Drinking to Be Someone You Are Not – Gene D.

About This Speaker Tape

Gene D. maps out the deceptive nature of the 'good' start to a drunk contrasting it with the inevitable descent into pleading and degradation. He dismantles the illusion of control using his own history as a harness horse driver and a masonry superintendent to illustrate how alcohol was used to mask an inferiority complex and a lack of education.

Gene cuts through the 'slip' narrative arguing that a relapse is a failure to accept the first step. He recounts the wreckage of blackouts—from waking up in Macon Georgia with unexplained money to a chilling story about a prisoner in Soledad who may have committed murder during a blackout—to warn the room that the only way out is a total surrender to a Higher Power and the lived experience of those who have already recovered.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Gene discusses the Salvation Army facilities in San Francisco and his history with the 'green box'.
• 4:15 Laughter: Gene talks about the 'MAC' facility and compares it to a McDonald's Big Mac.
• 8:30 Gene describes using alcohol to mask an inferiority complex while working as a masonry superintendent.
• 12:15 Discussion of the 'invisible line' between social drinking and alcoholism.
• 16:40 Gene recounts his first AA meeting in 1950 and hearing John C. speak about skid row.
• 22:10 Gene explains the 'need' to drink and the chemical impossibility of the cure being the cause.
• 27:50 Gene describes a night in the gutter on Madison Street after being asked to leave a meeting for being drunk.
• 32:10 Gene dismantles the concept of a 'slip' and describes the progression of a week-long drunk.
• 38:45 Gene explains the difference between passing out and blacking out.
• 42:20 Gene tells the story of the prisoner in Soledad and the dangers of alcoholic rage.
• 48:10 Gene defines temporary insanity and the legal requirements for commitment.
• 52:30 Gene suggests a simple prayer for the newcomers to test the existence of a Higher Power.