Four Through Nine on a Constant Loop — That’s All Step 10 Really Asks of You – Pat R.

About This Speaker Tape

Pat R., a recovered alcoholic in his 35th year of sobriety, opens with raw vulnerability about a rough week — he walked out on a job of 34 years and admits the thought of a drink crossed his mind. He shares honestly that his second thought was substances and his third was a porn site, but what pulled him through was getting on his knees, calling his sponsor Sheldon, and most importantly his sponsee Sammy texting him about their scheduled step work. The experience of doing step work with Sammy that Friday night pulled him right out of the dark place, illustrating exactly why carrying the message matters.

The core teaching covers Steps 10 and 11 as a way of life rather than isolated exercises. Pat walks through how Steps 1-9 build the foundation, then 10 and 11 are about living those principles moment to moment. He makes a compelling case that Steps 6 and 7 are intentionally short in the Big Book because Step 10 is where that character-defect work actually happens in real time — constant inventory, spot-check style, throughout the day. He shares his own daily routine: morning prayer, readings from multiple sources, third step prayer on his knees, then practicing awareness throughout the workday as a service business owner.

He details his nightly written inventory — twelve questions he fills out on a Word template every night and emails to his sponsor, then discards the file so he starts fresh the next day. The questions range from resentment and dishonesty checks to who he helped that day and who needs his prayers. He emphasizes that this entire practice takes less than ten minutes.

The talk builds to a powerful theme of rejection as redirection. After his divorce at 15 years sober, he was redirected to Garrett M., a sponsor who scared him but had what he needed. Garrett told him not to date for a year and to get right with Higher Power first. A year later he met Shannon, and for the first time in his life entered a relationship that did not start in the bedroom. They took sex off the table on their first date, spent three months getting to know each other, and have been together 15 years. Pat closes by naming how rejection also brought him to his current home group, where he found the fellowship he did not know he needed.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Pat introduces himself as a recovered alcoholic, shares gratitude for the program
• 1:00 Opens up about a rough week — walked out on a 34-year job, thought about a drink in his 35th year
• 4:30 Sponsee Sammy's text about step work pulled him out of the dark place — why carrying the message matters
• 8:00 Reviews Steps 1-9 foundation: powerlessness, no human power, decision to seek Higher Power, inventory, amends
• 15:00 Enters Step 10 teaching — continue doing what we did in Steps 1-9, four times Bill uses the word continue
• 20:00 Why Steps 6 and 7 are only thirteen lines — because Step 10 is where we work on defects moment to moment
• 28:00 Morning routine: mirror gratitude, readings, third step prayer on knees, then merging onto the Sawgrass
• 35:00 Nightly inventory: twelve written questions emailed to sponsor nightly, takes less than ten minutes
• 42:00 Divine dissatisfaction — Russell's question about what to do when pages 84-88 stop working
• 48:00 Rejection as redirection: divorce led to Garrett as sponsor, one year of no dating, then meeting Shannon