Big Book Workshop – Kelly M. – 2026 Wilson House Retreat – with Andy B. and Kathleen B.

Good morning, everybody. Good morning. Can folks hear me in the back? I'm not going to be good at yelling this morning. Hey, MJ, we good? He's my man right there. Good morning. Can folks hear me? Oh, it's funny to be mic'd. Something very sacred about this room. We all walk into it, and we start to communicate with one another. We start to connect. It's such a gift. Yeah, let's all take a deep breath. Just close your eyes for one minute here. Take a deep breath in and a long breath out. Try it one more time, and this time involve your body. Inhale deeply from the belly up to the chest. Let your shoulders rise on that inhale, and then let them drop on the exhale. Inhale. земляurch Class of今回 Thank you for joining me this morning. It's nice to see everybody. Beautiful, snowy East Dorset. So I wanted to just talk for a minute, and then we'll try some meditation. Meditation is a try. Every day it's different. There's no hard rules. How many of you have meditated before? Okay. So you're familiar with what the mind is about. But they could be the opposite. does. So the big book says, in the doctor's opinion, in this statement he confirms, he being Dr. Silkworth, that we who have suffered alcoholic torture must believe that the body of the alcoholic is quite as normal as his mind. And that was first news for me, that there was something wrong with my mind. You see, I always relied on my mind to get me through. Very independent, if I got into a jam, I would figure it out and I didn't need your help. And so I used my mind. I wore it like a badge of honor. I got through college, I bought my first house, I didn't inherit it, I didn't marry into it, I did it all. And my mind had me convinced that me, myself, and I were going to do just fine. And then the big book says, something's wrong with your mind. Hmm, I was curious. I was intrigued. And it says, a few pages later, in Bill's story, in no time I was beating on the bar, asking myself how it happened. As the whiskey rose to my head, I told myself I would manage better next time. And it occurred to me, through the help of a sponsor and a relationship with a power greater than myself, that I was going to be able to manage better next time. And I told myself something, just like Bill did. He told himself, I'll manage better next time. Things won't get so sloppy next time. And it occurred to me that I tell myself something, and I believe me. That my mind makes a statement, and I'm convinced automatically. And I became aware that my mind was not going to be able to manage better next time. I was going to help for the sake of it. And while it wasn't going to help me, I was going to do it. And I saw that my mind was not the ally I thought it was. And so, what am I going to do now? If I can't believe me, I'm stuck. And I'm just explaining some of the motivations that brought me to a meditation cushion. And I began to observe how the power of the mind is going to loaded with this idea that as long as you stay in your own state, you can run I began to take seriously the suggestion of prayer meditation. It is our 11th step. And I thought, how do you do that? Like, there's this whole confusion in our culture around that. Maybe it's not a confusion. Maybe there's just many definitions for the term meditation. There's a whole Eastern philosophy and practice through Buddhism and other practices. And there's deep Christian meditation. And there's all kinds of ways to quiet the mind. So I started to explore those. And that's what I'd like to do with you this morning, is just provide a little shelter for you to explore your mind. So the goal is not to shut your mind off. Good luck with that if you try to go into some Zen place. It's really difficult. The minute I try to tell my mind to be quiet, what does it do? It amps up. And what's helpful, I'll give you some tips and then we'll try it out. What's helpful, I think, is to use the body to become present. Like, literally using the body. So, do it now. Feel your feet on the floor. Like, it helps to have both feet on the floor when you're trying to quiet the mind. If I'm trying to sleep, laying down helps a lot. You know, if I'm trying to relax, being chilled out. If I'm trying to quiet the mind, I'm signaling to it, we're about to do something different here. We're going to quiet and see what we can do. So, feeling the feet on the floor. And your hands, wherever they're comfortable. You know, people do all kinds of mudras. Nothing special. Nothing special is necessary, other than for you to be comfortable but not, like, ready to go to sleep. Because once you quiet, guess what will happen? You'll start getting a little drowsy. We're so activated all the time that when we begin to quiet, it feels like, oh, it's time to go to sleep. And it's actually not time to go to sleep. It's time to work with the mind. And that's all it is. It's simply... Becoming skillful at what the mind is up to. Without judgment. My mind is still very bossy and very independent and has a lot of opinions. How about your mind? Right? So, it's not about judgment. It's just about awareness. You know, we talk about a spiritual awakening. That