Building a Life on the Big Book Foundation – Sandy B.

Well, good evening everybody and welcome to Far Corners.\nI can't believe how happy I am to see you all.\nI didn't know if I was going to get here.\nAnd just knowing the people that were going to come\nmade me really want to be here and take part in this.\nSo, we'll see what happens.\nNo guarantee about anything.\nHow many were at the first Far Corners?\nWow, we got about seven or eight.\nI'll just tell you a little of the history about this.\nI just woke up about three in the morning about six years ago.\nAnd it was just clear as a bell what this plan was going to be.\nAnd even the name Far Corners.\nThat it was not going to be announced locally.\nThat we wouldn't allow any groups.\nYou could bring one friend, but no groups coming.\nBecause they just hang around together.\nThat we would rely on word of mouth.\nAnd we would hope to get a lot of old-timers.\nSo that those of you that were approaching being old-timers\nwould find fascinating company to be with over the weekend.\nAnd that it would not be Alcoholics Anonymous.\nEven though we're all members.\nWe would use our full names.\nWe wouldn't have the preamble.\nIt would be totally separate.\nAnd it would be the springboard out of our program.\nAs suggested in the 11th step in both the big book and the 12 and 12.\nTo explore other avenues of spirituality.\nAnd so we got a library.\nAnd we had some crazy lectures.\nThose of you that remember me, Tars, and you, Jane.\nI can't believe I did that.\nWe even had a stretching routine.\nThat was when I was healthy.\nAnd so what it was, was a chance to\njust explore in an unlimited way\nwhat you might say.\nWas the far corners of spirituality, the universe, or whatever it was.\nAnd I think I knew\nwithin a week or two as it started to form\nthat this was not going to be a linear event\nlike a state convention\nwhere you just go on and on and on.\nGet another chairman and go on and on.\nThat this was going to be something\nthat had a beginning and an ending.\nAnd this is going to be the ending.\nIt is coming in for a landing\nafter our journey.\nIt's almost as if\nwe started in\nAA\nand the great foundation\nof our program\nthat I don't think a single word\nshould be changed anywhere in there.\nAnd then looking at the\nboth 11 steps where they say\nour libraries are full of books\nand there's\nspeakers and\npeople to listen to\nand go out and see\nwhat is available\nand use\nuse it to bring your AA program into the fourth dimension\nor the third dimension or whatever you want to call it.\nBecause there's such a wealth of spiritual knowledge available.\nAnd we tried to get books to do that\nand have lectures that went off the chart.\nBut it was all designed like a prodigal son journey.\nSo that we would take it and come back home\nand then see that all the answers were here all along.\nThat there isn't anything more powerful\nthan what's been written in our literature.\nIt's just that we went where we could see it more clearly.\nMaybe you took a book and an author explained humility to you\nlike you never had it before.\nAnd so you came back.\nTo your AA program with this extra dimension on humility\nor forgiveness.\nAll of the qualities that our program has.\nAnd I know that part of me is disappointed.\nBut part of me knows that once something ends,\nsomething new is going to take its place.\nAnd that's what scares me.\nWhat the hell are we going to do next?\nAnd we'll just have to wait and see.\nNow, for those of you that haven't been here before,\nwe have a question box somewhere.\nIf it's not up now, it'll be up.\nOh, it's in the back.\nAnd we asked you when you came to bring a,\na spiritual question.\nAnd my friend Jerry Jones has gracefully\nvolunteered to do one of the hours.\nAnd I'll do the other hour.\nAnd I think you'll find the questions and answers\nare fascinating.\nBecause you hear the question and you kind of have\nan idea of what you think the answer is.\nAnd then you hear something that is quite different.\nAnd,\nboth of them may be true.\nBut it's nice to be able to hear\nwith an open mind\nother ideas on what the answer to these questions might be.