only from the hand of God does simplicity come. Mark Tooney said something about he invented the radio and all that. He's a lot of stuff. When God took the rib from Adam and put it in Eve, he had the first speaker there. And that is where you're in the making, right there, right at the seat. And as I go down this path of sobriety, I love it. My cloak is in the cupboard. I live it up! Like the mayor said last night, what a chairman, what a thrill to be one of you. thrilled to sit back and hear a guy. I see a good friend of mine who you'll hear tomorrow morning standing in the doorway. I haven't seen Dr. for a while, but I'll enjoy him because I like him. He's got something that I want. And you tell him that I could have anything I wanted, providing I didn't take the first drink. All meanings of time, Edith would say, here's the last quarter in the house. I hope it killed you. And she had a right to believe that, like many of you wives do. And to prove my point, it brings to mind this story. No, it don't bring to mind any such a damn thing. I practiced this and I'm going to tell each other how I won. If we're going to have honesty in this program, it didn't just bring the mine, I had this arm of mine. Let's get straightened out there and go from there. It seemed that old Maggie had done everything for Pat she could possibly do. And so she got down on her knees and said, God, taking from the earth in his jolt and stupor, and letting me and the children live the rest of our lives in peace and contentment. And God answered Maggie's prayer. This was before I ate. And so God took Pat in one of these junk and soups, and Maggie laid him out. And all of the friends came by and said, Oh, he looked so good. And Maggie was thinking to death. She said, Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. All the comments. And then Mrs. Sullivan came in and said Oh, Maggie, the corn in his hair is just like it was yesterday. And Maggie said, mm-hmm, mm. And the dimple in his cheek will never fade, Maggie. Mm-hmm. And she placed her hand over him and patted him. She said, Maggie I believe he's still warm yet. And Maggie sat hot or cold and gets the hell out of the morning at 9 o'clock. And so these are the things that Edith said, I hope it killed you. And she had a right to think that. But Edith thinks different now. and my daughter tells me dad whenever you go anywhere stay in your own room for at least an hour and clean and shake yourself up and look your best because you are facing the best people in the world and ladies and gentlemen this comes from a girl who told her mother he'll be drunk dead or in jail before he sees me graduate that gives me a way in there. What else do I want? Why do you think I don't know? I saw a picture in the grapevine that tells the whole story. An artist drew it. I got it home on my wall because it brings something to me. It was a fellow standing in his drawers at an AA meeting with just some socks and shoes on and he titled the story and he says, I haven't got around to the material things in life yet. Live and let live. If the Joneses have got more than you, let them have it. Don't let them worry you. Don't be like Mr. Smith. When Mr. Jones bought a Cadillac, Mr. Swift bought one. Mr. Smith moved over to another neighborhood, and Mr. Jones, Mr. Smith followed him. Then Mr. Jones got a telephone in his Cadillac, and Mrs. Smith, he got one. So one morning going to work, Mr., Mr. Smith called Mr. Jones and said, hello, Mr。 Jones, remember the way to work? I thought I'd call you. And Mr. Jones said, hold on, Mr۔ Smith, my other phone's ringing. Well, you never catch up with him. You never catch up with him, you worry. There was a guy like me who used to walk around and see a man puddling in the garden with flowers and cutting the lawn, and I would stand there and sneer at him—hencut, sissy, all of this stuff. And then I come into AA, and the first year I'm in here, I'm elected president of Hillingdale Garden Club. What a change! What do you want, egg in your beer? All of this is free. No more sleeping under the bridges, no more sleeping in the trucks, no more sleepin' in a parking lot. A nice bed. Nice clothes. Nice everything. Everything. And the world, people say, ah, this damn world. Ain't nothing wrong with the world. It's the people in it. The world changes all the time. But really in the world ladies and gentlemen it only us know what it is and how lovely it is. And let me give a plug right here ladies and gentleman. We like to get up and tell our stories. But there's many and many a woman in this audience tonight that has a more tragic story than I could ever tell. The woman like my Edith who went to the door and had to lie to fail me. My husband's been sick. My children's been sick. Had to lie and cheat along with us. These are the people that we almost forget but these are the people that we should never forget Because God knows when I go to an AA meeting, I want my Edith with me, and we go. And so prayer and meditation is the reason I'm here. And ladies and gentlemen, no happier family could ever be. And I like the guy who stood in his drawers. I don't have a lot of material things, but I'll get away all right. I was flying out here to Oklahoma, and people on the plane thought I was a New York stockbroker when I didn't tell them a damn bit of difference. And so when I wanted attention on a plane, I opened up my Wall Street Journal. Now, I don't know what the Al-Awl Street Journal even is, only I like that front page. And it makes a hell of a nice impression on me because they always say to me, is this business or pleasure? And I always say business because it's mine and none of theirs. and then the next question is is this your first flight oh no I flew 150,000 miles over this country in Canada and I asked and I and then they looked at me and they don't know what the hell they're saying next I got them stymied now couldn't I upset their apple cart and tell them I'm a born machete driver it would spoil the whole damn ship. Because when you stop after the red light five more minutes because who am I to break up that pleasure? Because when I got off at the next stop or they got off they'd be wondering for six months why in the hell does a truck drive a fire all over the country? I didn't believe that thing. Only one time I was embarrassed to start this text and she said, Mr. Loftus, are you asleep? And I said, no. She said, I thought you were. Your Wall Street journal's upside down. But these are wonderful things. Have a nice trip, Mike. Happy landing. And then Thursday night, four guys got together and put a quarter of piece of it here, take out a dollar's worth of insurance for us. These are good friends. Because coming home from California, I almost had my neck broken. of a six week contraction in two of those weeks they let me walk and somebody said he'll stop talking now but I didn't my head was up I said I didn' t even want to look at you George anyhow and it's wonderful it's beautiful the whole thing is wonderful it's a new world of conception and only through the grace of God and people like you. And I'd like to read to you what is in my heart tonight to lead you with a thought. This is my thought. How can I find the shining words that learn praise that tells all that your love has meant to me, all that you have friendship spelled? there is no word no praise for you on whom I so depend all I can say to you is God bless you precious old friend I'm not going to make the mistake of trying to tell Liv and Mike how we appreciate them coming off down here and how we enjoyed having them. I believe this is the happiest group of people in southwest part of the United States tonight. Branton has an announcement, come up here.