Harold S. – Traditions – AA Traditions Five and Six – 2021

Well, good evening everybody. My name is Harold and I'm an alcoholic. Can you hear me good? Good? All right, thank you. My sobriety date is April 7th, 1987. My home group is AA on the Rocks meets here in St. Louis, Missouri in the inner city on Wednesday nights at seven o'clock. Right now it's currently a hybrid meeting we do meet in person, and we are on still on a virtual platform. And we voted to do that for a while at least anyway so we're working both sides of that. I come from a great line of sponsorship, which has made a huge difference in how my life has turned out. And I'm as involved and committed to Alcoholics Anonymous today as I've been in the past 34 years. I was introduced to Alcoholic Anonymous in 1979 in the Department of Corrections. That's where I come to know AA. And on the outside, I was in my first treatment center in 1980. And that's where i was introduced AA on the Outside. I think it's on page 105 of Bill Sees It. The title of that page, if our memory serves me correctly, is titled Our Chief Responsibility. And on that page and I'm paraphrasing, but it goes on to say that our chief responsibility is to deliver an adequate demonstration of Alcoholics Anonymous to the newcomer. and uh and so that's what was given to me in 1979 and 1980 even though i didn't concede that i was powerless over alcohol and uh and and subscribe or adopt this way of living it would take me seven more years before i'd really burn my life pretty hard into the ground and want to and wantto come back and meet you people but it was because of the adequate demonstration that was given for me to be able to come back uh or attracted enough to come back so really really important if you're new to Alcoholics Anonymous. Welcome to you tonight. If you're brand new and you're jumping in on traditions conversation, it might seem a little overwhelming or over the top, but hang in there with us. I just encourage you to go along for the ride. We're going to talk about traditions tonight and we're going talk about two of them in the long form version. I'll take time to read those. And then I'm just going to really share from my own personal experience, strength and hope as it relates to this as a from a group level and just from my own personal level um that you know the good the bad the ugly that i've had experience with these traditions and hopefully by the time we're we conclude our time tonight there was something meaningful that i'm sure that uh will make a difference in how your sobriety turns out or or how you look at the traditions or how do you apply them in your own personal life because traditions are very personal as well and i'll talk about some of that not only did it apply to our group but they work really darn well in our personal lives if we apply them. So I'll get into all that as we go through it tonight. You know, the 12 traditions help each AA group maintain unity and help us to get along with each other so we can play. We can play well with each other. And that's the beautiful part about it. But that in mind, they also have been widely used in our person life, which I've already mentioned. And that helps us, I think, to enjoy some pretty healthy and vibrant relationships in our life um as we as we spiritually grow up here as we spiritually mature um and it's it's how it's worked out in my life and so hopefully it will in your life as well um tradition five the long form i'm going to read it i'm in the big book um i think i'm In the fourth edition of the big book that i'm reading from tonight so i'm on page 563 i just want to read It so i don't uh misquote it or leave out any important words from it But it reads this way, and I quote, each Alcoholics Anonymous group ought to be a spiritual entity and an italicist having but one primary purpose, that of carrying its message to the alcoholic who still suffers, end quote. and so the theme if I had to come up with a theme for this tradition it would simply be that we have one purpose that there's one thing that we're about and that's it and we just need to focus on that and we need to do it well um Bill had a lot to say on the traditions and a lot of different writings you heard some of that ahead of time about AA comes of age and some of the different meetings that they have here and some that literature really does a great job of lifting up, you know, what, you know, a lot of the other writings and influence that influenced the traditions, the steps, our concepts, everything that we do here. You know, and I remember reading in one of the pieces of work where Sam Shoemaker used to prod Bill with this old proverb, stick to thy last was the quote. And really in talking about this tradition, just stick with what we're good at. Let's don't get caught up in what the Washingtonians did and others that went before us and tried to be all things to all people or have more irons in the fire than they needed, just let's just stick to this. Let's just stay to trying to serve the alcoholic who still suffers, and what a great revelation that was for the early members of AA to learn that and stick to it, and we have plenty of stories throughout our literature that reference why that is and we have lots of history with other groups that went before us and a lot of those groups had a much bigger success in a shorter period of time than we did but they all seemed to blow up when they diverted from their primary purpose when they got away from their singleness of purpose um it caused lots of problems and uh i think we can personalize that too as well because this this tradition really fits well with, with, uh, with our, with the steps. And I'll try to correlate some of that as well with step five was step tradition five and step six with tradition six, and kind of bring those two together. Cause I think they fit really well together, but you know, that there, but there's lots of temptation and there's Lots of delusion. This, this whole illness of alcoholism is based in delusion Uh, you know we toss the word denial around a lot in AA, but it's a word we only find twice in our big book, once on page 10 in Bill's story and once in the spiritual appendix. And both times it's talking about denying a power greater than yourself. When it talks about our illness, this malady that we suffer from, it talks about it on the basis of delusion and illusion, meaning we can't see ourselves for what we really are and we can differentiate the true from the false. And this delusion manifests itself throughout our personalities throughout our mind, our life. And it's such, it's very, very embedded in us and it's, and it'S very subconscious and it plays out in our reaction to trying to carry this message even. And so temptation will rear its ugly head. We see that in traditions to temptation to, that we can do more here. We can be more things to all people that AA don't have to be alcoholics anonymous. It