Dave E. – Step 11 and the Higher Power Fight – 2018

About This Speaker Tape

Dave traces a life spent chasing a rock star identity to mask a deep-seated sense of inadequacy compared to his older brothers. From playing bass in grunge cover bands to living in an airplane hangar in McKinney, Dave's early years were a blur of booze and bad decisions. He maps out several failed attempts at sobriety—including a teenage phase of 'Straight E.' fueled by Cherry P.—before finally hitting a wall in 1998.

The narrative shifts from the early euphoria of finding a fellowship in Austin to a devastating turning point: the birth of his first son with severe disabilities. Dave dismantles the anger and spiritual collapse that followed, describing how he broke from the program and denounced his Higher Power, only to be pulled back by a friend and a step study. He concludes with the miracle of his son's resilience, now a college wrestler, and the realization that his son's struggle became the catalyst for Dave's own spiritual growth.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Intro: Dave's teaser about the turning point of his child's disability.
• 6:15 Dave discusses his early musical interests and playing in grunge cover bands.
• 15:40 The 'Straight Edge' phase: Cherry Pepsi and the guitar-string tattoo.
• 23:10 Living in an airplane hangar in McKinney and the escalation of behaviors.
• 34:20 The 'geographic cure' attempts: moving between Texas and Oregon.
• 46:10 The last drink: throwing a warm Miller Lite out the window on I-30.
• 53:15 First AA meeting: sitting in the fourth row back, third chair in.
• 1:02:10 Meeting his wife and the 'Shamu' Suburban.
• 1:12:40 The crisis: finding out his son was disabled and the subsequent anger and break from the program.
• 1:22:15 The miracle of his son Christian becoming a college wrestler.
• 1:28:30 Returning to the program through a step study with David G.