Earl H. at the South Bay Roundup – 2021

About This Speaker Tape

South Bay Roundup - 2021

A violent childhood and a boarding school that felt like Lord of the Flies set the stage for a life spent running from a deep undercurrent of self-centered fear. Earl H. describes a wreckage that includes shooting dope at fifteen escaping a mental institution in West LA and surviving a plane crash in Mexico that killed his parents and sister. He spent years trying to blot out the intolerable nature of his existence with every drug available eventually hitting a wall of physical collapse and a blackout that led him to a detox cot in Long Beach. He credits his survival to a 'vicious' sponsor Donald M. a flamboyantly gay man who taught him that he didn't have to like the directions he just had to follow them. Now 38 years sober Earl views the program as a way to reboot a broken life through the rigorous action of the steps and the simple act of chopping wood and carrying water.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Earl H. opens by recalling his first convention experience, standing in the back 'mad dogging' the room.
• 3:15 Recounts being sent to a boarding school at twelve and the fight with 'Tiny' that earned him a reputation as a maniac.
• 6:40 Describes the 'fear killer' effect of his first experience with weed and wine at twelve.
• 12:10 The story of escaping the Westwood mental institution and later admitting it to the administrator.
• 16:30 The trauma of the plane crash in Mexico and the subsequent torture by federales.
• 21:10 Describes the physical collapse of his body and the 'lightning bolt' moment in his final blackout.
• 24:40 Laughter: Earl describes his first interactions with the 'A&A' and the blunt nature of early meetings.
• 28:15 The influence of his sponsor Donald M. and the 'wrist slashers' meeting.
• 33:20 A breakdown of the 12 Steps as a process of rebooting the mind and spirit.
• 38:40 Earl's plea for kindness toward newcomers and his warning against 'shooting our wounded'.