Calvin M. – Traditions – NA Traditions 10 11 And 12 Workshop – 2006

problems within our society in everyday living, just that much faster do we become acceptable, responsible, and productive members of that society. The only way to keep from returning to active addiction is to not take that first drug. If you're like us, you know that one is too many and a thousand never enough. We put great emphasis on this for we know that when we use drugs in any form or substitute one for another, we release our addiction all over again. Thinking of alcohol as different from other drugs has caused a great many addicts to relapse. Before we came to NA, many of us viewed alcohol separately. But we cannot afford to be confused about this. Alcohol is a drug. We are people with the disease of addiction who must abstain from all drugs in order to recover. Thanks for letting me read. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. okay the format of this here workshop is that we have two speakers to share their experience strength to hope on a topic which by the way i think is uh traditions 10 11 and 12 okay and um and keep in mind that this year workshop is being taped and um i guess we're going to monitor the time too like they take roughly 30 minutes a piece or however long it's going to take you, okay? We got both speakers in? Okay. Okay, well we're going to let you come on up here and throw down. Hello, family. My name is Cal. I'm truly grateful to be a member of Not Collar's Anonymous. Truly want to say this is the only thing that has kept me from using. This is the one program I have been involved in that has changed my life. helped me change my behavior for identification purposes y'all know i use drugs i was one that started and couldn't stop but before i used drugs i had some behaviors and they was uh inappropriate to society due to the fact of going to jail so they carried the message to me and let me know i was out of pocket you know it's amazing put me on tradition 10, 11, and 12 and I need to tell the newcomer that if you are here and not Kaiser Anonymous stay. I want to guarantee you that if you stay long enough you will lose the desire to use drugs and find a new way to live it takes some work I can guarantee you that things will get better. So please, I pray and hope that you take the opportunity to accept what NACAWS Anonymous has to offer you. NACAs Anonymous have a lot to offer and that's through my experience and with my evidence. I'm truly pleased with the results that's going on with my life and the change in my life, the behavior. You know understanding traditions come slowly over a period of time so I always say to people man I say stay around here long enough to get some clarity because it takes time to get clarity on things we do and say around the rooms are not cause anonymous so stay long enough to understand the fellowship stay long to understand the program of not causing knowledge just stayed long enough and i guarantee you it works if you work it oh you know these steps and the tradition goes together and you know it's funny they said 10 11 12 because You know, I'm the one that was taught that it's impossible to just jump in the middle. So you've got to have one, two, three, four, five. And why I say take time because, man, there's so many principles that we have to bring over into the next step, into the next tradition to make it whole where we'll be able to apply it. That's why it always says only through understanding in an application. And believe me, through my experiences, it took some time for me to get to where I'm at today. That's a tradition, man, for me. You know, I'm grateful that when I got here, man there was some people here that made not causing anomalies look like it worked. And I say that because, see, sometimes our literature talks about how messed up we were and our reputation was all messed up. So when I got here, man, I knew some guys when I get here. And they had made a 720. That means they had changed completely. And not saying that they're perfect, but they did some changing in their life. So by seeing them, that let me know that the program worked. See, they made non-cognitive anomalies available, so that's how I apply the 10 traditions in my life, man. See, I'm talking about, see, I'M the guy that takes not just the drugs. I broaden the picture of addiction. and when I do that man see we talking about in the community we talking about applying these spiritual principles outside the rooms of so I'm talking about it's real important for me to line up with what I say out my mouth and believe me it took some time to do that so I am talking about when I am in the community man people that knew I used to use and they don't see me use no more they don't see me hanging on the corner no more matter of fact they see me washing my car emptying the garbage raking the grass so when they see that man they are they have a chance to see that the program works see I'm explaining that this way because see a lot of times man I have seen a lot of people take this tradition and say you and your wife or having a problem and you go talk to another member, the first thing they say is that I don't have no comment on outside issues. Well, see, if you read the literature long enough, it's not even talking about such that thing. See, it sounds like that's what it's talking about. But see, when I be who I am And when I'm showing the way that I live now, the new character that Nakai's Namas have built inside of me, people