\nIt reminds me of that book,\nI Am That,\nthat we had in the back there\nwhere this guru from India\nwho had became totally awakened\nand people from\nEurope and America would come\nto sit,\nin his presence just to feel the awakening energy\nand to ask him questions.\nAnd so the whole book is questions\nfrom the travelers from around the world\nfollowed by his answer.\nAnd of course when you're reading it,\nyou read the guy from England,\nhe asks a question,\nyou go,\nJesus, anybody knows the answer to that.\nAnd you've got it formed in your head\nand then you read what the guru said\nand you go,\nwell, I guess I missed that a little bit.\nIt was so.\nI was a little off.\nAnd you realize\nthat as\npeople's perspective\nchanges,\nthey see things differently\nand they come out with different answers.\nIt's all what you see.\nLike when you first came to AA,\nyou just saw\na terrible burden\nthat had been imposed on you.\nYou didn't even ask to come.\nI'm here, most of you.\nAnd as the years go by,\nyou just see that this is\nthe most precious gift\nthat was ever given to you.\nIt was being forced in here.\nAnd so\nI find that\na lot of fun\nto keep working on this\nand just see things differently.\nSo one of the things you'll see\nare these holograms.\nOn the side of the walls\naround here.\nAnd feel free\nthroughout the whole weekend\nto go up and look at these things\nuntil you see the third dimension.\nAnd I always tell this story,\nbut I never saw one\nuntil about 20 years ago\nwhen I was at my son's house\nin Baltimore\nand they'd just come out or something.\nAnd everybody was looking at it\nin the hallway.\nOh, and even the grandchildren\ngo, oh yeah, yeah.\nEveryone got up but me.\nAnd it was really irritating me.\nSo I'd put my nose up close\nand then I'd back up\nand then during dinner\nI kept going to the bathroom\nso I could go back by this thing.\nI never saw it.\nI went home without seeing it.\nAnd I know there's been guys\nwho came here\nwho didn't see it the first year\nand saw it the second year.\nIt was to see this image open up\nthat is very similar\nto seeing something\nin another dimension.\nAnd that's why we have them up.\nAnd also, when you go down,\ndo we have the St. Francis thing up?\nIs that up or not?\nIt is up?\nOkay.\nThey have a walkway.\nIt's on your map\nthat is where you can meditate\nand they have the Ten Commandments\nwith little benches to sit down\nand they've allowed us to put\na line from the,\nthe prayer of St. Francis\nin front of each one of those\nso when you go out\nyou can sit and reflect on\none of our greatest prayers.\nAnd then, of course,\nthe books.\nDo we go straight through\nor is it around?\nOkay.\nAnyway, you've got to go outside\nand go around and back.\nWe used to have...\nOh, they're right back there.\nThank you.\nSee what happens when you're late.\nYou haven't got a clue\nwhat's going on.\nSo, the reason that I\nam bringing this up...\nOh, yes.\nStation to the cross.\nOkay.\nOh, what did I say?\nTen Commandments.\nNo, station to the cross.\nWe want\nat the end of this\nfor all the\nbooks to be gone.\nAnd we want those off the wall\nand\nand\nthe\nSt. Francis.\nIn other words,\nwe want you to take it home\nand take\nthree books home\nand spread them around\nbecause they'll reach\nsome people\nwho otherwise\nmight never\nhave had that.\nAnd I'm just mentioning it now\nbut we'll mention it again\nlater on\nso you don't forget.\nAnd I think that's a nice\nopportunity\nway of distributing\nthe energy\nthat has been felt here\nat these various events.\nAnd somebody will be getting a book\nthat was looked at\nby five other guys\nand\nmaybe influence them.\nAnd you can take it back\nto Seattle\nor wherever\nand\ngive it to somebody\nand who knows\nwhat\nit might do.\nAnd then you can take home\na hologram\nand after a couple years\nfinally see the damn thing.\nSo that'll solve\nthe resentment\nthat you had\nwhich would be nice.\nAnd so the thinking\nbehind this was\nthat word of mouth\nand\nwould somehow bring people\nfrom various places.\nAnd as we look back\nwe had people\nfrom\nBrazil\nand\nIceland.\nThe Iceland guys\ncome down here\nlike we're the neighbor.\nThey're here all the time.\nAnd\nScotland\nand Ireland\netc.\nSo\nwe feel\npretty good about\nthe way this unfolded.