The Proper Use of the Will and Bringing Higher Power’s Vision into Every Activity – Mark

A friend of mine had amends to Woolworths, and just some money he owed. And he goes to the Woolworth's and he sits out front and he prays, and the thought came, now's not the time. He wondered why, it's so simple, I just go in and pay the money I owe. Now's notthe time, he trusted it. Came to Denver, sat out in front of the headquarters, and he prayed, now'S notthetime. Went home to Wisconsin where he actually did it, sat out in front of him again. And he keeps wondering, I got the money. It's not that I don't want to spend the money I know what it is. Here I am. And the voice kept saying now's not the time. You have to trust that. Came back to Denver went to another world where he sat out front and the feeling was now's the time He went in he's walking up the stairs to the accounting office he sees a coffee shop he goes in he gets a cup of coffee he sits down for a minute there's a guy there doing the books. He talks to the guy that's the head bookkeeper. He makes the amends. The guy says, no problem. Mail the money to this address, but I need to talk to you. I have a drinking problem. Can you help me? My sponsor had a truck route when he got out of the penitentiary. He had a job delivering something, papers or something. And on that truck route was a family he owed amends to. He'd known the son. He'd made amends for the son, but he hadn't made amens to the family that was on his route. Every day for a year and a half, the feeling was now's not the time. He would pause, literally pause as he passed that house. And for ayear and ahalf, the feeling wasn't time. One day he's driving by and all of a sudden it was like a free open door. Now's the time he goes up there. He makes his men. The family says we're really glad you came today. We couldn't have heard this one day sooner. We need your help. Our son's in trouble. We're glad you came to them. You place the outcome in God's hands There is a thought that brings us to step 10 That these promises That the middle of the ninth step Will come true if you work for them They will materialize Continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as you go along. You will vigorously commence this way of living as you clean up the past. You start 10 and 11 as you're doing amends. We've entered the world of the Spirit. We could talk from now for the rest of the day about what it means to us to enter the world OF THE SPIRIT. We'll touch on that in a little bit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. That's what 10 and11 are about. this is not an overnight matter it should continue for your lifetime that means you're going to continue you're going to continue to practice 10 and 11 for the rest of your life you'll never do 1 through 9 again without using 10 and 11 you'll never stop 10 and 11 sometimes they'll get flaky sometimes they'll get weak sometimes meditation is off sometimes the prayer feels flat but you should continue this for your lifetime. This is about continuing. This is a place of spirit. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear and now it will tell you exactly what to do when those things crop up. Number one, ask God at once to remove it. Discuss it with someone immediately. Make amends quickly if you cause any harm. then resolutely turn your thoughts to someone you can help. Do you always have to do all three? No. This part of the tenth step is about moving through your day after you've set it up in the morning using the eleventh step. We're going to show you what to do in the morning, but this is about when you walk out the door and anything that takes you off the course in the world of the Spirit that you've setup in the morning, anything that takes you off that course that gets in your way, you ask for it to be removed. If you need to discuss it with someone before you can turn your thoughts back to someone you can help, you discuss it với somebody to get you back on track. Make amends if you've caused any harm. If it's been a long time and you caused any harm in there, then resolutely turn your thoughts back TO WHERE YOU WERE AND WHO YOU CAN HELP. Sometimes if you're off track and you're sitting there at your desk and you go into resentment and you have to pause for a minute and ask for it to be removed, you don't need to call somebody but you get back on track and you can turn your thoughts back to where you were, that's who you can help. You can help yourself back to where you were because you were obviously working there for somebody. I don't always have to do all three of those things but here's what I use as my barometer. When I can turn my thoughts back into someone that I can help I'm back on track. Love and tolerance of others is our code. We'll touch on that again in a minute. Now ten step promises. and we have ceased fighting anything or anyone even alcohol how long would that be that it's been since i quit fighting alcohol it's one of the great promises in the book and it's all it's overlooked these 10-step promises are unbelievable so here's my question i guess you're going to have to each ask yourself why is there so much emphasis on the nine-step promises and so little on the ten-step promises. It's my contention, there's a lot of people that get halfway through amends but very seldom do they ever finish and experience the ten-stepped promises. That's why they're not talked about a lot. They're not talked about a lot because they're non-experienced a lot The other thing is the ten step promises come about as a result of having entered the world of the Spirit and being able to operate from that place. I mean, think about the sentence we just read You could take this into meditation for a month. God, show me what it would be like to have ceased fighting anything or anyone dash even alcohol. Think about that. For by this time sanity will have returned. Tenth step. Boy, what a promise. Because I was insane in the second step. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it. liquors from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we find this happens automatically. That means with no thought. We will see our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort in our part. It, this new attitude toward liquor, just comes. That is the miracle of it, this new gratitude toward liquor. We're not fighting it, liquor, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we've been placed in a position of neutrality, safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It, the Problem, does not exist for us. I am a recovered alcoholic as I sit here this morning. God removed the problem. It does not exist. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. It's easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on your laurels, especially when you've made a lot of amends. You get this blast of power and you got some peace and you've got some freedom The nine-step promises are starting to come true. It's a great place to rest. You're headed for trouble if you do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. Once again, each step brings me back to booze, the connection between ten and one. Here's a question. I gave this prayer to a friend of mine. He was having trouble with amends for his first time. He had unfinished amends. And he called me and said, what can I do? And I said, let me give you a prayer. And anybody in the room, I would suggest this to you if you're having trouble with amends. Try this prayer and see how it moves you. Dear God, please show me if finishing amends has anything to do with whether I drink again or not. Amen. And he was moved. He was moved We're not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all our activities. How can I best serve Thee? Thy will, not mine, be done. These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our willpower along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will. We're going to come back to that in a few minutes too, but this is really the main part of Step 10. For a long, long time, I thought the meat and potatoes of 10 was continuing to take personal inventory and continuing to admit when you were wrong. Now it is, but the meat and potatoes of 10 is about proper use of the will and bringing a vision of God's will into all your activities. Bill Wilson was terribly confused between the time he wrote the big book and the time He wrote the 12 in 12. And he suggests in here is the tenth step is not something you do at night. The tenth step is not a written inventory at night. The tenth step is about moving through your day. It's about moving out in the world. It's abut deciding about your life and it's about proper use of the will. We'll see where you take inventory of your day in the eleventh step. And we'll come back to what we've covered so far also. Much has already been said about receiving strength, inspiration, and direction from Him who has all knowledge and power. If you've carefully followed directions, you've begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into you. To