can be anything's anonymous. That's a real temptation. and that's delusion but it seems really concrete when you sit and fantasize about it when you romance those ideas and and definitely when I was young in AA um you know I definitely had some of those those grandiose thoughts of you know what what could what could be and uh and Bill would say you know sometimes that that delusion of grandeur would it would taste or smell as sweet as wine and but it'll bite us just as hard you know that the big word there is that their success that we can be bigger, we can do this stronger, we can reach more people. Those are the temptations and I think those things are born out of pure love. I think we really do and especially when we're new here and we have this revelation we have the spiritual experience and it's so intoxicating it's spiritual intoxicating that we just want everybody to have it and we've been around long enough to see the tragedy and the casualties of alcoholism and just in our own circles much less the world and so it's a real temptation to uh to think that we can uh make it better than it already is and um and that's a Real Temptation and but it's delusional in so many ways and but but and and it's but it'S like an oasis we see it we salivate for it and and we read these early stories of where they struggle with some of this stuff and Bill himself and that'S what I always love about a lot of Bill's writings is his transparency of his own shortcomings as it relates to this stuff um i think it's on page 83 of the language of the heart bill talks about this a little bit and this is what he says um you know and i'm paraphrasing but he says something to the effect that may we never never forget that we're here by the grace of god we're on borrowed time we're only here for a littlebit you know we don't know how long it's going to last anonymity is our best resource and poverty is our most important thing and we need to position that we need to remain poor that we need to remain anonymous and that we just need to focus on one thing and that's it that's what we need a focus on and uh and you know in that deep conviction that we get from that um that we never divert from that that that we stay the course that we never get it from away from our primary spiritual aim and it's very spiritual in nature and we read that in the long form tonight that that We ought to be a spiritual entity and what does that mean well for me that means that we are to create a spiritual environment wherever we're at So our home group should be a spiritual environment. When people come there, there should be an experience on a spiritual level that brings them closer to God, not further away. And we know there's lots of things that can go on in AA meeting that can be very intoxicating. It could be very sick because while people don't come to AA, it can be so repulsive that I'm never going back again. And Lord knows if you stick around a lot, if you're gonna meet those people in different places would say, hey, I've been to AA and uh it was terrible you know and so some people might say well i've never been to a bad a meeting well friends i have i've been in some really bad meetings in my lifetime and um and both inside the institution outside the institution rural america etc and i think the further you get away from urbanization when you getaway from the city where there's a lot more meetings a lot more solid what i would call free legacy groups um you see the temptation of wanting to get away from the singleness of purposes because of lack of numbers uh because there's just not as many people there's not as Many places there's one treatment center I I live outside of St. Louis about 40 minutes I live in a town called Hillsboro and I'm very much involved with a treatment center right down the road called Sauna Lake um Sauna Lakes out in the rural area um and you know you know the the treatment center doesn't have a singleness purpose it's there to help people that have addiction problems alcoholism problems whatever your hurts habits or hangups there they're there to try to be a source of help for a lot of different variations so when we have the big meetings on sunday night or when i do a group on wednesday afternoon you have all people of all kinds walking into that room um and that's just the way it's going to be and that'S not a bad thing because we're open everything we do is an open meeting but it's really really imperative that we deliver one an adequate demonstration about college synonymous and what does that look like, and number two, that we maintain a singleness of purpose in a very loving way. I've been in meetings where it was done in a very unloving way, almost to a point of punitive, you know, if you came there and didn't have the right language that you were penalized or punished, and definitely you weren't coming back, I can promise you. I seen a lot of people walk away from that and never want to come back to AA, and we don't want to know the numbers of how many of those people that we've turned away because we didn't do it with a with a attitude of love and service as the core of who we are we just did it because you know we're just arrogant sometimes and we're selfish and we've driven a lot of people away i can promise you over the years but but that spiritual piece of that no matter where we're at whether it's a fellowship after the meeting before the meeting the meeting itself whether or at our house, wherever we're at. I mean, and this is how you personalize this, I think. But my purpose is to create a spiritual environment always for my kids, for my wife, for whoever, for my employees, whatever's going on. That's a real calling on our life. But to take that seriously and to wherever I'm going, where I'm gonna ask to go speak at a conference, if I'm asked to lead a workshop, if I'M here tonight, that my job is to help create that environment along with you. It's not just me doing it, but it's we together trying to create this space that something awesome can happen here. And and so we don't ever want to divert from that. And it takes all of us to do that. And so we have to hold each other accountable. That's why my sponsor, Tom, some of you might know Tom. I, Tom. My sponsor, most of my sobriety, Tom has diminished today. Unfortunately, he's been pretty ill for about seven years. And so he hasn't been available to sponsor. I have a different sponsor now. But but for most of myself, very time was my sponsor. But Tom, well-known AA member, very strong, trusted servants in AA circles and AA history. And Tom would say this, and this was his big mission really the last several good years or healthy years of his life. And this is what he would say, that the biggest threat to Alcoholics Anonymous is the lack of three legacy groups. And I couldn't agree more with that statement as I've been around the country. And then here's a delusion. So many people think they are a three legacy group