Deb H. at the Emotional Sobriety Conference – 2020

About This Speaker Tape

Face down in a mud puddle—that is the destination for Deb H. if she ever takes a drink. An alcoholic who entered the rooms at fifteen, Deb describes a craving so absolute that it functioned as an allergy, dragging her toward oblivion. She speaks of the "three-legged stool" of human instincts—the drive to be somebody, have somebody, and have needs met—and how, without a Higher Power to balance the legs, the stool topples.

For Deb, the fourth step is not a one-time event but "spring cleaning" for the soul. She views her character defects as shapeshifters that put on a different hat and sunglasses to sneak back into her life. By consistently auditing her "saleable goods," she ensures her shelves aren't stocked with manipulative crap. From the terror of her husband deploying to war to the vulnerability of sponsorship, Deb argues that surrender is a practice, not an event, used to stay unblocked so the spirit can flow.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Beth introduces Deb H. with a reading from the 12 and 12 on instincts.
• 2:15 Deb H. describes her 'phenomenon of craving' and entering AA at 15 years old.
• 6:40 Discussion on the 'deal' struck in Step 3 and the courage required for Steps 4 and 5.
• 10:15 Laughter: Deb H. talks about her new sponsee's naive admiration for the program.
• 14:30 The 'good enough girl' mentality and the shift toward seeking the best in recovery.
• 18:50 Analysis of the three basic instincts and how they drive human behavior.
• 23:10 The 'three-legged stool' metaphor for spiritual balance.
• 27:40 The experience of powerlessness while her husband, a Marine, was deployed to war.
• 31:20 Step 4 as 'spring cleaning' for the soul to make room for a Higher Power.