Eloy P. on Resentment, the Big Book, and the 12th Step

About This Speaker Tape

A sofa found in the trash and a one-room apartment with a notice threatening eviction—that was the wreckage Eloy P. called home. He arrived at the rooms drunk and drugged, a man with a broken spirit and a heart full of broken glass. For years, he carried a "costal," a heavy sack of resentments that started in childhood and peaked with a jagged hatred for his father. He spent his early sobriety crying like a magdalena in the tribunes, convinced the rooms only wanted to hear the sound of suffering.

The turning point came when he stopped playing the victim and started cleaning his side of the sidewalk. After eleven years of silence, he faced his father in Mexico; they wept together, trading old hatred for a fragile, new understanding. Eloy warns that resentment is a luxury an alcoholic cannot afford because it is the fastest route back to the bottle. Now, he finds his Higher Power by serving the newcomers, trading his old ego for a coffee pot and a willingness to be a "statist" who si...

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Timestamps

• 0:00 Eloy P. opens with the joy of seeing old friends in the bathroom and the rooms.
• 3:15 Eloy discusses the 'sack of resentments' carried since childhood.
• 6:40 Laughter: Eloy jokes about the group's appetite for hearing him cry about his father.
• 10:12 Eloy describes his early days of service: cleaning the rooms and making coffee.
• 14:30 Step 4 and 9: Eloy recounts the 11-year gap and the eventual reconciliation with his father in Mexico.
• 18:50 Eloy discusses the danger of 'resenting your companions' within the fellowship.
• 23:10 Eloy reflects on his 'pink cloud' phase and his attempt to mimic the style of an old-timer.
• 27:45 Eloy shares a story of providing burritos and clothes to homeless men.
• 31:20 Víctor F. begins his share, discussing the loss of his mother and niece.
• 36:15 Víctor F. discusses Bill W. and the importance of anonymity and the Traditions.
• 42:10 Víctor F. tells the story of his bankruptcy and the 'mathematical miracle' of the envelope of cash.
• 47:50 Víctor F. closes with the parable of the mutilated fox and the lion.