say their program works. Because not only do they not see me using drugs, they've seen the whole behavior change. See, I'm talking about being a productive citizen in the neighborhood. I'm talking about in the meetings. I remember I didn't know how to do those things. So I'm talk about, man, now that when I'm at a meeting, man it's real important that what I say out of my mouth, man really don't mean nothing. Because see the way that I am now, man you can talk all day long. See, you got to live this. See, I got to be outside, man, and be able to see a car driving in front of me, man. And not respond to it. And I don't do those things. I don' t play my music loud in my building. See, out of all the traditions, man... So I'm trying to wind this up down to you. So I' m talking about the way that my behavior is, is real important, man.. That's really honest. See,I believe in nine kinds of anomalies. See,that's the 10th tradition. See, don't give me no other belief system. See, I believe in non-cause anomalous now. I don't want to hear too much about nothing else. I live the non- cause anomalous way and my behavior has completely changed in those areas, not just using drugs. I talk with kids in my neighborhood because they see something in me. So that makes it available for a person so when they say they want some recovery they remember who I was and they can come up to me and they say man that program definitely works we're not just the users see I ain't the guy that's going to give you the message stop using see because when I got here man I received the message find a new way to live see where I come from man uh I pimped for 22 years I sold dope for 22 year and I boost for 22 years. So I'm talking about when I came to not cause anomalies, it wasn't the drugs that really brought me here was the guilt. It was the wrongdoing because see I didn't just use drugs. I used people all my life. So by the time I was 30, I was walking around with my head down because I had made some women do some of the outrageous stuff just to prove me that they loved me i'm talking about i had they had to steal from their mammy or whoever each corner they had the beyond so i was riding so when i got here i didn't even look at the concept of drugs because that that desire removed quick from me i wanted to change see when i got here I didn't like myself so what i did was i got with somebody like the literature says It's a get with somebody who has faced the same dilemma and found a way out. So when I got here, I wasn't attracted to the guys that had the jewelry and all that stuff because I had just left that. So when i got here man, I had got with somebody and he told me, he said, man you're wearing jeans and gym shoes. We're going to change all that. We're gonna change what you attract to you. we're going to smooth down your ego because I knew when I put on clothes I was real handsome at the time but you know the drugs take your looks away y'all know what it do to us and I took that suggestion so I learned that I was the guy that studied the literature so after studying the literature so long and receiving a shot of hope with just reading the literature, I understood automatically that it wasn't just as much about the drugs. It wasn't the drugs, it was the reaction, my behaviors. See, I knew I had anger issues and all that. I was bad for the neighborhood. I sold dope on the corners. I had prostitutes on the corner even though I never stood out there to watch them. when I went in stores I stole out of stores so I didn't do nothing I had a game conscience so I want you to know that this disease works right here and it's with you all the time but I want to stay focused on the 10th edition because I want To let you know that this program worked for me see Narcotics Anonymous has worked for me nothing else So I'm talking about when I leave here, I can't have an NA t-shirt on and fight. Because that would send off a missed message. You know, because see, I understand, man. I've been around a minute. And I have done some things, but with the commitment that I put on my recovery and the commitment that I've put on change, man, look, I'm an extremist in everything I do. So I said, I'm going to get it right and I'm going to live it right. So I understand that, see, if I get on a Narcotics Anonymous T-shirt and I am fighting and I Am out of pocket, you understand, somebody might say that program don't work. See, if you read tradition, it sounds like, you know, you are talking to somebody. It sounds, that is why it kills me sometimes. That is why they say understanding comes slowly. See, if you read it, people a lot of times, first thing they say is, man, I ain't got no comments on no outside issue. That ain't what the literature talking about. We don't get into it when we're with another facility. That means if we got a meeting in here and they got something else going on out there, we honor their rules. You know, if they drinking syrup over there, we don't grab them people and tell them, man, it's all about the money. We don't do all that. We honor their rules. We believe in not cause anomalous, though. We ain't going to let them tell us we need to connect with them neither. So, see, really I don't even focus on that. I focus on living the program outside of the rooms of not cause anonymous. See, my attraction means more than anything I can say out of my mouth. See, because, see it's a lot of people know me and they know who I was. And the change is I ain't pimping no