\nAnd it may be sad\nthat it's ending\nbut it's\nit's really\nit was intended\nto do that.\nIt was intended\nto finish the cycle\nand accomplish this.\nAnd so I was looking at the\nI think the first handout\nthat we ever had\nwas the pertinent passages\nwhich I'm gonna\nare gonna be\na play\na role\nover the weekend.\nWe never did read them.\nBut I'm just saying\nwhen you look at\npower\npower\npower\npower\npower\n,\npowerful\nspiritual\nwordage\nyou just\nyou just look at the first\nfour or five\nand that's only gets us\nfifty pages\ninto the big book.\nAnd we have\na doctor's opinion\nsaying one feels\nthat something more\nthan human power\nis needed\nto produce\nthe essential\npsychic effect.\nAnd then\npage twenty-five\nwe found much of heaven\nand have been rocketed\ninto the fourth dimension\nof existence.\nOf which we had never\neven dreamed.\nThe central fact\nof our lives today\nthis is one of my favorite lines\npage twenty-five\nis the absolute certainty\nthat our creator\nhas entered\ninto our hearts\nand lives in a way\nwhich is indeed\nmiraculous.\nSo you can see that\nwhatever we read\nin these other books\nthat took us\nto\nplaces\nthat seemed higher\nit's all here.\nAnd what we hope is\nthat as you come back\nand look at\nour program\nagain\nit\nblossoms up\nto another level\nof perception.\nAnd you find it\neven more comforting.\nAnd you find more wisdom.\nAnd you just find\nthings\nthings\nthat you didn't see\nlast year.\nAnd I think that's a\na common thing\nin AA.\nHey Chris\ncan you help me\nget this on?\nIt's um\nyou read the book again\nand something\nlet me put this down\nit got warmer in here\nit got warmer in here\nyou can open the door\nno I can take this off\nit's just\nthe reason is\nI can't think of anything\nto say\nand this is a good way\nto\nkill some time.\nThank you.\nChris and them\nwere worried\nbecause I haven't\nmade sense\nin two months.\nAnd we thought\nmaybe a miracle\nwould happen\nbut it hasn't happened yet.\nSo I think that's\nall the thinking\non\nFar Corners.\nIt's um\nI feel that this is\nexactly the way\nit should\nbe done.\nThat this is\ncorrect.\nAnd um\nI hope you all\nunderstand\nI know that some\nkind of plan\nthis every year.\nBut anyway\nthat's enough on that.\nNow there's supposed\nto be a topic.\nTopic is um\nfor all three of them\nis our society.\nAnd that's a word\nthat\nBill liked to use.\nThe society of Valle.\nWhich is probably\nthe same as a fellowship\nbut I like the word.\nA society.\nYou know what I mean?\nIt's got\nlike\na lot of class\nto it.\nAnd um\nBill liked to call\nAA\nan utter\nsimplicity\nwhich in cases\na complete mystery.\nThat's a pretty\ninteresting sentence\nisn't it?\nHere we have our\nco-founder\nand our primary\nwriter\nwith\n25 years\nof sobriety\nreflecting\non our society\nand coming up\nwith\nan utter simplicity\nwhich in cases\nis a complete mystery.\nAnd um\nwhen Dr. Bob said\nkeep it simple\nhe was saying\na sentence\nthat irritates\nevery self-centered\nalcoholic\nbecause they don't\nlike simplicity.\nNone of us\nlike simplicity.\nSo when we have\nsomething that's\nan utter simplicity\nwe like\ncomplicated things\nso that we can't\ndo them.\nWell I mean\nthere's this\nyou know\nthere's 12 parts\nto this thing\nI don't think\nI'll ever get it\nfinished.\nBut if it's\nsimple\nthere's no\nexcuse\nfor not\ncompleting it.\nIt's so simple\nyou just do this.\nUm\num\nand it also\nleaves no room\nfor our own\ncreativity\nto be applied\nto the solution.\nAnd we don't like\nmoving through life\nwithout\ninputting\nour own ideas\ninto the situation.\nWhereas\nwe have a program\nthat is so simple\nyou simply\nfollow\nthe directions\nand then evaluate\nthe results.\nAnd I remember\nGod that's cool\nI like that\nbut um\nI see a couple\nplaces that could\nuse a little\nimproving\num\nthere\nit's just\namazing.\nSo an utter\nsimplicity\nmeans\nwe don't need\nany of your\nideas.\nPeriod.\nWe don't need\nyou to raise\nyour hand\nand go\nyou know\nAA would be\na lot better\nthan AA\nif we did\nthis\nor if we did\nthat.\nIt's already\nhammered down\nto the\nessence\nand it\nsimply needs\nto be done.\nAnd um\nso we have\nthis\njust\nmiraculous\nlayout\nof um\nthe big book\nand the 12 and 12\nand the way\nthe steps\nare written.