some extent, you have become God-conscious. We have begun to develop this vital, mark this, sixth sense. But we must go further and that means more action. We're going to come back to this too. But who would ever know and who's ever heard anybody talk about what Mark and I would like to talk about this morning before we wrap up, that the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous promises you a sixth sense beyond the five that you're already aware of. Beyond sight, smell, taste, touch, and hearing. The Big Book Of Alcoholics Andonymous promises you a whole new sense that one can begin to live from and with. there's a there's a page and a half of spiritual instructions around the tenth step as I look back over my years in Alcoholics Anonymous when I go to meetings on the tenth step it seems that the bulk of the meeting gets devoted to continue to take personal inventory and the longer I do the longer I take the action of working the steps the deeper is my experience with the tenth step. And I'm kind of like Joe from a standpoint of I think it would be wonderful to go into a meeting and the topic be please discuss your experience with having entered the world of the Spirit. Please discuss your experiences with what it's like to be able to live most of your life guided by a sixth sense. Please talk about your experience with proper use of the will from the time you get up until the time you go to the bed. But see, here's why it's not talked about much. You're living from the world of the Spirit and if you haven't done the work in the first nine steps you can't tap into that therefore you don't have any experience. So a lot of what I hear about the 10th step is either is the language of knowledge or mostly it's contained in that simple little sentence of continue to take personal inventory when we were wrong promptly admit it. I could spend the rest of my life taking sentences out of the 10th step and taking it into meditation and having God show me what it means to practice that. So, let's go back again to some things that I'll just kind of go through and share and then I'll have Joe do the same. Beginning with this thought. This book over and over and ever again is going to talk about thought. In the 11th step it uses a great word combination. It says thought-life. this thought life. I read something in a book not long ago when I thought of myself. It kind of scared me and made me laugh. It said the average human being has between 10,000 and 12,000 thoughts a day and I thought to myself, oh no, all these alcoholics running around centered on themselves all day long. No wonder we need God to change our thought life but this thought is about finishing amends and working for amends and going to the utmost of our ability. and that's what's going to bring us to step 10. It says bring us to step ten. It doesn't say we arrive somewhere. We're brought to this place. It brings us to step ten, and you're going to see the word continue many times. Continue to take personal inventory. The words personal inventory were used in the fourth step. Continue to set right mistakes as we go along. I'm not a bad person, but I make mistakes through spiritual ignorance. I make mistake through self-will. I make mistakes through selfishness. I'm given a set of tools to clean up my mistakes. They're mistakes. I'm not perfect. I mean, you're looking at two men up here who are really in touch with being flawed. We understand that. And it uses some interesting words. When I begin to make amends, I vigorously commence this way of living. Meaning, I'm taken to this or I'm brought to step 10. So I begin to commence this way of living from the time I get up until the time that I go to bed in terms of my tenth step. I've entered the world of the Spirit. Now, my function using the world of the spirit in that sixth sense is to grow an understanding and effectiveness. That's where intuitively I'll be in a situation and something will present itself and I take an action or I don't take an act and that is not of me. And that just happens time and time again. Again, it's not an overnight matter. It must continue for my lifetime. My lifetime. Again, he uses the word continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When? The word when implies these will come up. Why? Because that's part of my human condition. I can't stay connected all the time. I am connected, but I don't have an awareness. So these things will comeup for me. And then the tool is when they come up, Mark, ask God at once to remove them. Ask God at wants to remove them. Discuss them with someone immediately if there's someone around. It doesn't mean you leave your workplace, go find another alcoholic for God's sake. Okay? Make amends quickly if I've harmed someone. Then I resolutely turn my thoughts to someone I can help and like Joe said, when I can turn my thoughts to someone... And that doesn't have to be an alcoholic. I mean, you know, a lot of us in here work. And many times that's about helping someone in my workplace. When I see that I can turn, then I'm tapped back into the world of the Spirit at the sixth sense, my God consciousness. When I'm operating from the world of the spirit, love and tolerance begin something I can practice. Cease fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. Sanity's been restored to me. Seldom interested in liquor. If tempted at all, I'm going to recoil is from a hot flame. Now, I think some other things that are important. The book talks about I'm gonna react sanely and normally and it happens automatically. And here's another thing. It says this attitude... See, I didn't work the steps to get a new attitude toward liquor. This attitude's been given to me. It is a gift from God. You see? It says it, this new attitude, just comes to me and said that is a miracle. And I no longer fight it. What's it? Liquor. I no long fight it anymore. Neither do I avoid temptation. I am in a position of neutrality. I am safe and protected. I didn't swear off. Instead, God removed the problem. I didn' t remove the problem The problem was removed as a result of seeking God through the process of the steps. It, the problem, does not exist for me. I'm neither cocky nor afraid. That's my experience. Now I get a warning. That's how I will react so long as I keep in fit spiritual condition. So the next paragraph is going to speak to me about fit spiritual condition. Now, I've heard it said that 10, 11, 12 are maintenance steps. They took the use of the word maintenance one time and somebody perpetuated that idea. What 10,11,12 for me are incredible growth steps. Earlier on, I told you in the book it talked about, Mark, your hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience. We read on page 60, no one among us can maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. I bought the trap of thinking I could maintain wound up in a nut house. I'm trying to share a little experience here with you all. Wisdom is you can learn from my experience. You don't have to repeat it. One of the things that I love about being asked to do something like this is some of you are in here and you're 30 and 60 days sober. You don't have to be 13 years sober to get this thing. Get it now. You know, you can go to the ocean with a thimble. You're going to get a thimblful of God. You can have as much of this as you want. It's all based on the action that you want to take. My experience in relationship with God is not based on seniority. It is based on willingness followed by action. Okay? Hear what I'm trying to tell you. Don't wait 13 years. Don't go to a nut house. You don't have to do all those kinds of things. Make the amends. Go through the process. Have it here. Have it now. Don't go to the ocean with the thimble. You can have as much of this thing as you want. As much as you wants. How bad do you want to seek the relationship with the power? So, now it's easy to let up in the spiritual program of action and rest on my laurels. We know now in this group what the spiritual program of action is. It's from the title page through 164, isn't it? That's my spiritual program of action. It's 12 steps. It's not 9 steps. It's 3. My spiritual program of action and you know what my laurels is? My laurels is the last experience I had with the steps. I've said this before. We close every meeting. Give us this day our daily bread. It's a day It's about the experience I had last week. Give us this day our daily bread. Resting on my laurels is me sitting here trying to live off what happened to me in 94 as a result of seeking God through the spiritual program of action. You see, Joe and I talk to you a lot about currently we stress this. We tell you exactly where we're at in these steps which is our method of seeking the power. Okay? I don't want to rest on my Laurels. Laurels is what I did last week or last year. I want to stay current with this experience with the power And I get a big warning. I'm headed for trouble if I do. Alcohol is a subtle foe. I'm not cured of alcoholism. I'm given a daily refree contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual condition. We're given the tools to maintain fit spiritual condition." I want to tell you something else that has to do with the connection between 9, 10, and 11. With every single amend you make, the power to operate from the world of the Spirit will amaze you. Let me say this again. With every single amends, everything is connected. If you start out with 50 amends as you move through these amends with every single amend that drops off and you clean up the harm you won't believe what will happen to you in terms of operating and having the power to do 10 and 11 and knowing getting in touch with the sixth sense and your intuition. I was telling Joe this a man who's been struggling with this program for 14 years in and out two years sober one year sober. He just finished his last amends. He had never made amends, the reason this man couldn't stay sober in all those years in the program he'd come up to eight and he never made amends but it was all about one he just picked up a two year chip and he's done with amends and I told Joe I was at a ten step meeting at my home group Monday night the power of there were four guys in that meeting who shared in specifically and they've all just finished amends and what came out of their mouth was not of them And the power in that ten-step meeting, I don't think I've ever experienced this. The clarity this guy has is absolutely incredible. And what comes from him is not to do with the five senses. It's coming from the world of the Spirit because there isn't anything in his past blocking him anymore from experiencing the presence now. It's incredible. As I move through this, as I continue to... I can tell you this right now. There has been a shift in my consciousness with this power since I did what I did Tuesday night on that mountain with this friend of mine. There was a shift Wednesday morning when I got up that wasn't there Tuesday night when I went to bed. You see, everything is connected. You keep making those amends and watch what happens in terms of entering the world of the Spirit and using this sixth sense and being given the power to practice some of these ten-step promises that it's talking about. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision to God's will into all my activities. Think about this. From the time you get up until the time we go to bed, every time you shift from one activity to another, imagine intuitively saying, God, what's the vision of your will for me in this next activity? And take that in there and be given the power to manifest His will. Joe said proper use of the will. What's the proper use of the Will? If my will is aligned with God. Think about it. In the third step, my will is so insane I have to make a decision to turn it over to the power and I get to the tenth step and now it's telling me the proper use of the will. It's saying, Mark, look what's been given back to you. Your will is given back. Do you know why? Because it's aligned with God now and I have the power to bring the will of God into all my activities. Much has already been said about the strength, inspiration, and direction from Him who has all knowledge and power. If He has all, I have nothing more than what He gives me. if I'm blocked, steps four through nine, how much you're going to get. I hear this all the time. I think Tiffany mentioned it. I'm praying to change. I'm paying for this. I'm preying for that. I'm praying for this." Have you done four through 9? No? Well, pray all you want, but if you're blocked from that which is deep down inside you, I don't know as if much is going to happen. That's my experience. It's amazing what happens when I do four through ninth strength, inspiration, and direction from Him who has all knowledge and power. Now listen to this. This is a little warning I think too. If we have carefully followed directions, that's a little different word than suggestions. We have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us. To some extent, we become God conscious. We have began to develop this vital sixth sense. We've begun to develop this vital sixth sense. I begin to experientially understand another phrase that I've heard all my life but I could never connect with. Mark, you can be in this world but not of this world. A sense of freedom. How much freedom do you want in this thing? The steps are a method of seeking a relationship with the power with God of your understanding and along with that comes freedom. You know, I was telling Joe this yesterday. The more I do this, all this weekend here from the first time I sat down, I don't know as if one time a fear has gone through me even one time in terms of what we've been doing here this weekend. That wasn't true in the first one I did with Joe in January of 1994 in Lafayette, Louisiana. And what that shows me is I've tapped more and more and more into the power through continual work through the steps, you see? And so I can be at one, at one with God at peace. there's no stage characters to present there's nothing this power that is deep down inside me having entered the world of the spirit goes before me and I become a part of that but it takes all this stuff in 1 through 9 in order for that to manifest itself I get excited about the day when I can sit in more and more meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous and we can discuss the page and a half of the 10 step experientially where I can share some experience with some of the things that are in here and you can share experience back with me instead of knowledge. Because I always remember this, the spiritual life is not a theory, I've got to live it. I either have experience with what this thing is talking about or I do not. That itself is every other area of my life. Knowledge equals power. In the spiritual world, knowledge doesn't equal anything. There was another quote which has always spoke to me. It says, knowledge received intellectually provides no nourishment for the soul. You see? So I have to get in touch with this, what I call the sixth sense, the Spirit. And the Spirit then is with me in all that I do, in everything that I'm doing. Now I'll let Joe share some stuff with the tenth step. Let's read 11 first and then I'm going to just share on both of them. Step 11 suggests prayer and meditation. We shouldn't be shy in this matter of prayer. Better men than us are using it constantly. It works. If we have the proper attitude and work at it, it would be easy to be vague about this matter. Yet we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions. There's a line you could spend a lot of time with in meditation and bring it into. What's the proper gratitude for prayer? What's that? What's what's the right attitude for meditation? So, now they're going to take us through what to do at night and then what to doing in the morning. Let's start with the morning, down a paragraph. On awakening, think about the 24 hours ahead. Consider your plans for the day. Of course, they put the first thing third and the third thing first. Before you begin, ask God to direct your thinking. So that's the first things. Ask God to correct your thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest, self-seeking motives. Then, think of the 24 Hours Ahead. and consider your plans for the day. We're going to talk about how those are two different things. Under these conditions, you can employ your mental faculties with assurance, for after all, God gave you a brain to use. Your thought life, connected to spirit, will be placed on a much higher plane when your thinking is cleared of wrong motives. In thinking, thought, thinking, thinking. In thinking about our day, we may face indecision. You may not be able to determine which course to take. Here you ask God for inspiration, intuitive thought or a decision. You relax and take it easy. My inclination with indecisiveness or I'm not sure which course to take is ask God for an intuitive thought or a solution or a decision and then do something. I always think He needs my help. And my ego hates the idea that what I could do to get more results would be nothing rather than something. To my ego, it must always be something. There's nothing my ego hates more than me being sober is silence. And what you're going to find, the great paradox of this step is that you always thought you were probably going to found that it would be something that you're powerless over. Well, after all these somethings are taken care of and you have power over alcohol and you've got power in your life and you're got power over resentments and you got power over fear and you's got power to turn and you' got power to pause, what you're going to find out is that you now have no power to make nothing happen more than you did over something. By that I mean this. Try to sit and create nothingness. Try to stop your mind. Try to not think about elephants when somebody said try to sit and not think about elephants. You're going to find you're more powerless over nothingness, but in that nothingness is where your ego doesn't want you. Because it's in that silence. It's inthat space. It'sin that place that all things come from. Don't struggle. You often be surprised how the right answer will come after you've tried this for a while. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration will gradually become a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it's not probable that you're going to be inspired all the time. You might pay for the presumption that you are going to be inspired all the time in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, you'll find that your thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. You'll come to rely on it. You can conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that you'll be shown all through the day what your next step is to be. You'll be given whatever you need to take care of such problems. Ask especially for freedom from self-will. Be careful not to make any requests for yourselves only. You may ask for yourself, however, if others will be helped. You're careful never to pray for your own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn't work. You can easily see why. If circumstances warrant you ask your wife or friend to join you in morning meditation. If you belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, attend to that also. If not members of religious bodies, sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing. There are many helpful books also. Suggestions about these can be obtained from one's priests, ministers, and rabbi. Be quick to see where religious people are right and make use of what they offer. They've been doing it a lot longer than we have. As you go through the day, pause when agitated or doubtful and ask for the right thought or action. Constantly remind yourself you're no longer running the show. Try and do that before you finish amends. Try to constantly remind yourself you're not running the shows, humbly saying to yourself many times each day, Thy will, not mine, be done. You won't be able to do it. You will not be able to live in the present moment until you are free of the past. You'll be able to practice 10 and 11 to some degree. But let me tell you, what you're going to be able to do with 10 and11 and when you reach that magical day when there is nothing in your consciousness that hasn't been cleaned up, you're then going to be able to operate in the world in a way it's like night and day from when you're doing 10 and 11 with unfinished amends. You'll then be in much less danger of excitement. That's interesting. Excitement is dangerous. Fear, anger, worry, self-pity are foolish decisions. You'll become much more efficient. You won't tire so easily for you're not burning up energy you foolishly as you did when you were trying to arrange life to suit yourself. It works. It really does. We alcoholics are undisciplined, so we're going to let God discipline us in the simple way we've just outlined. But that's not all. There's action and more action. Faith without works is dead. The next chapter is entirely devoted to step 12. I've got to say something about this term. It's come up a couple times in the book, and we do hear it quite a bit, faith without works is dead. I had to come to terms with that about seven years ago when the way I understood it no longer fit with my conception of God. Because why would I have to do anything to please a God if the God I've chosen needs nothing for me to do or earn or deserve? Why would my faith in Him be dead without my works? And I realized this, My works for my faith are not to appease or please God. They're to appeASE and to please my own spirit. The work I need to do this way, not with God. I'm sorry. The work that I need do this plane on this plane is to appeAse my spirit. I am not doing these works to please God." it's a little hard for me to talk about 10 and 11 in the middle of inventory. But there are two things I'd like to talk about. We're not going to have time to go through the chapters for step 12, but I do believe this. You do everything up to that page working with others, and you'll definitely begin to have an experience working with others. And there's great stuff in that chapter about how to pitch a new person and make the initial contact and get them interested in the work in the book. But it doesn't say much about what to do when they're ready to do the work. When they're right to do the word, you should be there for them. And we'll each talk about that in a little bit in our experience with that after we talked about 1011. You'll also find a lot of helpful guides. There are specific directions in working with others to hook drunks and get new drunks. Not a lot about their experience later on because they wrote it pretty early on in their sobriety about taking people through the work. I have to admit to you that I think we each find our own niche with service work, with carrying the message. And I think, I mean, thank God we aren't all 12-steppers. And thank God мы aren't аll speakers or there wouldn't be anyone to listen. Thank God we are, thank Gott we aren'T all secretaries. There wouldn't bе any people, there'd just bе secretaries Thank God wе each by God's direction find our niche in service. That doesn't mean you don't try out different stuff. I've been involved in general service. I've bеen a GSR. I've беen at DCM. I've served on the area committee, H&I chairman. I've served at several levels of general service. And I found my place is with, because there's so few of us, even though we're all over the country, my place in my living room with a drunk who's ready to do the work. And that's the place that I love and that's the place AA met me when a man sat in his living room with me and took me through this work that rearranged my life. I've never been real good with wet drunks that aren't ready for AA. And there's guys that I know that are absolutely fabulous on 12-step calls with wet drunks. I seem to meet people in AA where AA met me. And AA met my friends and AA met five and a half months sober when I was dying of untreated alcoholism and I was ready to do this work. And that seems to be where I meet people, not just at five and an half months but at all different increments of time. And I've never been very good at pitching a wet drunk. I know how to talk to people who are done drinking and ready to do the work and can't stay sober. I'm pretty good with them and I have to admit that that's my place right at this time. Important point that will be important for several of you to hear later on when you've reached that day when there's no amends you're aware of and that's what do you do next time it's time to do The Work? And how do you start to recognize that? Well, you start to recognize that to different degrees and sometimes when you're done The Work once sometimes you have to wait until your life's a mess and you hit the wall again. And I had to do that a few times. And I can tell you this, you don't have to. With the power of God and intuition and direct inspiration and prayer and meditation, you'll start to feel some friction in your life and you'll know it's time to do the work again. You'll startto feel some tension with the people that are closest to you. You'llstart to feel that working with others is kind of flat and prayer is kindof flat and meditation you don' t really want to sit. and intuitively you'll know, hey, it's time to do 1 through 9 again. You'll find a way to do that. And I believe anyone in this room that ever wants to do 1 through nine ever and prays about it is going to find away to do one through nine. I also know this. You'll never do the work without power ever again. How limited that might be, no one knows. It depends on how long you wait. But you'll always be able to come back to 1 through 9 from a place of power. Good to see you. And how do you use 10 and 11 to do 1 through 9? Well, you continue the basics. In the morning, you do what the 11th step says to do in the morning. At night, you do with the 11 steps says to do at night. You continue your prayer. You continue your meditation. And each step you're on, you use meditation for that step. Use meditation to consider step one. You use meditation to consider step two. You use medication to consider step three, to write inventory, to fist step, who you're going to fist up with, to do six and seven and eight and especially through amends. So when we talk about the basics of 10 and 11, to me that means a.m., p.m. and throughout the day. The basics of ten and eleven that I can continue to do through the first nine steps this time is that I can continue to do upon awakening and then sit for whatever period of time I've decided to sit currently. I currently sit 20 minutes twice a day. Sometime in your sobriety and this relationship with God becomes important, you're going to sometimes have to ask yourself how much time do I give to this relationship that I say is the most important relationship in my life which all other relationships come from. I mean, a lot of us in this room feel like our spouse or our girlfriend or our boyfriend or our