Big Book Study, Military Life, and the Reality of Not Drinking by Sandy B.

About This Speaker Tape

Sandy B. maps out a life lived in extremes from the high-altitude adrenaline of a Marine Corps fighter pilot to the depths of a military nut ward. He describes the 'drunk's dilemma'—the split between a crushing inferiority complex and a delusional super-ego—and the terrifying isolation of being 'unarmed' without a drink.

Sandy B. recounts the wreckage of his career including the danger of flying in extreme withdrawals and the eventual collapse of his military identity. He dismantles the idea of a 'justifiable resentment,' illustrating how holding onto anger is like putting yeast in dough until it squashes the person.

Through a series of professional and personal crashes—being passed over for promotion divorce and bankruptcy—Sandy B. makes his case for the 'solution,' arguing that a Higher Power provides the necessary cushion between a person and the hard realities of life.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Laughter: Sandy B. discusses the 'incurable row' where newcomers sit.
• 3:15 Sandy B. discusses the 'major league miracle' of being happy in sobriety.
• 10:20 Sandy B. describes the 'drunk's dilemma' of inferiority vs. super-ego.
• 16:40 The pinball machine metaphor for the alcoholic's daily cycle of isolation and the 'watering hole'.
• 23:10 Sandy B. recounts his time as a Marine Corps fighter pilot and the danger of flying in withdrawals.
• 28:45 The 'nut ward' experience and the hierarchy of patients where drunks are at the bottom.
• 32:10 Step 1: Sandy B. describes his first AA meeting in a blue bathrobe.
• 35:40 Sponsorship: Sandy B. describes his first encounter with his sponsor, Bill B.
• 42:15 The 'yeast in dough' metaphor for how justifiable resentments grow.
• 46:30 The 'gift of surprise' regarding the plane crash in Denver.
• 51:10 Step 2: The 'money or your life' dilemma and the need for a Higher Power.
• 56:20 Laughter: The repetitive, generic advice given by the group during his bankruptcy and divorce.