\nAnd when\nthey're followed\nwith a good\nsponsor\nit produces\nconsistently\nspiritual\nawakenings\nwhich are\nthe most\ncherished\nexperience\nthat man\ncan have.\nNow a lot\nof\npeople in the\nbusiness world\ndon't know that\nthey think a\njaguar might be\nthe most\npowerful\nbut\nfor those of\nus that are\nthat have\nexperienced\nthis\nwe realize\nthat um\nto find\nout\nthat there\nis a creator\nwho cares\nabout us\nand we\nfind out\nby experiencing\nthis\nit's\nsomething\nthat\nwe just\nare so\ngrateful for\nyou end up\nbeing grateful\nthat you're\nan alcoholic.\nI'm actually\ngrateful that I\ngot thrown\nin this\ncrazy place.\nAnd got\ndragged\nkicking and\nscreaming\ninto doing\nthis stuff\nthat everybody\nelse is doing\nand then\nI had to\nadmit I was\nwrong.\nThere really\nis such a\nthing as\na higher\npower\nand I\nexperienced\nit.\nSo\nso Bill\ncomes up\nwith it's\nan utter\nsimplicity\nmeaning\nthere's going\nto be a lot\nof resistance\nto it.\nPeople fight\nAA\nthat's why.\nIt's too\nsimple.\nThey want\nto bring\ninput in.\nThey want\nus to go\nlook before\nwe work the\nprogram why\ndon't I tell\nyou about\nme?\nIsn't that\nthis tendency\nthat you\nknow you're\ngoing to help\nme?\nOkay good\nlet me tell\nyou all about\nme.\nOtherwise how\ncould you help\nme?\nHow could you\ntailor the\nhelp to\nme?\nI'm a\ncomplicated\nunique\nindividual\nso certainly\nyou would\nneed to\nknow all\nabout me\nbefore you\ndecide what\nhelp I\nneed.\nAnd of\ncourse in\nAA we\njust laugh\nand we\ngo no\nwe don't\nwant to\nhear about\nyou.\nI'm going\nto tell\nyou about\nme.\nAnd then\nwe share\nas a\nrecovered\nalcoholic\nwhat our\nlives were\nlike and\nwe watch\nthis man's\neyes\nand we\nlight up\nwhen he\nfinds\nsomebody\nwho's\njust like\nhim.\nAnd that's\nour process\nof\nidentification.\nI might\nactually\nlisten to\nthis person.\nHe seems\nto know\nwhat it\nis to\nbe like\nme.\nSo we\nhave this\nsimplicity\nthat encases\nthe complete\nmystery.\nAnd of\ncourse the\nmystery is\nGod.\nAnd the\nmystery is\nwe don't\nhave a\nclue\nabout\nanything\nhere.\nWe\ncouldn't\ntell\nif ten\nnewcomers\ncame which\nfive are\ngoing to\nget sober.\nWe\nhaven't got\na clue.\nWe\nhaven't got\na clue\nwhich\nperson\nwith 25\nyears is\ngoing to\ngo out\nthis July.\nThis is\na mystery.\nTrying to\nexplain\nAA to\nyour friends\nverbally.\nWhat do\nyou do\nwith those\nmeetings?\nOh man,\nit's the\ngreatest.\nI can\nsee you're\nhappy and\nI'm just\ncurious,\nwhat do\nyou do\nthere to\nget you\nso\nwell?\nLike\nTuesday\nnight we\nhave a\ndiscussion\nmeeting and\none of us\nwill come\nup with\nlike a\ntopic,\nyou know,\nlike resentment\nor something\nlike that.\nAnd then\nwe go\naround the\nroom and\neverybody\ntells what\nthey think\nabout that\nand then\nwe say\nthe Lord's\nprayer and\ngo home.\nIt's\ngreat,\nyou want\nto come?\nAnd we\njust\nexplained\nverbally\nwhat\nhappens\nand they\nare\nabsolutely\nclueless.\nBut if\nwe brought\nthem to\na meeting,\nan open\nmeeting so\nthey could\nsee it\nand they\nexperienced\nthe energy,\nthen they\nwould understand\nit.\nSo AA\ncan only\nbe experienced.\nIt really\ncan't be\nunderstood.\nYou cannot\nwrite down\nwhy AA\nworks.\nWhy\ngo make\nstupid\namends.\nYou feel\nbetter.\nIt just\ncan't be\nexplained.\nSo\neverything,\nand what\nabout its\norigin?\nI mean,\nGod,\nthere's\nanother quote\nthat I\ndon't,\nI think\nit's Ernie\nKurtz,\nbut I\nI'm not\npositive.\nAnd it's,\nI'll probably\nscrew it up,\nbut it's,\nit really\ndescribes\nour society\npretty well.\nAnd it\nsays,\nin an almost\nmagical manner,\nAlcoholics\nAnonymous\nis able\nto bring\nto its\nreligious and\nnon-religious\nmembers alike\na view\nof the\nuniverse\nand their\nplace in\nit,\nwhich is\nboth\npowerful\nand exciting.\nIn doing\nso,\nthey borrowed\nfrom religion\neverything\nwhich is\nuniting,\nuniting,\nand I\nthink it's\npowerful,\nwhile politely\ndeclining\neverything that\nis self-serving\nand conflicting.\nIt might\nbe called\nthe spiritual\nheist of\nthe century.\nAnd they\ndid it\nall\non the\nunconsciously\nwithout realizing\nit.\nSo all that\nhappened\nwithout anybody\nplanning it.\nIt just\nended up\nthat way.\nThe steps\nended up\nthe way\nthey're written.