husband is a very important relationship in our life. Do you have to give time to that relationship? Do you need to talk? Do you want to talk to them? Do you know how to listen? Do you love to communicate? Do you think of their needs and what you can do for them? Same deal with God. Not to please Him. To appease my own spirit. For me to be at peace. He's happy right where I am. He's happy wherever I am. He has no judgment about me. How much time do you spend with that relationship which you say is the most important thing in your life? Which all things come from. Which you being able to stay in a marriage come from? Which you Being Able To Be With Somebody comes from? Which You Being ABLE TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS comes from ? How much Time Do You Give To That Relationship? So, I do upon awakening And I sit in meditation for 20 minutes. Find out about meditation and your own niche with meditation. There's as many ways to meditate as there is ways to work this program. It's sad there's so many ways to work the program because we very seldom share a common solution with rooms full of people. We have this weekend. And I, every Tuesday night, get to sit in a home group where we share a common resolution. We've each had our own experience with it. So I do AM, and I do the best I can throughout the day, practicing the 10th step when those things crop up. At once asking God to remove it, discussing it with someone if I need to, making amends if I cause any harm, and turning my thoughts back to someone I can help. And pausing when agitated or doubtful. I do what I can to stay in that world of the Spirit throughout the day and I have tools to use when I get off track. And I do when I retire at night, which we'll read here in a minute that we missed. And that's the evening review. That's my daily inventory. And any corrective measures that come from those questions that will go over if I need to clean up something tomorrow, if it's an apology, amends, I needto call you, something I need to discuss with somebody, I write them down in my day timer for tomorrow, those things that are revealed to me from the evening preview. and then I sit again for 20 minutes. And I do that as I'm doing 1 through 9. I'm using 10 and 11 to do 1 through nine. I'm keeping my focus and my attention and my intention that 1 through9 is what I've decided to do again. And here I am at the beginning of an inventory still able to do 10 and eleven. Still able to sit 20 minutes twice a day. Still ableto pray. Still effective with other people. My life didn't hit the wall. And I would suppose, based on past experience, which is sometimes a trap to base my knowledge on now, I would supposed that when these amends are done from this inventory after I fifth step, when these amendments are done, I'll blast into a whole new experience with 10 and 11 because it's happened every time. And I'll reach another magical day where there's no amends that I'm not aware of and there's nobody in the world that I owe a thing. But I'm not in that state of consciousness because I'm aware of some anger. I'mware of some resentments that are going down on paper. I'maware of some stuff that's blocking me from God. I'maware there's some work that needs to be done in step five. I'maware that there will be new experience there. I'mawaire that there are amends that need to be made. And I'mnot in that magical state of consciousness where I'm current. I've got voices in my head. I'vegot people that own pieces of my ass. I'vegott people thatown part of me that needs to be cleaned up. And I can feel it. And I cannot stay in 1 through 9 that long anymore. This time it's going to be a little longer than usual. It's goingto be from September till probably the end of November. So this time it is going to be about 90 days in that state between 1 through 9. But I can do 10 and 11. But I sure can't do 10 and 11 from that space when there isn't any unfinished amends. So that's what I've been doing and that's why I'm here today. That's what all continue to do and through all that I work with others. I usually sit in my living room with somebody I'm working with three days a week, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Sometimes on Monday. Monday is usually my Sunday because I'm gone so many weekends. And I always put more into working with others than I do into this so I'm not talking more about what I do than doing what that is which I talk about. I usually have three, four people in the first three steps. That means we're meeting every week until they get to inventory. I usuallyhave five or ten people writing inventory at different places. They'll finish at different times. It doesn't matter how many are in inventory. They're all going to finish at a different time. And I usuallyhave 30 or 40 people that are in amends at any given time and about 200 that I've worked with that are done with the men's, they don't call that often. They're living life. They're here. They're there. They're in Australia, Hong Kong, New York, Muscatine, Iowa. And I say that to tell you one story. I have watched 200 people, not in workshops, that I have sat with one-on-one, one at a time in my living room. I have watched 200 people make it to the ninth step. I'm not talking about those that poop out in four, those that poo out in one. I'm talking about 200 people that I've kept track of because of their birthdays. I like to call them on their birthdays that have made it to amends. And I'm going to tell you how many of those 200 drank. Two out of 200. And if you've got a solution in Alcoholics Anonymous where 200 people over a 12-year period only two drank, I'd like to hear it because I would want to do that. And I'll tell you about those two because in those two there's an interesting story. One refused to finish amends and he got real indignant about finishing amends and he's a very famous comedian. He gets a lot of praise and adulation seven days a week except when he calls me. And all of a sudden, I'm not hearing from him because all he wants is praise and agitation and he doesn't want to finish the men's and he gets drunk and he's had a really hard time getting back to the program because he wouldn't finish amends consciously. He'll have 16 days and then he'll have three months and then it'll have two weeks and he can't get it back. Can't get in. The other one was a guy in Denver who refused to do the work again after doing it. And I will tell you this, before any of you in this room start this work, really think about giving your life to it because I'm going to tell you something, you do it once thoroughly, you're never going to settle for anything else ever again. Once you've tasted the honey, you're not going to be able to eat it. You're never gonna settle for any thing less. So don't think deciding about this work is about deciding about this work to do once. Because I'll tell you this, I have seen people do this work once and stop, end up worse than when they started. They might as well have never done it once. Eat some up because the Spirit's been awakened once and it can't stand to not be in that state. I'd also tell you This, Even if you're deciding about doing it for the first time, really decide about giving yourself to all of it. Because I've also seen people get worse who get halfway through and stop in the middle of a fourth step or a ninth step. They literally get worse than if they hadn't done it at all. I'll tell you this, because it wasn't mentioned yesterday during inventory. If you're not putting inventory down on paper in black and white, you'll watch it in living color and your life manifests itself. The inventory will manifest itself out here if it's not manifesting itself down here. The second guy refused to do the work again, and he started working in the field of alcoholism, and he was working with the AIDS Project and hookers and pimps and prostitutes and handing out needles, and he got angrier and angrier and every time I'd see him when I'd go back to Denver, I'd say, grab one of these guys and go through the work against them. Sure I will, sure I will. And he just got anglier and anglier, and one day he thought nothing of sticking a needle in his arm and he was dead in three months. So one died and one is having a really hard time, but I'll tell you about 198 people who are living life that made it to amends and they're living well and they'RE living good and theyRE being a help and they'RE being effective and I've gotten to be a part of that. I've gotten to watch a group in Santa Monica go from 10 people in the basement of a church who had just gone through what you people might go through in a workshop and they did the work together for a year and then they wanted to start a regular meeting. That meeting now has about 80 regular members, three retreats a year, a Christmas party every December with about 500 people that we've all touched and I would say conservatively probably 800 people have come through that group to do the work and then gone back to their communities in the Los Angeles area and they've