Feelings and the Language for the Weirdness in Her Skin – Megan G.

About This Speaker Tape

Tulsa, Oklahoma. A nine-year-old girl steals a bottle of wine from a fridge at a sleepover, chasing a feeling of being "cool" to mask the weirdness in her skin. Megan G. describes a life spent seeking oblivion to obliterate a void that only grew after her brother took his own life at twenty-three. The wreckage mounted fast: projectile vomiting in every room of an apartment, a teenage engagement, and a flight to Las Vegas that ended in a blur of totaled cars and credit card debt.

The chaos peaked in a marriage of convenience and crime. Megan and her husband robbed three banks, treating the loot like rock star funding for bottle service and limos. The run ended in a Phoenix airport tunnel, guns drawn, and a federal holding facility. Even a two-year stint in federal prison couldn't break the cycle; she emerged as a violent felon who downed champagne cups from the sink at her stepdad's wedding. It took the scientific metaphor of prayer as energy and a desperate drive to a meeting in En...

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction and Megan G. expresses nervousness about speaking on Zoom.
• 4:30 Childhood memories of stealing wine at age nine and the 'magic' of alcohol at twelve.
• 8:15 The trauma of losing her older brother to suicide and the subsequent pursuit of oblivion.
• 12:40 The 'projectile vomiting' story and the delusion of being the life of the party.
• 17:20 The decision to rob banks in Tulsa and Las Vegas with her husband.
• 23:10 The arrest by federal agents in a Phoenix airport tunnel with guns drawn.
• 28:45 The struggle with failed UAs and the denial that alcohol was the primary problem.
• 33:10 Serving time in federal prison in Fort Worth and the lack of appreciation for her mother's visits.
• 38:20 The 'champagne toast' relapse immediately after leaving prison.
• 42:15 The turning point: a counselor's talk on prayer as energy and the first honest sobriety date.
• 47:50 The importance of showing up 30 minutes early to meetings for newcomers.
• 53:10 Reflections on the wreckage caused to her parents and the value of Al-Anon stories.