Chris R. on Steps 8 and 9 — Rationalizing the Wreckage and the Need for Urgency

About This Speaker Tape

Myers and Chris dismantle the wreckage of Steps Eight and Nine, focusing on the danger of the 'sponsor leash' being too loose. Myers warns that given enough time in one's own head, an alcoholic can rationalize any harm away, turning themselves into the hero of a twisted story. He maps out the necessity of urgency in making amends to avoid the ego's interference.

Through gritty stories of a former Aryan Brotherhood member who almost murdered his father and a bookbinder who drank while restoring priceless museum heirlooms, they argue that cleaning up the 'universe' is the only way to achieve true freedom. They emphasize that amends aren't about fixing a relationship—which may be impossible—but about removing the internal blocks that keep a person stuck. The conversation cuts through the 'scripted' approach to recovery, urging genuine, raw honesty over disingenuous therapy-speak.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Myers discusses the 'cause and effect' of the steps and the danger of not finishing the work.
• 4:10 Laughter: Discussion on the comfort of finding someone else to hate together.
• 8:20 Myers explains the 'restaurant' visualization for identifying people to whom amends are owed.
• 13:15 Story of Tom, who couldn't get a second date until he cleared his wreckage with women.
• 18:40 Myers describes the 'Homer Bound' facility and introduces Jim, the former Aryan Brotherhood member.
• 24:10 The climax of Jim's story: the confrontation with his father and the release of hate.
• 30:15 Myers recounts his career as a bookbinder and the party where he tried to choke a man.
• 36:40 Discussion on the 'universe' and how making amends prevents the 'universe from kicking back'.
• 42:10 Chris shares his story about the light pole incident and his subsequent amends to his boss, Frank.
• 51:20 Chris warns against reading from 'scripts' during amends, calling it disingenuous.
• 56:10 Chris discusses the necessity of paying back financial amends, even if it means washing pots at a second job.
• 1:02:15 The story of the 'deaf ear' amends and the closing thoughts on the 12 Steps.