when they're really not. And so having platforms like this where you're talking about these things and allowing people to come in and share so we can all absorb and learn, as Al was lifting up in the beginning here, I think is imperative. And to spice it up and make it attractive and have some real conversation around these things and not be afraid to tell some of the horror stories that have taken in place in your own sobriety and your own home group. But also, you know, cause I think that's, that's relative and people can lean into that. You know, my first three years in Alcoholics Anonymous, I came to AA, I got, I, my, I crashed and burned in 1987 back in the department of corrections. I was in a lot of trouble. I don't want to go into all that tonight cause that's not what you asked me to come here to talk about. But, but that's where I have my surrender in a jail cell floor and um and and I asked God into my life and from that day to now 34 years plus later I've never picked up a drink again but but when I bailed out I went back to that same treatment center I was in in 1980 which is a long way from St. Louis but it's where the seed was planted it's were I experienced unconditional love for the first time and it's we're an adequate demonstration a was given to me but I didn't go there to go hey that was the furthest thing from my mind I just went there because of the safe place, and I needed something for the Department of Corrections for my attorney for the court trial I was going to. But I had a persistent AA friend who 12-stepped me, and he only had two and a half months of sobriety, friends. That's all he had. He was my age now. And he was coming back to that treatment center and taking people to outside meetings. And I was fortunate enough that he got me, he taught me into going with him to an outside meeting. And And I'll never forget going to the very first meeting. And this is a guy with only two and a half months of sobriety. And we're out in rural America now. We're right on the Illinois, Iowa, Missouri border. So, I mean, we're pretty country at this point. And this ist what he says to me. I'll Never Forget the Conversation. He said, Harold, we' re going to go into this Alcoholics Anonymous meeting tonight. And let's hope they don't call on you. But if they would call on You, all I want you to say is your name is Harold and you're an alcoholic. Don't add anything to it. you know the buzzword back in those days was chemical dependent or things like that you don't have to say all that you're not saying my name's harold i'm this i'm that and then because you'd be here all day if you really had to put labels behind everything that you identify with um and you're a country boy and so when you say alcoholism we know what that means it means that you're pretty hurt you're pre-broken and you've done some pretty dark things in your life um you probably snorted this smoked that huffed that and you're country boy you probably even slept with a few barman he had to throw a little humor in there on me but but he's making his point that we get it when you say you're alcoholic it it embraces and encompasses a broad definition so just be heralded alcoholic well because of that direction friends i've been herald the alcoholic uh ever since i could identify definitely another 12-step program it's no question but but i've done you know planted here but when i came back to st louis i didn't go to aa I was, I had one foot in the dark, one foot in the light. In my life I was really struggling. I was that guy in the big book that I couldn't picture my life without alcohol, couldn't imagine my life if I continued with it and had this court trial and parole violation and a fourth of 50 WI conviction together and on my way back to the penitentiary and that's what consumed my every waking moment. Going to A was just nowhere on the radar but this persistent friend kept calling me and finally he encouraged me to go and And he would say things like, Harold, your life depends on it. And I knew that was a true statement. I knew That was very true. My life depended on this and eventually I went. But unfortunately, I came to AA the same way I did everything else in my life, long before I ever picked up a drink. You know, I planted that flag that I'm going to do what I want, how I want the way I want. And if you don't like it too bad for you, because that's how I'm doing it. And so I came down call us anonymous that same way. i fell in love with you people i just did i love the personalities and uh and i loved it the laughter and the stories um i didn't believe that 12 steps would change my life and uh i definitely didn't want to sponsor it had a probation and pro officer my entire life so i just wasn't interested in anything like that and the traditions and concepts well that was far from my radar and the steps were too because i was on step none for the first three years I was here you could argue I was on point five that I conceded I was powerless but I but I wasn't living in today and the traditions were making a difference in my life before I ever knew it and that's really the case with all of us the traditions I can promise you had more of an impact on your sobriety than you'll ever know but even where you could even say the word tradition they're making a different and how your life turned out and that still that's the case here because like i said i could identify with a lot of things but i was a guzzler i was powerless over alcohol and um and so i could relate to that language i could identity with that those that romance and that lifestyle and those stories and so it's what attracted me it's kept me coming back yes can i identify if you're if you say i'm a get high freak and you probably took birth control more than once yeah i get all that but but but there's a reason why we're here and why we stick to this. And my job, especially as I mature and grow up here is to honor that it's the respect that, um, and, and along with anything as a whole, as a group conscience, as a world conscience that we come together on and say, this is what our group conscience. And we believe God spoke to that. This is where we're at with that. Whether I agree with it or not, if it's went through that process, I trust that process. And then I just get in i just get on board uh the best i can and sometimes i mean just refraining from tongue and but whatever it means i'm not going to be a virus to it i'm Not going to Be tearing down things because we're all links in the chain here we're either a strong link or a weak link we're Either building things up or we're tearing things down i mean we're always into action the question is which which what side of that am i on and i always want to be on the side that i'm you know that i'M a good steward here because the torch has been handed to you it's been handed to me to keep this thing intact for the people coming behind us and so i want to be able to do that to the