Bob B. at the Solutions Weekend – 1993

About This Speaker Tape

Solutions Weekend - 1993

At thirteen, Bob B. began drinking, driven by early insecurity and a desperate need to be part of the 'cool group.' He maps out a trajectory of wreckage: failing out of Notre Dame a diagnosis of alcoholism at 19 and a period of homelessness where he lived in single-room occupancy hotels and slept in paper sacks. Even after finding AA Bob describes a 'second level of surrender' required years into sobriety to dismantle a wall of glass—the illusion that he was protected while everyone could see his flaws. He cuts through the myth that recovery is the absence of problems detailing how he built a successful real estate company only to lose a fortune in the 1986 tax act. He describes the pain of losing wealth as 'tearing skin' rather than changing clothes eventually finding a peace that doesn't depend on the balance of his bank account.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Bob B. introduces himself and frames the steps as a spiritual practice.
• 4:15 Details on early drinking and the 'magic' of alcohol in masking insecurity.
• 10:30 The story of the track star at Notre Dame and the chaos of college drinking.
• 16:45 Description of the 'grease slide' into homelessness and living in SRO hotels.
• 25:10 The first encounter with AA and the profound impact of hearing others share their lives.
• 34:20 Discussion of the 'honeymoon' phase of early sobriety and the persistence of character defects.
• 45:15 The 'second surrender' and returning to Step 1 after seven years of sobriety.
• 52:30 Working the 4th and 5th steps with a sponsor and the decision to see a psychologist.
• 1:02:10 A moment of total collapse at eight years sober, leading to a deep surrender of the 6th and 7th steps.
• 1:15:40 The rise and fall of his real estate business and the 1986 tax act.
• 1:24:15 Laughter: Discussing the 'mistake' of asking a spiritual director to be less materialistic.
• 1:32:00 Final reflections on recovery as being spiritually awake in the midst of life's problems.