David B. on Alcoholism, Character Defects, and Combining AA with Therapy

About This Speaker Tape

1984, a diesel mechanic with grease under his fingernails and a blackout that lasted until daylight. David B. lived in the gap between the man he wanted to be and the man who lied to his wife about being "fog bound" offshore just to hit the bars. He describes a life of "lightning and thunder," where willpower was a joke and every promise to stay sober was a lie waiting to happen. He recalls the gritty reality of waking up behind a steering wheel with no keys, breaking into his own shop with a tire iron, and staring at the riffraff floating in a whirlpool on a tugboat, wondering if he should jump.

He found a Higher Power not in a vacuum, but through the wreckage of his character. After a stint in treatment, he met a sponsor—a Miami street drunk in a three-piece suit—who told him to throw out the "treatment garbage" and study the Big Book. David B. admits that sobriety isn't a bed of roses; he's faced rages in sobriety worse than his drunkenness.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 David B. opens with his sobriety date: February 22, 1984.
• 4:15 Story about drinking slow gin in a 1952 Buick after winning a state football championship.
• 11:40 The 'tugboat' moment: David B. describes the urge to jump overboard into the engine wash.
• 16:20 The blackout experience: Waking up in his truck without keys and breaking into his own shop with a tire iron.
• 22:10 The 'last beer' story: Paying off a bar tab and receiving a complimentary drink.
• 26:40 Entering treatment: The ride to Baton Rouge and the realization that alcoholism is a disease.
• 31:15 Sponsorship: David B.'s first sponsor tells him to throw out the 'treatment garbage' and read The Doctor's Opinion.
• 38:50 The 'rage in sobriety' and the story of the Special K cereal bowl.
• 44:10 Discussion on the necessity of outside therapy alongside the 12 Steps.
• 48:30 Closing thoughts on hope and the willingness to be honest.