become a very effective group and I've gotten to be a part of that because when I moved there the fellowship I crave wasn't there It was created by God through me, one alcoholic at a time in my living room. And now all of a sudden you can go all over Los Angeles and hear people talk about the work and doing the work and getting free. And let's talk about The Evening Review. I'll tell you how connected up all of us are. the success of one is a success of all and the failure one is a failure of all. And you know with God, just try and visualize this if you can. I'm in a place that I love as I move through amends and that is that steps 10 and 11 get real active with me outside of me. And a lot of things happen as a result of meditation but I was sitting there one day and i was thinking in particular of a man that they every every fellow human being male or female god has put in my life to take through this process and share my experience out of the book is a gift he's given to me out of his great love for me that's number one the number one place i come from i don't know what they get out of it i know i know that they're gifts to me but i was looking about the changes in this man's life and then Here's the thought I have. Here's this man, and he's living in this block in Kerrville, Texas. And as a result of working the steps in a relationship with God, his wife and his two kids, that whole home is better. And what that means is that every time he and his wife or his wife and two kids leave that home, everyone they touch is better, so the whole block is better and the whole town is better and the entire state of Texas is better and all the United States is better and the universe is better." You think the power of one with God doesn't have an impact? By the same token, the failure of one is the failure of all. I want to go back a little bit and mention a couple things on the eleventh step before we get into the retiring at night. It talks about prayer and meditation shouldn't be in shy. It says better men than we are using it. Prayer and meditation constantly. Prayer and meditation works if... Remember I told you that word, if I have the proper attitude and work at it. I want to suggest that you consider something. Page 55. We started out this workshop and I talked to you about page 55 and an attitude that told me if I can't work at anything, if I cannot fail, and that attitude had three parts to it. Here's what it is. Lay aside prejudice. Think honestly. Search deep within myself. prayer and meditation going within into the quiet. It says if I have this attitude, I cannot fail because the consciousness of my belief is sure to come to me, meaning the conscious awareness of this relationship with the power. I'll have you consider maybe that's an attitude. And then Joe said something that's important. I reached the place one day in Alcoholics Anonymous where it became clear to me that I needed to spend some time, some real time with this God who as a result of doing these steps, this is the best way I can describe. It feels like God so wounded my heart that nothing but Him will quench my thirst. That's what it feels like. And I didn't wake up one day in AA and decide to get taken to this state. What Joe said is true. My heart was so wounded that nothing outside of this relationship with Him will quench my thirst anymore. The other thing I wanted to make, it's almost like if you ask me about God and silence makes more sense than words in trying to explain everything we've done here this weekend in talking about this power. You've got to understand how limited a word is. so anyhow getting back to the idea of this prayer meditation the majority of the time i spend about an hour in the morning i do upon awakening like joe talked about there are a lot of prayers in there i do all of those prayers when i'm done with doing that exercise then i meditate my meditations are normally 20 to 30 minutes and i go into the silence. And when Joe talked about something, when I first started working in meditation early in 94, and it started with just 10 minutes, I had a timer. In my head, it would be talking to me all the time. You know, I'd be sitting there, and here I am, right? I'm trying to create the spiritual man, and I'd been thinking, oh, geez, that lady looks great. I'd like to bop her. I mean, just nuts! Just crazy stuff! But here's what I'll tell you happens to me now. There are times that I'll go into meditation and go into the quiet. And it might be 20 or 30 minutes. And that timer will go off and it feels like I just sat down. What that tells me is somewhere in there for about 20 to 30 minutes, I was in a state of nothingness. And I can't tell you anything that happens in there, but I can tell you this, when I get up and I go about my day, that sixth sense is with me and guides me and protects me and gives me wisdom and lets me pick up all the tools in this. So how do you not get back going into that place? And he's right about something else based on my experience. The last place my self, will, or ego wants me is in that place. You see? Now, I want to go back again to some of the exercises he had talked about. And he talked about before we begin, going to ask God to direct my thinking. And I'm going to asked that my thinking, my thought life... Think about this. There's a part of us that has a life in our mind, our thought life. And that our thought like be divorced from self-pity, feeling sorry for myself, dishonest or self-seeking motives. And then it uses the term thought life, you see. I heard it said one time every step could be a step in tune with God. Every thought could be a thought in tune with God, my thought life." And then It talks about I'm going to think about the 24 hours ahead. Why didn't My Third Step decision and I looked at what I wanted to be. I wanted it to be God's actor, God's agent, God's child. That's what I think about. That's where I want to be that day. And then I consider my plans for the day. I have plans for today. And then if I have to make a decision about anything, I ask God for one of three things. Inspiration, intuition, or a decision. And then an amazing sentence. Mark relaxes and takes it easy. There's two ways to consider your day. In thinking about the 24 hours ahead, you can think about what you'd like to be. In considering your plans for the day, you can thing about what do you need to do. One is about doing. 9 o'clock, I've got to be here. 11 o' clock, 3 o' clock, 5 o'clock. One is abut being. And I usually base my 24 hours a head on what I'd like to be based on my evening review from the night before. If yesterday I was sharp and crude and crass, maybe today I want to be more gentle and open and to the point. So one is about being and one is About Doing. You begin to line those two together and you'll find out about the line of the will that you can exercise your willpower along all that you wish. And if you go into 87, it talks about what used to be a hunch or inspiration becomes a working part of the mind. But now it gives me a little warning about I'm inexperienced and I've just made this contact and I won't be inspired all the time. And it may lead to absurd actions and ideas. And I want to share with you something that happened for me about three years ago and it may be a tool some of you can use. And that is that I have suffered greatly from this warning since I have been sober, since God struck me sober. meaning this idea that this is a direct idea from God I've suffered greatly from self delusion about three years ago I was reading another book and here's what I read as iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another that blinded me literally blinded me and I knew there was something I'm supposed to do with this so here's what I did at that time I got a hold of a man who was acting as a sponsor for me in Kerrville and three other men once a month we sit down in my house now there's one woman who's a member of the group and about five other men very in links of sobriety and I started a meeting I call Steel on Steel and the format of that meeting is this is that we talk about four areas of our life, we take the circle and the triangle we talk very specifically where we're at, like in amends a week from this Wednesday we will meet and I will tell them exactly how many amends I have left to make I talk about unity, my home group, where I am with that. And I talk About Being of Service. I talkabout the people I'm sponsoring. That kind of thing. Then I talkabout significant other relationships, all aspects of that. No stone unturned. These people know how Mark is wired inside and outside. I leave no stone unturned. If I was in a relationship with a woman, I would be talking about that relationship specifically, not skirting the issue. We talk about money and we talk about physical health. Then we do the path of consideration. When I'm done, these people know me very well. I have to sit and they go around the room and they give me feedback and ask me to consider things. And then I make notes on that. And thenI take that into