Bill T. at the FOTS Toronto Step 11 – 2021

About This Speaker Tape

FOTS Toronto Step 11 - 2021

A chrome Nazi helmet a primary chain for a belt and a misspelled tattoo that reads 'Hornay!' defined Bill T.'s early years as a professional pretender. He spent two decades as a wannabe tough guy masking a terrified 16-year-old's emotional maturity with a 6'5" frame and a biker persona. After a series of mental institution stays and a collapsing family life he found a home at the Elano Club where the laughter of other alcoholics felt like a place he finally belonged. Over 36 years of sobriety Bill T. views recovery not as a cure for a disease but as the slow painful process of growing up. He maps the 'pillars of spiritual condition' through the lens of powerlessness the cessation of blaming and the realization that nothing is personal eventually moving from the self-obsession of the 'clown suit' to a genuine hard-won capacity for empathy and intimacy with his wife.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Bill T. opens with a joke about not pissing off Teresa.
• 3:15 Description of the 'wannabe' biker persona and the 'Hornay!' tattoo.
• 6:40 First meeting at the Elano Club and the feeling of belonging.
• 9:10 Discussion of the 'Doctor's Opinion' and the first assignment from his sponsor.
• 12:30 The collapse of the ego and the concept of powerlessness.
• 16:45 Laughter: The 'character defect center of the known universe' and surviving the fellowship.
• 20:10 The 'mystery' of a Higher Power and the influence of Alan W.
• 24:50 Step 4 and 5: The realization that he must stop blaming the DMV and the federal government.
• 28:15 The cathartic nature of the Ninth Step and making amends.
• timestamps The 'clown suit' and the story of the youth soccer referee.
• 25:30 Step 10: Self-awareness vs. self-obsession.
• timecode The 12th Step and the development of compassion and empathy.