more I still have the characteristics I ainít saying Iím perfect Because Iíll write a check in a minute If Iím short on money I got a check In my pocket Iíll ride it Because I still like Some material things But as far as The living process Of letting somebody know Man that guy Theyíll know something That guy Theyíll change That guy Theyíre involved In something that works see and you know in that 12 tradition it's basically man it's everything you learn from 1 to 11, 1 to 12 just like the steps you learn a little bit of this, a little bit of that, a lot of that a little big of that and you get some results see I understand man that when I read the literature and when I read it, I understand that there's a benefit after every step. You know, you got some benefits where it talks about you're able to hold your head up now. You got some benefits where it talk about you are able to be honest now. You got benefits where they talking about you able to tell the truth. You got the benefits where you talking about getting some feelings, you growing a heart. So I'm talking about the nine kinds of anomalies. What really has to change is the heart and the thinking. So if you're a professional or something, man, hey, look, when I walk through that room, I'm an addict. Y'all equal to me. I ain't no different or no better than nobody else. I'm real grateful for that. I ain'T no different from nobody else The only thing with me is I stand firm on the belief that not-cause-anonymous program works. That's the only thing. See, I can go through difference of opinions and all. You can have all that with me. I don't care. I'm cool. You got one. You can speak to me tomorrow. You don't, I'm going to speak. See, our speaking still hurts people. I don' hold resentments to none of that. And I only learned this stuff through the not-Cause Anonymous program, man. So I'm telling you, if you're in not-Cause Anonymous, if you in this program, Stay around. Try to get an understanding of this program. Try to get a understand man and most definitely understanding that the only thing that gonna defeat you in this recovery is some spiritual principles and I know that sounds foreign because it sounded foreign to me when I got here They used to tell me, man, don't hit people back. Don't hit people, period. You found a wallet, give it back. That sounds foreign to an addict, man. We just coming here. But I want to guarantee you, man that if you practice, it's the key word, if you practice doing the right thing the majority of the time, man it'll become easy to do the right thing all the time you know uh i love the results and sometimes i dislike the results because sometimes it seems like i'm a mark but it's only because of doing the work and i went and found that little boy who really really really never had no problems who was really shy who was really just want to be by himself and enjoy life so that's who are not causing arms and working them steps then brought out of me so all the slick stuff man is I can't even play about won't you and I have plenty opportunities I can it's just you know what I resist of going back to where I can. Look, man, I like going to the unknown. And I'm telling you this because I've been going to the unknown for six years and nine months. And I done got some beautiful results, man. I like who I am. So I'm not going to revert back. I'd rather keep going because I know there's something better. See, God ain't nowhere near finished with me. nowhere near finished man so if you really don't like yourself I'm talking about if you really don't Like Yourself and if you can identify that and if You Can Do The Work Man and Finding Out Who You Is Finding Out Your Motives And Your Patterns Why You Did What You Did What Made You Picked Up The First Time That You Ever Got Mad In Your Life I'm Talking About And Go Through Some Healing Process you'll meet that stranger that they told me six years and nine months ago and you know pain man I understand through my process that pain is just like it's a growing piece because man the times I wanted to hit some people and I cried about it cause I felt like a punk something I didn't want see I didn'y want to let go of that piece I didn'T want to LET GO OF THE ANGER I didn't want to let go of the violence But see when I put all this And constantly studied the literature Constantly sharing with my sponsor Constantly doing the writing I also came out with the truth So I found out man That pain is good See pain ain't nothing but God is working with you And he finna change you So accept the pain. If you're a fighter and somebody say something to you and you're going to cry, accept the cry, man, and don't react to the hitting. Because believe me, man. With that whole known, change will come. That's what's happening. Change. So I resist to go back to where I came from. I love my way of living now, man? You know, it's like a normal life. It's just life on life terms. Stuff going to happen in that kind of numbers. Get a wife, make a meeting, lose a wife make a meet and get a job, make a meet, lose the job, get it, make a meet. I'm talking about just share. I'm trying to learn how to identify what's going on man but life don't show up. See these steps in these traditions man, have allowed me to go through life man, totally different from how I used to go you know it was a time man where something didn't go right man, I might want to snap out I might wanna come up with a scheme to try to hit a stang or something but see man I gotta