\nAnd\nwhen you\nlook at our\nhistory and\nlook at the\ninput that\ncame from\nvarious sources\nand\nand\nand\nand\nand\nand\nand\nand\nand\nand\nand\nand\nand\nand\nand\nand\nand\nand\nand\nand\nand\nand\nI often\ntalk about\nwhat we\nmight call\nthe\nbig bang\nof A.A.\nI've probably\ndone this\na few\ntimes.\nAnd I\nsuppose\nthere would\nbe three\nchoices.\nOne might\nbe\nEbby\ncoming to\nsee Bill\nand the\nimpression\nthat he\nleft.\nIt was so\npowerful.\nHe couldn't\nstop looking\nat Ebby.\nIt wasn't\nwhat he\nwas saying.\nIt was\nthe energy\nthat was\ncoming out\nof his\nfriend.\nAnd he\ncouldn't\nbelieve\nthat this\nwas his\nfriend.\nHe couldn't\nbelieve it.\nAnd the\nother one\nmight be\nat the\npay phone\nin the\nMayflower\nHotel\nwhen\nthings\ncould have\ngone\none way\nor the\nother.\nAnd somehow\nBill\npersisted\nin that.\nAnd my\nfavorite is\nBill's\nexperience\nin Towns\nHospital\nwhen\nout of\ndesperation\nhe just\nsaid,\nwell,\nif there\nis\na God\nlet him\nshow\nhimself\nand the\nroom\nlit up\nand Bill\nnever drank\nagain.\nAnd he\nwas obsessed\nwith the\ndrive to\nsave every\nalcoholic in\nthe world.\nAnd all\nthat happened\nin a\nmillisecond.\nOne minute\nthere was\nno hope\nfor any\nalcoholics\nin the\nworld.\nAnd\n10 minutes\n10 seconds\nlater\nwe had\nthe origin\nof this\nprogram\nthat has\ngotten\n2 or 3\nmillion\npeople\nsober\nin whatever\nit is.\nI've\nforgotten the\nnumbers,\n130 countries\nand however\nmany groups\nit is.\nAll from\nthis moment.\nAnd\nI\nhave to say\nwe could\nlook at\nthis that\nthe\nthis was\nsomething that\nhappened in\n1934\nwhich is\none way of\nlooking at\nit.\nOr you\ncould say\nthat it's\nstill\nhappening.\nThat that\nenergy that\nhit Bill\nis now\nhitting other\npeople.\nAnd as\nit\ncontinues\nthis\nwonderful\ngift from\nGod\nit's\nhard to\nsee that\nthat didn't\ncome that\nway.\nInitially\nyou might\nsay well\nyou know\nhe's in\nthe detox\nplace he's\ngiven these\nthings and\nthat could\nhave been\na hallucination\nor whatever.\nBut as\ntime has\ngone by\nand we\nlook at\nthe results\nthat came\nout of\nthat there's\nvery little\ndoubt that\nthis was\nthe moment\nwhen\nalcoholics\nwere going\nto have\na chance\nat happiness\nwhich they\nnever had\nbefore.\nWe just\nthere wasn't\na chance.\nThere was\njust\nnothing.\nAmazing\nto look\nat the\nmedical\nhistory of\nwhat they\ndid to\nalcoholics\nand it's\njust\nastounding.\nAnd then\nthis comes\nalong\nand\nI think\nsometimes\nI forget\nto reflect\non that\nthat we're\nhere because\nof that\nmoment\nand we're\nwe know\neach other\nand we\nshare this.\nEverybody\nhere it's\nalready bonded\nwith one\nanother\nbecause\nof the\nfact that\nwe're\nalcoholic.\nWe don't\nhave to say\nanything else.\nWe already\nknow.\nHi Fred.\nYeah I'm\nan alcoholic.\nSo am I.\nWell I\nknow a lot\nabout you\nand you\nknow a lot\nabout me\nand you\nknow that\nyou didn't\ncome here\non a roll\nand that\nyour life\nwas very\npainful\nand the\ndamage that\nwe caused\nwith others\nthe\nconflict\nall of\nthat.\nAnd we're\nstuck with\nit.\nWe just\nwe get\nsober and\nthen we\nhave this\npast.\nAnd it\nseems like\nwe're going\nto be\nhaunted\nwith it\nfor the\nrest of\nour lives\nuntil we\nstart through\nthe steps\nand we\nget to\nsix and\nseven and\neight and\nnine.\nAnd we\nwatch\nbitter\nenemies\nbecome\nfriends.\nWe watch\nthe power\nof amends.\nWe watch\nthe power\nof forgiveness.\nAnd\nour past\nchanges.\nThere was\nsomebody\nrunning around\nsome of\nour meetings\nmaybe about\neight years\nago and\nhe said\nhis favorite\nquote was\nabandon\nall hope\nof changing\nyour past.\nAnd I\ndisagree\nwith him.\nI disagree\nwith him\na hundred\npercent.\nYour\nvision of\nthe past\nisn't\naccurate.\nThat was\nyour self\ncentered\nperspective\non all\nof that.\nAnd as\nwe go\nthrough\nthese steps\nyou're\ngoing to\nfind\nthat your\npast\nstarts\ntaking\nshape\ninto the\nreality\nthat it\nreally\nis.\nI've told\nthe story\nabout\nLos Angeles\nand a\nguy comes\nup and\nsays\nI think\nI know\nyou.\nAnd I\nsaid well\nI've never\nseen you.\nAnd he\nsaid no\nI think\nI know\nyou.\nIn 1962\nyou were in\nan airplane\non a\ncross country\nand you\nwere going\nback to\nCherry Point\nand you\ndeclared an\noxygen\nemergency\nand all\nthe planes\nhad to\nland\nand you\nnever flew\nagain.