Gert B. on Spiritual Malady, Wealth, and the Power of Prayer

About This Speaker Tape

Gert B. shares a candid narrative of a life defined by excessive wealth, emotional isolation, and a series of failed relationships. Born into extreme privilege in New York City, she describes how her financial status acted as a "satin upholstered wall" that shielded her from reality and consequences, contributing to a deep sense of inadequacy and a lack of spiritual grounding.

Her journey into alcoholism began during her second marriage, serving as a mode of escapism from mounting shame and a feeling of internal emptiness. After a suicide attempt and a period of severe psychosomatic illness, she experienced a spiritual awakening triggered by a chance encounter with two Christians and a magazine article. This experience led her to a total surrender to a Higher Power, which she credits for her sobriety long before she ever entered an AA meeting.

In the latter part of her talk, she describes the transformation of her life from one of ego and consumption to one of service and simplicity. Having redistributed her wealth, she focuses on supporting other broken individuals and maintaining a constant internal dialogue to ensure her actions are for a Higher Power rather than for her own ego.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Gert opens with humor regarding Episcopalians and Baptists
• 2:30 Discussion on how extreme wealth creates a wall against reality
• 6:15 Childhood feelings of inadequacy compared to her parents' brilliance and beauty
• 13:40 The onset of obsessive drinking during her second marriage
• 21:10 Account of her suicide attempt and the aftermath in the hospital
• 27:45 The realization in a sanitarium that she needs a Higher Power
• 32:20 Meeting two Christians in New Canaan who introduced her to the idea of surrender
• 38:10 The spiritual experience and decision to never drink again
• 46:30 Transitioning from wealth to a life of service and stewardship