walk with what I believe in See I'm talking about See I didn't went through the process See I like to put the steps and the tradition together See I am talking about 11-11 now See I remember praying for the things But I remember Praying more for The spiritual principles Open mindedness, willingness, patience Tolerance, unconditional I remember crying for that more than anything But when it was all said and done I found out that prayer works But really in the end I found out that when you're really in your 11th step, that all you're praying for is God's will. And God's wheel is good wheel. So it's just be good. I'm talking about be good now. I'm telling you, God didn't get you from a dusty hole. Stop you from using. put you around the people just like you and you want to go back and use life man is about being good for me it's about constantly watching my disease because it operates in all areas see my thinking no it can't get me with, go get a bag. My thinking likes to work with me in other areas. It like to work me in areas of people with untreated addiction. Cause like I say, I'm not perfect. But after doing all the work that I have done man, sometimes I just don't have tolerance for nonsense. I didn't have tolerence for when I was in the street cause I was serious about my money I had real loyalty I had real friendships we didn't steal from each other I can leave $1,000 in the car to be there he can leave a thousand dollars in my car to be their my woman can walk around with a lingerie on my guy wouldn't look at her like that because woman we wouldn't we was brothers she was our sister that's what she was so coming around here man it's not judging people I just have to be careful of me and what I might get into see cuz I really recognize that word powerlessness say I don't take no chances because I know that this disease works 24 hours a day in this state right here so if I end up at the wrong place at any wrong time anything might happen so I don t even take chances like that period you know so I dont be knocking guys, they do what they do. I just go home. Me and my wife ain't even together. Diseased and took her and she flew away. And it ain't do nothing but make me put a better look at my disease. Watch it much closer. It make me share more heart about how deep this disease is. So if you here, stay here and try to understand this disease. Because it's tricky. Real tricky. See, I understand complacency ain't just about making meetings. Complacency ain'T just about calling or getting with nobody. See, understand, complacency is me that I didn't put a limit on what I want to learn, that I don't get self-okayed, that I'm all right. That's what complacency Is, self-approval. So I know I ain't finished, man, because I got to watch this disease. So a 10th tradition, man for me, I'm going to share this real quick, 10 through 12 because I only got a couple of minutes, real quick so I can put it in a simplicity way. A 10th Tradition for me is, man in my neighborhood I act like a citizen. When I come out my door I speak to the neighbors. I wash my car, speak to little boys, I empty my garbage. I got on a Narcos Anonymous t-shirt. I don't do no arguing, no cursing or none of that. 11 tradition, I gotta live what I say. I ain't got to promote this to you. You gonna see my attraction gonna speak better than anything I said. 12 tradition, I'm equal. I aint no different from nobody else. If I get a professional job it ain't got nothing to do with non-profit knowledge. Y'all don't need my professional opinions. I share my experiences, my strength and hope and I know a lot of stuff but I come here man to learn this. So if you're here stay here. Don't use. Get a sponsor Work and Step Guidebook. It works how and why Step and Work Guidebook and get them IPs and read them ask questions. And with that, I'll keep coming back. Okay, it's time for our second speaker that's going to speak on the traditions, 10-11-12, Chris. We give you Chris. Hello, my name is Chris, and I'm a natty. And, you know, I was running in and out like a crackhead with $5, right? Trying to get a book. And all the people in the convention, ain't nobody got no book. And then the tripped out part was when nobody in here at first, but like four people. And a sister was like, why ain't nobody in there to hear the tradition? I said, because they are negotiable now. Because the traditions are not important nowhere. Everybody want to work steps. but don't nobody want to work and live the traditions so then what happens is the groups don't carry out their primary purpose the seven traditions don't get passed we invite people from other fellowships to speak at a meeting the unity is disbanded we got sponsees, families section off in groups trying to take over meetings because ain't no more ultimate authority see I'm talking about the stealth traditions before 10 11 and 12 because to get to them that's when you enter some big boy or big girl arena stuff because if you can if you could hold on to one through nine with the group then the 10th tradition will be real important because then we won't being me, sharing on what dope spot got the bomb and then two members go and cop and die. That's an outside issue. You know, sharing in meetings on worldly events are not our purpose. Our purpose is to come here and share a message of hope to somebody else so they can get better because we are sometimes, and I do it and I be, I go everywhere. I'm one I'm one of the members, I be everywhere, all over