Emotional Sobriety in the Increments of Now – Earl M.

About This Speaker Tape

A physician with a high tolerance for the bottle Earl M. spent decades playing alcohol and amphetamines against each other while maintaining a professional facade. He didn't hit a cinematic bottom instead he made more money than ever while his internal life became a shambles.

The shift came in 1953 triggered by a piece of paper from a friend and a sudden internal explosion of pain that signaled his last drink. He describes a long winding road toward emotional sobriety which included a three-year odyssey through Asia wearing a doti and attempting the lotus position in search of a serenity that only arrived once he stopped looking for it. He views recovery not as a set of rules to be copied from old-timers but as a process of accepting the 'is-ness' of the present moment and finding a home inside himself.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Earl M. opens with a reflection on his 39 years of sobriety and his wife, Mickey M.
• 3:15 Laughter: The story of the drunk in the ice house.
• 6:40 Earl M. discusses his career as a physician and the 'shambles' of his internal life.
• 11:20 A memory of drinking four quarts of wine at age 15 in the Russian River area.
• 16:50 The 'last drink' experience and the sudden spiritual awakening on the stairs of his home.
• 21:10 The humility of a doctor learning sobriety from a butcher, a carpenter, and a baker.
• 26:30 Discussion of the Big Book, specifically the 'half measures' warning on page 70.
• 31:00 The realization that 'home' is a state of being inside oneself.
• 36:40 Earl M. warns against 'copycating' other members and the 'AA circuit'.
• 43:10 The search for serenity in Asia: wearing a doti and visiting ashrams in India.
• 51:20 The encounter with Tran C. in Saigon and the lesson of 'it's all alright'.
• 56:10 Final thoughts on surrender, the ego, and the essence of the Higher Power in the rooms.