He Blamed the World Until He Looked at His Own Responsibility – John W.

About This Speaker Tape

8th Gratitude Weekend - 1983

A construction job cleaning stairwells with steel wool and a putty knife serves as the low-water mark for John W. who spent a decade post-college sliding into a chaos of utter blackness. After a failed 'noble experiment' to quit on his own and a subsequent relapse that left him weeping in his bedroom with a bottle in his hand he surrendered to a rigorous program of sponsorship and study. John W. details the shift from being a 'boundary rider'—someone who abstains but avoids the steps—to a fully active member of the fellowship eventually traveling to Australia to share his experience. He emphasizes the necessity of a time-tested sponsor to push past the Third Step plateau and the danger of 'watering down' the program for future generations.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 John W. opens with a bad cold and mentions the North Florida-South Georgia Gratitude Weekend.
• 4:15 John discusses the privilege of traveling to Australia to share his recovery.
• 7:30 Description of hitting bottom: cleaning stairwells with steel wool and a putty knife.
• 11:45 John describes his early 'monkey see monkey do' approach to AA and his first relapse.
• 15:20 The blackout in January 1975 and the prayer for sobriety or death.
• 18:40 Sponsorship: John discusses the role of Wesley and the importance of the Doctor's Opinion.
• 22:10 Step 1: Admitting powerlessness and unmanageability.
• 25:30 Step 3 and the 'house cleaning' required to move into the Fourth Step.
• 28:15 Laughter: The 'agnostic vs. ignoramus' story involving two rabbis.
• 32:00 Discussion of General Service (GSR) and the 12 Traditions.
• 36:45 Closing plea to avoid being a 'boundary rider' and to protect the program for grandchildren.
• 41:10 Applause: John tells a final story about a Quaker farmer and a mule before the Lord's Prayer.