the state of Illinois, and I go everywhere, and I travel, and I see how the traditions are not, they are negotiable now. The traditions are so negotiable that we'll keep electing the same person to hold our money who just ran off with some money over there. We ought to let, when they say so-and-so is doing service work over here, we ought to leave them over there and go over there and say, no, she just ran off with the seven tradition. That's not an outside issue to break a person's anonymity that they're stealing narcotics and anonymous money. What needed to be did is bring the police involved and walk somebody out in some handcuffs, I bet you there won't be no more goddamn stealing. Because you don't want to be embarrassed with being laid out of a meeting, your home group in handcuffs. I bet your ass will stop stealing then. You know, but the traditions, because it's a tradition, because each tradition supports the other tradition. it's like a building each brick holds up the other brick each tradition holds up the other tradition so the 10th tradition is real important because we sometimes get what's the outside issue mixed up I'd have been in meetings where brothers then jumped on sisters and they won't even break it up and they say that's an outside issue and I'm talking about he kicking her ears off And they'll say, that's an outside issue. That's because they just know what the tradition says because we read them regularly. If a member... You know, that'S not an outside issues. An outside issue is worldly events like treatment centers. And people got this real bad in my area. They'll bring in, you know we pass out flyers like every fucking day. You might make a meeting and go home with 19 pieces of paper of parties, speak-a-thon that's not Narcotics Anonymous related. You might go home now you got all these pieces of papers with speak-athons and say you don't really know. You're a newcomer. difference between the fellowships yet and they're going to meeting and they'll say their narcotics anonymous related information and they say yes a speaker thon going on so-and-so and and they don't even know but we have members with time was that ain't no goddamn not kind of anonymous information instead of just saying no that's not and they relate it that's an outside enterprise we ain't got nothing to do with that but what happens is the 10th edition is so see the traditions protect us from us it killed a big eyes and a little use because look man I make meetings and I get into with members with time because I'm a radical and you'll be amazed at the shit they'll say because they got time and I'd be like damn you know and and and the reason they we they do that because they don't really know no fucking better but me being a radical i don't care i approach them and especially if my sponsor around because i know he got a whole lot of information and he'll go down with me you know what i'm saying because if he into it i'm going down with you know shit that's my sponsor and our birthday on the same day and that's my sponsor and I love my sponsor and that is my sponsor damn it we'll pull it but I know he got some information so if he around like I'm in a meeting right and the member who was the chairperson left with the seven traditions boogie skedaddle he was gone And the members who was there, they wanted to keep sharing and not figure out where the money went. They wanted to come in, share what they're going through, but they don't want to find out where their money at so we can pay the rent for the place to stay open for a member who might need to make a meeting, so we can further our primary purpose. So I snapped. I said, there's some bull, you know, I went off and he said, you need to call your sponsor and say fuck you, I think my sponsor will be real proud of me right now. Cause I'm checking the motherfucker with 17 years, you know? And I stood up, you now, he about 6'6", about 320, but damn it, I can take him. But see, the traditions, if we live the traditions it won't come to that point of me taking them. See because sometimes we'll stand up, I see people with no steps and no traditions want to tell a group how to function. See the traditions help you, if you get into service man, it's look, my first, when I first come around, I've been clean almost nine, I had nine years, April Fool's Day. And service work was real important. If you going to get in service, I hear everybody saying read the twelve concepts, fuck the twelve concepts first. You need to read the traditions because you're going to be in some heated arguments with some members and i'm grateful that i didn't come around when they was toting guns because i'd have bought me a bigger one you know because the 11th tradition talks about attraction rather than promotion and and and that's real important because sometimes what a person might not say you'll get a lot out of other than what a process say because you'd be attracted to the person's persona, how they carry themselves. You know, and I'm going to say this because this is me. A lot of people see me in my area because I'm a radical and I've been way outspoken and I joke, I have fun. They don't think I know nothing. They just think I'm clean. And that shit be my motivating force to help me stay clean. You know what I'm saying? But they don't know that, you know, I got a sponsor. I do everything in the world to stay clean. I got sponsees. I make group. We go over the literature. I do my own personal reading, you know, and