best of my ability so honoring this tradition is important you know there's you know it's a paradox um you know that this gift of sobriety uh that you can't keep it unless you give it away and so we're we're taught that in our own personal recovery that if you want to stay here i mean page 14 15 tells us we're going to enlarge our spiritual life it's going to come through self-sacrifice, that we have to shift. We have to come to the end of ourself. We have to start living an other-centered life to fulfill our purpose. And that was one of the big delusions that I had when I got here. There's no real purpose for my life. I'm going to do all this stuff for what? I mean, come on. I don't have any education. I don't even have a GED. I've got a criminal record. I Don't have a legal driver's license. I got a piece of crap car held together by bumper stickers. I mean what purpose is there for my life. And so people would say things, old timers would say things to you, believe it or not, that this whole horrific experience you're going through, when you heal from it one day, it's going to become the greatest asset you desire. It's going be the greatest gift that you'll ever have in your life, even though you don't think so right now. It smells, it stinks, it rotten, it doesn't feel good. But when you heal from them, my friend, it is going to be amazing. Well, there could have been a truer statement. But that gift is if I want to keep this life that I have, I want to keep this joy in my life. I want to remain happy, joyous and free. Then I have to give it away. That's our primary purpose. And it's the primary purpose of our group. And this is where we can be really, we can have a lot of one legacy groups, groups that are just focused on recovery, but they don't really participate in the unity or the service structure of AA. They're just one dimensional. We're all about the steps and they do a fairly good job at that. You got two legacy groups. But we're really called to be three legacy groups and what I've learned in my journey here. There's three types of people that come to AA. There are those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what's happening at all. And I've been all three of those cats. I had no idea what was going on when I got here. And i sure watched AA happen for the first three years i was here. But when i got into the make it happened group, when i got into coming all the way in sitting all the down and staying here, it transformed my life. It was apocalyptic. It was a revelation meaning that something's been revealed that you never experienced before in your life and that's what this thing's all about and so i was able to experience that and it was powerful and it Was beautiful and it changed my life and and and so i have a you know so it's imperative for me that i'm part of a three legacy group that honors this tradition and does so in a spirit of love and grace and a lot of mercy um as people are coming here just like i was brand new and trying to figure all this out and you know good sponsorship goes a long way but so does just a lot of love from the people and support in the group but but we have to be focused on you know trying to hear to this and and so i challenge groups a lot of times in my group no different you know and because i'll you know do workshops or do whatever and somebody's like well what do you do i mean what how do we get our group more involved and i tell them right away just roll out a map just go get an old you know a map and just your city and put it on a table and put a compass in it and draw a three or four mile radius around it an inventory all the opportunities for the people that are on the front line of the alcoholic the social workers and the shelters and the doctors and the clergy and the lawyers and you're just going down the line the hospitals and the er managers and the urgent care managers all these people who meet the alcoholic in the depths of their illness they're all over the place and when you can you know when you live into this singleness of purpose and this primary purpose of going out and trying to be a part of their life and introduce them to Alcoholics Anonymous and put AA with skin on it makes a huge difference in the amount of traffic you get in your rooms as far as newcomers. And it's powerful when you just take a little action and be intentional about what you're doing. And so there's all kinds of purpose. And we talk about it tonight. We talked about our single list purpose and our primary purpose and our real purpose, you know, on page 77. And we talked about her group purpose when it comes to our traditions. But there's all kinds of purpose for us to get involved in. But this tradition clearly communicates, I believe, our individual purpose as well as our groups. Each of us in a small part whole, you know, we're becoming part of this primary purpose as individuals, but as a group. And we become something more significant than ourselves. That's the beautiful part about it. We transition to something that's pretty awesome. And we're just one among many. We're like a log on the fire. As long as we're in the middle of the fire, the fire burns bright. but you take any of those logs and toss us to the side it's not going to be long before we smolder and go out and we're not relative anymore so we need each other but then I need but I have purpose today I had there's meaning to my life my life has value today and that's amazing and that's a big deal you know to work on this tradition means to say I'm willing to say yes to the question sometimes to rearrange my schedule to be inconvenienced because sometimes life is going to be inconvenient when it comes to this work, and devoting yourself to this primary purpose requires letting go of a lot of old ideas. It's a divorce from self because, man, the world's out there calling. The world has a lot for us to do, and we can easily get caught up in but keeping a priority is really, really imperative. Many of my thinking patterns are automatic. When I get up in the morning, most mornings, the radio station in my mind is defaulted to WIIFM. What's in it for me? You know, and I have a choice. I can really crank that station up and get into what's in there for me, or I can surrender it. I can say something to the effect of, you know, our third step prayer or seven step prayer, some form of that just to God here, take this stuff and let me more of you less than me. You know basically is that is that's the prayer use me great two word prayer powerful prayer be careful if you pray it but just be but pray you know use me and be amazed what happens but my life has exploded into change because of this singleness of purpose and this is what we're about uh it's what our group's about it's made a huge difference in my life and you know and so it's and so there's parallels i think between step five step four and uh in the in the and i guess the main theme of that is is that i'm