Cass V. Discussing Dr. Silkworth and the Initial Pages of the Big Book

About This Speaker Tape

Upstate New York, where the women did the "AA Foxtrot"—hitting steps 1, 2, 3, and 12 while skipping the wreckage of the middle. Cass N. walked into the rooms with an ego that required a Mack truck to carry, convinced she was superior to the crowd. She describes a brutal sponsorship with a woman who refused to be her chauffeur or marriage counselor, telling her plainly: "If you want a friend, go get a dog."

The turning point was the Doctor's Opinion. Cass recalls the horror of the "between drinks" mind—the cold sobriety where she looked at her ten-year-old daughter in a doorway and told her to go away because the bar was about to open. She admits she had wished her children dead because they interfered with her business. Through the text, she realized she had no choice; the disease had severed the maternal bond. Now, she views spirituality as "right action" and the discipline of a larger world, trading her facade for a Higher Power.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Cass V. describes the 'AA Foxtrot' and the lack of rigorous sponsorship for women upstate New York.
• 2:15 Laughter: Story about the newcomer who kept asking 'How?' regarding stopping drinking.
• 5:10 Cass discusses the history of the Big Book and the importance of the Doctor's Opinion.
• 8:20 Cass describes her 'Mack truck' ego and her relationship with her uncompromising sponsor.
• 12:40 The 'three-fold disease': Cass breaks down the physical, mental, and spiritual malady.
• 15:10 Raw account: Cass describes the moment she told her daughter to go away because the bar was about to open.
• 18:30 Analysis of the Doctor's Opinion, specifically the 'phenomenon of craving' and the loss of free will.
• 22:10 Cass discusses the struggle with self-esteem in women and the role of sponsorship.
• 26:40 Step 6 and 7: Cass explains her method of highlighting character defects in the 4th step to prepare for the 6th.
• 30:15 Cass defines spirituality as 'right action' and discusses her shift away from Catholic religion.
• 34:20 A technical exercise in reading Bill's Story using two different colored highlighters to find points of identification and danger.