Duval W. – Sponsorship – How To Be A Sponsee Workshop – 2014

About This Speaker Tape

Chuck H. maps out the raw, often messy reality of being a sponsee, moving from the arrogance of thinking he knew everything to the humility of needing a guide. He describes the wreckage of his early attempts to sponsor himself in 1982, which left him and others 'sick,' and the visceral pain of childhood molestation by a church deacon.

Chuck emphasizes the necessity of a sponsorship family—a broad base of support—and the danger of 'sponsoring oneself' through the Fourth Step. He cuts through the illusion of self-sufficiency, arguing that without a sponsor to call him on his shit and a commitment to regular meetings, he becomes a 'London caveman' in his own home. The narrative centers on the total surrender required to move from a state of spiritual death to a life of emotional stability, using the Basic T. as the map for this transition.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction and NA convention guidelines regarding anonymity and the 'clarity statement' on addiction.
• 5:15 Chuck discusses the dynamic of being a sponsee and the cycle of ignoring a sponsor's advice only to follow it after the consequences hit.
• 10:20 Chuck reflects on the lack of role models in his childhood and the impact of his sponsor telling him he is proud of him.
• 15:45 The heartbreak of his sponsor relapsing and the immediate necessity of finding a new sponsor to avoid 'sponsoring himself.'
• 22:10 Chuck discusses the 'miracle' of the sponsorship family and the importance of not putting sponsors on a pedestal.
• 30:15 Discussion on 'relapse in behavior' and the danger of letting meeting attendance slide.
• 38:40 Step 4: Chuck shares his experience trying to do a Fourth Step alone in Stateville penitentiary and why that is dangerous.
• 45:10 Raw account of childhood trauma: being molested by a church deacon at age seven.
• 52:30 The importance of the Fifth Step and the risk of trusting one person with secrets to find freedom.
• 58:00 Closing thoughts on early recovery relationships and the 'Hannibal Lecter' metaphor for mental instability.