not in charge uh my buddy henry says it great my life's great when i'm not involved in you know couldn't be a truer statement you know and uh and that's just really the case in my life when i'm not involved in my wife it's pretty good but but my gift to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers is my primary purpose there's a lot more purpose to my life today than there was when i got here and that was part of the delusions that i had to overcome the delusion of impossibility that it's impossible for my life to ever really mean anything of any value because look at all the hearts i broke all the bridges i burnt all those things that are part of that delusion the victimization, all those things. But and I had to overcome all that stuff no different than everybody else does. And that's a process and that's not going to happen overnight. But you know as we share our fifth step as we study step five, we learn what's wrong with us. We get to see the gross nature of our wrongs and how they've you know and most of that embedded in delusion. So we start to see ourselves for what we really are. We get to clear the channel for the first time and remove the resentments and the secrets and all the nasty dark stuff out of our lives so this connection with this power that we talk about can find its way into our soul um so you know we discover through step five what's wrong with us but in tradition five we discover what's right about us you know мы discover this purpose for our life and that's really what we're about that there is true purpose there's something meaningful for our life. We know if we go back to page 124, it says cling to the idea that your dark past, and I'm paraphrasing, is the greatest asset you possess. And with it, you can avert misery and death for a lot of people. You hold the keys to the kingdom for a Lotta people. That's a huge responsibility. And not to do that, in my estimation, is gross negligence. It would be no difference if I had a sure cure for COVID-19, but I didn't bother to share it with anybody. You know, I'm going to take care of a few people, my people. Other than that, I don't have to worry about anybody else. That would be – I'd probably be punished in the court of law for that punitive wise. And so for me not to do that with alcoholism when I've been given the gift of sobriety and to become too important or too busy is important. I mean, I have – you know, so this gift of carrying the message is the greatest gift i possess and it far outshines the gift of being a husband which i am today uh to be a father of five kids which i end today to have you know to to have been able to reconcile with my family and be a decent brother and a son to my mother while she was still alive and again i know and then to be you know responsible and respectable to work hard work smart work honest in my career over the years all those things have been done and just to fulfill that primary purpose of just being reborn, that we get, you know, into that third step promise on page 63, that they get a new, we get a second chance at life and not just any life, but the best life ever. And that's just an amazing gift. And, uh, but it can all go away if I fail to live into this, if I get complacent and I allow sloth or spiritual laziness to come in and get really, really complacent about this, but It's not my only purpose by no means. I don't believe it's your only purpose either, but it's definitely up there in our primary purpose. I need to be busy working with others, and I believe it synonymous with the love commandment that we get out of scripture where it says to love God and love ourselves, you know, love our neighbors as ourselves so we can help change the world, and we see even reference to that on page 152 and 153 because it tells us that if we really subscribe to this way of life of walking shoulder to shoulder with our siblings in recovery and helping them rediscover life that our imagination is going to be fired at the most you know the you know, the most successful years of our existence lie ahead we're going to make lifelong friends. And it goes on to say that you're going to finally know what it means to love your neighbor as yourself. And that's a powerful powerful promise and that comes by living out this purpose in our life. And even though we have a lot of different hurts habits and hangups, you know we're bound together by the shared responsibility, each and every one of us to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers. In the tradition checklist, and I got a list here in front of me, you know, they got a great little pamphlet, and they give us some inventory questions to look at, things to think about, to take ownership for, you Know, really our selfishness, you Now, challenging us, do we cop out when it comes to the group that like this tradition doesn't apply to me? You know, and you can, you can even do that with our business meetings. It's kind of a hard thing to watch, but you have a group of 50 people that call whatever their home group, but when they have a group conscience or business meeting, there might be 20 people there. And where are those other 30 people? You know, am I, am my, you know, willing to go any lengths to help a newcomer with the limitation? And all I'm trying to do here is help this person get sober. I'm not bringing them home to help me paint my house or mow my grass or do any of those things. My primary purpose is to help them get sober and that's it. It's not to exploit them for whatever else I can get out of them, but that happens and we see it or, you know, we ask favors or we try to, we take the relationship out of bounds, what it was meant to be. And so those are all things that we have to be. As part of a group member, am I committed to the primary purpose of my group? Is my group committed to that? And remembering the old timers, it even throws in a questionnaire about to old timers and and remembering them as they as they deal with the pillars of life the pillars of getting an illness the pillarsof aging and ultimately death um do we forget about those people when they can no longer come to the meeting or get transportation whatever i mean so we have a huge responsibility to our old timERS as they again go through the circle of life and hit the pillars of where it becomes hard but this is our primary purpose you know ultimately and so going into segwaying into tradition six long form and i got it here in my book and i'll read it and i quote i'm getting on the bottom of page 6563 it said problems of money property and authority may easily divert us from our primary spiritual aim we think therefore that any considerable property of genuine use today should be separately incorporated and managed thus dividing the material from the spiritual really really important statement there an a group as such should never go into business. Secondary A's to A's such as clubs or hospitals, which require much property