people will be like, he ain't working on shit. So I'll convince them that I ain't workin' on shit, but when it's time to carry the message or to be there for a newcomer, or to get a meeting started, or whatever. I'm always in the front. But I believe that it's about attraction rather than promotion. People be talking about now that you need to walk up, before you get a sponsor, you need watch them outside the meeting. For what? If you ain't got no car, how you gonna watch somebody outside the meetin'? You gonna follow somebody home? It's about attraction, not promotion. He might do something else when he go home. He might not even have a home to go to. But in the meeting, he's sharing recovery. He carrying a message. He sitting there and he ain't getting high. So the attraction is real important because if you're going to promote, man, people are going to look at you like you crazy. You might say something to run them up out of here. you might say something to make them not want to become a part of Narcotics Anonymous. So it ain't about what you say in the 11th tradition, it's about attraction. It's about when I first come around, man, watching members with just looking fresh. You ain't had that look. I was enthused about just looking at y'all, coming to meetings and saying, damn they got on matching clothes. That's what I was in enthuse with, you know, members had on a gold shirt with some black jeans and some gold shoes or whatever. And I'm like, damn, he get color coordinated. That's what I was attracted to. I was attractive to hearing members share that they hadn't been to jail. I was the attracted to that because it also talks about at the level of press, radio, and film, right? That's real important because we have a whole lot of people bootlegging shit around Narcotics Anonymous, right? And I be making meetings like speaker-thons outside issues and they be videotaping it. And I'll be like, damn. But that's what they do. I'm so glad they ain't videotapping shit in Narcotic Anonymous yet. we're going to get there because we already went to another level with taping we on CDs we went from tapes to CDs next they somebody might introduce and say let's start taping it and sell it on DVD you know you can watch yourself share you know what I'm saying they might get there But, at the level of press, radio and film, can't no one member speak up for Narcotics Anonymous. That's why every convention they tell you that the press contact you, you need to go to PNI and get somebody that's on that committee. You can't do it by yourself because if I go to speak for Narcotics Anonymous as a whole, We'll be investigated. Because I've been to the penitentiary three times. See, the press ain't going to put out that I've bee clean almost nine years. They're going to get my background. They're gonna fuck me up. I'm going to be on... Look, I ain't been in jail than in nine years, but I'ma be on parole. You know, I'm gonna have child support people after me. Everybody. My landlord might put me out. So it ain't good to try to go and represent Narcotics Anonymous on your own because I don't know what to say to the press. I ain't going to say what Narcotic Anonymous do. I'm going to tell you about me. But the people who are on that committee know what they're saying. They're not going to speak. They're Not Going to Say What They Do. They're Going to say What Narcótics Anonymous Do, and we specialize we carry the our primary purpose is to carry the message to the addicts who still suffer we're not affiliated with nobody none of that, they know what I don't know what the hell to say I'll be up there trying to do a commercial and I might ask them for some money first I'm going to be like what this motherfucker pay you know what I'm saying so that's why it ain't good for members to try to get in front of the radio and all that to promote us. Because if you're going to fuck us up, we'll be audited. Because you done went outside and said some shit. We throwing a convention. There's over 10 million people in there and they're going be like, damn, 10 million people? That's a lot of money. Just think, if everybody gave a dollar so did we audit it just because you know one of us who think we know some shit and got in front of the press to quote some shit that they don't know so that's why we have a certain committee set up for just that because now this shit went to a whole nother level before i came around narcotics now they have no billboards they didn't have no we wasn't in the telephone book so now we weren't known at the police station so now if you go out of town and you need to make a meeting you can go to the police station and get a telephone book and see not Carter's anonymous hotline number because the members are set up that's a promotion that's promoting us to let the public know that we are around now because we got a slightly good reputation as being a good fellowship but with the hotels I don't know some of us and fucked up stealing towels. Certain hotels, our promotion and attraction is really fucked up. We steal towels. We don't steal shit. We don' t take the TV to the refrigerator or none of that. We steal tiles, sheets, blow dryers, irons. We don't steal shit valuable We ain't jumpin' in the back of the counter to get the safe We got towels We make sure our ass stay clean Cause we gonna have us some towels We ainít got shit in our house but towels Look baby, I've been out of town What you bring back? Towels Where you get the towels from this time? The