includes the mind. That includes... Becoming aware and awake to, what's my mind up to? Is this a skillful line of thinking? Is this going to lead me somewhere I want to go? Or is this something I make note of without judging? And then just let go. So, let's try it. Try to sit up with as straight a back and shoulders as you can. And close your eyes. We'll meditate here for... A few minutes. And I'll watch the time. You don't have to worry about that. So, I invite you to just come into your body by way of your breath. Notice that you're breathing. Like, literally feel your stomach rise and your chest rise. And feel the exhale without forcing it. Just take four or five or six... Breaths here. And try to pay attention. And your mind will wander. That's okay. Come back to the breath. If your mind is gone off thinking, it's not a problem. It's nothing to judge. Come back to surfing your breath. Riding the inhale up. Riding the exhale down. And come back to... Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Again and again, we return to the breath, just noticing it. Feeling your feet on the floor, your hands wherever they are, the warmth of your hands. And connecting to the breath. And connecting to the breath. Just noticing if you're sleepy or your mind's racy, without judging. Noting active mind, sleepy body, whatever it is. And back to the breath again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Again and again. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Let's see for this last five or six breaths, if you can really bring your attention to them fully. Okay. Okay. So, tell me. What was your experience like trying this out? What's your mind doing this morning? Racy? Is that what that means? Yes. It's racy. How many can relate to a racy mind? Yeah. Right? It's going on to the problems of yesterdays, the fear of tomorrow. Who knows? The snow outside. Mine's got my mind set on coffee right now. Right? It's what the mind does. Other experiences? What was happening with your mind? How many? What's that? I noticed a lot of you can do it. Like the little engine. Oh, nice. You had some self-talk going on that. I got this. Yeah. You can do it. Yeah. Did anybody have any self-talk going on? A little bit? Yeah. I had nothing and it felt great. It was tense when I got here from driving and I just focused on letting everything go. It was really a nice way to start. Yeah. Get back into where I am. Yeah. That's awesome. Could everybody hear Tracy? Yeah. Yeah. Tense on the way from driving in the snow and then coming into the body. We'll do it again one more time. Know that when you first do a sit, the mind takes a good five, some days ten minutes to calm down. There is this dumping. The mind seems to want to blah, blah, blah. And for most times, there is a stillness. There is a stillness behind that or after that. Sometimes. Sometimes not. But it's not an attachment to it. It doesn't matter. What we're doing is we're making space for spirit. That's really what my meditation practice is about, is getting this noisy committee in my head to quiet down, step aside, stand down, so that there's a voice of God. God lives within. We're taught. And how can I hear that voice? How can I connect to that spirit if I am on overload, constant monologue? Do this, do that. I get a lot of I suckness in my thinking. It's just a lot of should have, didn't, wasn't. And now I can observe that monologue in a more. Objective way. Like, oh, there's that thinking again. Let's just go back to the breath. So we're really making room for that powerful sought through prayer and meditation. The meditation is a, you know, we're on the journey of shedding the old self and being born into a new self. And this is one major tool that is super helpful. So we've got about, I don't know, it looks like eight minutes or so. Try it again. Let's try it again. Do you have your Henry? Henry, do you have your hand up? Or no, you're just, yeah, relaxing that way. Okay. Let's wave to Henry. Yeah, let's try it again. So feet on the floor. Now, posture matters in this. So we're signaling to the mind and body. And with repetition, it starts to know. And the mind may quiet down sooner. Maybe not. Every time is different. So pay attention to your posture. Relax your shoulders. And connect to your breath. The gentle flow. rounds out your patter of the inhale and the exhale Without forcing. There's no grasping. And then, that's our inhale. And then that's our exhale. And ush, and... Uhhh... Nothing else! outside noises are a good reminder to come back to the body they're not a problem you you may find it useful to say inhale when you inhale and exhale when you exhale to partner with the mind and give it something to do you you you you you you you you as we return our attention to the room and the sounds we hear around us and the sounds we hear around us know that this practice of meditation helps to give us acceptance of this moment this moment right here full of its imperfections and perfections and as i adjust to accepting this moment i have a much better shot at accepting the difficult moments to come so we are at the end of our time went by fast for me i don't know about you thank you for joining me enjoy your day