and administration ought to be incorporated and so set apart that if necessary they can freely discard it by other groups. Hence such facilities ought to not use the AA name. Their management should be the sole responsibility of those who financially support them. For clubs, AA managers are usually preferred. But hospitals as well as other places of occupation ought to be well outside of AA and medically supervised. While an AA group may cooperate with anyone in such cooperation, I'd never go far as affiliation or endorsement, actual or implied, that AA group can bind itself to no one, end quote. And so, you know, that's the statement there, and thanks for throwing it up there, Al. So there's, again, what does that mean? It means that we keep everything under our roof. you know it we we keep our business right here this is where our business is right here in the ruins of Alcoholics Anonymous and you know and we and and and we have to divide the spiritual from the material if this it's our sole aim and and no matter how successful we are and believe me there's a lot of successful people in AA Bill will remind us time and time again we have to stay impoverished we haveと stay in a state of poverty here or we'll blow ourselves up I love what bill writes in the traditions in the early parts of their traditions when he says that in the earlier days of a they thought king alcohol would be the doom day that it would wipe out because so they had mainly low bottom cases and so many were dying from alcoholism but they never knew if they were ever really going to ever get off the ground they ever get any momentum or rhythm going but finally they were able to do that and they overcame that that fear but then came the out-of-bound romance and the out of bound romance with the uh you know just the appeal of lust and attraction inside the rooms, and people getting clean and sober and cleaning up and not looking too bad anymore, you know, smelling better. That attraction was a worrisome for our fellowship, but then they realized that they were no different than anybody else, but ultimately what they came out and Bill would call these things the big three, and they tie right into our tradition tonight, that the big free things that we have to watch out for in Alcoholics Anonymous, and as well our personal lives, our power, glory, and prestige. We have to watch out. He calls them the big three, and so here we can see that when it comes to money, when it come to power, when it comes the glory, when comes to stuff, we've got to stay away from it, and this is where that delusion comes in, you know, that delusional that we can do better today. You know, we're re-evolved, this evolution of A, now we've got more stuff more technology more insight more wisdom into psychotherapy and psychoanalysis and mental illness we got all these this new stuff that we can make a better and it's like no no we're not going to get involved in any of that stuff and it'S really really important to pull the reins in on that um you know bill would talk about how excited he was that a had never been caught up in you know religious or political debates or disputes in the day and he would compare the world and the culture that he was living in especially this post-modern world this world of relativism that really was starting to take roots big time in our culture that that he you know he was just glad that we had been and so we look at today's political divide in our spectrum where we're at today and and has it changed and and thank god for this tradition thank god that we can do this but you still see this tradition compromise um you still see through social media feeds with a members being very boisterous about you know where they are in life whether it's religious political whatever um with a lot of other people and and even though they're trying to maintain anonymity and they're not affiliating themselves just by you know implied you know implication here not you know right into this tradition you can definitely influence or cause repulse people it's like you know well that must be what a is about that i'm out even though you're not saying this in the name of a and you're just being yourself but and uh and this is a this is one of the threats that you know public you know transmission um we'll have on our culture and we'll see as time goes on how it really impacts a but it's a there's been people challenged by it i've had many people's names on him you know people calling that are struggling with people that they love dearly because of some of the stuff they're doing on social media and they're really struggling with that so it's real it's and it ties into what we're talking about tonight and the other part of that is is you know in a political spectrum is how we show up at AA meetings with bumper stickers and t-shirts on and hats on for our our selected politician or whoever we want to vote for and walking into the AA meeting that night and sitting down with my you know election shirt on whatever that might look like you know is that is that a compromise to this tradition and so i i would argue that it is personal and uh and these are things that i think that you know if we're not in tune to what traditions are about and really talking about them as a group we can uh we can lose sight on some of this stuff and so all this plays into to the uh threat of our culture so again we're stewards the torch is in our hands so it's up to us to to uh keep a rain on this the best we can so this idea is always under tremendous pressure i think on many many levels and um and thank god we had the traditions because we would have imploded a long time ago i can promise you we would Have blown this thing up and it would have happened probably in bills day um and so here we are all these years later and and so you know my inventory is how am i doing with all this stuff and this is what we have to get think of um we got to keep it you know under our roof big time um you know when we talk about power glory money property prestige all those big things that bill would call the big three and add in a few more finances in our sex conduct i mean ultimately what are what we find out and what i found on my own personal level is if we're not right with these things we're not right without higher power we're night right spiritually if we're compromised in these areas of our life and i discovered through the traditions and really in this tradition big time um of working it really helped me get this under control with my finances my sex conduct companionship if you like power trips glory all this stuff really i can bring back to this tradition where it really held me a lot because i paid a hefty price in my life because those are things that i pursued big time in my drinking years was acquiring companionship money at any cost legal or illegal property prestige what little glory there might have been in all that but those were the things that that was