meditation and I come back the next time and I've either taken action or not taken action. So this group of men and women have helped me tremendously to avoid the absurd idea that God is speaking directly to me in these areas. And it's also taught me a lot more about humility, fearlessness, and honesty. So I just wanted to share with you that's just something for you all to consider. Because I'm telling you, I suffered greatly from self-delusion thinking I had this tap into this source and God speaking, marry this woman, Mark. Okay, it sounds like a good idea. I met her on Friday. It's Monday. Joe kids me a little bit but that's what I do. I meet him. A friend of mine said, You know, Mark, it's okay to date. You don't have to marry him. What a new idea. Anyhow, I wanted to share that with you. And then we're given a bunch of tools for going all through the day in here. I'm going to share a little bit about some of the sponsorship experiences in my group and then we'll finish real quickly. Not real quickly, we'll finished with retiring at night. I think one of the greatest gifts that I've ever been given is the gift of giving this thing away. And I have been blessed with the opportunity of getting asked by people to take them through the steps. To me, that's what sponsorship is. I'm not here to be a financial advisor. I'm no here to talk to you about relationships. I'm now here to do any of that. What I'm here to start with you in the title page and take you through page 164. And I've done that with a lot of people. and there's a lot of people out there who are sober today and are helping a whole bunch of other people as a result of this and for me it's just been wonderful to be a part of that whole process the people that I've had a chance to do this thing with there are two fellowships in Alcoholics Anonymous a lot you may not be aware of this one of them is what we've experienced this weekend and that's called The Spirit of the Fellowship we come together and experience The Spirit or the Fellowships but there's another fellowship that the big book talks about on page 164. It's called The Fellowship of the Spirit. You enter the tenth step, you've entered the world of the spirit. Men and women that I've had a chance to take through the steps as a result of doing this work, we also have a connection in The Fellowsship of the Spirituality. When Joe and I are apart, we're never apart. And when we come back together to spend time together, we're connected in The fellowship of the spiritual. Two fellowships in Alcoholics Anonymous. I never knew that until I did this work. I only know how to one way to sponsor, and that's out of this book. And I'm clear on what my role is in that. And I sit down with someone and we ask God to come in and we open the book and we go through the big book. And if I'm doing work with you and you call me, I'm going to ask you a couple questions. The first is did you pray? The second is open your big book? Why do I do that? I'll tell you why. This is not about Mark and Joe. This is about this message which was given to us a book in 1939. The flying blind period has ended. What I'm trying to pass on to people is A, this is about God, and B, it's in this big book. It's not about me. And so that's what I try and do when I'm training to interact with other people because at some point in time I mentioned to you I was moved from Colorado to Texas. At the time I wasn't real happy about that. Now I realize it was a great gift because everything I depended on that I thought had something to do with my sobriety was gone. What happened to me when I went to Texas was there was Mark and there was God and there were a big book about Alcoholics Anonymous because I didn't know anybody. So everything I'd been depending on outside of God got stripped away from me. It was a great gift. He did that for me out of His great love for me. That's how I work with people. The other thing I want to talk about, it had to do with a similar experience to Joe is when I moved to Kerrville, Texas. There were no closed meetings in Kerrville, Texas. I called Don whining one day about some stuff and he said, why don't you get down off the wood, Mark? We need the cross. Or get down at the cross, we need the wood. And he took me into the book, which he always did, and he showed me the part about one person with this book alone and why don'T you see what you can bring back in there instead of bitching to me about how AA is being handled in Kerrrville. So, well, that's a radical concept. So I started asking how I could be helpful and showed up and there were meetings. There really weren't groups at this one particular club and so myself and another gentleman and two other people, what we did, we showed up on Monday night and there wasn't anyone else there so we held a group conscious and formed a group and I'll tell you something, we're three years down the road and Joe's been to this group. You've got to understand Kerrville is a small town, 18,000 people. It's called the Carry the Message Group. We have two closed meetings and two open meetings. We take one meeting to a treatment center we have a beginner's meeting if you went there on a Monday night you'll find anywhere between 60 and 80 people in that group you will see about 50 big books our format is that we use a bell nobody talks for more than five minutes and we're interested in your current experience we have one person chair for the month we have a discussion leader that discussion leader has a week to take into meditation the topic he's supposed to bring to the group this is not any of this crap but tapping somebody one minute before the meeting and say, bring up a topic. And we do what it's suggested to us in here. We talk about the message and our experience with the message out of the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Now I will tell you this and it's about the power of this book and it is about the Power of the Message and the Power God. Of the regular members of this group in the last three years there has only been four of them that have relapsed. Three of the four did it around the men's. They didn't believe the ninth step had anything to do with the first step. What's that about? That's the power about the book. That's about the power of this book and the power in God. Wednesday nights are other closed meetings, which is at 6 o'clock. There's anywhere between 40 and 60 there. We're talking a town of 18,000 people, folks. We're talk about people who are really excited about this program. They're really excited about seeking God. They're real excited about the solution. We do 12-step work. We go a lot of places. I'm like Joe. I know where my niche is. My niche is sitting in my living room helping another alcoholic. I've done a lot of the other things it became clear to me one day where God wants me. I don't take any positions within the group. I don' t do anything. I'm just a drunk sitting in the carry the message meeting and I absolutely love it. I don''t know if Joe went through this, but I got moved from being a bleeding deacon to an elder statesman real quick, I'm here to tell you. And I'll tell you why I love going with the group, two things happen in there. Number one, one of the most important to me is you better remind me what's wrong with me and that is that I suffer from alcoholism. And number two, when I go into that meeting, it doesn't matter how long someone's been sober. If I'm in a self-delusion, they're going to snap me right back. They come from the same place Joe and I do. They love me more as a child of God than they care about my sensitive little feelings. I've said this. I told you to consider this. Your environment has more power than anything you can bring to bear. You see, I'm safe and protected sitting within that group because that's a group of men and women who love God and are seeking God through the 12 steps and who carry a strong message. So that's an environment People said to me, why don't you go to other meetings? I said, why would I? I go to meetings every time I go out of town. I goto a lot of different meetings. But I know where I have to be. I'm very proud to be a member of the Carry the Message group. And I'mvery active in that group. That's some of my experience as a result of... See, here's another paradox. You look at that circle and the triangle, and here's what I know today based on experience. If I am in all three parts of the circle and triangle, God takes care of every other area of my life. It's another paradox. When I'm in a self-will, I think I've got to go out and get the job and blah, blah, bla, blah. I don't. When I am in the circle and the triangle seeking God, the power guides me and takes careof all the rest. So now let's go back and talk about when we retire at night. So when we retireat at night, we will constructively review our day. How do you do that? How do you make this review so it's not destructive? So you're beating yourself up for what a rotten, terrible person you were during the day. Well, be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection. Stay