Sheridan the Marriott look they I even been to the Hyatt we got towels people come over you like what you need I need a towel but and the traditions are real important man and sometimes it's up to the individual do we want to learn the traditions or not you know in the 12th edition this is where people get fucked up the anonymity now listen to this and this is just my belief if everybody knew I was getting high awesome I come out the projects awesome I what people stayed on top of people like 10,000 people in their own community we had our Our own mayor, our own governor, our own police department. Everybody knew I got high. So why the fuck can't nobody know I ain't getting high no more? We take the anonymity piece and fucks it up. Anonymity mean bearing no name, right? But you'll see a member on the street, a newcomer senior, be like, hey, you gonna make a meeting? Hey, be quiet, motherfucker. Don't break my anonymity. He just asked you what you going to make of me. He didn't say nothing else. He didn'T say you was a bank robber. He just said, hey, man, you going to make the meeting later on? Hey, man. Don't bring my anonymities. My job might fire me. What the hell? he just asks you when you gonna make a meeting if you can't explain that to your boss you could be on a PTA meeting you could beat first thing man I don't want nobody to know I got high motherfucker all your boss gotta do is make your family reunion everybody gonna know you got high cause they gonna somebody Uncle Otis gonna tell Hey, boy, you want a drink? Oh, that's right. You fuck with them people. What they... They're going to tell. So people get it so twisted on what the anonymity really means. Anonymity goes back to the 12th tradition, goes back into the 11th tradition. So when you get in front of the press, you don't represent Narcotics Anonymous. so you don't say that I'm the spokesperson for Narcotics Anonymous and then we ain't got to have Robert Downey Jr. say hi I represent Narcotic Anonymous you know what that motherfucker is going to do right he's going to smoke next week we ain'T got to have Darryl Strawberry say hi I'm a member of Narcótics Anonymous because he's going to smoke and go to jail next week. We don't want nobody up there. We don' t need no celebrities. We don''t need nobody. We don ''t want nobody out there to say they represent narcotics. I'm the spokesperson, like me. I'm a spokesperson for Narcotics Anonymous. And then they get my background. Like, shit, if he represents all of them, we might have to put them under surveillance so people get it twisted like if you see them in public and you say you're going to make a meeting hey man you breaking my anonymity I don't want nobody to know if you scared to let people know that you getting your life together after everybody know your life was fucked up something wrong with you you need to go back to step one cause look But in my neighborhood, I grew up in the projects. And now there's so many people call me to help their kids because they see me out all night. So why not? I can't tell them, yeah, I made means. I'm in recovery. I've been clean almost nine years. I'm doing all right. Because believe me, they keep in count. They know it's been almost nine Christmases I ain't stole shit out they house They know It's been Almost nine Easter's I done bought my kids some Easter clothes People keep counting When you ain't counting Lose count and go home and say Mom I don't know how much time I got She gonna tell you Hold on let me go to this book Boy you been clean Almost nine years Your clean date April Fool's Day So when you go to, people get anonymity twisted because they're ashamed of being an addict. That's all I get out of that. It's about the anonymity is for the 11 traditions so when the people who do public information won't go and say they're the spokesperson. They can go and tell what our primary purpose is, you know because each tradition is important and I'm grateful that a lot of people came because if it had just been three of us, I'd have really shared about how the traditions are negotiable. You know what I'm saying? Because they are man. People don't value, they wanna hear some grimy, grueling shit and then when you ask them to do service then they say the convention fucked up. Then you ask what committee they on they say I ain't doing no motherfucking service work. them the people who the traditions ain't important they ain't doing no service work but there's a problem with everything that's going on in narcotics anonymous they ain'T putting shit in the seventh tradition but they want refreshments you know like now they got three the bass is going around like one time for the seventh tradition one time for refreshments and then again for motherfuckers coming in late I'm like damn where's the building fun at because when I came around the seventh edition covered everything the rent the literature the refreshments it They cover everything. So now she in the doorway, I guess she scared to come in because she's doing service work, but they're telling me it's time to stop. You know, my man went to sleep, but that's good because he might be tired. But I'm grateful. No, she at the back door waving. Okay, but I'm thankful that I came out here to make a convention. They asked me to share. You know, that's why it's really important to get the information so you never know when somebody might call on you at the spur of the moment to share. You know my name is Chris Nomnatic and I'll keep coming.