what the world called out and i gave myself to that but i brought that same mentality into alcoholics anonymous and those were the same things and that was my dilemma that's why i didn't believe that 12 steps would change my life because i had such a worldly idea about the world i had a worldly worldview what was going to make me happy joyous and free call me crazy but i think i could be a little bit more happy, joyous and free. If I had a few hundred dollars in my pocket, call me crazy. Or if I had an illegal car to drive with, it wasn't held together by bumper stickers. Or ifIi had a legal driver's license or didn't live in the basement of house or I had a decent job, all those things made sense to me. And the world barks those things that says that this is what you know, this iswhat values you as a human being. These accolades and your net worth is what determines if you're successful or you're worth your weight. And so you know, that was very much embedded in my culture. So I brought that mentality right into AA. And so traditions weren't a part of my life. Concepts weren't a part OF my life steps weren't even a part Of my life at any real level. And so the world I still have a whole lot of world in me what I'm telling you when I got here and it cost me I paid a hefty price in my behavior before I got Here and I paid A hefty price in AA actually the worst sentence I ever received was an Alcoholics Anonymous. And that was simply I was almost two years sober at the time on step none no sponsor just around a um not you know in this thing not adopting this way of life but i was busy i was around i was on the edges you saw me a lot of places i had a sober band i played on sober softball teams um you know i was doing all the sober stuff all the fellowship activities i was young and i was vibrant and doing all those things but but but i wasn't living into this this uh design for living uh at any real level and so I was chasing a girl's a boy meets a girl on campus this girl you know just had a little under a year came in from Al-Anon we got together she ends up pregnant and then she decides that she after about six months doesn't want anything to do with recovery or me or anything she's just leaving and she left well you know I had nothing at this stage of my life I mean even two years into the sobriety I had literally nothing I had no education no GED criminal record no driver's license, piece of junk car that was illegal, but I drove it anyway. This is where I was at at that stage of my life. And ultimately I filed a paternity suit and ultimately this ended up in court. And to make a long story short, she had married the guy I think she was really with the whole time. And they got married and they filed a countersuit against me to adopt this child. And, uh, and so I just dropped my paternity suit and went and took on this, uh. This adoption. And, um, so I went to court by the time I went to court for this, you know, I was in, I had a sponsor by this time. I was working steps. My life was changing. My new wife was there. You know, our child was there about 30 people from May there. I never walked into a courtroom more confident in my life. Um, my life was on top of, I was on the top of the world except for this particular part of my life and, And when it came time for me and they called, the defense called me to get on the stand, you know, and the prosecutor came up and cross-examined me. He butchered me, friends. Absolutely filleted me like a fish. And I had no defense. I mean, there was absolutely no defense, and I'll never forget it for the rest of my life when that judge pounded that mallet down and said, you Know, based on all the testimony and everything we've heard here, we think it's in the best interest of this trial that we relinquish Mr. Long's rights to grant the adoption case to Smith. and it literally just crushed my heart crushed my life and i went home and crawled up like a little fetus on the couch and i cried as ever as hard as i've ever cried in my life um and when we look at our inventory we go back to page 62 we look where we made decisions based on self which later put us in a position to be hurt well that was one of them i had nobody to blame that was me but that was what i was chasing that companionship that power all that stuff all that worldly stuff that i chased my whole life everything the world barks out there i was after it the individualism the consumerism the materialism the secular humanism all that stuff had his teeth in me and um and that's what this tradition is trying to warn us we can't be a part of that stuff the power the money the glory we can'T BE A PART OF ANY OF THAT THE TEMPTATIONS THERE THE DELUSIONS THERE THAT MAN IF WE WERE JUST IN THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIPS WITH WITH THE PEOPLE on wall street and the people downtown and the city council that we can shake and bake and reach more people and do more things and good in aa than ever possible and i mean believe me those have been some very glorified grandiose romanced ideas over the years uh but these traditions reels all that in says no no no we're not we're never going to remain poor we're going to remain anonymous and we're gonna stay focused on the main thing and the main name is to make the main theme the main time and the many thing is that we're to help the alcoholic who still suffers. That's what we're about. So, you know, as our book would say, I think Bill writes it in the 12 and 12 that, you Know, we're just bankrupt idealists. That'S what we are. You know, we were just perfectionists who failed to perfect things. You Know, We just go to extremes and then we get drunk and we black out and we blow everything up. We just burn it into the ground. And that'S what we do. And so these areas affected my life. Just, you KNOW, like I laid out for them is just one example. I could give you others, but that's my own personal experience sharing with you how giving yourself to power, glory, prestige, romance, companionship, however you want to frame it can be a very costly thing and it cost me a lot. There's more to that story, but I didn't want to tell all of it. I wanted to give you enough of it, a nugget of it to show you how it relates to what we're talking about to me. It never occurred to me that God would heal my financial concerns and my companionship concerns and in this lust for power and glory prestige but he did he was able to reel that in sponsorship helped dramatically with that um but by devoting my time and and to spiritual principles as it relates to money and doing all those things you know my life changed as i my sponsor tom has a great quote he says when preparation meets opportunity and god does the introduction amazing things will happen in your life and it couldn't be a truer statement because as i came all the way into this thing said all way down and stayed the impossible became possible i applied to spiritual mathematics we find