out of those things and it will be constructive. Drift into those things that will be destructive. So how do I keep from drifting into worry remorse and morbid Reflection in the evening review during that time. If I'm reviewing my day and one of those things crop up, I practice the tenth step. I ask for it to be removed, and I turn out of it. Back to the questions. Where was I resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid? Do I owe an apology? Have I kept something to myself which should be discussed with another person at once? Was I kind and loving toward all? What could I have done better? Was I thinking of myself most of the time, or was I thinking of what I could do for others, what I would pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse, or morbid reflection, for that would diminish my usefulness to others. After making my review, I ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken, and then I meditate. and any corrective measures that are revealed to me from the meditation you need to call so-and-so you need apologize to so-an-so you need clean this up with so-n-so you need discuss this with so and so I write down in my day timer for tomorrow they're part of what I'm doing to stay current because I'm so in love with that moment where I am current here in the moment with you to be effective and useful and I can experience that silence that's there in that moment. I'm so in love with that. I do everything I possibly can, but you can't never know that until you've been to that moment, until you're in love until you have been to that moment where there is nothingness. I remember hearing my sponsor for the very first time in my last treatment center in August 1982 and he said there were times in his life where there was one thought at a time and he hooked me. He had me. He also said there are also special, special times when there's no thought at all. And I wanted that. I wanted it. I wanted to do that really bad. And he also said there were times where he was exactly where he wanted to be with exactly who he wanted to be with doing exactly what he wanted him to do. And I can say to you most of this weekend I've been in that state of consciousness. I've done more than I've wanted to me. I mean how does a guy like me do after doing what I did in this city get asked to come back here and do something like this. And I've been who I've wanted to be with. People who are interested in the work in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. And I'm going to do that. I've done what I've always wanted to do. And I get to experience those times where there's no thought at all. But I never could when there was unfinished amends. Because it's got me. The past has got a hold on me. And this can be in the moment, this can being the day, hey, this can be from your entire life. But when I get current and I start doing 10 and 11, I get to clean that stuff up every night and make it part of my day to stay current tomorrow. So I do this evening review and I ask what corrective measures should be taken and I write them down after my meditation. A little bit about my home group. I told you how they've grown and some of the stuff they do with their retreats and their Christmas party. and we do more outside of our group than we do during the meeting because we do a lot of work one-on-one with each other and we go through the steps with each another. We're a step working group. It's a workhorse group as one friend said who comes there on a regular basis. Let me just tell you about their format because we believe in talking and we believe in the power of questions and I'll tell you a couple stories about what questions have caused as far as movement. I told you earlier in the weekend We've gotten real compulsive. We have three formats a month. That's just our own. We're just really alcoholic. So twice a month we have a 25-minute speaker. We open with introductions around the room. If you're not an alcoholic, you're asked to leave. You're taken outside by somebody. That can be alcoholic and anything else. But if they don't say alcoholic, if they say they're there to find out, they're welcome for a period of time until they find out. Then they introduce themselves around the room, read how it works, do the third step prayer, five minutes of meditation, a 25-minute speaker. Then anybody can ask anybody anything they want including the speaker or share. Hour and a half meeting. Then once a month we have the whole meeting hour and a Half after the intros and how it Works and the prayer and five minutes in meditation. The whole meeting is focused on a discussion meeting where you're at in recovery. And anybody can ask anybody anything they want. Then once a month, we got this new scary format from Denver that we weren't ready to do for a lot of years that still intimidates me. And that is, why different than those other three? I don't know, but it still intimidats me. The leader picks a line or word from the book, shares for 15 minutes. He then picks two women and two men to share on that line and they share for five minutes each. then the rest of the meeting, which is about 45 minutes, is crossfire. Anybody can ask anybody anything they want. You can't share. You can only ask questions. So you learn how to ask questions, giving an example. A man comes to our group 30 years sober. He's got six months to live with bone marrow cancer. He's done the work when he was 28 years sober, and he's more free than he's ever been in 30 years. But in his talk, he says he's got five amends left, and they're going to be made on God's time. And whenever I hear things like that, a warning flag goes up. So people loved them and people shared and people asked questions. It got to me and I said, I need to ask you a question. Do you really think those last five amends are small and do they have any connection to whether you might drink again or not? He says, they have absolutely no connection to whether I might drink against you or not and started to share. By the time he was done sharing, he said, you know, I think they're my five biggest amends to my three children and my two ex-wives. And I see how they're directly connected to alcohol. Thank you very much. And who knows if I would have waited until the end of the meeting to ask him that alone, who that might have not helped in that room because four other people came up and said, God, I really needed to hear that question. Thank you. Thank you so very much." I saw him two weeks later. He came across the room at a meeting and said I need to thank you for asking me that question because it caused extreme movement in my life and I'm down to one amends. Two weeks later, a girlfriend of his called me and told me he'd finished that last amends He had no more. He was more free than she'd known him in the 30 years he was sober and he'd gone back to the three doctors that were treating him and the cancer's gone. And I don't know the connection between those two but I know the power of finishing amends It's been great for me to be here I could never thank you enough for giving me the opportunity to experience another level of freedom in my hometown and with people that I wanted to see and to be with you all. And I might have a little more to say, and let Mark wrap it up. If you have a big book, turn to page 164. I think that the three paragraphs, actually the four that I want to read, I think really sum up what this whole weekend was really all about. Still you may say, but I will not have the benefit of contact with you who write this book. We cannot be sure. God will determine that. So you must remember that your real reliance is always upon Him. He will show you how to create the fellowship that you crave. I want to say something quickly. In the third step prayer, there's a line which says, God, please take away my difficulties so that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Your power, Your love, and Your way of life. And that's all Joe and I have done this weekend. God took away our difficulties and we're here to bear witness to You of God's power, God's love, and God's way of wife. It's important for me to start these and to end these Because of myself I am nothing The Father doeth the works Goes on to say that our book is meant to be suggestive only We realize we know only a little God will constantly disclose more to you and to us Ask Him in your morning meditation What you can do each day for the man who is still sick The answers will come if your own house is in order These steps allow us to get our house in order but obviously you cannot transmit something that you haven't got. See to it your relationship with Him is right and great events will come to pass for you and for countless others. This is the great fact for us. Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find enjoying us. We shall be with you in the fellowship of the Spirit. And you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the road of happy destiny. May God bless you and keep you until then. Thank you. Thanks. Thanks.