\nAnd I\nsaid how\ndo you\nknow that?\nHe said I\nwas in\nthe plane\nwith you.\nAnd here\nit is\n40 years\nlater I\nrun into\nthe guy\nthat was\nsitting in\nthe right\nhand seat\nand I\ndid\nthat was\nthe last\nthat I\nflew.\nMy\ndrinking\nmade it\nso that I\ncouldn't\neven get\nin the\nplane.\nI was\nso\nfrightened\nI thought\nI was\ngoing to\nhave a\nseizure.\nAll these\nthings were\nhappening.\nSo I\nwent to\nthe colonel\nand said\nI'm not\ngoing to\nfly anymore\nand he\nsaid why?\nAnd I\nsaid well\nI can't\ntell you.\nI'm just\nnot going\nto do it.\nHe said\nyou've been\ndoing it\nfor almost\n14 and a\nhalf years.\nThis is\nyour whole\ncareer in\nthe Marine\nCorps.\nI'm just\nnot going\nto do it\nanymore.\nHe said\nokay well\nthen I'm\ngoing to\nhave to\nwrite the\ncommandant\nof the\nMarine\nCorps\nand we're\ngoing to\nhave to\nget you\nassigned to\nsomething else\nwhich was\nkilling me\nbecause I\ndidn't want to\ndo anything\nelse but I\ndidn't know\nhow to get\nout of the\nbox I was\nin.\nI had\nbeen climbing\nin these\nplanes for\nthe better\npart of a\nyear and\nI was\nhaving\nwithdrawal\nin the\nplane and\nI was\njust\nfrigging\nout.\nIt was\njust so\nscary.\nI almost\nejected a\ncouple times\nand it was\njust this\nterrible stuff\nand so it\ntook about\nthree months\nand I did\nthe legal\nwork for\nthat squadron\nand I\nwould not\nmake eye\ncontact with\nany of the\npilots.\nI was so\nashamed and\nI could tell\nby looking on\ntheir face\nthey're going\nhow did\nthat piece\nof crap\nget in\nthis squadron?\nThis is a\nreally fancy\nsquadron,\nphoto squadron\nand the\nF-8 during\nthe Cuban\nMissile Crisis\nand all that\nand so I\nleft there\nafter three\nmonths of\nshame\nand every\ntime I\nthought about\nthat period\nof time\nI felt\nshame.\nThat was\nthe most\nshame\nthat I\nhad in\nmy past.\nSo my\nfriend\ncomes the\nnext day\nto another\nconvention and\nbrings\nphotographs\nand all\nthis\nfrom the\nsquadron\nand I'm\njust going\nGod that's\nit yeah\nI remember\nhim yeah\nokay\nand then\nhe said\ndid you\nknow how\npopular you\nwere in\nthat squadron?\nThis was\nkilling us\nthat you\nwere leaving.\nThe colonel\nwas trying\nsince before\nthey didn't\nhave treatment\nand nobody\nknew about\nAA\nthe squadron\nanyway.\nHe said\nthe colonel\nwas calling\nall his friends\nthey're trying\nto find a way\nto save you\nfrom this\nit's just\nkilled us\nwhen you\nleft there\nwe were so\nsad\nand I went\nwell that's\nnot how I\nremember it.\nSo I had\nto go back\n42 years\nand plug in\nthe truth\nand get rid\nof my past\nthe one I\nhad\nthe story\nI had\nabout\nthat moment\nin time.\nSo we\nhave\nthe shaping\nof this\nsociety\nthat\nI'd like\nto think\nabout\nand\ncontained\nin it\nare\nmillions\nof people\nwith their\nown ideas\nabout\nwhat should\nbe done\nor\nwhether things\nshould be\nchanged\nand yet\nwe get along\nin a rather\nremarkable\nfashion.\nThe\nto me\nthe thing\nthat\nis the\ncore\nof this\nparticular\nsociety\nis the\npower\nto work\na miracle\nin the\nlives of\na hopeless\nhuman being.\nThat's\nthe signature\npower\nof\nAlcoholics\nAnonymous.\nThe power\nto work\na miracle\nin the\nlives of\na hopeless\nhuman being.\nAnd these\nmiracles\nsometimes\nbecome\nso\nnumerous\nthat we\nforget\ntheir\nmiracles.\nOh yeah,\nhe got\nsober.\nYep.\nI knew he\nwould.\nAnd his\nlife is\nreally happy\nand he's\nhappy and\nhis marriage\nis saved.\nJust another\nevent as\nif it could\nbe caused\nnon-spiritually.\nAs if\nthere was\nsome\nprocess\nthat could\nbe followed\nthat would\nproduce this\nresult.\nAnd\nprior to\ncoming here\nwe all\ntried.\nThe psychiatrists\nand the\npsychologists\nand all that\nand we're\ntalking and\nwe're going\nI need\nhelp with\nmy problem\nlike\nda-da-da-da-da\nand\nnothing\nhappened.\nNothing.\nAnd then we\ncame here\nand took\nsteps we\ndidn't believe\nin.\nDidn't make\nno sense\nto us.\nBut after\nthey worked\nwe took\ncredit for\nyeah I knew\nthat would\nwork.\nI knew\nthat was\ngoing to\nhelp a lot\nto go\nmake a\nmen's\nto my\nmother-in-law.\nSo don't\nbelieve people\nwhen you\nhear them\nsaying I\neagerly\nwent after\nthe steps.\nTheir\nsponsor had\na stranglehold\non them\nand\nafter they\nfinished\nthey took\ncredit for\nit.