on page 62 that when we put the spiritual ahead of the material we straighten out minimum we straighten out emotionally going down the line spiritually physically we just straighten out we finally straighten out and that's what happened in my life and the walls come down the opportunities came i was finally able to get married have five kids go back to school in my 30s get a gd finally walk across the stage and get a bachelor's degree finally walk cross stage and get a master's degree in business and write a thesis on starting a business from scratch and selling. I did that once, but I've been able to do it twice. And eventually walk across the stage and get another master's Degree. And so this tradition and Tradition 5, both these traditions had a huge impact on why I was able to any of those things. It's really, really important that we stay committed to this deal here. When you look at six and seven, you know, and I bring that parallel, it's very much there. You know, the money, the property, the power, the companionship, the glory, all that can blow up our life, but it can blow up AA as well. And so we've got to stay away from all those things and stay committed as a group and as individuals to our primary purpose. What are we about here? About the language of the heart, about love and service, about carrying matches to our siblings who are broke and suffering and coming from behind us. And so as I close out and pull down here, I want to say this, that as it relates, especially to Tradition 5 and Bring It All Home, but my sponsor, you know, when I finally asked for sponsorship in 1990, I've been here almost three years, and I finally Asked This Guy To Sponsor Me. And he said, and once we got going in the steps, he told me these two things. He said, Harold, there's two things I want you to do for the rest of your life. And you stay committed to these two new things you're going to have a storybook life you're gonna have the best life you could ever imagine and those two things were simply this as it relates to tradition five you always got to have a new man you're walking shoulder to shoulder with and if you don't have a new guy you stop what you're doing you get out your rods you get out your bait go fish where there's fish but you always have a new guy. You're walking this journey with you always you can go to page 100 first full paragraph probably one of the greatest promises in a big book. It's a great place to see where that language comes from. The second thing he told me I needed to be doing is I needed to go somewhere once a week where I didn't want to end up. I could pick where it's at, but once a year, I needed it. Once a week, I needed to go where I wanted to end up. That started in St. Louis. I went every Thursday night and Saturday morning for three years. It was the Salvation Army Harbor Life. Hardest AA I've ever done in my life. It helped shaped me it helped me a lot of practice the traditions i can promise you in a challenging way because well people don't come to a and when you get into some of those darker more broken places there's just a lot or broken people and hurt people hurt people and uh and they just do a lot ignorant and and crazy things and it's challenging to your patience and your tolerance but love and tolerance is our code so we go there we can't change people but we can sure love them and we can give an adequate demonstration so that's what i was taught to do and so i started to do those things, and in 93, I got a call that says, hey, would you be willing to come out and do a talk at this prison? And I thought, man, you know, I said, man they're not going to let me come back into prison. I only know who, do you know who you're even talking to? And they started laughing. They said, yeah, we know who we're talking to, but we think you've been off paper long enough. We can pull some strings and get you in. I said well, man even if they'd let me in, I made a pack a long time ago. I'm never going back on that side of the fence again. And they start laughing. They said Well, why don't you run that by your sponsor and you call us back? Well, you know how that went. And of course I got in and I've been there ever since. And so I go behind the walls of a maximum security prison. I have since the mid-90s and here we are in 2021. So that's where I do the bulk of my A. And all of our meetings inside the treatment center at Sauna Lake, Montero Correctional Facility, all those meetings are open meetings. And so Tradition 5 and Tradition 6 play a very big role. We're not about anything other than carrying this message. We're not there to, you know, to do anything or do any favors. One of our policies Tom and I always had was don't do something for one member you're not willing to do for everybody. But one of the biggest challenges, and I'll leave you this story, was when we first started the meeting in the prison, and we were in Jefferson County, and Jefferson County Missouri is still one ofthe highest traffic areas for methamphetamines still today, but it was number one for years after years after yearso our prison was full of people that were addicted to methamphetamines, and they would just jam pack our rooms to the point that we're standing room only. And we had more meth addicts in our room than alcoholics. And I met with Tom, I said, Tom, what are we going to, what am I supposed to do? And he says, why are they so set on coming to your meeting and not go in the NA meeting? He says, this is not a shot against the NA. This is just the NA meaning that was in the facility. He says well, the NA guys that come here, it's just not like your meeting. There's so much more sobriety here. There's so much more enthusiasm and laughter and energy and power and all kinds of stuff. They don't even show up all the time. And so he goes, well, Harold, they're just, they're telling you what they're craving and they refer me to page 164 where it says that we will show you how to create the fellowship you crave. He said, all these guys are doing is asking you for, they crave what you have. So help them create it. Go out and find an NA guy that can do what you're doing. Hand them your format and tell them to recreate it. And that's what we did friends many years ago. They started that meeting on a Thursday night and that meeting today, that NA meeting in that facility is still the largest meeting in that facility to this day, all these years later. And that was just because we were trying to stick to our guns here. Stay focused on while we're here, honor our traditions, do the best thing that we can. And if we do that, we're going to be here for the long haul. We're going help a lot of people in the process and we're going to have a heck of a lot fun doing it. So friends, that's all I got. I appreciate the opportunity to come and be with you tonight. it's a blessing to be here and it's the privilege to come and talk about something other than my story. That's all I got.