Fifty Years Sober and the Alcohol Groove Is Still Burned Into My Brain – Duke D.

About This Speaker Tape

Duke D. shares his experience at the 2000 AA International Convention on the topic of "Came to Believe." A long-timer with over 50 years of continuous sobriety, Duke is a member of the Way of Life group in Daytona Beach, Florida. He opens with infectious gratitude, describing a "huge attack of the gratitudes" that hit him that morning, and marvels at being in a dome with 50,000 sober drunks, quoting Jack Alexander's famous follow-up article about drunks being impressive whether "roaring drunk or roaring sober."

Duke candidly describes his deep chemical affinity for alcohol — he still catches himself reading Walgreens liquor ads and gets irritated when they raise the price of Jim Beam, despite not buying a bottle in half a century. He shares a touching and funny scene of watching his late wife, a social drinker, nurse a single weak drink while the ice melted, fighting the urge to shake her and say "drink the goddamn thing." He briefly touches on the devastating loss of his wife to Alzheimer's, crediting his home group with keeping him alive through that period.

He recounts a critical warning story from 17 years sober, when he stopped going to meetings for six months while living in San Juan and woke up with a physical craving. Only his promise to his sponsor Marvin — and a long-distance phone call that lasted until daylight — saved him from drinking. The centerpiece of his talk is a vivid merchant-marine story from his drinking days: falling overboard drunk in the deep waters of Guantanamo Bay at night, swimming exhausted toward Kaimanera, bargaining with Higher Power, giving up completely — and then his feet hitting bottom in shallow water. He stood up belly-button deep in the moonlight, rescued, and asked for a drink. The story perfectly illustrates the alcoholic's journey from self-will to surrender, and the discovery that Higher Power's help sometimes arrives in forms we don't expect.

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Timestamps

• 0:00 Opens with gratitude, references 50,000 sober drunks in the Dome and Jack Alexander's follow-up article about drunks being impressive
• 3:00 Introduces himself as Duke D., member of Way of Life group in Daytona Beach, sober as long as he can remember
• 5:00 Describes his chemical affinity for alcohol — still reads liquor ads, gets angry when Jim Beam prices go up after 50 years sober
• 7:00 Watches his late wife nurse a weak drink while ice melts — wanted to shake her and say drink the goddamn thing
• 9:00 Wife's death from Alzheimer's — the most difficult period of his life, home group kept him alive
• 11:00 Near-relapse at 17 years sober in San Juan after six months away from meetings — overnight phone call to sponsor Marvin saved him
• 14:00 Merchant marine story begins — loading sugar in Guantanamo Bay, Shorty's Beach with dollar rum and thatched huts
• 17:00 Falls overboard drunk at night in deep Guantanamo Bay, fully clothed, boat crew too drunk to find him
• 20:00 Bargains with Higher Power while drowning — Higher Power I really mean it this time — no rescue comes
• 22:00 Gives up completely, starts to sink, feet hit bottom — stands up belly-button deep in the moonlight, asks for a drink