\nIt's a\nlittle trick\nwe play\nin AA.\nWe make\nbelieve we\nreally\nenjoyed\ndoing this\nstuff.\nOh yeah\nI love\ntaking\ninventories.\nI love\ncalling\nsomebody\nevery day.\nI love\nread page\n82.\nAll right\nJesus.\nRead page\nwhatever the\nhell it is.\nYou know\n10 years\nlater you\ncan hardly\nwait to\nread that\npage again.\nI mean\nhow about\n164\njust the\nlast\nclose out\non that\npage.\nI mean\nGod\nthat doesn't\nmake you\nfeel chills\nto just\nthink about\nthat.\nHmm.\nSo\nsomething\ngot\nassembled\nby the\nyear\n1939\nthat\nand there\ncertainly\nwasn't a\nsociety\nyet.\nThis\nthing was\nwho\nknew\nthat it\nwas going\nto continue\nto exist\nbut somehow\nthat book\ngot written\nand\neven the\nbook\nwas written\nto get\nmoney.\nIt wasn't\nwritten\nyou know\nwell we\nneed a\ntextbook\nwe do\nall that\nwe can't\nraise money\nby hitting\nup the\nmillionaires.\nThey're not\nbuying into\nour deal.\nSo we'll\nwrite a book\nand sell a\nmillion copies\nand then we\ncan get on\nwith the\nmissionaries\nand the\npaid\ndrunk\ntanks\nand hospitals\nand all\nthat stuff.\nAnd here\nwe end up\nwith I\ndon't know\nhow many\nmillion copies\nthat is\nsold.\nHas to be\nover 10\nmaybe 15\ndo you know\n17\n30\noh my\nGod.\nAnd so\nsomething\nhappened\nto give\nus this\nsociety\nthat we're\nall part\nof.\nAnd\nif you\nwere to\ndescribe\nthis\nsociety\nI know\nI would\nhave a\nvery hard\ntime\nbecause\nas you\ntravel\naround\nto different\nstates and\ncountries\nAA is\nexactly the\nsame but\nentirely\ndifferent at\nthe same\ntime.\nThere are\njust going\nto be\ndifferences\nbecause of\ndifferent\ncustoms and\ndifferent\ncountry or\ndifferent\nwhatever.\nAnd yet\nat the\nheart of\nall of\nthis is\nthis\nidentification\nof one\nalcoholic to\nanother.\nWith\nthe intent\nI mean\nthe sole\npurpose\nbeing\nto lead\nthis man\nor woman\nto their\ncreator.\nSo they\nexperience\nthat.\nTo me\nthat's\nthe\nsimplicity\nof\nhow to\nkeep our\nprogram\non target.\nOne\nproblem\nalcoholism\none solution\nis\nto be\nmore\nthan\nGod.\nAnd as\nChuck C\nwould say\nif you're\ngoing\nyou're\neither going\naway from\nGod or\nyou're\ngoing\nnearer to\nGod.\nAnd it's\nbetter to\nbe going\nnearer to\nGod.\nBut we're\ngoing to\nexperience\nboth because\nwe're human\nbeings with\negos and\nthere's times\nwhen we're\njust not\ngoing to\npractice the\npresence.\nAs\nBrother Lawrence\nthat's one\nof the great\nbooks.\nOh my\ngoodness.\nIf you\nhaven't run\nacross that\nPracticing the\nPresence by\nBrother Lawrence.\nLittle skinny\nbook.\nMostly little\nletters that\nhe wrote.\nI don't\nknow it's\nprobably over\na thousand\nyears ago.\nAnd his\nwords are\njust the\nessence of\nsimplicity.\nI remember\none he's\nwriting to\nthis nun\nand says\nI'm\nwhenever I\nsit in\nGod's\npresence I\nfeel very\nhumble because\nhe's God\nand I'm\nnot.\nIt just\nsays it\nall.\nHe's God\nand I'm\nnot.\nThe idea\nthat we're\nnot God\nis\nrevolutionary\nbecause\neveryone\nfeels\nthat we're\nthat they're\nthe center\nof their\nown life\nand therefore\nthere must\nbe\nthat they're\nreally their\nown\npower.\nAnd so\nthey don't\nneed another\nGod coming\nin.\nWe got one\nalready.\nAnd even\nthough it's\nall screwed\nup it's\nnot their\nfault.\nAnd so\nwe have\nthis battle\nthat goes\non.\nAnd I\nfound in\nthis\nsickness\nwith\na lot\nof pain\nand just\nlosing energy\nI lost\nabout 30\npounds of\nmuscle\nweight\nthat the\ncontact\nwas much\nharder to\nkeep.\nBut there\nwas an\nabsolute\nassurance\nthat it\nwas still\nthere.\nAnd that's\na wonderful\nfeeling\nbecause of\nall these\nyears.\nIt's to\ngo\nyeah I\ncan't\nexperience\nthat right\nnow.\nBut there's\nno doubt\nin my\nmind that\nit's just\nas present\nas it was\nbefore.\nIt's a\nvery comforting\nthing in\nthe midst\nof discomfort.\nIt's almost\nlike you have\nthe two\nthings going\non at the\nsame time.\nAnd while\nI'm on the\nsubject the\nnumber of\ncards that\nI got\nphone calls\nfrom people\nall over\nI just\ncan't thank\neverybody\nenough.\nIt was\nI'm just\nvery grateful.\nAnd also\nI want to\nmention\nmy friend\nChris.\nYou all\nknow Chris\nwell he\nsaved my\nlife.\nHe's there\nhe was there\nwith my\ndaughter was\nmurdered and\nhe was there\nwhen I had\nother surgeries\nand he and\nhis wife\nand then\nPeter Howell\nPeter raise\nyour hand\nback there.