He Named His Disease Victoria and Told Her to Shut Up — Tommy

About This Speaker Tape

Tommy shares his journey from a childhood marked by anxiety, OCD, and ADHD in Orange County to a long cycle of addiction involving marijuana, hallucinogens, and eventually heroin and hard alcohol. He describes a pattern of attempting to solve his internal unrest through various substances and temporary geographic cures, including a three-year period spent in Northern California.

After hitting a severe bottom characterized by failing health, homelessness, and a breakdown in family relationships, Tommy entered a highly structured, long-term 12-step program. He emphasizes the importance of rigorous honesty, spending over three months on a fearless moral inventory, and the transformative power of making direct amends to his parents and former employers.

Now a certified drug and alcohol counselor, Tommy discusses the shift from viewing the program as a chore to embracing it as a lifeline. He reflects on the necessity of a Higher Power and the 'magic' that occurs when one alcoholic speaks to another, offering hope to those still struggling with the disease.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Tommy introduces himself and discusses his childhood in Anaheim and his upbringing in the Catholic Church
• 6:43 Discussion of early substance use starting in 7th grade and the 'chameleon persona' used to fit in during high school
• 13:35 The transition to heroin use and the experience of living in a car
• 18:12 The 'geographic cure' attempt moving to Northern California and the cycle of relapse
• 24:50 Hitting bottom with failing health, delirium tremens, and a final breakdown at his parents' home
• 31:15 Entering a long-term structured program and the process of working the first three steps
• 34:40 Details on the rigorous fourth step process and the relief of the fifth step
• 38:30 The emotional impact of making amends to his father and mother
• 44:15 Professional growth as a drug and alcohol counselor and the value of one-on-one connection
• 52:10 Tips for newcomers on managing the 'glimpses of clarity' and the importance of gratitude