He Had to Let Go of Old Ideas Before the Results Could Come – Randy M.

About This Speaker Tape

Alcoholics Anonymous Speaker -

A warped mind and a 'merciless obsession' with self-pleasing define Randy M.'s early years of sobriety. He describes a period of four and a half years where he stayed dry but remained the 'world's biggest loser,' trapped in a cycle of finding fault with his house his car and his partners. The turning point arrives through his sponsor Ted who bluntly tells him that if he knew how sick he actually was his head would explode. Randy explores the delusion of managing one's way into happiness and the 'debating society' of the mind that ensures he loses regardless of the outcome. He moves from treating the disease as merely the act of drinking to understanding it as a mental unsoundness that requires a total surrender of the ego. He concludes that only through a state of complete defeat can he stop trying to be the power for his own life and finally listen to intuitive guidance.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Randy discusses his initial, superficial approach to working the 12 Steps.
• 3:15 The feeling of being the 'world's biggest loser' despite years of sobriety.
• 5:20 Laughter: The interaction with sponsor Ted and the 'head would explode' comment.
• 8:10 Analysis of the 'merciless obsession' to please the self.
• 11:30 The 'warper' metaphor: how thoughts spiral from college funds to suicide.
• 14:45 Discussion on Step 2 and the fear of being forced into a specific religion.
• 17:10 The metaphor of the whales and intuitive guidance.
• 21:15 The 'debating society' of the mind and the lose-lose scenario of business bids.
• 25:30 The experience of 'fantasy land' during retreats and the disconnect from reality.
• 28:45 The necessity of 'complete defeat' to crush the ego.
• 31:10 The practical application of surrender: washing the dishes to be a better husband.