\nPeter\nstayed with\nme when\nI came home\nfrom the\nhospital and\nwas there\nwhen the\nheart went\nbad and\nall that\nstuff happened\nand he's\nbeen just\nhe could\ntell you how\nunspiritual I\nam.\nAnd so\nI wish you\nwould refrain\nfrom having\nlong conversations\nwith him\nabout anything\nbecause\nboy I\nreally did\nthink pretty\nbad.\nI don't\nwant to go\ninto the\nnext level\nof talking\nabout our\nsociety.\nI'm just\ntrying to\nthink of\nother things\nthat took\nplace to\nget it\nstarted.\nAnd I'll\ntell you one.\nThe longer\nI'm around\nreading different\nbooks I think\nwe had this\nbook back\nthere.\nUncommon\nFriends.\nDid we have\nthat back\nthere?\nYou remember\nseeing that?\nSo I'll\ntell you about\nthe book.\nBecause I\ncan't think of\nanything else\nto say.\nOh yeah,\nChris has\nit.\nThis is a\nguy,\nJames Newton,\nwho wrote\nabout his\nown life\nand how\nhe was\na close\nconfidant\nto\nThomas Edison,\nHarvey\nFirestone,\nHenry Ford,\nCharles\nLindbergh,\nand Dr.\nwon the\nNobel Peace\nPrize\nfrom France\nfor coming\nup with\nways of\ntreating\nwounds\nin soldiers\nso they had\na much\nbetter chance\nof living.\nSo pretty\nhigh energy\npeople.\nAnd he\nwas down\nin\nFort\nMyer\ndeveloping\nreal\nestate\nduring the\ncrash of\n29.\nAnd across\nthe street\nis Thomas\nEdison.\nAnd they\nbecome friends.\nAnd Edison's\namazed that\nthis guy's\nsucceeding.\nPeople have\nbought these\nfreaking houses.\nAnd he just\ncan't quite\nunderstand it.\nSo they\nbecome quite\ngood friends.\nSo much so\nthat when\nFirestone\nand asked\nEdison if\nhe knows\nanybody who\ncould be\nhis right\nhand man\nin running\nFirestone\nrubber\ncompany,\nEdison said\nthis is\nyour man,\nJames\nNewton.\nAnd he\naccepts the\njob and\ngoes to\nAkron.\nDoes such\na good\njob,\nFirestone\nwants to\ngive him\nthe business.\nThat's how\nclose.\nAnd after\nhe was there\na while,\nhe noticed\nthat Firestone's\nson was\na raging\nalcoholic.\nAnd Newton\nhad been\nattending\nOxford group\nmeetings for\nhimself in\nhis own\ninterest.\nAnd while\nattending them,\nhe saw a few\ndrugs sober\nup.\nSo he took\nFirestone's\nson on a\nbusiness trip\nwith him\nand then\nasked him if\nhe would\nlike to go\nto one of\nthe weekends,\nthe Oxford\ngroup\nweekends.\nWhere all\nthe high\npowered people\nwere there\nand Buckman\nmight have\nbeen there\ngiving the\ntalk.\nAnd he\nwent.\nAnd he\ngot sober.\nAnd it\nkind of\ntransformed\nhim.\nAnd his\nfather noticed.\nHe said,\ngeez,\nwhat happened\nto it?\nHe said,\noh,\nI went to\nthe Oxford.\nReally?\nHe said,\nwhat is\nthat?\nHe said,\noh,\nit's this\nbig society\nthing and\nthe people\ngo there\nand they\nfind God.\nThey try to\nbecome better\npeople.\nThey want to\nbe better\ncitizens.\nThey want to\ndo all this.\nWell,\nwe got to\nget that\nin Akron.\nSo Firestone\ncalls Buckman\nand says,\noh,\nI'm on\nthe big\ndeal in\nAkron\nof this\nOxford group\nthing.\nAnd all\nthe papers\nhad it.\nCome\nto the\nOxford\nthing.\nFirestone\nis invited\nyou're all\ninvited.\nSo here's\nthis newspaper\ngoing out\ntelling everybody\nin Akron\nincluding\nAnn Smith\nand Henrietta\nSeiberling\nthat this\nthing you\nought to\nattend.\nAnd they\ndid attend\nand they\nbecame regular\nmembers.\nAnd Ann\nbrought Dr.\nBob there\non a\nregular\nbasis.\nSo if\nyou\nJames\nNewton\nhadn't\nbeen in\nthe game\nOxford\nmay not\nhave gotten\nto Akron\nand there\nwouldn't\nhave been\nany phone\nlists for\nBill to\ncall.\nAnd Dr.\nBob and\nBill may\nhave never\nmet.\nAll because\nthis one\nperson played\nthis little\nrole.\nNow when\nyou read\nhis book\nhe sees\nAA and\nall these\nthings that\nhappened from\nhis point\nof view\nand it's\nrather\ninteresting.\nAnd when I\nlook at the\npictures in\nthere I\njust can't\nimagine some\none man\nbeing that\nclose to\nall those\nother.\nAnd at the\nend of the\nbook he\ntalks about\nhow spiritual\nevery one of\nthem was\nand how\nmuch they\ncared for\ntheir fellow\nman.\nAnd it's\nquite a\ntestimonial.\nI think I'm\nrunning out of\nenergy.\nAnd with\nyour permission\nI'm going to\njust stop\nnow and\nwe'll let\nChris give\nyou two\nhours of\nannouncements\nwhich I\nthink you're\ngoing to\nlove.\nThanks\nLee.